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The Anime Liker
Aug 8, 2009

by VideoGames
Yeah, I wouldn't accuse Rothfuss of being a plot writer.

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MartingaleJack
Aug 26, 2004

I'll split you open and I don't even like coconuts.
He actually said, "It took like ten years to realize that I suck at plot."

Josuke Higashikata
Mar 7, 2013


So he never actually read his books for the first ten years, bless him.
I'd give him a bunch of lemon cakes and say there's another haul if Dany dies and a second batch if *~*Daario*~* is the one who does it.

Joramun
Dec 1, 2011

No man has need of candles when the Sun awaits him.

rypakal posted:

Why... why would you want this?

Deep down you know you want it too.

Shoehead
Sep 28, 2005

Wassup, Choom?
Ya need sumthin'?

Joramun posted:

Deep down you know you want it too.



Something tells me it'll be the horniest book in the series.














:v:

Joramun
Dec 1, 2011

No man has need of candles when the Sun awaits him.
I'm sure there'll be a lot of blowing going on.

Junkenstein
Oct 22, 2003

I could have sworn the Sticky Princes made it into Cersei and Ned's conversation in season 1.

Joramun
Dec 1, 2011

No man has need of candles when the Sun awaits him.
Not explicitly.

Lena Headey posted:

In the rare event that Robert leaves his whores for long enough to stumble drunk into my bed, I finish him off in other ways.

But it is a quote from book 4 when she's pleasuring Taena Merryweather, so there's still a chance it'll make it in come season 5 (the AFFC/ADWD season).

AFFC posted:

Ten thousand of your children perished in my palm, Your Grace, she thought, slipping a third finger into Myr. Whilst you snored, I would lick your sons off my face and fingers one by one, all those pale sticky princes. You claimed your rights, my lord, but in the darkness I would eat your heirs.

Blade_of_tyshalle
Jul 12, 2009

If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Joramun posted:

I'm sure there'll be a lot of blowing going on.

The cover art makes it clear. The "winds of winter" will be Jon farting through the horn, bringing down the Wall with his mighty flatulance.


HONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNK

Junkenstein
Oct 22, 2003

My favourite ever ASOIAF theory was when someone suggested that the horn Euron blew in Feast was actually the horn of Joramun, so in Dance there'd be a Jon chapter where the wall suddenly just fell down and everyone would be, like, WTF?

Didn't happen. :(

Krinkle
Feb 9, 2003

Ah do believe Ah've got the vapors...
Ah mean the farts


It could still be that horn it just needs to be at the wall to work. Why would blowing it anywhere else in the world cause the wall to explode?

Joramun
Dec 1, 2011

No man has need of candles when the Sun awaits him.

Vigilance posted:

I love how successful the fatties are in the books. Gurm takes good care of Doran, Manderly, and Varys.

Probably because they are self inserts.

He even makes a good case for their obesity being beneficial to their health rather than detrimental.

ADWD posted:

Ser Hosteen Frey ripped his longsword from its scabbard and leapt toward Wyman Manderly. The Lord of White Harbor tried to jerk away, but the tabletop pinned him to his chair. The blade slashed through three of his four chins in a spray of bright red blood. Lady Walda gave a shriek and clutched at her lord husband's arm. "Stop," Roose Bolton shouted. "Stop this madness." His own men rushed forward as the Manderlys vaulted over the benches to get at the Freys. One lunged at Ser Hosteen with a dagger, but the big knight pivoted and took his arm off at the shoulder. Lord Wyman pushed to his feet, only to collapse. Old Lord Locke was shouting for a maester as Manderly flopped on the floor like a clubbed walrus in a spreading pool of blood. Around him dogs fought over sausages.

Any svelte man would have died from that, but Lord Manderly's three chins saved his life. I'm pretty sure this is the Gurm speaking directly to his readers who claim he's in such bad shape he might not live long enough to finish the series.

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

~*4 LIFE*~

Joramun posted:

Deep down you know you want it too.



A Ramsay-centric book I guess.

Joramun
Dec 1, 2011

No man has need of candles when the Sun awaits him.
Victarion, more likely. Ramsay is not a hornblower in the books, that's a show invention.

Blade_of_tyshalle
Jul 12, 2009

If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Have they cast Victarion yet? If not, Ioan Gruffudd.

Because he's Hornblower, you see.

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

~*4 LIFE*~

Joramun posted:

Victarion, more likely. Ramsay is not a hornblower in the books, that's a show invention.

Iwan Rheon is my headcanon :colbert:

latinotwink1997
Jan 2, 2008

Taste my Ball of Hope, foul dragon!


Joramun posted:

He even makes a good case for their obesity being beneficial to their health rather than detrimental.


Any svelte man would have died from that, but Lord Manderly's three chins saved his life. I'm pretty sure this is the Gurm speaking directly to his readers who claim he's in such bad shape he might not live long enough to finish the series.

One might point out to him it was the fact his extra chins protruded forward that caused him to be hit at all. A single-chinned man might have gotten a close shave, but no blood drawn (nor would they be stuck by the tabletop).

And it would only be too good if GURM escaped with his life because some crazy person only managed to cut through 3 of his 4 chins in a rage that he stop writing about football.

Hunky Joe
Dec 21, 2005

I'll fight crime when I feel like it...

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

The cover art makes it clear. The "winds of winter" will be Jon farting through the horn, bringing down the Wall with his mighty flatulance.


HONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNK

I immediately thought of Roy Dotrice's horrible need to make horn noises in the audio version but god drat I wouldn't mind it if he did his haroooooooooo or whatever for Jon farting into the horn.

Urdnot Fire
Feb 13, 2012

Hunky Joe posted:

I immediately thought of Roy Dotrice's horrible need to make horn noises in the audio version but god drat I wouldn't mind it if he did his haroooooooooo or whatever for Jon farting into the horn.
The show should save money by having Dotrice do all the sound effects in a Michael Winslow-esque fashion.

RC Cola
Aug 1, 2011

Dovie'andi se tovya sagain

BananaNutkins posted:

He was really nice in person and not at all pervy. I rode the elevator with him. He was wearing his sailor hat and suspenders get up. It was a reallly small con, so he and Patrick Rothfuss were just chilling in the lobby and anyone could walk up and talk to them.

Also I would say that he looked in good health, so that's a plus, right? I think he might have lost some weight recently (not cancer).

Did you promote A Game of Bones?

Lycaeon
Feb 20, 2013

A closed door is a closed mind.
Am I the only one who doesn't care about the sex scenes? They're short and don't detract from the rest of the chapter/plot (Or book, for that matter).

Joramun
Dec 1, 2011

No man has need of candles when the Sun awaits him.
If anything they are too short and infrequent.

That is why esteemed author T.B. Thread sacrificed his soul to Beelzebub to craft the seminal work A Game of Bones, which amends those issues.

MLKQUOTEMACHINE
Oct 22, 2012

Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill
I didn't care about them at first and glossed over them. Two years have passed since ADWD and all that sticks out to me are how absurd the sex scenes are and how much poop Dany's tiny body can produce.

PittTheElder
Feb 13, 2012

:geno: Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Maybe if she didn't poop so much, she wouldn't be so small?

Joramun
Dec 1, 2011

No man has need of candles when the Sun awaits him.

PittTheElder posted:

Maybe if she didn't poop so much, she wouldn't be so small?

Conversely, does that mean Brienne is just constipated?

Urdnot Fire
Feb 13, 2012

PittTheElder posted:

Maybe if she didn't poop so much, she wouldn't be so small?
She is but a young girl and knows little of the ways of constipation. Also, she has floppy ears.

The Rat
Aug 29, 2004

You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.

Joramun posted:

Conversely, does that mean Brienne is just constipated?

Well when she protested to Renly's guards that she didn't kill him, they thought she was full of poo poo. :haw:

Contra Calculus
Nov 6, 2009

Gravy Boat 2k
This thread has gone from lemoncake and rape jokes to bad puns. Congratulations, I've rated this thread from a 1 to a 2 and I'm going hog wild. Speaking of which, it may be time to close this monstrosity fairly soon to start a new one.

dentist toy box
Oct 9, 2012

There's a haint in the foothills of NC; the haint of the #3 chevy. The rich have formed a holy alliance to exorcise it but they'll never fucking catch him.


Contra Calculus posted:

This thread has gone from lemoncake and rape jokes to bad puns. Congratulations, I've rated this thread from a 1 to a 2 and I'm going hog wild. Speaking of which, it may be time to close this monstrosity fairly soon to start a new one.

B-But The Winds of Winter isn't out yet. What would it be called?

Joramun
Dec 1, 2011

No man has need of candles when the Sun awaits him.

Personperson14 posted:

B-But The Winds of Winter isn't out yet. What would it be called?

The Gusts of Autumn
The Breezes of Pre-Winter
The Gales of Post-Summer
The Drafts of Fall

El Hefe
Oct 31, 2006

You coulda had a V8/
Instead of a tre-eight slug to yo' cranium/
I got six and I'm aimin' 'em/
Will I bust or keep you guessin'

Contra Calculus posted:

This thread has gone from lemoncake and rape jokes to bad puns. Congratulations, I've rated this thread from a 1 to a 2 and I'm going hog wild. Speaking of which, it may be time to close this monstrosity fairly soon to start a new one.

Lets wait untill this bad boy gets to page 666 and then close it.

Contra Calculus
Nov 6, 2009

Gravy Boat 2k

El Hefe posted:

Lets wait untill this bad boy gets to page 666 and then close it.

Actually, this is a good policy since I'm literally 12 years old. Let's do that.

Josuke Higashikata
Mar 7, 2013


What is the point in the word "nuncle"?
It just means uncle. It's just uncle with an extra letter.

El Hefe
Oct 31, 2006

You coulda had a V8/
Instead of a tre-eight slug to yo' cranium/
I got six and I'm aimin' 'em/
Will I bust or keep you guessin'

Contra Calculus posted:

Actually, this is a good policy since I'm literally 12 years old. Let's do that.

I'm 69 years old boy don't get sassy with me.

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

Joramun posted:

The Gusts of Autumn
The Breezes of Pre-Winter
The Gales of Post-Summer
The Drafts of Fall

The Boys of Summer you uncultured plebe. :colbert:

Stay Safe
Sep 1, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Was there no episode last night?

Joramun
Dec 1, 2011

No man has need of candles when the Sun awaits him.

mind the walrus posted:

The Boys of Summer you uncultured plebe. :colbert:

I'm cultured enough to know that that is a pleonasm. :tipshat:

Krinkle
Feb 9, 2003

Ah do believe Ah've got the vapors...
Ah mean the farts


Aurain posted:

What is the point in the word "nuncle"?
It just means uncle. It's just uncle with an extra letter.

The point is Shakespeare had some jesters say it and GRRM wants to sound all Yea Olde Englishe fancy.

rejutka
May 28, 2004

by zen death robot

Aurain posted:

What is the point in the word "nuncle"?
It just means uncle. It's just uncle with an extra letter.

I presume it is some sort of corruption of mine uncle or the like.

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Josuke Higashikata
Mar 7, 2013


Rounsey is one of the better words GRRM uses in place of words people actually use. I have to give him credit there.

Balls to Shakespeare though.

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