TRUMP (28): but it's cardboard ha ha ha

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > TRUMP (28): but it's cardboard ha ha ha

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	500562	49.92%
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	500888	49.95%
	940	0.09%
Total:	1002682 votes

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Hodgepodge: Jan 29, 2006; Can't post for 200 days!

redneck nazgul posted:

nah this is magic the gathering: old ravnica block

see, you had twelve guilds that signed this big important document that gave all the guilds their own poo poo and told them to stop loving with each other, and then ten thousand years later, everything's gone to poo poo because everybody forgot to stop stepping on each others' dicks

but there was one guild bound by secrecy for the sole purpose of breaking the pact because hey, gotta keep things proper

so when everyone stepped on each others' dicks, the spooky doesnt exist guild came out with spies and played all the guilds against each other, ended up breaking the document anyway because poo poo, ten thousand years without rewriting it was loving horseshit

then, the pact thoroughly broken, the spook guild became public knowledge and everyone went "oh yeah, they're okay too, don't step on their dick either" and everyone lived happily ever after

and then jace, the autism spectrum mage, became the Living Constitution

i probably got some parts of that wrong

but if ed balls is wrong, i don't want to be right

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:37

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# ? Jun 9, 2024 06:18

Turdfuzz: Jul 23, 2008

GobiasIndustries posted:

Nah my sister & brother-in-law rescued a dog from the shelter that was sweet as hell unless you were black and then she wanted to absolutely loving kill you. Like she cracked the front window trying to attack the black mailwoman Super sweet but racist AF

grats on saving a racist u must be v prowd of urself

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:38

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

Spoondick posted:

which is why grover norquist is all about vapers rights

Grover Dorquist, friend of the serial vapist.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:38

Yinlock: Oct 22, 2008

GobiasIndustries posted:

Nah my sister & brother-in-law rescued a dog from the shelter that was sweet as hell unless you were black and then she wanted to absolutely loving kill you. Like she cracked the front window trying to attack the black mailwoman Super sweet but racist AF

pretty sure that dog had some bad experiences or turbo-racist owners beforehand then

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:38

Tainen: Jan 23, 2004

Did the winning start yet? I'm pretty tired. I guess that means it did.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:38

Grem: Mar 29, 2004; Can't post for 19 days!

HorseRenoir posted:

that's a blood red district that voted for Trump by 29 percentage points

https://twitter.com/Taniel/status/831730352192360448

going from a 29% margin to a 6% margin in under four months is no bueno

And there's 3 whole years to get that 23% back.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:38

big black turnout: Jan 13, 2009; Fallen Rib

FAUXTON posted:

this is a v good show i highly wrecomend it

at leasst the first season the second is less good

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:39

Turdfuzz: Jul 23, 2008

Hodgepodge posted:

and then jace, the autism spectrum mage, became the Living Constitution

i probably got some parts of that wrong

but if ed balls is wrong, i don't want to be right

imagin bein named jace

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:39

Fuck You And Diebold: Sep 15, 2004; by Athanatos

Turdfuzz posted:

imagin bein named jace

no thanks

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:39

Chris James 2: Aug 9, 2012

Utz posted:

speaking of the piss tape

what is supposed to have happened?

my understanding is that trump directed a couple hookers to piss on a bed, maybe on each other

or... ON TORMP TOO??

I'm thinking there's some bonus material nobody's talking about, like Putin making Trump piss too

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:39

GobiasIndustries: Dec 14, 2007; Lipstick Apathy

Turdfuzz posted:

grats on saving a racist u must be v prowd of urself

I am tyvm, she got less racist as she got older, everyone can change even u Turdfuzz

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:39

Lastgirl: Sep 7, 1997; Good Morning!
Sunday Morning!

Yinlock posted:

and over here we have the flawlessly bred german shepard *dog limps on stage, calcifies, and blows away on the wind*

*judge nods and writes in notebook* very good pedigree

actually, they're trying to do lovely things to the german shepherd now, like trying to breed a lower hind legs that give the dogs back and hip problems in its later life and its torture on them

like they're deliberately trying to breed that trait because it's "pure" or w/e, its super nutty and im sure there's an analogy to be used here for eugenics for humanity

anyways, make sure that if you do get one, that its back and hindlegs are even and straight so you don't make the poor dog suffer, you bastards.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:40

GobiasIndustries: Dec 14, 2007; Lipstick Apathy

Yinlock posted:

pretty sure that dog had some bad experiences or turbo-racist owners beforehand then

Pretty sure a whole lot of racists had some turbo-racist parents growing up

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:40

big black turnout: Jan 13, 2009; Fallen Rib

Turdfuzz posted:

imagin bein named jace

it sounds like a lame mk character' sname

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:40

McGlockenshire: Dec 16, 2005; GOLLOCKS!

guys

guys

https://twitter.com/petersterne/status/831697757161259008
https://twitter.com/jonrosenberg/status/831698349812228097
obama knew

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:40

octobernight: Nov 25, 2004; High Priest of the Christian-Atheist Church

HorseRenoir posted:

that's a blood red district that voted for Trump by 29 percentage points

https://twitter.com/Taniel/status/831730352192360448

going from a 29% margin to a 6% margin in under four months is no bueno

Not really. The House seat only went R by 1% in 2012. All this really shows is that nothing matters. Kansas still votes GOP after blowing up the state, and America will still go Trump after blowing up America. Hell, the Pennsylvania Syrian family that voted Trump had their refugee cousins rejected from entering via the refugee program still said they supported Trump, even after they basically spent their lifesavings to bring them to the US. Trump could personally poo poo in a GOP voter's mouth and they will eat that poo poo up.

The only hope is to let Trump kill all the red staters so the census could give California an extra 100+ EC votes.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:40

Fuck You And Diebold: Sep 15, 2004; by Athanatos

GobiasIndustries posted:

Pretty sure a whole lot of racists had some turbo-racist parents growing up

we should stop turbo racist parents from having kids until we can figure out whats goin on

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:41

Yinlock: Oct 22, 2008

this line of dalmations has been traced back a hundred years, its been perfectly bred to-*dog erupts into green cloud of deadly neurotoxin*

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:41

Anime Schoolgirl: Nov 28, 2002

Lastgirl posted:

actually, they're trying to do lovely things to the german shepherd now, like trying to breed a lower hind legs that give the dogs back and hip problems in its later life and its torture on them

like they're deliberately trying to breed that trait because it's "pure" or w/e, its super nutty and im sure there's an analogy to be used here for eugenics for humanity

anyways, make sure that if you do get one, that its back and hindlegs are even and straight so you don't make the poor dog suffer, you bastards.

hahahahahah i want to take an axe to those people

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:41

Tonetta: Jul 9, 2013; look mother look at ME MOTHER MOTHER I AM A HOMESTIXK NOW

**methodically removes and eats own clothes*

redneck nazgul posted:

nah this is magic the gathering: old ravnica block

see, you had twelve guilds that signed this big important document that gave all the guilds their own poo poo and told them to stop loving with each other, and then ten thousand years later, everything's gone to poo poo because everybody forgot to stop stepping on each others' dicks

but there was one guild bound by secrecy for the sole purpose of breaking the pact because hey, gotta keep things proper

so when everyone stepped on each others' dicks, the spooky doesnt exist guild came out with spies and played all the guilds against each other, ended up breaking the document anyway because poo poo, ten thousand years without rewriting it was loving horseshit

then, the pact thoroughly broken, the spook guild became public knowledge and everyone went "oh yeah, they're okay too, don't step on their dick either" and everyone lived happily ever after

Reading this post I thought I clicked on the autism thread

I did

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:41

Tainen: Jan 23, 2004

McGlockenshire posted:

guys

guys

https://twitter.com/petersterne/status/831697757161259008
https://twitter.com/jonrosenberg/status/831698349812228097
obama knew

Thanks obama.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:42

Yinlock: Oct 22, 2008

McGlockenshire posted:

obama knew

holy poo poo

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:42

Hodgepodge: Jan 29, 2006; Can't post for 200 days!

Turdfuzz posted:

imagin bein named jace

There was a kid at the store I used to play at named Jace.

It was pretty perfect for him. One match was kind of awkward because I wasn't sure how to tell him he took too much speed before the tourney.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:42

M_Gargantua: Oct 16, 2006; STOMP'N ON INTO THE POWERLINES; Exciting Lemon

just how racist is turbo-racist anyway? do I want to find out?

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:42

GobiasIndustries: Dec 14, 2007; Lipstick Apathy

gently caress You And Diebold posted:

we should stop turbo racist parents from having kids until we can figure out whats goin on

If we could get this exact language on an Executive Order I would be so happy

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:42

Tonetta: Jul 9, 2013; look mother look at ME MOTHER MOTHER I AM A HOMESTIXK NOW

**methodically removes and eats own clothes*

McGlockenshire posted:

guys

guys

https://twitter.com/petersterne/status/831697757161259008
https://twitter.com/jonrosenberg/status/831698349812228097
obama knew

Mods knew

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:43

logikv9: Mar 5, 2009; Ham Wrangler

Tainen posted:

Thanks obama.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:43

Yinlock: Oct 22, 2008

M_Gargantua posted:

just how racist is turbo-racist anyway? do I want to find out?

turbo racism is like normal racism except it makes your dog want to kill black people

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:43

SKULL.GIF: Jan 20, 2017

quote:

Roses are red,
Rubles are blue,
Michael Flynn's a traitor,
And I'll bet POTUS is, too.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:44

BgRdMchne: Oct 31, 2011

i've seen some really racist dogs that would growl and try to bite any black person around. their owners were racist pieces of poo poo, too, so they prolly just trained the dogs that way

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:44

The Glumslinger: Sep 24, 2008; Coach Nagy, you want me to throw to WHAT side of the field?; Hair Elf

So I guess this is why Obama has been relaxed on vacation, he knew the deep state was ready to turn on Trump ASAP and that they had the good stuff

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:44

Fuck You And Diebold: Sep 15, 2004; by Athanatos

M_Gargantua posted:

just how racist is turbo-racist anyway? do I want to find out?

u ever tried bein racist....
on meth?

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:44

19 o'clock: Sep 9, 2004; Excelsior!!!

Does anyone have the image with the mega-rad 90's kid giving a thumbs up against the depressed crying person with the same text on each side? Something to the effect of, "Life is pointless, nothing matters"? I love it and need it handy in explaining the two ways of living through this administration.

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:44

Lastgirl: Sep 7, 1997; Good Morning!
Sunday Morning!

Yinlock posted:

this line of dalmations has been traced back a hundred years, its been perfectly bred to-*dog erupts into green cloud of deadly neurotoxin*

and here you will see that the infamous Tibetian Mastiff, well known for his monstrous size and illustrious thick mane designed for cold temper- *gets hit by its thick tail and tumbles down the Himalayan*

Anime Schoolgirl posted:

hahahahahah i want to take an axe to those people

me too. Me too. They imo are THE problem in this world.

McGlockenshire posted:

obama knew

Obama kept casting Holy in December didn't he? on ACA and now this~ gat d*ng

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:45

SKULL.GIF: Jan 20, 2017

redneck nazgul posted:

nah this is magic the gathering: old ravnica block

see, you had twelve guilds that signed this big important document that gave all the guilds their own poo poo and told them to stop loving with each other, and then ten thousand years later, everything's gone to poo poo because everybody forgot to stop stepping on each others' dicks

but there was one guild bound by secrecy for the sole purpose of breaking the pact because hey, gotta keep things proper

so when everyone stepped on each others' dicks, the spooky doesnt exist guild came out with spies and played all the guilds against each other, ended up breaking the document anyway because poo poo, ten thousand years without rewriting it was loving horseshit

then, the pact thoroughly broken, the spook guild became public knowledge and everyone went "oh yeah, they're okay too, don't step on their dick either" and everyone lived happily ever after

was this orzhov or izzet

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:45

Yinlock: Oct 22, 2008

GobiasIndustries posted:

Pretty sure a whole lot of racists had some turbo-racist parents growing up

it's way more excusable when you're a dog and incapable of reasoning beyond OH BOY though

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:45

paranoid randroid: Mar 4, 2007

turbo racism is that guy from Redline dropping a red pill into a slot and then he presses a button and gets flung back in his seat as a bunch of A Wyatt Mann drawings start flying out of his cars exhaust

# ? Feb 15, 2017 06:45