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Squashy Nipples
Aug 18, 2007

If you want the stupid easy version, dump pork chops and a jar of apple sauce into a slow cooker and hit the go button.

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Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

Gyshall posted:

Oh man, my grandmother made the best Pork & Sauerkraut with apples.

Also this is pretty much guaranteed to make you fart up a storm, so be prepared.

I wanted something work-friendly but this will be fun on a friday. Thunderdome!

22 Eargesplitten
Oct 10, 2010



Eeyo posted:

Well I think any yogurt will be acidic. It is produced through fermentation by lactobacilllus and thermophilus bacteria, which consumes milk stuff and produces lactic acid, giving yogurt its characteristic tang.

gently caress me. Every single thing I think about making for lunch is in some way acidic. I might just make a chicken caesar and go light on the dressing.

At least this is going to make my "lose weight" goal easier. :smith:

edit: How should I season chicken for a chicken caesar? Just salt and pepper?

22 Eargesplitten fucked around with this message at 20:24 on Feb 26, 2015

Rockzilla
Feb 19, 2007

Squish!
I've got a sourdough starter that I made about 4-5 months ago and have been feeding twice a week. It's pretty awesome and I don't want it to die when I'm on vacation for two weeks. Will freezing kill it or can I leave it in the fridge untouched for two weeks without it dying?

Adult Sword Owner
Jun 19, 2011

u deserve diploma for sublime comedy expertise
Fridge it.

In fact IIRC you should just fridge it no matter what and you won't have to feed it, but someone can correct me if I'm a yeast abuser.

Nostalgia4Dogges
Jun 18, 2004

Only emojis can express my pure, simple stupidity.

Hit me with your favorite lazy crockpot concoctions. Trying to make meals for the week on Sunday

ExecuDork
Feb 25, 2007

We might be fucked, sir.
Fallen Rib

Nostalgia4Dicks posted:

Hit me with your favorite lazy crockpot concoctions. Trying to make meals for the week on Sunday
Wandered in here to ask about chickens, but goddam do I love crockpot cooking.

Right now I've got a whole chicken in the slow cooker with (all chopped up) a sweet potato, an onion, about 1.5 stalks of celery, 3 carrots, and some garlic. We rubbed a mixture of ground black pepper and garlic on the chicken before we put it in. Assembly was 1/3 of the veg, then the rubbed bird, then the rest of the veg. Turn on Low, walk away. We've done similar to this before, it works very well.
We (my GF and I) have been trying to use the slow cooker at least once a week; we bought a new one (bigger! on sale!) a couple of weeks ago so we're re-energized on this. The basic idea most of the time is what we did today with the chicken - chop up a bunch of vegetables, throw in a big chunk of meat, put it on low and come home to a fantastic-smelling apartment. We like to buy big beef and pork roasts - the cheaper the per-pound cost the better - cut them into 2-to-4-serving-size pieces (e.g. 5-pound beef inside round roast cut into 3 parts), and freeze them. I've never tried frozen meat in a slow cooker, I suspect it would not be good, so we defrost the day before and then chop up the vegetables in the morning, drop everything in, and enjoy 8 or 10 hours later.

I had good luck with a Chicken Adobo recipe I found on-line somewhere, and literally everything we've put in has come out great. Slow cookers seem pretty idiot-proof, though to be honest we're still cooking at the novice level with this thing, we haven't tried anything very complex or really exotic, yet. Almost everything we've done has included the Holy Trinity of slow-cooker-cooking: onion, celery, carrots. Garlic almost always ends up in there, too, but the Holy Quadrilogy sounds stupid. Bone-in or boneless doesn't really matter, meat just falls off of bones instantly. The last time we did a whole chicken in the slow cooker I accidentally ripped it in half - approximately light meat from dark meat - when I pulled it out of the crock with tongs. Pork roasts with the bone in also just collapse. Skin and gristly stuff stays intact, so you can pull those things out if you want to avoid them.

Just make a series of stews, they're impossible to screw up. Beef + potatoes + (the big four) + a bit of broth. Beef + peppers + canned tomatoes + onion + celery. Chicken + (the big four) + sweet potato. Pork + bacon (because pig x pig is good) + apples + (the big four). Pork + BBQ sauce + canned tomatoes. That last one is essentially pulled-pork if you shred it with forks (or some better, more authentically southern method) when it's done.

If you're a person who gets up early (-ish) on Sundays anyway you could easily get two loads through the slow cooker. Most recipes let you run it on high for 4-5 hours instead of low for 8+. Horseradish goes well with everything.

Squashy Nipples posted:

If you want the stupid easy version, dump pork chops and a jar of apple sauce into a slow cooker and hit the go button.
I'm going to have to try this.

***
Back to my question: What's the difference between "roaster" and "fryer" chickens? The last time we were at the grocery store, we bought one of each, both frozen. The roaster is a little bigger, about 4.8 lbs, while the fryer is around 4.5. Is there some size at which a chicken becomes a roaster? Are they different breeds, or different ages when slaughtered? Google provides some info and I think the answer is "different sizes, different ages". Can somebody confirm?

A few years ago we put large 1/4 chickens given to us by farmer friends in the slow cooker; I think these were old birds - like former egg-laying hens - because the meat was very firm and tough (though the slow cooker took care of that) and had a very interesting flavour. What would you call a year-old (or older) chicken?

Drifter
Oct 22, 2000

Belated Bear Witness
Soiled Meat

ExecuDork posted:

Wandered in here to ask about chickens, but goddam do I love crockpot cooking.

***
Back to my question: What's the difference between "roaster" and "fryer" chickens?


Different ages, different average sizes. Fryers are, like, 8 weeks old and 2 to 4 pounds, while roasters are between 5 and 8 months, and between 4 to 6 or so pounds. I think my numbers might be slightly wrong.

The ages determine the standard method of preparation. For most things, roasters and fryers are functionally the same, just with slight differences in fat levels and whatnot. Stew chickens and older models like roosters might require a slower method of cooking.

I forget the name of castrated chickens, but I think because of the hormonal lack of change, they are more tender for their age than normal ones.

Drifter fucked around with this message at 01:12 on Feb 27, 2015

Dead Of Winter
Dec 17, 2003

It's morning again in America.

Drifter posted:

I forget the name of castrated chickens, but I think because of the hormonal lack of change, they are more tender for their age than normal ones.

Capons, and you'd be correct.

Drifter
Oct 22, 2000

Belated Bear Witness
Soiled Meat

Dead Of Winter posted:

Capons, and you'd be correct.

Are Capons also then labeled as roasters or fryers or whatever, or are they generally only slaughtered at one range of ages?

Mr. Wiggles
Dec 1, 2003

We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.
Only labeled as capons and they command a premium.

PRADA SLUT
Mar 14, 2006

Inexperienced,
heartless,
but even so
I moved into a new apartment, but it's actually a renovated hotel room. As such, I lack a kitchen and am wondering what sorts of meals I would be able to easily make.

For appliances, I have:
Rice cooker
Slow cooker
Water boiler
Microwave
Refrigerator / Freezer

I have a knife and can do minor prep work.

I've been making a lot of beans/rice/hippie bowls, stews, curries, and some slow cooked meats over rice. Any other ideas of things to try?

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat
Get an induction cooktop and a large toaster oven and you're ready to rock as if nothing happened

Rand alPaul
Feb 3, 2010

by Nyc_Tattoo
I'm making fried bologna sandwiches tomorrow, I had the butcher slice it 1/4 inch thick. Should I make cuts in the center or on the edges so it doesn't curl up while cooking?

Apoffys
Sep 5, 2011
I have a bunch of off-cut lamb chops of varying thickness (got them for free), can I just toss them in the crockpot in a stew and remove the bones towards the end?

Rap Game Goku
Apr 2, 2008

Word to your moms, I came to drop spirit bombs


Rand alPaul posted:

I'm making fried bologna sandwiches tomorrow, I had the butcher slice it 1/4 inch thick. Should I make cuts in the center or on the edges so it doesn't curl up while cooking?

Every time I've ever had fried bologna it was cut so it would lay flat.

Cavenagh
Oct 9, 2007

Grrrrrrrrr.

Apoffys posted:

I have a bunch of off-cut lamb chops of varying thickness (got them for free), can I just toss them in the crockpot in a stew and remove the bones towards the end?

You can. But Lamb chops are best rare, and crock pots are masters at drying such things out.

Hecuba
Jul 20, 2005

What we do is invent our images. And we build them.

Bob Morales posted:

So what's up with pork and apples? Any suggested recipe? I hear it is quite the tasty combination.

What I've been doing a lot during this hellishly cold winterpocalypse is something along the lines of the following: Sear off a couple of well-seasoned thick pork chops in a cast-iron skillet, then remove and sautee one small-medium onion per chop (adding a little oil if needed) until browned in the drippings, then add one sliced apple per chop and a fistful of roughly chopped garlic into the mix. Let that soften up, then add a tablespoon or so of mustard, big pinch of dried thyme and a generous glug of sherry into the pan. (My pan's seasoning is pretty substantial so I don't fuss about the acid from the alcohol, but you could do it on stainless or make it a point to re-season afterward if you're worried.) Stir in a pat of cold butter after the sauce is syrupy, then perch the chops back on top and finish them in a low oven. Serve with a big hunk of crusty bread. :getin:

Apoffys posted:

I have a bunch of off-cut lamb chops of varying thickness (got them for free), can I just toss them in the crockpot in a stew and remove the bones towards the end?

I actually haven't tried this recipe myself, but have been wanting to for years. Looks like it could be useful for your purposes: https://www.amateurgourmet.com/2012/05/the-best-curry-of-your-life.html#more-8411

Apoffys
Sep 5, 2011

Cavenagh posted:

You can. But Lamb chops are best rare, and crock pots are masters at drying such things out.

Guess I'll give it a try then, getting them rare would be way more trouble than they're worth since they're all different thicknesses and most are very thin.

Hecuba posted:

I actually haven't tried this recipe myself, but have been wanting to for years. Looks like it could be useful for your purposes: https://www.amateurgourmet.com/2012/05/the-best-curry-of-your-life.html#more-8411

Thanks, I'll have to try that recipe (if I can find lime leaves and cilantro roots anywhere), it looks delicious.

Jan
Feb 27, 2008

The disruptive powers of excessive national fecundity may have played a greater part in bursting the bonds of convention than either the power of ideas or the errors of autocracy.

Apoffys posted:

Guess I'll give it a try then, getting them rare would be way more trouble than they're worth since they're all different thicknesses and most are very thin.

You have a prime cut of meat like lamb chops and you would stick that in a slow cooker?

:negative:

That recipe uses lamb shoulder, not chops. Please don't murder these delicious chops.

Cavenagh
Oct 9, 2007

Grrrrrrrrr.

Apoffys posted:

Guess I'll give it a try then, getting them rare would be way more trouble than they're worth since they're all different thicknesses and most are very thin.




Nope, they're worth all the trouble. If they're too thin to sear, tartare them. Don't condemn them to a slow cooker.

Nicol Bolas
Feb 13, 2009
Frying up a thin lamb chops in a screaming hot pan is faster and easier than any crock pot bs, and it will come out tender and tasty instead of tough and sad. Don't make the ghost of your baby sheep cry. Crock potting them would be a travesty, and it will not produce a good stew.

Apoffys
Sep 5, 2011
Oh very well then, I'll spare them the crockpot. I dug them out of the freezer and had another look at them, and they weren't as thin as I remembered, so I should be able to make something decent with them. While poking around the freezer I also found a couple of small lamb tenderloins, anyone got a favourite recipe to share for either them or the chops?

Jan
Feb 27, 2008

The disruptive powers of excessive national fecundity may have played a greater part in bursting the bonds of convention than either the power of ideas or the errors of autocracy.
I'm partial to a simple mustard and rosemary seasoning.

tweet my meat
Oct 2, 2013

yospos
Does anyone have a good recommendation for a Mapo Tofu recipe? I've been seeing it everywhere it seems and it sounds tasty as hell. The simpler the better since I've never really messed with a lot of the stuff involved in it.

paraquat
Nov 25, 2006

Burp

Sergeant_Crunch posted:

Does anyone have a good recommendation for a Mapo Tofu recipe? I've been seeing it everywhere it seems and it sounds tasty as hell. The simpler the better since I've never really messed with a lot of the stuff involved in it.

Go to the OP in the chinese food thread, it has fuchsia dunlops recipe with gravity's adjustments written in it. It rocks

Drifter
Oct 22, 2000

Belated Bear Witness
Soiled Meat
Speaking of chinese food, I remember my mom sending me an email or a couple of articles about how Tofu contains estrogen and that it may not be as healthy for you as you think, or something.

Is there anything to that, or is it one of those studies along the likes of Rats who eat Aspartame* die, and so will you! *in amounts over twice their bodyweight each day? It seems a little ridiculous given how much of the world eats it without bursting into flames.

Paper With Lines
Aug 21, 2013

The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!
I'm going to roast a chicken for the first time this weekend however I don't have a roasting pan, which every respectable recipe calls for (I'm using Thomas Keller's or this one from America's test kitchen.)

When I have roasted other things in the past, I've put it on an oven safe grid (like a cooling rack) over my cast iron pan and that has worked fantastically.

Will that work with a roast chicken (besides the second recipe I linked, of course).

OBAMNA PHONE
Aug 7, 2002
Yes a wire rack works well, also consider that you can spatchcock the chicken and it will cook more evenly and faster.

http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2010/05/butterflied-roasted-chicken-with-quick-jus-recipe.html

Paper With Lines
Aug 21, 2013

The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!

BraveUlysses posted:

Yes a wire rack works well, also consider that you can spatchcock the chicken and it will cook more evenly and faster.

http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2010/05/butterflied-roasted-chicken-with-quick-jus-recipe.html

Fantastic. Thanks. I'll check out that Kenji recipe too.

Jan
Feb 27, 2008

The disruptive powers of excessive national fecundity may have played a greater part in bursting the bonds of convention than either the power of ideas or the errors of autocracy.

Drifter posted:

Speaking of chinese food, I remember my mom sending me an email or a couple of articles about how Tofu contains estrogen and that it may not be as healthy for you as you think, or something.

Fwd: Fwd [ Fwd: 7 weird facts about soy products! #3 WILL BLOW YOUR MIND! ]

Absolutely no merit.

Plant estrogen in the amounts present in soybeans is not metabolized to any significant degree. And testosterone is basically a strong anti-estrogen so there's basically no chance of it registering unless you're on prostate meds or something.

ChetReckless
Sep 16, 2009

That is precisely the thing to do, Avatar.
I'll usually roast a chicken spatchcocked in a big cast iron pan. I'll throw some veggies (onion, carrots, celery) underneath as a 'rack'. As long as they aren't exposed they generally don't burn and they can contribute to a gravy afterwards. Throw some garlic cloves and half a lemon in there too.

Spatchcocking a turkey is pretty great too, and a good next step after you've done a couple of chickens.

Casu Marzu
Oct 20, 2008

Drifter posted:

Speaking of chinese food, I remember my mom sending me an email or a couple of articles about how Tofu contains estrogen and that it may not be as healthy for you as you think, or something.

Is there anything to that, or is it one of those studies along the likes of Rats who eat Aspartame* die, and so will you! *in amounts over twice their bodyweight each day? It seems a little ridiculous given how much of the world eats it without bursting into flames.

I mean, Asian people have been eating it for a couple millennium now. And with the couple billion of them, I'd think if it were A Thing, it would be noticeable.

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat
The only thing that gave me breasts was drinking too much Coke

Jan
Feb 27, 2008

The disruptive powers of excessive national fecundity may have played a greater part in bursting the bonds of convention than either the power of ideas or the errors of autocracy.

Steve Yun posted:

The only thing that gave me breasts was drinking too much Coke

Or drinking too much milk.

:downsrim:

Flash Gordon Ramsay
Sep 28, 2004

Grimey Drawer

Casu Marzu posted:

I mean, Asian people have been eating it for a couple millennium now. And with the couple billion of them, I'd think if it were A Thing, it would be noticeable.

I remember a big brouhaha in this forum years ago because someone posited that soy beans are why Asian women have small breasts.

ExecuDork
Feb 25, 2007

We might be fucked, sir.
Fallen Rib

Cavenagh posted:

You can. But Lamb chops are best rare, and crock pots are masters at drying such things out.

I've never done lamb chops (or pork chops) in a slow cooker, but my experiences have all been very wet. Last night's chicken was half-submerged at the end, even though we added no liquid at all. The water presumably came from the bird and the veg (sweet potato, carrots, celery, onion), if you put lamb chops in with nothing else do they dry out?
Seriously, everything that's come out of my slow cooker has been as far away from tough and dry as possible. Last night's chicken collapsed into halves on the serving platter. We "carved" it with serving tongs, just grab and a big chunk comes off.

baquerd
Jul 2, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

ExecuDork posted:

I've never done lamb chops (or pork chops) in a slow cooker, but my experiences have all been very wet. Last night's chicken was half-submerged at the end, even though we added no liquid at all. The water presumably came from the bird and the veg (sweet potato, carrots, celery, onion), if you put lamb chops in with nothing else do they dry out?
Seriously, everything that's come out of my slow cooker has been as far away from tough and dry as possible. Last night's chicken collapsed into halves on the serving platter. We "carved" it with serving tongs, just grab and a big chunk comes off.

What brand? I have an official "Crock-Pot" brand that dries the gently caress out of everything unless I watch it very carefully and temp it (which defeats the point of course).

Ra-amun
Feb 25, 2011
Anybody got a good menudo recipe?

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Cavenagh
Oct 9, 2007

Grrrrrrrrr.

ExecuDork posted:

I've never done lamb chops (or pork chops) in a slow cooker, but my experiences have all been very wet. Last night's chicken was half-submerged at the end, even though we added no liquid at all. The water presumably came from the bird and the veg (sweet potato, carrots, celery, onion), if you put lamb chops in with nothing else do they dry out?
Seriously, everything that's come out of my slow cooker has been as far away from tough and dry as possible. Last night's chicken collapsed into halves on the serving platter. We "carved" it with serving tongs, just grab and a big chunk comes off.


It's the nature of the cut of meat. Chops are generally lean and lean meats do not do well in a slow cooker. That's why you'll never see a Crock Pot Pulled Pork that calls for Pork Loin instead of shoulder. Unless it's from an utter idiot. Then you'll see it. A Slow Cooker isn't some magical device, it's a small oven with limited temperature settings that only lends itself to low and slow braising. If the cut of meat you want to cook is best seared, then it doesn't go into the slow cooker.

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