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Sgt. Politeness
Sep 29, 2003

I've seen shit you people wouldn't believe. Cop cars on fire off the shoulder of I-94. I watched search lights glitter in the dark near the Ambassador Bridge. All those moments will be lost in time, like piss in the drain. Time to retch.
Yes.

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Mr. Lobe
Feb 23, 2007

... Dry bones...


Frankly I prefer bottoming, but I would hate to be thought of as anything other than an indulgent lover

Lawrence Gilchrist
Mar 31, 2010

Started as a bottom, now my whole team suckin' here

2nd Amendment
Jun 9, 2022

by Pragmatica
I've done the whole "human toilet" thing and sometimes it involves sucking dick.

remigious
May 13, 2009

Destruction comes inevitably :rip:

Hell Gem
To keep a husband happy you just gotta suck that dick. Secrets to a happy marriage :)

Baxter
Sep 13, 2000
You'll just have to wait for my exciting tell-all autobiography to come out, tentatively titled "Well yes, of course".

Spinz
Jan 7, 2020

I ordered luscious new gemstones from India and made new earrings for my SA mart thread

Remember my earrings and art are much better than my posting

New stuff starts towards end of page 3 of the thread

remigious posted:

To keep a husband happy you just gotta suck that dick. Secrets to a happy marriage :)

Lol

So true

Huge Lady Pleaser
Jun 17, 2005

hello how r u doing im just looking for ppl 2 chill wit relax go out n have funn if ur looking for da same thing hit me up
Nap Ghost

insane anime posted:

Because I'm not gay? Isn't that sexist?

That doesn't make sense. Straight people have sex in missionary position, but they don't 'masturbate' in missionary position. Have you ever had sex?

Fair enough. I guess it isn't your job to educate me, but I don't understand how sucking a penis can be straight. It seems gay.

You've been lied to. It is gay.

For someone that claims to have never sucked a dick, you sure know a lot about whether sucking dicks is gay or not…

:ftbrg::dong:

PS: :quig:

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




very important to watch a lot of gay pornography when you’re straight, so you know what not to do

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Bad Purchase posted:

very important to watch a lot of gay pornography when you’re straight, so you know what not to do

:hmmyes:

Skeleton Ape
Dec 21, 2008



mailorder bees
Nov 4, 2011

FLUFFERNUTTER
the real question is have you ever sucked your own dick?

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

minecraft_holmes posted:

the real question is have you ever sucked your own dick?

The Bloop posted:

I tried but I can't reach

Papa Was A Video Toaster
Jan 9, 2011






:same:

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003



I'm getting sick of everything be telling me how short your weiner is

Confusedslight
Jan 9, 2020
I've been sucking dick for so long that it's strange to find myself in a situation where I'm not.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

if you are paying for it or are being paid it doesnt really count either

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003


Confusedslight posted:

I've been sucking dick for so long that it's strange to find myself in a situation where I'm not.

Hello

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

Smugworth posted:

I'm getting sick of everything be telling me how short your weiner is

It's more that I used to be fat


I haven't tried recently..... 🤔

Ratios and Tendency
Apr 23, 2010

:swoon: MURALI :swoon:


minecraft_holmes posted:

the real question is have you ever sucked your own dick?

Tried once but perforated my cornea. never again.

Horace Kinch
Aug 15, 2007

minecraft_holmes posted:

the real question is have you ever sucked your own dick?

like the oroboros but instead of eating its tail it's deepthroating itself

SidneyIsTheKiller
Jul 16, 2019

I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter
in my grandmother's journal.

She wrote very detailed descriptions of her experiences...

syntaxfunction posted:

The idea that toys aren't for cock-carriers is fucken weird to me.

Well yeah it'd be weird, because 90% of sex toys aren't for cock-carriers, because a dick is already a sex toy in itself.

neato burrito
Aug 25, 2002

bitch better have my chex mix

I had a dream about suckin' a dick last night, what the hell? No, he didn't cum. It was very Dr. Manhattan like blue guy and I don't know how he got there.

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Smugworth Wuz Here

neato burrito posted:

I had a dream about suckin' a dick last night, what the hell? No, he didn't cum. It was very Dr. Manhattan like blue guy and I don't know how he got there.

Amatuer.

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

A Soft Nylon Bag
Doctor Manhattan cums as he pleases

Zil
Jun 4, 2011

Satanically Summoned Citrus


neato burrito posted:

I had a dream about suckin' a dick last night, what the hell? No, he didn't cum. It was very Dr. Manhattan like blue guy and I don't know how he got there.

You blew a smurf

SidneyIsTheKiller
Jul 16, 2019

I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter
in my grandmother's journal.

She wrote very detailed descriptions of her experiences...

Modulo16 posted:

Sometimes you have to suck a dick to find out you don’t like sucking dick.

Bloodfart McCoy posted:

Pretty sure that’s literally never happened.

Uh that actually happens quite a bit. Like most women and gay men have had the thought "hey I like getting head, giving it might be pretty hot too" and it's not until they try it before they know if they particularly care for it of not.

There's also a lot of confused straight guys who think they're gay just because they like to get their asses played with that find out the hard way that they are, in fact, straight as an arrow.

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
im not a security guard, cop, or a mod


so no i have not OP

Confusedslight
Jan 9, 2020
It will never not be funny that Dick is short for Richard and no one can tell me overwise.

Lawrence Gilchrist
Mar 31, 2010

Any other size queens up in hhere

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006


a few times, a bit overrated but i get the appeal

barmk ima dog lol
Apr 6, 2022
Not very many, but they were all healthy and 100% American (none of the weird, smelly bent-outta-shape European dicks :distonk:)

Wifi Toilet
Oct 1, 2004

Toilet Rascal
I'm not sure, how can I tell?

Yadoppsi
May 10, 2009

Grape posted:

Wait, what kind of degenerate fucks are running around out there referring to "liking fall weather" as basic bitch stuff.

Me. Winter is where it's at.

KennyMan666
May 27, 2010

The Saga

You better fuckin suckin believe it

Collapsing Farts
Jun 29, 2018

💀
I’m a top so I have both women and men be sucking my hog, sometimes at the same time

(Finding a cock hungry twink has to be the easiest thing in the world)

Collapsing Farts
Jun 29, 2018

💀
Men are so much sluttier its insane

Best Bi Geek Squid
Mar 25, 2016
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:
Do you suck ducks?

Private Gomer Pyle:
Sir, No, sir.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:
Bullshit. I bet you could suck a golfball through a garden hose.

Private Gomer Pyle:
Sir, No, sir.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

sometimes the dick sucks you

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Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

The champagne of Miller Drivers

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