|
cailleask posted:I've found charting to be super useful, too... but I'm the sort of person who likes to know every stupid thing my body is doing. I like that I have data and can make educated guesses, like if I'm going to have an anovulatory cycle, or knowing a few days in advance of when my period is due. This is pretty much why I installed the app, except instead of avoiding pregnancy, I'm now taking an active role in pursuing it!  Something I've noticed though. I know I'm only three months into trying, but my app is pretty spot on in predicting when I ovulate (physical symptoms line up with what the chart says, anyways) and when my period starts. It usually ends up that my husband and I try at the right times, but with no results so far. How long should we wait if this pattern keeps repeating itself to talk to our doctor about potential fertility issues? Speaking of timing, I was talking to my coworkers about my desire to "time things right" so I won't have to take much, if any, time off work (we're teachers). The men looked confused, the women high-fived and wish me luck.
|
#
?
Aug 18, 2013 19:57
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 9, 2024 01:55 |
|
|
nyerf posted:The take home message from which I gathered is this: all things being equal and perfect, and the sperm gets to the egg in time--you still only have a 1/4 chance of that instance of sperm meeting egg resulting in a baby. My plan is to not worry about pregnancy testing until after there's a missed period, and to absolutely not bank on the pregnancy proceeding until they scan me at 8 weeks in and find the embryo's measurements are in line, there's a strong heartbeat, and no other issues around the sac/placenta, and no bleeding. Yeah, this is why I don't want to tell anyone until 12 weeks, preferably 14 weeks, except for my best friend. My fiance was kind of butthurt that he didn't get to tell anyone, but I don't want to have to tell people I don't now very well that I had a miscarriage or whatever. I don't want them all up in my business! I was trying to explain to him the (approx) 25% probability, assuming things are timed perfectly, and that I am a private person. Personally, I am going to test early, even if it means knowing about a chemical I might not have known about otherwise. For me, I want to know that at least the sperm can meet the egg and I don't have a blockage or some other issue going on where they can't even meet. That would make a huge difference to me. Something Positive posted:This is pretty much why I installed the app, except instead of avoiding pregnancy, I'm now taking an active role in pursuing it! The general rule is: If you are under 35 one year, over 35 six months. Do you chart your temps? I have personally known at least one doctor who says that if you chart everything, and know your timing is good, and it has been six months you should see your doc, even if you are under 35. I don't know how common that is though and even still it's not unusual for it to take a year. Scenty fucked around with this message at 02:41 on Aug 19, 2013 |
|
#
?
Aug 19, 2013 02:39
|
|
|
My midwife encourages checking in with her after six months of properly timed sex with no conception too.
|
|
#
?
Aug 19, 2013 03:14
|
|
|
I started charting after an early miscarriage so I could know when I was ovulating again. I initially got pregnant my second month off of birth control. I was an unaware early tester. Since I had just come off of birth control, I didn't know I was going to have 35 day cycles. Even though it was very upsetting to me and my husband, it was nice to know our stuff worked, at least on a basic level. It also made us realize how much we really wanted a baby, so it helped with the patience thing. I'm 32 and even after I started actively trying, charting, ovulation tests and all, it took us another 7 months to fall pregnant again. I never could resist early testing and I never even got a faint positive again until the one that stuck.
|
|
#
?
Aug 19, 2013 04:36
|
|
|
I tested really early because it was just before a holiday where I wanted to drink. I hadn't even missed a period. It was so early the doctor didn't even want to see me for another month or so. I only told my husband because I knew it was so likely to not stick. And yet here we are, one year later baby sleeping beside me right now. I still don't quite believe!
|
|
#
?
Aug 19, 2013 11:47
|
|
|
The up shot to early testing is being able to limit your exposure to teratogens, such as alcohol. DwemerCog posted:I tested really early because it was just before a holiday where I wanted to drink. I hadn't even missed a period. It was so early the doctor didn't even want to see me for another month or so. I only told my husband because I knew it was so likely to not stick. And yet here we are, one year later baby sleeping beside me right now. I still don't quite believe! This is actually a good use of the sensitive test strips, because the primordial heart and what will become a brain/spinal chord is forming by 3 weeks. That is a delicate time for an embryo and one of the major time frames for morphological defects to develop. Except at this stage many are an all or nothing kind of development, either it goes right or the body senses the malformation and aborts the pregnancy.
|
|
#
?
Aug 19, 2013 12:21
|
|
|
Well I guess I'm going to post here bc I just need to vent. My wife and I have been trying to conceive for a year now. Shes 23 and I'm 29. She stopped taking her birth control in June 2012. We waited and waited and she never started her period. In October we finally went to the doctor and they ran blood tests, all blood came back normal but the doctor believed she may have pcos. They started her on provera to make her have a period and then 50mg clomid. We did this for a couple months with no real success. We decided then to try to chart temps and all that good stuff. The doctor did no follow up tests we just called after day 35 each time and they wrote a new prescription. Finally after about 6 months with no change we decided maybe we should get a second opinion. We went to a different doctor who did no testing but said they would be willing the up the dosage of clomid to 100mg. We've don't three cycles now on 100 still without a natural period and no real signs of ovulation, until this month. My wife had cramps around ovulation time and her opk got a positive for the first time. Since then she's had some symptoms, nausea and sore boobs. We started testing for pregnancy a few days ago and had negatives until today. Today is 11 DPO, and Today's pregnancy test had a very very faint half line. We both saw it. Luckily for us she already had a follow up at the doctor today. We explained the test and they acted like it was pregnancy no doubt, but we asked for a blood test to be sure. Well after waiting for hours being nervous and sick, we got a call, test was negative. Hcg less than 2. We're hoping a silver lining may be getting a period this month naturally. I also don't know if it is normal to be diagnosed PCOS with no positive labs, only real symptom is not having periods. She's not overweight at all really. I just wonder if they need to be doing ultrasounds or something. It's just been really disheartening and frustrating for both of us.
|
|
#
?
Aug 19, 2013 22:09
|
|
|
MDC505 posted:Well I guess I'm going to post here bc I just need to vent. I'm sorry you guys are going through this, a few things come to mind: 1) A positive test where only half the line is colored is considered a false positive. These are very rare and very frustrating. peestickparadise.com has more information on this phenomenon. 2) You don't have to be overweight to have PCOS. BUT! It seems very unusual to me that they haven't done an ultrasound. I would find a new doctor (if need be) and push for an ultrasound. If she does have PCOS they should be able to visualize the cysts on the ovaries, it can also look for other things. Another low-invasive test that could be a good starting point would be to have her hormone levels checked. Have they done this yet? Normally you go in at certain points during your cycle and they test FSH, progesterone, etc, to see if things are progressing. 3) It can take as long as a year for people to start ovulating normally after being on hormonal birth control. I hope you find your answers soon. Fingers crossed for you. Edit: I wanted to add though I work in the health field IANAD and this is info gathered from TCOYF and other sources. I think one of the posters here is an ultrasound tech so hopefully she can weigh in one whether an ultrasound would be helpful for you guys. Scenty fucked around with this message at 22:23 on Aug 19, 2013 |
|
#
?
Aug 19, 2013 22:20
|
|
|
Yeah that link looked awfully similar to what her test looked like, its very frustrating. I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds it odd that they haven't done any tests. They did lab work ONE time at the very beginning. No other testing has been done and we've gone to two different doctors now. We're in a relatively small town without many choices as far as doctors. I think we've decided to see a fertility specialist if she doesn't start her period this cycle.
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2013 02:25
|
|
|
What Scenty said. Hormone panel and pelvic ultrasound for her would have been medically logical steps (though I'm not a doctor either, just the ultrasound person in training who tends to get requests for ?PCOS) The problem with ultrasound is that while you can have very 'definitive appearances' of polycystic ovaries, it's something of a spectrum, and you need to tie in with blood tests to say for sure. Also, have you been tested yourself? She may be having fertility issues, but if you do too that's only going to compound the problem.
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2013 03:23
|
|
|
I haven't yet but I'm sure I will when we go to fertility doctor. We haven't been as worried about me bc before this month she wasn't having periods on her own or ovulating, so even with great swimmers it won't help without ovulation. This was the first month we've had a positive opk and a sustained temp spike, at least since we started tracking it.
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2013 03:30
|
|
|
Has she been tested for a thyroid disorder?
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2013 03:54
|
|
|
They tested her thyroid once when we first went to the doctor and it came back okay. However hypothyroid runs in her family and I'm going to see if they will retest it.
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2013 03:58
|
|
|
I would definitely get it rechecked and get the actual results, if you can. While it is slightly different for someone who is being treated for hypothyroidism already, my midwife wants to see a TSH around 1 for fertility purposes (and to help decrease the risk of early miscarriage).
|
|
#
?
Aug 20, 2013 04:02
|
|
|
You don't actually literally need cysts to have PCOS, they're a very common feature of PCOS but they are not required for a diagnosis and are not intrinsic to the syndrome. You can also have polycystic ovaries without having PCOS. They aren't actually the same thing. I have severe PCOS and don't have cysts often, whereas my mom's ovaries look like a bunch of grapes and she doesn't have PCOS at all. Hormone panel is pretty necessary for diagnosis though. They don't really need to many of them to say it's PCOS for sure (especially if you have other features demonstrating excess androgens), but I would really recommend having an endocrinologist take a look at her regardless. There's a lot to stay on top of when it comes to PCOS and they can direct you to fertility resources and can answer any questions you have about her PCOS (including ones not related to the pregnancy).
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2013 06:09
|
|
|
Brazilian Werewolf posted:You don't actually literally need cysts to have PCOS, they're a very common feature of PCOS but they are not required for a diagnosis and are not intrinsic to the syndrome. You can also have polycystic ovaries without having PCOS. They aren't actually the same thing. I have severe PCOS and don't have cysts often, whereas my mom's ovaries look like a bunch of grapes and she doesn't have PCOS at all. Basically what I was trying to get at re: the ultrasound. What an ultrasound might be able to say is whether there's something else going on that might be causing her to not have periods, like signs of cervical stenosis, or an ovarian tumour, or whatever. If everything is structurally unremarkable then it suggests that the docs need to chase the hormone issues more aggressively.
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2013 08:10
|
|
|
I'm making this post prematurely, but I'm curious for some perspective. What made you and your partner finally decide to take the plunge? Is it something you've always known you were going to do and you felt ready, or did you struggle with timing and fear before deciding to start trying? I'm about to turn 25, boyfriend is 27, marriage/kids is in our future, but not for at least another three years, as that's how long my IUD is good for. However, lately my body has developed this deep ache to have a baby RIGHT NOW, and as time passes, the more I think about it, and the closer it becomes to reality, the more nervous I get. There's all the "what ifs," what if something goes wrong, what if I suck at parenting, etc. But there's also such an urge to hold my baby in my arms and help a little person grow up in this world. I guess a lot of my fear stems from having a rough first 20 years of my life, and I don't want my children to go through what I went through. Did anyone else have fear about TTC? What was the deciding factor(s) that let you know you were finally ready? Also, why did you choose yours/your partner's age at which to start trying? My mom had me when she was 33, my boyfriend's mom had him when she was 35, and now the two of us have recently started life as young adults and we have parents that will retire in the next couple of years. This is going to sound really morbid, but I want our kids to know their grandparents and be able to have a lot of memories with them. I know that we shouldn't base having kids around trying to predict our parents' longevity, but at the same time, I don't want my kids to be fresh-faced young adults and have parents who are getting up there in years. Also at the same time, I want to travel and have fun and enjoy time with my boyfriend before having kids... This subject is something I think about a lot - when the time is right for us. How did you choose what was the right time for you?
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2013 11:32
|
|
|
We're both 29 and a year ago we both reached a point in our lives where we felt we were ready to consider being parents. I think I reached it a little earlier than him (being around a pregnant coworker the year before that), but he started the first conversation of "well, maybe I might be ready, I think". As to the what-if's of pregnancy, I was afraid of any disabilities a kid might have, but things like miscarriage and the like never even crossed my mind until I had one. It was devastating and traumatic, but less than two weeks after, we're ready to start again. We both had problems in our own childhoods, but I think we'll be great parents no matter what.
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2013 12:50
|
|
|
Koivunen posted:Wise words I totally relate to this and wanted to hear replies. Even the same age and the same deep baby ache and older parents who I fear will never get to know their grandchildren. Growing up with old parents made me feel strongly I didn't want to wait too long to have children so I could be physically active when they were little. My answer was I went to medical school so I'm too tired to even think about things I want in my personal life and get a stable well paid career out of it. I figure I'll (and my husband) will be totally ready once I'm done.
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2013 12:55
|
|
|
Koivunen posted:Also, why did you choose yours/your partner's age at which to start trying? My mom had me when she was 33, my boyfriend's mom had him when she was 35, and now the two of us have recently started life as young adults and we have parents that will retire in the next couple of years. This is going to sound really morbid, but I want our kids to know their grandparents and be able to have a lot of memories with them. I know that we shouldn't base having kids around trying to predict our parents' longevity, but at the same time, I don't want my kids to be fresh-faced young adults and have parents who are getting up there in years. Also at the same time, I want to travel and have fun and enjoy time with my boyfriend before having kids... This subject is something I think about a lot - when the time is right for us. How did you choose what was the right time for you? If it happens it happens. If not I'll just adopt another dog 
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2013 18:35
|
|
|
Esmerelda posted:So, later this year, the birth control stops and me freaking out about every little biological change starts! I'm an older mother too (35) and I found that periods took a while to restart after taking the pill so long. You might want to stop the birth control now if it is hormonal to give your cycles a chance to start again before you start trying in earnest.
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2013 19:06
|
|
|
Koivunen posted:Did anyone else have fear about TTC? What was the deciding factor(s) that let you know you were finally ready? Talk about fear! We have been ready to start TTC on and off for years now, but I always got afraid of something and decided to hold it off. "Let me finish more school first," "I want to lose more weight first," "Let's save more money first." These all stem from fears that I will fail, or that we will fail the child. What got me over it was talking to my friends who are parents. They basically said your life will never really feel ready for it, and there will always be goalposts you can keep moving, if you really want kids you just have to do it. Koivunen posted:Also, why did you choose yours/your partner's age at which to start trying? How did you choose what was the right time for you? I am 29 and my fiance is 30. Both of us always knew and agreed that we want kids. We chose this age because, I have one more year to go on my undergrad, and then I enter a Master's program. I know some people think it is crazy to try and have a kid while in school, but I talked to other women professors and advisers, and they all said the same thing. Grad school is THE BEST time to have a kid because your schedule is so crazy flexible, and if you do have them while in school when you enter the work force you don't have to take maternity leave. Of course this is different for med school (as noted above) or a similar program, but for us it's the right choice.
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2013 19:07
|
|
|
Koivunen posted:How did you choose what was the right time for you? I'm 30, husband 31. We just had a boy about 10 weeks ago. I went off BC and my period came back six weeks afterwards-- and I was on the pill for 11ish years. We conceived after that cycle... I wanted to wait for one cycle to go by so I could start charting and be sure of my dates. We wanted to be financially stable, do a lot of traveling, and be done with our masters degrees before trying. If there are big things in life like travel, school, starting a business, whatever that you want to do, do them before you have kids or be prepared to put them off for a long, long time. I can't imagine being in school while caring for a baby. Not at all. Being a parent is hard. Really hard.... Harder then I could have ever imagined when I was a non-parent.
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2013 19:41
|
|
|
I'm a PhD student with a 3 month old (my husband is also a PhD student). We picked now too have a baby for the reasons the previous poster gave. I want to have my kids already before seriously job hunting, take advantage of how flexible our schedules are now, and at 30 we just didn't want to keep waiting and risk dealing with fertility issues down the road. If we stay in academia we'll be close to 40 before having tenure, and having kids while pre-tenure seemed even less appealing than having them during grad school. It also helped that both of our advisors are very supportive and family oriented. Sometimes you just have to pick the least bad time. There is no perfect time.
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2013 19:48
|
|
|
A little positive news today. My wife started her period naturally for the first time in over a year! Now to wait it out and get back to trying.
|
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2013 21:56
|
|
|
Ceridwen posted:I'm a PhD student with a 3 month old (my husband is also a PhD student). We picked now too have a baby for the reasons the previous poster gave. I want to have my kids already before seriously job hunting, take advantage of how flexible our schedules are now, and at 30 we just didn't want to keep waiting and risk dealing with fertility issues down the road. If we stay in academia we'll be close to 40 before having tenure, and having kids while pre-tenure seemed even less appealing than having them during grad school. It also helped that both of our advisors are very supportive and family oriented. Sometimes you just have to pick the least bad time. There is no perfect time. Being 30 (or nearly) was a factor for us as well. We want to have 2 kids before I hit 35 and to do that we have to start now. Additionally, my school is a state University known for having a non-traditional student body. Many of the student have children, and they offer some killer resources for student parents. Personally, I have known 3 women get pregnant and continued to attend school no problem. Having a kid while in school is not for everyone, but it can be done. MDC505 posted:A little positive news today. My wife started her period naturally for the first time in over a year! Now to wait it out and get back to trying. Great news! Hopefully it was weirdness left over from being on hormonal birth control. I hope she has regular cycles from here on out, but if she doesn't remember to press for hormonal testing. Scenty fucked around with this message at 23:48 on Aug 21, 2013 |
|
#
?
Aug 21, 2013 23:45
|
|
|
I've always sort of set having kids as a 'before 30' goal; supposedly it lowers your risk of ovarian cancer. I'm 29 now, so we may make it in 'just under the wire'. Beyond that though, it's really just that a lot of things have fallen well into place. My fiancé got laid off earlier this year, so now he's taking time off to study and build up his skills and do some independent work. The intention is for me to remain working and for him to stay home, which suits both of us pretty well given our relative fields. Beyond that, though, I've always sort of known I wanted kids. It became more omg-baby-now when I turned 24 or so, but I've waited until I felt my life was stable enough and I had a supportive partner. If I didn't feel like we were totally ready to someday ruin a teenager's life, we would have kept waiting.
|
|
#
?
Aug 22, 2013 00:22
|
|
|
DwemerCog posted:I'm an older mother too (35) and I found that periods took a while to restart after taking the pill so long. You might want to stop the birth control now if it is hormonal to give your cycles a chance to start again before you start trying in earnest. I'm healthy otherwise right now but I know that won't always be the case so if it's going to happen it's probably going to have to happen in the next 9 months or so 
|
|
#
?
Aug 22, 2013 00:29
|
|
|
Esmerelda posted:I've only been on the hormonal BC for a year this time so I'm hopeful it won't take too long to adjust. We are both realistic about my chances of conceiving naturally and have decided what we're willing to go through/pay for and what we're not. I don't think your body just shuts down at the big 4-0. It's more of a gradual decline in fertility. I find the older I get, the longer it takes for periods to restart after the pill, no matter how long I've been taking it. You can use condoms until you are ready, but why not start now if you are sure? It'll probably take a few months at least. Your chances of conceiving are actually pretty high. The problem is the chance of birth defects gets much worse.
|
|
#
?
Aug 22, 2013 02:03
|
|
|
Scenty posted:
We decided to have them rerun the blood work at her next follow up, which is in two weeks actually, just to be safe. The doctor told us before that he thought if the meds could get her to ovulate that her cycles would normalize some. This is the first time she's ovulated and she's now started her period so hopefully he will be right.
|
|
#
?
Aug 22, 2013 06:37
|
|
|
[quote="DwemerCog" post=""418672998"] You can use condoms until you are ready, but why not start now if you are sure? It'll probably take a few months at least. [/quote] Definitely use another form of birth control until you're actually ready to get pregnant. Everything I read and heard emphasised how long it could take to get pregnant after quitting the pill, but for us it happened immediately, after being on the pill non stop for 14 years, leading to a nauseous booze-less three week honeymoon. I love the little squirt to bits, but I wish we could've had more time together as newlyweds before she arrived.
|
|
#
?
Aug 22, 2013 10:03
|
|
|
DwemerCog posted:I don't think your body just shuts down at the big 4-0. It's more of a gradual decline in fertility. I find the older I get, the longer it takes for periods to restart after the pill, no matter how long I've been taking it. You can use condoms until you are ready, but why not start now if you are sure? It'll probably take a few months at least. My prescription refills run out in October, that's probably when we'll just let it lapse and see what happens. My boyfriend is far more relaxed about this than I am. It's annoying.
|
|
#
?
Aug 22, 2013 16:10
|
|
|
I'm finally posting here after lurking for months. My husband and I are on our first cycle of trying to have a baby. It's pretty exciting but all of the waiting sucks! My period is due Friday but I took an early pregnancy test and it said negative, I know there's a small chance but I'm not too optimistic. We'll see! I've never been on hormonal birth control and my periods are regular every month so hopefully that will go in my favor. I also had a pre-conception visit and a physical (& saw the dentist) and everything is good to go. I've also been taking folic acid for months so I hope I've got all of my bases covered. Anyway, just wanted to introduce myself and good luck to everyone trying!
|
|
#
?
Aug 25, 2013 23:18
|
|
|
Koivunen posted:How did you choose what was the right time for you? I can finally post in this thread as well! I am 28 and my husband is 34 and we got married in March of 2012. We talked alot about when would be the right time for us. I had to finish nursing school, he wanted a better position with his job and we just wanted to spend time with just us enjoying being married. I stopped using my Nuvaring in May and we haven't had any luck yet. All I have been doing is using an app on my phone and just having sex around my ovulation. I was supposed to start my period on Wednesday and I did spot for a day but then it just stopped. I'm going to give it a few more days before I take a test (which is killing me).
|
|
#
?
Aug 26, 2013 02:33
|
|
|
Good luck Joellypie! Hopefully you've just had implant bleeding. I know it's 'totally normal' but now I've had two anovulatory cycles since my miscarriage six weeks ago. This sucks. It's very hard to get down to baby makin' when my body refuses to kick out some eggs already!
|
|
#
?
Aug 26, 2013 02:46
|
|
|
Turns out I am the chicken little of anovulation. I had two positive pregnancy tests on Saturday, and one on Sunday. First prenatal visit is on October 2. I'm freaked out...and getting a little excited.
|
|
#
?
Aug 26, 2013 17:51
|
|
|
Well, looks like I spoke a day too soon. I started about 3 hours after I posted (karma maybe?) and that now puts my cycle 6 weeks apart. I really didn't want to have to buy an ovulation kit, but looks like I am going to have to. I was hoping I would be like my mom and sister. All three of my mom's kids are birthcontrol babies. My sister got knocked up in highschool not trying (but not on birthcontrol either), for her second one she had her IUD removed and got pregnant the following month. I feel bad for my husband because he has to deal with me being all sad and I'm scared I might start stressing him out about it. I keep trying to remind myself it has only been a few months and there are people out there that try for years so I don't get to complain yet. Joellypie fucked around with this message at 23:42 on Aug 26, 2013 |
|
#
?
Aug 26, 2013 23:37
|
|
|
I'm going in my for my post d&c 2 week follow up. I feel perfectly healthy now - it took just over a week for all the symptoms of pregnancy and the surgery to get over with, but now I'm stressing out, worrying that it will take another year to get pregnant again, and what if I lose the next one, too. It would be nice if there was more info out there, but it seems like there are so few studies on miscarriages - much less missed miscarriages.
|
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2013 14:14
|
|
|
Joellypie posted:Well, looks like I spoke a day too soon. I started about 3 hours after I posted (karma maybe?) and that now puts my cycle 6 weeks apart. I really didn't want to have to buy an ovulation kit, but looks like I am going to have to. I was hoping I would be like my mom and sister. All three of my mom's kids are birthcontrol babies. My sister got knocked up in highschool not trying (but not on birthcontrol either), for her second one she had her IUD removed and got pregnant the following month. Conception seems to work according to Sod's law, so those who really don't want to get pregnant, can do so through 3 different types of birth control, and those that do want to take months. To take advantage of this, book a vacation in New Orleans (city of booze and smoking in bars) for two months time and keep saying to people "Gosh, I really hope I don't get pregnant for the next two months at least."
|
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2013 14:27
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 9, 2024 01:55 |
|
|
In the middle of my husband and I trying we both got laid off. It would have been hilarious if that's when I got knocked up.
|
|
#
?
Aug 27, 2013 14:59
|
|
