Captain Invictus posted:

Goons describing the many, varied, ridiculous bugs in dwarf fortress will never not be incredible.

Tashilicious posted:

why would they patch this out

Super Waffle posted:

naem posted:

fun story- my national guard unit had been doing our two week annual training, out in the woods in bfe for most of the two weeks, sleeping rough, hadn’t had showers or warm meals for most of a week at that point as we drove around in humvees pretending to shoot at each other etc. whatever was it was we training for that day

they called us in for a warm breakfast- metal trays piled high with like, scrambled eggs, waffles with real fake maple syrup, fruit cocktail, actual hot food in abundance.

everyone’s kind gross looking and happy as gently caress about hot food, standing in line to get it then standing off to one side, chatting and laughing and munching on real actual food, not pretending that bad guys might attack

everyone was SUPPOSED to be wearing all their web-gear (suspender based canteens and pouches and etc etc) including gas masks at all times but a lot had abandoned all that as we lined up for breakfast.

anyways someone yelled GAS and dropped an actual tear-gas grenade in the middle of our group.

what was SUPPOSED to happen was a team of highly trained and motivated high speed solders would drop their delicious trays of grub to the the leaf lined woodsy ground and whip out our masks, donning them in 15 seconds (or, whatever something like that) and then bald eagles would trumpet the anthem because WE’RE THE BEST OF THE BEST

what ACTUALLY happened was that approximately 150 grown rear end adult men and women in filthy camo pants yelled NOOOOOO and took off into the woods, clutching metal trays, grabbing syrupy handfuls of mass produced cafeteria breakfast and stuffing it into their mouths as several high ranking whoever-the-fucks cursed a blue streak at our lack of, I don’t know what team spirit

imagine a dog that has a giant mouthful of waffle it has stolen runs away and you chase yelling WHAT HAVE YOU GOT IN YOUR MOUTH as it’s eyes goggle you wildly while desperately chewing it’s impossible large wad of stolen breakfast, now imagine 150 of them, now imagine it’s people

I have a masters digree

Sagebrush posted:

let it be known to anyone who thinks this sounds like a grand old time: dwarf fortress and spacestation13 stories are vastly more entertaining than the games themselves. enjoy them for what they are and do not seek to experience them yourself. that path leads only to grief.

saintonan posted:

Redczar posted:

I’m the piece of California that isn’t in California

Phlegmish posted:

We have to stop this epidemic of people turning into increasingly abstract things

Tree Goat posted:

When Gregor Samsa woke up one morning from unsettling dreams, he found himself changed in his bed into a humorous or unexpected attribute of a shared image.

PurpleXVI posted:

What's AFAB? I honestly haven't heard that term before.

christmas boots posted:

All Females Are Bastards.

christmas boots posted:

#DefundWomen

...

Sorry I think I’m getting these protests mixed up.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

DF requires a somewhat specific type of broken brain to really enjoy, and basically an index and notes to remember how to play consistently unless you make a lifestyle out of it. But it's basically built to be the great-granddaddy of sandbox games and there's kind of a shitload of genuine depth if you can grok it, it's hard to run out of stuff to do.

WITCHCRAFT posted:

blatman posted:

just put some wine and vodka in a sodastream like a normal person

note don't use red it will explode and then i'll spend the next 4 days trying to bleach the ceiling

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

The Shermator was a sophisticated sex-robot sent back through time to change the future for one lucky lady.

He prowled the 90's, and was often heard to exclaim "Live with me if you want to cum."

Big Beef City posted:

let your meat brine for at least 4 hours in a standard brine (1 cup kosher salt 1 cup sugar to 1 gallon water).
Thread meat securely on skewers and roast on grill until about 3/4th of the way to your desired done-ness.
At this point, it helps to have a partner or at least neighbors to watch. You want to pull down your pants to your ankles, or even take them off and bend over as far as you are able.
Carefully remove each skewer from the grill and slide it fully up and down between your rear end cheeks as firmly and fully as you can, rotating it to really make sure you're rubbing it in there. If you can let a few good honks out while you're doing this, the better. If you can do all this with your rear end pointed out toward your guests or traffic? Wow. Hats off, folks. Once the meat is sated return to the grill and clean yourself or have your partner lick you clean!

Super Waffle posted:

Super Waffle posted:

Kurnugia posted:

hmm... perhaps the ai has watching too much furry porn?

Son of Man posted:

Click here to go to jail! ---> [ ]

Epic High Five posted:

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

ultrafilter posted:

https://twitter.com/keithedwards/status/1271477217353240583

zoux posted:

It's been crazy to see like, the entire country have an epiphany about the Confederacy over like the last week "oh yeah these guys were pro-slavery traitors".

But boo on that commercial for not saying Fort Hitler in the beginning

Apprentice Dick posted:

The point was to make MAGA bros dislike the names with terrorists they dislike, they would almost certainly like Fort Hitler.

canyoneer posted:

A lot of military installations have formal events throughout the year.

Renaming it to Fort Hitler would mean fewer balls.

EorayMel posted:

Would you say tighty whities are like hitler, but for your balls?

Alaois posted:

does anybody on this website, even ironically, enjoy sleevelessposting. why is he kept around. i genuinely do not understand.

Captain Hygiene posted:

I enjoy their posts more than punching myself in the balls, and I thank god every day that I see a sleeveless post, preventing me from punching myself in the balls one more time

RandomFerret posted:

More like painless

sticksy posted:

doctorfrog posted:

Rember, rember!
The fith of Nember,
The Gunper teason pot;
I now of no reson
Why the Gunper teason
Shold ever be fogot!

Stunning Honky posted:

george w bush, keeping the Vietcong safely out of Dallas

tinstaach posted:

I think you'll find that protecting America by any means necessary in Dallas is a Bush family tradition

KoRMaK posted:

President Beep posted:

read about this on buzzfeed news

Matlack Radio posted:

acer r posted:

O shite im high

what should i do goons

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

I'm pretty sure if you offer your teeth to your owner, you are no longer legally considered a slave, as you have been upgraded to indentured servant.

Hillary 2020 posted:

https://twitter.com/classiclib3ral/status/1272581009473667073?s=21

Signs you’re about to make a big mistake: you find yourself typing “I’m not <X> but...”

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

I'm pretty sure if you offer your teeth to your owner, you are no longer legally considered a slave, as you have been upgraded to indentured servant.

Platystemon posted:

I’m not sure, but I think there are innocent uses of that phrasing.

Platystemon posted:

I'm not sure, but I think there are innocent uses of that phrasing.

Platystemon posted:

I'm not sure, but

PinheadSlim posted:

Let he without a hosed up fetish cast the first stone

LOVE LOVE SKELETON posted:

i’m not falling for that again, stonelover.

Inceltown posted:

All other things aside if someone doesn't notice you having sex with them then you're really bad at sex.

oldpainless posted:

When you do things right, people won’t even be sure you did anything at all

TotalHell posted:

It's like A Pup Named Scooby-Doo met FATAL and spawned a boardgame.

Tree Bucket posted:

This is bewildering.
Slightest hint of relationship troubles and in-group/out-group dynamics, and my stupid monkey brain demands I pay attention to this. I can feel a million generations of my ape ancestors trying to grab the steering wheel of my mind, hooting excitedly

ultrafilter posted:

Pick posted:

Sleepnir

Prostitute Lover posted:

IM A NOOOOB DICK

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Prostitute Lover posted:

everybody here hates me and i keep coming back every single day

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

ponds posted:

I cannot believe that I got lured into posting on this lovely forum again.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)