STAR TREK: Picard's Assimilated Balls

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Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

I've started watching star trek for the first time since over a decade ago (mainly odd TNG reruns and probably like half of DS9) and picked Voyager.

It's been an... interesting journey so far. The evil clown episode is something special and I'm kind of digging the whole race of organ stealing plague aliens.

# ? May 30, 2018 11:43

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 13:51

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Colonel Cancer posted:

I've started watching star trek for the first time since over a decade ago (mainly odd TNG reruns and probably like half of DS9) and picked Voyager.

It's been an... interesting journey so far. The evil clown episode is something special and I'm kind of digging the whole race of organ stealing plague aliens.

Gotta love Diktator Janeway making a copy of her mind just so some version of her got to savour watching someone die alone and afraid like a fine meal. Even if it was a clown.

# ? May 30, 2018 11:49

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

I figured Starfleet doesn't really bother with armour most of the time because unless you're fighting actual Klingons or something it ain't worth poo poo against energy weaponry. Personal shields are very occasionally shown to be a thing.

# ? May 30, 2018 11:56

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Who needs armor when you can simply teleport boarders into the cold emptiness of space!?

# ? May 30, 2018 12:05

Kitchner: Nov 9, 2012; IT CAN'T BE BARGAINED WITH.
IT CAN'T BE REASONED WITH.
IT DOESN'T FEEL PITY, OR REMORSE, OR FEAR.
AND IT ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT STOP, EVER, UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT WARHAMMER; Clapping Larry

Isn't it implied that starfleet uniforms are made of some sort of material that helps dissapate heat and poo poo? It's like storm trooper armour, won't prevent a shot but it will make you more likely to survive.

# ? May 30, 2018 12:18

FabioClone: Oct 3, 2004; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Kitchner posted:

Isn't it implied that starfleet uniforms are made of some sort of material that helps dissapate heat and poo poo? It's like storm trooper armour, won't prevent a shot but it will make you more likely to survive.

Troi's cleavage was designed to dissipate body heat. this is canon.

# ? May 30, 2018 12:42

Ghostlight: Sep 25, 2009; maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me

I think that's mostly just because the only way to show a combat situation has gotten serious is to have the props department burn some holes in them.

# ? May 30, 2018 12:44

Kitchner: Nov 9, 2012; IT CAN'T BE BARGAINED WITH.
IT CAN'T BE REASONED WITH.
IT DOESN'T FEEL PITY, OR REMORSE, OR FEAR.
AND IT ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT STOP, EVER, UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT WARHAMMER; Clapping Larry

FabioClone posted:

Troi's cleavage was designed to dissipate body heat. this is canon.

Lol check out this loser.

That was a throw away reference in a single episode which any true trek fan knows was inserted by an intern by accident and was not supposed to make the final cut, and it made Gene furious.

The canon explanation is that they are amplifiers for her telepathy which is why she can sense at longer distances the lower cut her top is.

# ? May 30, 2018 12:51

VictorianQueerLit: Aug 25, 2017

Kitchner posted:

Lol check out this loser.

That was a throw away reference in a single episode which any true trek fan knows was inserted by an intern by accident and was not supposed to make the final cut, and it made Gene furious.

The canon explanation is that they are amplifiers for her telepathy which is why she can sense at longer distances the lower cut her top is.

This is canon. It's why sometimes she has to walk into a room to get a reading and other times she can sense that a Romulan is lying from ten million kilometers away.

# ? May 30, 2018 12:54

chaosbreather: Dec 9, 2001; Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.

I always figured the prime directive was a kind of a pragmatic application of the golden rule.

Like, since Jeffy's Wild Ride they've known massively more advanced civilisations, any one of whom could have trivially changed or ended human history, even in the best case basically means humanity loses the ability to be self-determining. While Q obviously springs to mind, the galaxy is just full of insanely powerful aliens. That old dude what annihilated an entire alien race with a thought. Whale probes. The mostly extinct T'Kon empire. The Traveller. The Prophets and Pah Wraiths. That laughing nightmare baby. N'gelum. And to get real up in here, Data.

So the strategy is this. We craft a prayer, a kind of desperate bargain, using symmetry, the one truly universal language, and as ants we shout it all together, as many of us as possible, other insects too if we can get it happening:
"We don't gently caress with our ants, so please don't gently caress with us"

When Picard talks about the sacrifices that you have to make to enforce the Prime Directive, I don't think he's being a glip sociopath. I think he's speaking literally. Sometimes planets do have to burn, because there are creatures out there that can examine every moment, and this might be the moment that they choose to form their posture towards humanity. We sacrifice these civilisations to the cosmic gods. The larger the sacrifice, the more likely they might hear our prayer, see the pattern in the corpses, and decide to reciprocate our symmetry.

# ? May 30, 2018 15:00

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

VictorianQueerLit posted:

This is canon. It's why sometimes she has to walk into a room to get a reading and other times she can sense that a Romulan is lying from ten million kilometers away.

She doesn't need her powers to know a Romulan is lying.

# ? May 30, 2018 15:11

VictorianQueerLit: Aug 25, 2017

So she is a fraud and just makes poo poo up 90% of the time.

*someone on an exploding ship sends a distress call*
"Captain I sense great anxiety, panic even"

*someone obviously menacing is evading questions*
"Captain, I sense he is hiding something."

# ? May 30, 2018 15:16

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Found a clip from The Thaw, and just watch this;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEnHrzpVKN0&t=198s

Tell me Diktator Janeway (or at least her mental copy) isn't just actively dining on his fear and suffering in his final moments like a fine meal.

# ? May 30, 2018 15:23

simplefish: Mar 28, 2011; So long, and thanks for all the ~~fish~~ gallbladdΣrs!

chaosbreather posted:

I always figured the prime directive was a kind of a pragmatic application of the golden rule.

Like, since Jeffy's Wild Ride they've known massively more advanced civilisations, any one of whom could have trivially changed or ended human history, even in the best case basically means humanity loses the ability to be self-determining. While Q obviously springs to mind, the galaxy is just full of insanely powerful aliens. That old dude what annihilated an entire alien race with a thought. Whale probes. The mostly extinct T'Kon empire. The Traveller. The Prophets and Pah Wraiths. That laughing nightmare baby. N'gelum. And to get real up in here, Data.

So the strategy is this. We craft a prayer, a kind of desperate bargain, using symmetry, the one truly universal language, and as ants we shout it all together, as many of us as possible, other insects too if we can get it happening:
"We don't gently caress with our ants, so please don't gently caress with us"

When Picard talks about the sacrifices that you have to make to enforce the Prime Directive, I don't think he's being a glip sociopath. I think he's speaking literally. Sometimes planets do have to burn, because there are creatures out there that can examine every moment, and this might be the moment that they choose to form their posture towards humanity. We sacrifice these civilisations to the cosmic gods. The larger the sacrifice, the more likely they might hear our prayer, see the pattern in the corpses, and decide to reciprocate our symmetry.

hot drat

# ? May 30, 2018 15:27

Eighties ZomCom: Sep 10, 2008

VictorianQueerLit posted:

So she is a fraud and just makes poo poo up 90% of the time.

*someone on an exploding ship sends a distress call*
"Captain I sense great anxiety, panic even"

*someone obviously menacing is evading questions*
"Captain, I sense he is hiding something."

They should have replaced her with that 80's businessman.

# ? May 30, 2018 16:24

Kitchner: Nov 9, 2012; IT CAN'T BE BARGAINED WITH.
IT CAN'T BE REASONED WITH.
IT DOESN'T FEEL PITY, OR REMORSE, OR FEAR.
AND IT ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT STOP, EVER, UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT WARHAMMER; Clapping Larry

tactlessbastard posted:

She doesn't need her powers to know a Romulan is lying.

Woah, dial back the loving racism there buddy. Just because most Romulans are lying scheming bastards doesn't mean they all are. The ones that keep defecting to the Federation are cool.

# ? May 30, 2018 16:27

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Empathic sex probably rules, even if the partner isn't great you are feeling their pleasure anyway. Probably why she decided to throw Barclay a bone in that one episode. Being with someone who's infatuated with you when you feel other people's emotions must be a huge ego boost

# ? May 30, 2018 16:32

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

simplefish posted:

hot drat

The shrewd thing to do is genocide any spacefaring alien you encounter with the exception being that if they can genocide you in retaliation then you don't kill on sight. Think of it like the prisoner's dilemma but you are playing for the survival of your species and it's never worth the risk. Looked at it this way the Prime Directive is similar to just trusting that the other guy is going to chose the mutually beneficial option in the prisoner's dilemma. It's a clever way to get around this cosmic game of chicken and any civilization that doesn't have some kind of equivalent to this should be annihilated.

# ? May 30, 2018 19:06

The General: Mar 4, 2007

Kitchner posted:

Woah, dial back the loving racism there buddy. Just because most Romulans are lying scheming bastards doesn't mean they all are. The ones that keep defecting to the Federation are cool.

Space racism is okay.

# ? May 30, 2018 19:14

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Neddy Seagoon posted:

Found a clip from The Thaw, and just watch this;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEnHrzpVKN0&t=198s

Tell me Diktator Janeway (or at least her mental copy) isn't just actively dining on his fear and suffering in his final moments like a fine meal.

Heh I loved that poo poo.

It kind of makes sense, with regards to the rules of that virtual reality system they established in the episode. The evil clown & co were essentially running off the minds of people who were in the simulation, and when they tricked them with the exchange of fake Janeway for all the other hostages, there was no longer a connected mind to run things off. So once it got past the several minute latency, the AI realized that it was screwed.

# ? May 30, 2018 19:17

The General: Mar 4, 2007

Michael McKean does such a fantatic job as that clown.

# ? May 30, 2018 19:23

JediTalentAgent: Jun 5, 2005; Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!

I thought in the Kirk Borg novel there was a thought from a Klingon working with Starfleet on some Borg spying project complaining about Starfleet having 'too much protective armor' on their suits because it slowed down their ability to fight.

# ? May 30, 2018 19:24

Mr. Merdle: Oct 17, 2007; THE GREAT MANBABY SUCCESSOR

What was that episode where Boyader finds a society of super advanced engineers but because they've all got the 'tism they have no art, music or other culture to speak of. Then he "teaches" one of them about "music" and she's like "oh that's cool but here I made a program to make the most beautiful music."

Dr. goes all :smith:

because he realizes that no matter what happens in the universe 'spergs will always be 'spergs.

# ? May 30, 2018 19:31

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

I thought Vulcans were in the original show idgi

# ? May 30, 2018 19:33

The General: Mar 4, 2007

Doctor goes all :smith:

because he finds out that 15minutes of fame is called that for a reason.

# ? May 30, 2018 19:34

VictorianQueerLit: Aug 25, 2017

Lil Peeler posted:

What was that episode where Boyader finds a society of super advanced engineers but because they've all got the 'tism they have no art, music or other culture to speak of. Then he "teaches" one of them about "music" and she's like "oh that's cool but here I made a program to make the most beautiful music."

Dr. goes all because he realizes that no matter what happens in the universe 'spergs will always be 'spergs.

That was great because they didn't even want to make beautiful music. Once they learned what singing was they just wanted to minmax the harmonic sounds like true spergs and just came up with a weird program that sounded terrible from a musical standpoint but their entire society kept giving standing ovations to because on paper it was superior in a technical sense.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dVyYCIRCNI

VictorianQueerLit fucked around with this message at 19:53 on May 30, 2018

# ? May 30, 2018 19:51

mods changed my name: Oct 30, 2017

Honestly, just skipping any episode that begins with the doctor singing seems like a safe bet

# ? May 30, 2018 20:03

drilldo squirt: Aug 18, 2006; a beautiful, soft meat sack; Clapping Larry

It's like that one song, you have to watch the whole episode if the doctor sings.

# ? May 30, 2018 20:04

drilldo squirt: Aug 18, 2006; a beautiful, soft meat sack; Clapping Larry

I just remembered they sold Jerry Ryan on being a gigerian monster and she wound up in a skin tight suit that made her boobs seem bigger, high heels, and taking care of a bunch of kids.

# ? May 30, 2018 20:06

drilldo squirt: Aug 18, 2006; a beautiful, soft meat sack; Clapping Larry

I don't know who, but someone owned the poo poo out of her.

# ? May 30, 2018 20:08

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Her next role Boston Public where she would be a successful lawyer who went to teach at school because she saw the kids needed it, a real stand up powerful person.

So of course they gave her a nude scene in the first two episodes she was in.

# ? May 30, 2018 20:10

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

VictorianQueerLit posted:

That was great because they didn't even want to make beautiful music. Once they learned what singing was they just wanted to minmax the harmonic sounds like true spergs and just came up with a weird program that sounded terrible from a musical standpoint but their entire society kept giving standing ovations to because on paper it was superior in a technical sense.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dVyYCIRCNI

They found a planet of metalheads? I'd watch that episode.

# ? May 30, 2018 20:12

Fabulousity: Dec 29, 2008; Number One I order you to take a number two.

quote:

Huston Huddleston, the man who gained some nerd cred in August 2012 after he "saved the bridge" of a discarded Enterprise-D touring set, has been arrested in Southern California on child pornography and other related felony charges.

Welp.

# ? May 30, 2018 21:27

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

Kitchner posted:

I do like the episode where they are discussing terrorism on the Enterprise and Data points out that it is relatively successful in it's aims, as noted by the Irish reunification in 2024.I used to laugh at it like "heh, dumb writers, we solved it and didn't give in to terrorism".

However, Brexit is sort of threatening to fire the whole conflict up again, so now I'm concerned there's going to be a second round of terrorism which is what Data was referring to and TNG was actually written by someone from the future.

Brexit and the possibility of a hard border between the two Irelands is actually no joke increasing support in the North for reunification, which the UK is bound by the Good Friday Agreement to allow if both Irelands have majority support for it (historically this has not been true in the North, sorry Americans your all of Ulster longs to be free of the evil English fantasy isn't actual fact which is why Northern Ireland exists in the first place).

So yeah, could happen, without bombs even.

# ? May 30, 2018 21:30

VictorianQueerLit: Aug 25, 2017

Fabulousity posted:

Welp.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/32736286/star-trek-flat-for-sale-after-owner-jailed

quote:

A flat that looks like the inside of the Star Trek Voyager is up for sale in Hinckley, Leicestershire.

The unusual property used to be occupied by Anthony Alleyne, who was jailed in 2013 for downloading thousands of images of child abuse.

# ? May 30, 2018 21:32

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

quote:

However, because there is no cooker in the kitchen and the windows are obstructed, you can't get a mortgage on this property - so any buyers need to have the money.