PYF Funny Forum Quotes: If I remember right he was also a pedophile

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF Funny Forum Quotes: If I remember right he was also a pedophile

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Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

thatbastardken posted:

in bizarre synchronicity with the thread title Australia was also a pioneer in sexy beach defeat videos, only we called it Gallipoli.

Brb posting this to the funny forums quotes thread.

# ? Sep 4, 2020 20:14

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 15:10

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Australians are possibly unique in people who will drink tea and coffee variously depending on what they feel like at that moment

Anyone who has ever said that a white populace is unique in any way whatsoever is Bill Bryson or worse (which is remarkable as Bill Bryson is only second to Donald Trump in badness and being-wrongness.)

# ? Sep 4, 2020 20:51

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

And jesus christ any person wherever will drink tea if they want tea and coffee if they want coffee WHAT THE gently caress!?!?!?

# ? Sep 4, 2020 20:54

Ornamental Dingbat: Feb 26, 2007

I could go for a steaming pot of milk right now actually.

# ? Sep 4, 2020 20:55

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

Ornamental Dingbat posted:

I could go for a steaming pot of milk right now actually.

Denied.

# ? Sep 4, 2020 20:57

Spanish Manlove: Aug 31, 2008; HAILGAYSATAN

Ornamental Dingbat posted:

I could go for a steaming pot of milk right now actually.

Are you mongolian?

# ? Sep 4, 2020 20:58

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

Ornamental Dingbat posted:

I could go for a steaming pot of milk right now actually.

Mods!?

# ? Sep 4, 2020 20:59

sebmojo: Oct 23, 2010; Legit Cyberpunk

3D Megadoodoo posted:

Anyone who has ever said that a white populace is unique in any way whatsoever is Bill Bryson or worse (which is remarkable as Bill Bryson is only second to Donald Trump in badness and being-wrongness.)

Lol ok buddy

# ? Sep 4, 2020 21:26

Syd Midnight: Sep 23, 2005

Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:

Australia is just a worse New Zealand.

I figure New Zealand is Good Australia, and Canada is Good America.

In any case Australia threads have always been rich sources of SA goon culture.

Triticum Guzzler posted:

[Australia thread]

page 1: a link to the rotten tomatoes web site for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

page 1000: a link to the op's go fund me to cover medical bills due to the aftermath of the mythbusters team searching his urethra for the loch ness monster because of an ill-fated wikipedia edit which, in fairness, was made from a psychiatric ward

that's not much to work with so I threw it into GPT-3:

quote:

page 1010: a link to the op's go fund me to pay off his student loans because he got laid off from his job after getting drunk one night and masturbating into a pail of ice water.

Wanna learn more? Here is the history of Australia: some convicts from the victorian era ended up here. That's about it. We like beer, bait, and bitches. And guns. And the outdoors. And boots. And gettin' pissed. And roos on the barbie.

Now the lot of ya need to just settle down and listen up. This here is important information for people who are serious about surviving in Australia. If you feel unsafe anywhere in Australia, then maybe it would be best if you didn't visit that area.

If you want to live in Australia, then just follow these simple rules:

1) Drink alcohol.

2) Wear boots.

3) Don't talk to people you meet on the street.

4) If someone is following you, then run.

5) Carry a knife.

6) Trust no one.

If you follow these rules then you'll fit right in. You might get a bit lonely but that's the price you pay for making it in such a hostile land.

CASE STUDY: TRACEY ARMSTRONG

Tracey was a typical girl from the United States who had big dreams of becoming a famous model and traveling all around the world. She was very young when she saw the movie "Crazy/Beautiful" and thought that such a life would be hers someday. When she turned 18, she left her home in Tennessee to pursue her dreams in NSW.

She had very little money when she arrived in Kings Cross, so she began working at a brothel called "The Chateau Felicity." She started out as a "boarder" which meant that she could stay there for free and she would have to work at the brothel in exchange for her stay. In Kings Cross, if you stand still for more than a few minutes, someone will come up and offer to sell you drugs.

One night Tracey was taking a shower and her "work folder" (or the paperwork that proves that she is working at a legal brothel) fell into the water by accident. As any normal person would do, she tried to dry it off and the only way that she could think of doing that was to put it between a folded sheet of paper and place it in front of a heater to dry.

Unfortunately, this was a very costly mistake because the heat from the heater somehow ignited the paper and the brothel quickly burned down. 46 women died in that fire and Tracey was one of them. Now she would never become that famous model and travel around the world like she had always dreamed of.

And so, this is how dreams die in Australia.

WATCH OUT FOR THAT DOG!

I can only assume this is 100% accurate somehow

# ? Sep 4, 2020 21:49

Karia: Mar 27, 2013; Self-portrait, Snake on a Plane
Oil painting, c. 1482-1484
Leonardo DaVinci (1452-1591)

Syd Midnight posted:

I figure New Zealand is Good Australia, and Canada is Good America.

In any case Australia threads have always been rich sources of SA goon culture.

that's not much to work with so I threw it into GPT-3:

I can only assume this is 100% accurate somehow

Holy poo poo GPT-3 did that? Did you do any editing? That's seriously incredible, you should throw that in the PYF Procgen thread.

# ? Sep 4, 2020 22:08

John Lee: Mar 2, 2013; A time traveling adventure everyone can enjoy

3D Megadoodoo posted:

And jesus christ any person wherever will drink tea if they want tea and coffee if they want coffee WHAT THE gently caress!?!?!?

I have never met a single person, out of hundreds, who will drink and enjoy both tea AND coffee. It's one or the other, no exceptions, except apparently in Australia.

Now, to drink a nice cup of hot tea, and not coffee, because we don't have a coffee maker or coffee grounds in our house, because we're all tea people.

# ? Sep 4, 2020 22:10

sebmojo: Oct 23, 2010; Legit Cyberpunk

John Lee posted:

I have never met a single person, out of hundreds, who will drink and enjoy both tea AND coffee. It's one or the other, no exceptions, except apparently in Australia.

Now, to drink a nice cup of hot tea, and not coffee, because we don't have a coffee maker or coffee grounds in our house, because we're all tea people.

I do though i prefer coffee? I'm a kiwi though so Idk where that leaves us

# ? Sep 4, 2020 22:14

Spanish Manlove: Aug 31, 2008; HAILGAYSATAN

John Lee posted:

I have never met a single person, out of hundreds, who will drink and enjoy both tea AND coffee. It's one or the other, no exceptions, except apparently in Australia.

Now, to drink a nice cup of hot tea, and not coffee, because we don't have a coffee maker or coffee grounds in our house, because we're all tea people.

Hello would you like to meet me so you can check that off your incredibly easy scavenger hunt that I assume you're doing?

# ? Sep 4, 2020 22:16

John Lee: Mar 2, 2013; A time traveling adventure everyone can enjoy

Spanish Manlove posted:

Hello would you like to meet me so you can check that off your incredibly easy scavenger hunt that I assume you're doing?

And break the streak!?

# ? Sep 4, 2020 22:18

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

John Lee posted:

I have never met a single person, out of hundreds, who will drink and enjoy both tea AND coffee. It's one or the other, no exceptions, except apparently in Australia.

Hello, nice to meet you.

# ? Sep 4, 2020 22:54

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

John Lee posted:

I have never met a single person, out of hundreds, who will drink and enjoy both tea AND coffee. It's one or the other, no exceptions, except apparently in Australia.

Now, to drink a nice cup of hot tea, and not coffee, because we don't have a coffee maker or coffee grounds in our house, because we're all tea people.

Hello.

# ? Sep 4, 2020 23:06

oldpainless: Oct 30, 2009; This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲^TM� #ad📢

John Lee posted:

I have never met a single person, out of hundreds, who will drink and enjoy both tea AND coffee. It's one or the other, no exceptions, except apparently in Australia.

Now, to drink a nice cup of hot tea, and not coffee, because we don't have a coffee maker or coffee grounds in our house, because we're all tea people.

Would you like coffee, tea,

Or me?

# ? Sep 4, 2020 23:07

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

oldpainless posted:

Would you like coffee, tea,

Or me?

Just the coffee, please.

# ? Sep 4, 2020 23:14

oldpainless: Oct 30, 2009; This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲^TM� #ad📢

Captain Hygiene posted:

Just the coffee, please.

# ? Sep 4, 2020 23:19

Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

oldpainless posted:

No

More like oldconsentless

# ? Sep 4, 2020 23:21

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Kitfox88 posted:

More like oldbeanless

# ? Sep 4, 2020 23:22

Lobok: Jul 13, 2006; Say Watt?

I'm the extremely rare person who likes tea and coffee and oldpainless.

# ? Sep 4, 2020 23:29

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

If wish you for coffee, tea, or me
Then answer me these riddles three

# ? Sep 4, 2020 23:31

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Both of them are delicious. People who don't like tea have never tried a hot toddy and people that don't like coffee have never tried coffee with a percocet crushed up in it.

# ? Sep 4, 2020 23:51

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

I spent a month of my life trying to convince my body it liked tea. It didn't work. Because tea is bad.

# ? Sep 4, 2020 23:56

Cacafuego: Jul 22, 2007

thatbastardken posted:

in bizarre synchronicity with the thread title Australia was also a pioneer in sexy beach defeat videos, only we called it Gallipoli.

goddamn

# ? Sep 5, 2020 00:21

Moon Slayer: Jun 19, 2007

I mix tea and coffee together and then add a shot of Red Bull. My goal is to vibrate at a frequency that will send me to Earth-2.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 00:26

Yngwie Mangosteen: Aug 23, 2007

Lobok posted:

I'm the extremely rare person who likes tea and coffee and oldpainless.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 00:29

madeintaipei: Jul 13, 2012

John Lee posted:

I have never met a single person, out of hundreds, who will drink and enjoy both tea AND coffee. It's one or the other, no exceptions, except apparently in Australia.

Now, to drink a nice cup of hot tea, and not coffee, because we don't have a coffee maker or coffee grounds in our house, because we're all tea people.

Coffee in the morning, sweet iced-tea in the afternoon.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 01:09

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

When I�m working I�m running on a steady stream of coffee, sugar free Red Bull, and those Ito En green teas.

Why yes I do stay awake for 30+ hours in a row at least once a week.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 01:12

Son of Thunderbeast: Sep 21, 2002

Lol just lol if you aren't crushing no-doz and rubbing them into your eyes

# ? Sep 5, 2020 01:40

funmanguy: Apr 20, 2006; What time is it?

I drink coffee and my wife drinks tea. It�s written in the prenup.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 01:47

Trevor Hale: Dec 8, 2008; What have I become, my Swedish friend?

funmanguy posted:

I drink coffee and my wife drinks tea. We�d like to enter a final plea.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 01:53

Zamboni Rodeo: Jul 19, 2007; NEVER play "Lady of Spain" AGAIN!

Trevor Hale posted:

funmanguy posted:
I drink coffee and my wife drinks tea. We�d like to enter a final plea.

Goddammit, I was just about to put this in the Funny Quotes thread, but look where the gently caress I am.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 02:08

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Every morning I flip a coin. If it�s heads it�s a coffee day. Tails, a tea day.

If it lands on its edge I do a line of coke.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 02:18

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

it's not a quote as such but "Milo and POTUS" is such a good username drat

# ? Sep 5, 2020 02:23

Yngwie Mangosteen: Aug 23, 2007

madeintaipei posted:

Coffee in the morning, sweet iced-tea in the afternoon.

I see you have good taste.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 02:30

Dareon: Apr 6, 2009; by vyelkin

You people can have your lovely bean and leaf waters.

Now please excuse me, my high fructose corn syrup is going flat.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 03:46

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Dareon posted:

You people can have your lovely bean and leaf waters.

Now please excuse me, my high fructose corn syrup is going flat.

por que no los dos

# ? Sep 5, 2020 03:48

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 15:10

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

I'll go through tea phases every now and then before switching back to the Good stuff.

Also Australian, to add another anecdote to the evidence.

# ? Sep 5, 2020 04:05

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF Funny Forum Quotes: If I remember right he was also a pedophile

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