Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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glowing-fish: Keep grinding,
I hope you level up!

I don't know if this joke is "good", but here goes.

A man goes to his doctor on January 1st, and the Doctor says "Feliz ano nuevo!", and the man corrects him on his pronunciation. But then the doctor says "No, I was just trying to tell you, you need some reconstructive proctology"

# ? Jan 3, 2019 16:39

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# ? May 26, 2024 02:31

Jaded Burnout

glowing-fish posted:

I don't know if this joke is "good", but here goes.

A man goes to his doctor on January 1st, and the Doctor says "Feliz ano nuevo!", and the man corrects him on his pronunciation. But then the doctor says "No, I was just trying to tell you, you need some reconstructive proctology"

Sounds like he needs some help pulling his poo poo together

# ? Jan 3, 2019 21:46

Putty: HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

the krabby patty secret formula is rear end, plankton has been tryign to steal it for years but lest he knows the secret is rear end

# ? Jan 6, 2019 02:47

Grimwit: Those eyes! That hair! You're like a movie star! I must take your picture!

Your walk to a deli.
Sign on the marqui says "Daily Baked Br ad"
You walk inside.
Guy behind this counter is stoned out of his mind.
Nametag reads "Br ad"

Maybe my brother and I were too drunk, but this kept us laughing for, like, 30 minutes.

# ? Jan 6, 2019 03:03

HappyKitty

glowing-fish posted:

I don't know if this joke is "good", but here goes.

A man goes to his doctor on January 1st, and the Doctor says "Feliz ano nuevo!", and the man corrects him on his pronunciation. But then the doctor says "No, I was just trying to tell you, you need some reconstructive proctology"

this is VERY GOOD

# ? Jan 6, 2019 04:31

Cubone: Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

I was going to post a thread in gbs about worrying about the actors when you're watching porn

the title was "you ever watch porn and wonder if the people in it are okay?"

but whatever I thought I was typing for the body of the thread, it came out "boner city" and I saw that and started laughing and I'm still kind of laughing

# ? Jan 6, 2019 11:12

ghost emoji: oooOooOOOooh

Hemingway To Go! posted:

TV show with a cry track instead of a laugh track

man i love This Is Us

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# ? Jan 6, 2019 17:16

got any sevens: by Cyrano4747

tv show with a jackoff track

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Jan 6, 2019 18:52

Barking Gecko: Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."

TV show with a DSTR track

# ? Jan 6, 2019 20:17

The X-man cometh

Barking Gecko posted:

TV show with a ~~DSTR~~ ASMR track

# ? Jan 7, 2019 00:22

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Ordinary Human Things

"Good day, small human," I say trying to shake hands with a baby.

"I bought a canid predator," I say gesturing at a coyote in an army man shirt. "His name is Trevor."

All of my cabinets have handprint locks. The hand has six fingers.

You notice that Trevor is operating a small machine with unexpected grace.

# ? Jan 7, 2019 21:48

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

This here's Texas Pete, the Oklahoma Kid, and New Brunswick Martindale

# ? Jan 8, 2019 03:35

Putty: HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

Unfriended 3: Internet's Revenge

# ? Jan 9, 2019 15:15

FutonForensic

Cubone posted:

I was going to post a thread in gbs about worrying about the actors when you're watching porn

the title was "you ever watch porn and wonder if the people in it are okay?"

but whatever I thought I was typing for the body of the thread, it came out "boner city" and I saw that and started laughing and I'm still kind of laughing

I think about the phrase "taking the fucktrain from pussyville to boner city, USA" for a long time now, but i've never found a way to incorporate it into a #1 funk jam

# ? Jan 9, 2019 20:46

Manifisto

morgan freeman on the land

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Jan 15, 2019 04:10

Manifisto

[voiceover in a soothing, down-to-earth, sensibly strong tone]: I still remember the first time I met andy, and heard him talking about the terrible business that landed him in prison. seems ol' andy never learned that statute law is a contract, and that individuals can opt out of statutory law and instead live under common, natural laws.

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Jan 15, 2019 04:14

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

One of King Arthur�s lesser- known knights was the often-yielding, even when the battle is going completely in his favor, Sir Render- he�s not giving up, he�s just giving YOU a chance to win!

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Jan 15, 2019 04:32

Grimwit: Those eyes! That hair! You're like a movie star! I must take your picture!

Genie: What are your three wishes?

Buhdist: That you be well, at peace, and happy.

Genie: [thinking] There's gotta be a way to turn this against him.

# ? Jan 15, 2019 17:02

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

It's difficult, at best. I struggle through the pain, my sore muscles aching from the buildup of lactic acid, burning- lungs on fire, starving for precious oxygen. My legs are heavy, wooden- made of lead. My feet drag obediently onward, but only because my will is stronger. I ignore the pain, the need for air- all of it.

I press on, my movements exact, precise. Enough of this weakness, I reach deep down and tap into my hidden reserves.

I now dance as my legs keep my body in motion, a moving target for my opponent. I jab-jab-PUNCH, dance; jab-PUNCH! jab-jab-jab.

Finally, after months of practice, I succeed! I accomplish my goal, the target of my training is mine! I have done it!

I HAVE PUNCHED MY WAY THROUGH A WET PAPER BAG!

Next I will attempt to hit the broad side of that barn...

# ? Jan 17, 2019 18:01

got any sevens: by Cyrano4747

Now to train my yoga poses, so I may one day be flexible enough to lift my shoe heel toward my face so I can finally read those insteuctions for pouring out water

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Jan 17, 2019 20:42

Twenty Four

patting a young boy on the head and saying "good job, spurt" instead of "good job squirt", being embarrassed about how weird that was, then realizing it is just as weird that some people call kids "squirt"

# ? Jan 24, 2019 09:44

Farecoal: There he go

aren't we all just squirts, really?

# ? Jan 24, 2019 10:14

Putty: HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

Washing and snipping my bag of washed and snipped green peas

# ? Jan 24, 2019 13:28

vanisher

Lamsplaining: when lambs try to educate you unnecessarily

# ? Jan 24, 2019 22:53

vanisher

Gramsplaining: same but its grandmas

# ? Jan 24, 2019 22:54

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Teaching grandma to dunk on fools on twitter, then later that week learning from grandma to dunk on fools at the ladies' auxiliary.

# ? Jan 24, 2019 23:55

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Trip Advisor reviews from across the multiverse

# ? Jan 24, 2019 23:56

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

What if Superman goes senile and other things too terrible to contemplate

# ? Jan 24, 2019 23:57

The X-man cometh

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

What if Superman goes senile and other things too terrible to contemplate

Based on what happened to Professor X in Logan, it wouldn't go well.

# ? Jan 25, 2019 00:11

vanisher

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

What if Superman goes senile and other things too terrible to contemplate

lol

# ? Jan 25, 2019 00:32

Twenty Four

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

What if Superman goes senile and other things too terrible to contemplate

Stooperman

# ? Jan 25, 2019 13:37

Twenty Four

The first day in prison, go up to the biggest guy in the yard and challenge him to a game of tic tac toe. After the inevitable draw, everyone will give you respect, knowing that you could go "toe to toe" with the baddest guy in the block.

# ? Jan 25, 2019 13:40

Mummy Napkin

CrossFit? Isn't that the workout Jesus did?

# ? Jan 26, 2019 15:21

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

A suspenseful heist film but we're just trying to make mac and cheese while super high.

# ? Jan 27, 2019 18:43

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

*Mission Impossible theme playing* 'Add flavor packet' Woah how did they make FLAVOR a powder?!

# ? Jan 27, 2019 18:44

TheShrike: You mechs may have copper wiring to re-route your fear of pain, but I've got nerves of steel.

Your crush is a psychiatrist but is having a hard time getting clients and interesting work, so you disguise yourself and go to her sessions with a huge amount of mental issues to make her happy

# ? Jan 28, 2019 05:28

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Kontradaz posted:

Your crush is a psychiatrist but is having a hard time getting clients and interesting work, so you disguise yourself and go to her sessions with a huge amount of mental issues to make her happy

This is almost a Gary Marshall movie

# ? Jan 28, 2019 14:02

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

She was a therapist with love to give. He was a basket case with a collection of false mustaches. This Valentines Day they are

Shrunk In Love

# ? Jan 28, 2019 14:03

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Baffling Consolation/Explanation

I thought that was blood in the sink, but it turned out to just be gravy.

# ? Jan 28, 2019 14:04

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# ? May 26, 2024 02:31

FactsAreUseless

Miles "Tails" Gotti

# ? Jan 28, 2019 23:21

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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