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Alterian posted:I did a wipe recently and made him do it with me. intriguing potty-training techniques
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Apr 25, 2023 22:35
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Yeah we generally don't limit screen time (while we are home just hanging out anyway) but I think you have to make a real effort to be hands on with helping give your kids to think critically about things that they are going to encounter on the internet (age appropriate obviously). Advertising, misinformation, bias, bullying, etc etc etc. These are going to be real things that you can't protect your kids from forever so I think being involved and trying to help give them a framework and skills to navigate the internet and screen time is hugely important vs pretending it doesn't exist or making it this exotic, forbidden thing. Edit: sentence structure has escaped me apparently marchantia fucked around with this message at 02:08 on Apr 26, 2023 |
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Apr 25, 2023 22:44
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Yeah, don't have to solve this problem until he's like 5 or 15 or whatever. But holy poo poo I'm never going to forget how everyone was like marchantia posted:pretending it doesn't exist or making it this exotic, forbidden thing is important. Were the only two options that were acceptable to wife and in-laws. Thanks thread
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Apr 25, 2023 22:56
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I'm weird because I was homeschooled but my parents were atheists and well off enough that my mom could make it her full time job. I got into a great college and met many people way smarter than me, who would tell me how they hated high school and got high during most of their classes. My opinions on educating my daughter boil down to "the important thing is to learn how to learn and internalize that you should never stop learning until you die. School is brain pushups but not everything."
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Apr 25, 2023 23:26
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The best-behaved, well-adjusted, and most fun kids we've known have been those whose parents severely limited their TV time and didn't let them play on phones/tablets. Now, are they great kids because they haven't had TV/phone exposure, or are they great kids because their parents are sufficiently involved to be worrying about this stuff in the first place, and the TV thing is just coincidental? I don't know. But we're keeping the TV off when the baby arrives (inducing tomorrow evening, if he doesn't come on his own before then), and I'm going to hold out on giving him a phone as long as possible. We've known several people who gave their kids an Apple Watch when they got to be about 10. They can make phone calls, text, etc. from it but it's just not the same level of attention-suck. Seems like a good middle-ground, although frankly I think it'd be better for everyone involved if kids just went off to school and didn't contact their parents at all during the day -- I'm also blown away by how frequently modern daycares seem to send out pictures & midday text updates to parents! As for schools, I went to school in the same small town for all of K-12. Graduating class of about 60. No AP courses, math topped out at pre-calc, but we had a pretty drat good band program and lots of shop classes if you like that sorta thing. Maybe 50% went to college, most to the nearest state school but we'd also sent some to Stanford etc.; I ended up going to a pretty drat good engineering college. The kids whose parents cared (mostly the Mormons) excelled, the others mostly just coasted through. Honestly, I think the lack of an "accelerated" track gave kids who were academically strong an opportunity to branch out a little and maintain other interests instead of constantly slaving at high-level classwork -- I took drafting and "home maintenance" (learn how to mix concrete, how to do basic surveying, etc.), read an absolute poo poo-load, taught myself how to use Linux and do some programming, and I was heavily involved with the band program. On a side note, when I was in HS, the school administration was obsessed with what they called a "portfolio", where you'd save coursework, report cards, and awards over the course of your 4 years and assemble them in a giant 3-ring binder. They told us it would be essential when applying to college. It absolutely loving was not, and I wonder if they still maintain that idiotic fiction...
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Apr 25, 2023 23:44
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I don't let my oldest have unlimited screen time. He would be on something from the moment he woke up to when he passed out while watching things. I've also stared into the abyss of the internet and I limit what he can do on it. My younger one is not nearly as interested in technology. Its a double edged sword. When there are times we want him occupied with a tablet for a little bit, usually the thing we are doing or the place we are at is much more interesting.
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Apr 25, 2023 23:50
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You can pry my midday daycare photos out of my cold dead hands! It’s the highlight of my day. I know things will change as my little guy gets older, but I love getting a glimpse into what he is learning. It was so hard to go from spending every waking moment with my squishy baby to sending him off to someone else’s care for the entire day, 5 days a week. He’s been going to daycare for over a year now and I still get sad on Mondays when it is time for him to go back.
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Apr 25, 2023 23:50
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remigious posted:You can pry my midday daycare photos out of my cold dead hands! That's fuckin right.
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Apr 25, 2023 23:58
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remigious posted:You can pry my midday daycare photos out of my cold dead hands!  We are limiting the screen for our almost-3.5-yo, though she does watch Sesame Street, Bluey, Lamma Lamma, and such. Usually to 30 mins a day tops, plus she talks to my side of the family on phone or tablet as they live on another continent. I've been trying to get a OLCP as it seems to be the only laptop with a reflective screen, but those things are so ridiculously priced when (rarely) available.
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Apr 26, 2023 00:05
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I think the benefits of limiting screen time are more correlation (parents who care about screen time are good parents in other ways) than causation. I always thought we'd be pretty strict about screen time, but it turns out that we're not. We care a lot about the content (only a couple of selected things from YouTube, otherwise PBS Kids stuff and Bluey). But to be honest they probably watch an hour of TV most mornings because the younger one (2.5 years) has never been a great sleeper, is on a kick of waking up just before 6 am, and I am too exhausted to enforce anything else while I try to get them ready for the day and out the door. Half the days they watch some more TV when they get home while we get dinner ready and the like. We've let the older one (5 years) play a lot of Nintendo Switch, including the entirety of Pokemon Scarlet, largely by herself. She's also the only kid in her class who can read (and she can read 3-4 lines of text at one go comfortably, such as a kid's level 1 or 2 book or the video game dialog) and she can write too. The younger one is the most emotionally attuned kid I've ever met, and can talk about his own feelings as well as other people's fluently. He's also super into music and can recognize songs from just a few bars; the other day, he noticed that "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and the alphabet song are the same tune and started singing his own mashup. So yeah, they get 1-2 hours of screen time a day and I think they're doing just fine.
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Apr 26, 2023 00:22
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I was recently distressed to learn that The Kids These Days don't know who Mr Rogers is. It sounds like the Daniel Tiger show is pretty good, but I guess I've got Feelings because I watched a ton of Mr Rogers. At least you can get the old stuff from archive.org 
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Apr 26, 2023 00:31
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Daniel Tiger is sweet and got the blessing from Mr Rogers before he passed.
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Apr 26, 2023 00:56
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Yeah we always thought we’d limit the screen time to basically none, but when it’s either me or my wife home alone and we need to cook/clean or do some other chore we let them watch TV because it just makes things easier for everyone for that short period of time. My twins like Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and an episode or two a day of that isn’t going to hurt.
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Apr 26, 2023 01:04
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I have working-class, immigrant nieces and nephews who went to a high school with some of the best academics in the nation, along with a stubbornly high suicide rate. At that level, it’s an arms race. The ‘average’ kid has two techie parents who enroll their kids in math tutoring, foreign language classes, music lessons, etc starting in kindergarten. The teachers are beholden to wealthy parents and their fundraisers, so good luck if you’re poor and care more about the fundamentals than spending a week ‘volunteering’ in Costa Rica. Teacher turnover is high because they’re dealing with entitled brats and can’t afford to live anywhere near the school district on a teacher salary. All of my relatives have gone to community college (if that) because college admissions rank you against your peers from the same school. If you’re a C student at an outstanding school, you’re basically hosed. These are bright kids working while in school to support the family, but their motivation was destroyed after being told for years that, unless you’re winning international math competitions or doing college-level research, you might as well not exist. The podcast Nice White Parents goes into some of the nuance behind school quality and equity (it’s not as straightforward as more diverse = better), if you’re interested.
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Apr 26, 2023 01:10
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in_cahoots posted:The podcast Nice White Parents goes into some of the nuance behind school quality and equity (it’s not as straightforward as more diverse = better), if you’re interested. This is a great podcast and great recommendation, some of the "good schools" chat skeeves me out but I also can't fault people for wanting to do the absolute best for their kid so it's complicated.
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Apr 26, 2023 02:15
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Jesus Christ, I was just tucking my son in bed and felt something pokey in his hand-sewn quilt from grandma. Pulled it out of bed and found that my mom had sewn a giant rear end needle inside somehow. Ok. Just found another one. gently caress. That’s not normal, is it?
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Apr 26, 2023 03:55
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remigious posted:Jesus Christ, I was just tucking my son in bed and felt something pokey in his hand-sewn quilt from grandma. Pulled it out of bed and found that my mom had sewn a giant rear end needle inside somehow. no that is not gently caress
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Apr 26, 2023 04:04
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Is it a needle, or did she just forget to take out some pins?
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Apr 26, 2023 04:16
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Pins I'm assuming but I would rip it off the bed until you've very thoroughly de-pinned it and had someone else double check your work (and maybe let your mum know but also double check anything else she makes cos yikes that's a gently caress up)
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Apr 26, 2023 05:26
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Pham Nuwen posted:Is it a needle, or did she just forget to take out some pins? Looks like she left some enormous pins in. It just sucks doubly because this is another indication that my mom isn’t doing so well. But that’s a whole can of worms 
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Apr 26, 2023 05:55
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KirbyKhan posted:The thing I'm most worried about is how do I teach "how to touch computer" to a child in this era.
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Apr 26, 2023 08:24
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Tamarillo posted:Okay so we found a fun loophole. 4yo son saw a minecraft video, decided that all things pixelated were therefore Minecraft. Started watching "Minecraft Mario" videos (i.e. ye olde Mario games). Then I picked up a DOS game on Steam that I played the shareware of as a kid, asked if he wanted to play a game like minecraft mario but with aliens, he got excited - and now we play Cosmo's Cosmic Adventures every night, AND I get to find out how it ends 30 years later. It's weird that I was so poo poo at Cosmo's Cosmic Adventures but I was a master of Commander Keen.
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Apr 26, 2023 16:48
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Pham Nuwen posted:On a side note, when I was in HS, the school administration was obsessed with what they called a "portfolio", where you'd save coursework, report cards, and awards over the course of your 4 years and assemble them in a giant 3-ring binder. They told us it would be essential when applying to college. It absolutely loving was not, and I wonder if they still maintain that idiotic fiction... I remember this! It was a big part of our CALM class. Career And Life Management. It was in 11th grade, I think. I still have my big binder somewhere. We had to do all sorts of career aptitude tests and do a job shadow. I job shadowed a comic book artist. I forget what kinds of jobs my aptitude tests suggested.. And yeah, it was completely worthless. Okay, so you have some medals from dance class and did well on short story writing… so what. When I went to college, I went to a technical school and the first semester actually did have a basic technology aptitude class. Basically a “can you computer?” class. It was a course about working with Adobe suite software, so it was pretty important to have a solid knowledge base. Regarding screen time, my kid watches a lot of tv and YouTube, but she seems to actually be learning stuff from it. Particularly songs. She’s started singing a lot lately and now knows the ABC song. There’s a Pokémon nursery rhymes channel that she likes. She’s learning an awful lot of Pokémon from it too. “Look , mummy! Mistah Mime! Gengah!” We had on an old Simpsons episode yesterday and when Homer is on the airplane and shouts, “We’re all gonna die!” my child just smiles and says, “We’re all gon die, mummy!” And then she laughed. It was hilarious. Nessa fucked around with this message at 19:52 on Apr 26, 2023 |
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Apr 26, 2023 19:48
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Bluey is one of the few identifiable words our toddler says, which probably says something about her screen time. It's super adorable though, and I think she's figured out we'll reward her for using a word.
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Apr 26, 2023 20:27
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I bonded with toddler by watching a bunch of Dad-era Johto Pokemon and the new Masters-whatever Pokemon. It kinda hosed up his speech in a cute way. When we go over farm animals he thinks the sound that the animal makes is their name. Just point at a cat and he's all "That's meow meow" point at a dog and he's all "Woof woof" The noise making toys didn't really help. Idk it'll be fine.
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Apr 26, 2023 20:58
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My 2.5 year old has seen every episode of King of the Hill. He loved it. Now that he's old enough to understand things he mostly sticks to Bear in the Big Blue House which is pretty good tbh. We throw in Sesame Street, Bluey, and Daniel Tiger every now and then, but he loves Bear. He gets to watch an episode or two before bed on weekdays and more on weekends depending on which daycare bug we're dealing with at the time, but he gets bored with it pretty quick anyway
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Apr 26, 2023 22:44
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Jose Valasquez posted:My 2.5 year old has seen every episode of King of the Hill. He loved it. Bear is awesome. My almost 2 year old loves it too. She frequently goes in the hall and I hear her singing "where oh where oh where is shadow" to her own shadow on the wall My kid is all about anything puppets hallo spacedog fucked around with this message at 23:29 on Apr 26, 2023 |
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Apr 26, 2023 23:02
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I can highly recommend Ms Rachel on YouTube for toddlers. Our youngest has a pretty bad speech delay and her videos are basically exactly the same as what they do in speech therapy in video form. It's helped her even more than her actual speech therapist because she can watch it more than she sees the therapist. She has shown drastic improvement and I would attribute it probably 60% to Ms Rachel and the rest to her therapist and what we do with her.
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Apr 26, 2023 23:13
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These are a couple of interesting topics even though my son's a little young for most of it to apply directly (turning 1 in about a week and a half). Re: schools, I have such a different perspective from my wife because of my background. I was a military brat, so I just went to whatever school was on base or in town. I had absolutely no clue about building up for college admissions or anything like that. My wife is from New York, so she was way more in tune with the competitive, cutthroat nature of getting your kid started off right as early as possible (to an extent that honestly sounded like it'd be too absurd for a parody when I was first hearing about it ). I don't know how I'll feel about it all when the time comes. Re: screentime/technology, we definitely gave up on any pretense of any formal system fairly quickly, but all he watches is Sesame Street (although we're trying to get Bluey to catch on too). It's on as white noise sometimes, but not constantly. He's got a favorite episode that works like gangbusters, and he'll always perk up for the Letter of the Day song, but sometimes it's just relaxing to help him out. He doesn't usually have the attention span to actually sit and watch it, but it can be part of keeping things fun and putting him in a good mood. I absolutely do want him to have a working knowledge of basic technology, though. I've been hearing more and more about the kids these days being clueless outside of their heavily curated smartphone apps and poo poo, and it's just so wild to me.
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Apr 27, 2023 01:18
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D-Pad posted:I can highly recommend Ms Rachel on YouTube for toddlers. Our youngest has a pretty bad speech delay and her videos are basically exactly the same as what they do in speech therapy in video form. It's helped her even more than her actual speech therapist because she can watch it more than she sees the therapist. She has shown drastic improvement and I would attribute it probably 60% to Ms Rachel and the rest to her therapist and what we do with her. "Op-en pleeeeaaase" Mrs Rachel taught my 2.25 year old how to speak. She's good. Babies, honestly everybody, needs this media to slow tf down. The repetition might drive you mad, but it is essential to get those first 200 words out of a toddlers mouth. I stick with the newer stuff, some of the tail ends of the older videos make me feel like I'm being activated. I should go back to doing flash cards with the boy, I bet they'll be fun now.
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Apr 27, 2023 01:31
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Crescent Wrench posted:
Same brother same. My Long Island Lady is like so up her butt about school rankings and reviews from old white people sites, but I always felt like if a dummy like me could pierce her protective orbit with enough gusto to marry her then what good was all that prestigious schooling. I am soft committed to be on the PTA thingy when my son comes of school age whenever that happens, probably 1000 years. Gonna be a fuckin busy body at them teachers wherever my kid goes.
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Apr 27, 2023 01:37
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We’re on the cusp of walking for our youngest, so it’s about time to install a baby gate at the top of our stairs. Has anyone found a good gate to work around weird railing/wall configurations? Our top of stairs setup has a small wall outcropping on one side, with the other side having the top of the railing smack dab in the middle of where the top of the gate would have to sit. If we used straps to connect to the rail, it would leave a big gap between the gate and the wall. Any ideas? 
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Apr 27, 2023 14:30
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For stairs we got a pressure tension gate that swings. Like the pic below. It's good and our foyer one has withstood the test of time and left dents in our wall. The non-swingy baby gates are fine for rooms, very temporary solutions. But if you use them for stairs you or your wife will fall down the stairs trying to step over the gate. 1 year old is still prime age for baby pen or pack and play containment. Edit: bah imgur broken KirbyKhan fucked around with this message at 14:55 on Apr 27, 2023 |
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Apr 27, 2023 14:53
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There are a few baby gates that can function at an angle instead of just 90 degrees, so that's probably your best bet? Otherwise maybe accept the unsightlyness for a couple years, and attach enough 2x4 or whatever to the right wall outcropping to be able to attach the gate and make it a 90 to just behind the railing? EDIT: I realize my tolerance for wall damage may be slightly off, I keep a bag of 45 minute joint compound in the basement for repair. Vorkosigan fucked around with this message at 15:50 on Apr 27, 2023 |
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Apr 27, 2023 15:01
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Quarterroys posted:We’re on the cusp of walking for our youngest, so it’s about time to install a baby gate at the top of our stairs. I would definitely recommend a 90 degree gate that mounts to the walls (and goes outside the rail and mounts at an angle at the other side). I wouldn't really trust a pressure gate at the top of the stairs. It can come loose and you might not realize it until it matters, and they can also damage the walls more than drilling through it. esquilax fucked around with this message at 15:26 on Apr 27, 2023 |
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Apr 27, 2023 15:23
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I got these two for different “top of the stars” situations: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B07JGNFF97 https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B005JN6304
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Apr 27, 2023 16:15
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remigious posted:Looks like she left some enormous pins in. It just sucks doubly because this is another indication that my mom isn’t doing so well. But that’s a whole can of worms It is very very easy to lose pins in a project, especially one where you are extremely focused on making the stitching "perfect" since you'll put in pins where you normally wouldn't. Wave a strong magnet over it and you should be able to find any other pins.
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Apr 27, 2023 16:34
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I will likely try to get involved with PTO/PTA/whatever it's called these days when my kid starts kindergarten. She's doing 4k at a different elementary than her usual one because the one closest only offers full day 4k and since I don't work I wanted to give the slot to someone (working family/low income family) that really would value all day school. I also think it would be a bigger jump for my kid, because she's not used to all day daycare. She'll do afternoons in 4k for a year, then full days in kindergarten at her elementary which is a short walk from our house.
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Apr 27, 2023 17:13
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Quarterroys posted:We’re on the cusp of walking for our youngest, so it’s about time to install a baby gate at the top of our stairs. We live in an old house with its share of unusual walls and outcroppings. We find these roller gates to be quite effective. Since they don’t require precise alignment, they’re easier to fit into weird places. The downside is that it’s difficult to operate them one-handed. I’m not sure if these are the ones we have, but they’re similar at least. Ours came with spare brackets, so you can move the gate to multiple locations throughout the day to control traffic flow at different times. https://www.amazon.ca/EasyBaby-Prod...=8-2&th=1&psc=1
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Apr 27, 2023 18:50
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Quarterroys posted:We’re on the cusp of walking for our youngest, so it’s about time to install a baby gate at the top of our stairs. I was recommended these and they work really well. https://cardinalgates.com/product-category/gates/baby-gates/baby-top-of-stairs/
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Apr 27, 2023 23:54
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