OLD TRUMP THREAD GO TO THE NEW ONE

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > OLD TRUMP THREAD GO TO THE NEW ONE

Baller Ina: Oct 21, 2010; :whattheeucharist:

GobiasIndustries posted:

Huckabee's large adult daughter has been sidelined?

shuckle didn't focus group well, gonna have to relegate her to small guest spots, maybe show her arguing with a clerk or something every dozen episodes or so

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:31

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 01:22

navyjack: Jul 15, 2006

Paging Lastgirl!

https://twitter.com/catvalente/status/879189110426140674

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:34

Bilirubin: Feb 16, 2014; The sanctioned action is to CHUG

fits my needs posted:

https://twitter.com/Forbes/status/879147452326178816

Never trust a man who won't drink his own product I say

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:35

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Bert Roberge posted:

That sign speaks the truth.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:36

triple sulk: Sep 17, 2014

Bert Roberge posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAtpPNKnybA

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:36

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

Polo-Rican posted:

Let's just elect people who made things, yeah!! Let's elect whoever made the fidget spinner president

lol she couldnt even figure out how to make money off of it

low enegry SAD

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:37

Homeless Friend: Jul 16, 2007

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:37

C-Euro: Mar 20, 2010; Soiled Meat

Hey been travelling for a day or so, what'd I miss?

Trump kinda hinting that the Russia stuff is real, panic over another possibly retiring SC Justice, ???

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:38

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

Joementum posted:

I want to go on record as saying I do not want to receive the same medical treatment as the current President, assuming he is still seeing his regular physician.

me: *is clearly dying of morbid obesity*

doc: "healthiest horse I ever done saw!" *lights cigarette*

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:38

MaxxBot: Oct 6, 2003; you could have clapped

you should have clapped!!

I can't wait for SCOTUS justice JEB!

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:39

Shear Modulus: Jun 9, 2010

Alan Smithee posted:

me: *is clearly dying of morbid obesity*

doc: "healthiest horse I ever done saw!" *lights cigarette*

i told you not to go to mike pence for medical advice

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:39

Bert Roberge: Nov 28, 2003

triple sulk posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAtpPNKnybA

What's the deal with all these unskippable cut-scenes?

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:40

Montasque: Jul 18, 2003; Living in a hateful world sending me straight to Heaven

Joementum posted:

what's the theory of the case here? that Jill would not have run on a platform of critiquing capitalism and loving crystal therapy in 2016 were it not for Putin?

Jill was taking direct orders from MOSCOW.

The reds are everywhere.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:40

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

haha theres a podcast where levar burton reads short stories for the listener, because the generation that grew up w reading rainbow will absolutely eat that up

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:41

MaxxBot: Oct 6, 2003; you could have clapped

you should have clapped!!

Montasque posted:

Jill was taking direct orders from MOSCOW.

The reds are everywhere.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:41

A Handed Missus: Aug 6, 2012

Homeless Friend posted:

spoiler: he wouldn't

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:41

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

Fidel Castronaut posted:

R u Justin Timberlake?

I could have been next to him but they probably chose someone shorter on purpose lol

proly could have played him at street fighter alpha ex

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:41

Fuck You And Diebold: Sep 15, 2004; by Athanatos

Montasque posted:

This blocks your path. What do you do?

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:42

crazy cloud: Nov 7, 2012; by Cyrano4747; Lipstick Apathy

Zuck!

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:42

MaxxBot: Oct 6, 2003; you could have clapped

you should have clapped!!

crazy cloud posted:

Zuck!

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:43

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

Samurai Sanders posted:

The only people I have ever heard say positive things about Zuckerberg are Chinese.

not a difficult people to impress

trump is respected for being rich and white and hell you can get paid to be white and wear a suit in china

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:43

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

workshoppin a campaign slogan, need feedback:

zoinks! its zuck!!

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:45

The Nastier Nate: May 22, 2005; All aboard the corona bus!

HONK! HONK!; Yams Fan

tacodaemon posted:

https://twitter.com/CNBC/status/879162553913532417

Finally, some honesty from Kellyanne Conway

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:45

Fuck You And Diebold: Sep 15, 2004; by Athanatos

zork cuckerberg

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:46

babypolis: Nov 4, 2009

GobiasIndustries posted:

Kellyanne is just an awful loving bitch who gets paid to lie in the cruelest possible manner and I sincerely hope she dies soon.

shes a remarkably reprehensible human being, yeah

like trump is evil but lazy, but kellyanne really goes above and beyond in the service of evil

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:47

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

zuck the vote

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:48

Bert Roberge: Nov 28, 2003

Squizzle posted:

zuck the vote

https://twitter.com/MedicaIGuide/status/870133082736574464

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:49

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

zuck and ꟻuck

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:49

C-Euro: Mar 20, 2010; Soiled Meat

Also paging MIGF

Column: What to do with a broken Illinois: Dissolve the Land of Lincoln

quote:

Illinois is like Venezuela now, a fiscally broken state that has lost its will to live, although for the moment, we still have enough toilet paper.

But before we run out of the essentials, let's finally admit that after decade upon decade of taxing and spending and borrowing, Illinois has finally run out of other people's money.

Those "other people" include taxpayers who've abandoned the state. And now Illinois faces doomsday.

So as the politicians meet in Springfield this week for another round of posturing and gesturing and blaming, we need a plan.

And here it is:

Dissolve Illinois. Decommission the state, tear up the charter, whatever the legal mumbo-jumbo, just end the whole dang thing.

We just disappear. With no pain. That's right. You heard me.

The best thing to do is to break Illinois into pieces right now. Just wipe us off the map. Cut us out of America's heartland and let neighboring states carve us up and take the best chunks for themselves.

The group that will scream the loudest is the state's political class, who did this to us, and the big bond creditors, who are whispering talk of bankruptcy and asset forfeiture to save their own skins.

But our beloved Illinois has proved that it just doesn't deserve to survive.

So why not let our friendly neighbors like Indiana, Wisconsin, Iowa, Missouri and Kentucky just take the parts they want?

As you can see by the excellent "Kevorkian Illinois" map that accompanies this column, this plan is visionary.

The alternative is hell. Illinois hasn't had a state budget for years. The state continues to spend money it doesn't have, and the state's credit ratings have dropped, increasing the cost of borrowing more money we don't have to keep the rotten shebang going.

Bills pile up; Moody's Investor Service says taxpayers are on the hook for $251 billion in unfunded public union pension liabilities.

Boss Mike Madigan, king of the Democrats who control things, wants tax increases but no real structural reform to bring stability to The Venezuela of the Midwest.

And the whispers of bankruptcy won't help the average (remaining) taxpaying chumbolones like you and me who don't want to leave our homes but who'll get stuck with the bills.

Since our neighboring states are doing better, taking Illinois jobs and businesses and Illinois workers and taxpaying families, they might as well just take the rest of Illinois, too, dammit.

Wisconsin can have Chicago and begin calling it "South Milwaukee."

Naturally, Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel will fight this. He needs a job. And he'll most likely beg his friends at The New York Times and the Washington Post to write angry editorials to save him. And these will be full of concern for the republic and those dispossessed Midwestern salt-of-the-earth taxpaying Americans, as if.

Sadly, Wisconsin probably won't want Rahm, either. So to spare hurt feelings, I propose carving out 40 acres around the mayor's home so Rahm might be prince of his own country:

Rahmonia.

And Cook County Board President Toni "Taxwinkle" Preckwinkle will fight it, too, so she needs something to soothe her ambitions:

A grant of land as large as a case of the soda pop she taxes, so that she might stand on it and proclaim herself Queen of Taxwinkletopia.

If there are portions of Illinois that the other states don't want, they may be left as federal territory, a wilderness where only the strong survive and peasants and friendly propagandists kneel and beg for crumbs. You already know the name of this wasteland:

Madiganistan.

And in return for taking care of our politicians, Wisconsin will probably demand assets. Like the Milwaukee Cubs. The Beloit Blackhawks. The Sheboygan Bulls and the Fond du Lac Bears.

Indiana may want a large curvy slice of the former Illinois, so the state will be shaped more like a basketball. This will please Hoosiers to no end.

And Indiana also gets the Indianapolis White Sox and the hottest soccer team in America, the Indianapolis Fire.

Why not? Indiana is a great state, with friendly people and Mitch Daniels and Kilroy's in Bloomington.

Iowa can have part of the west. Missouri may also get a small piece. Kentucky can take southern Illinois, considering many on both sides of the border share Kentucky DNA, as did Abraham Lincoln.

A colleague told me he had reservations about sharing Illinois with the Bluegrass State.

"I wouldn't give Kentucky anything because A) it's the South and the former Illinois needs to stay in the Midwest, and B) their state government is a mess, too, with a governor who refuses to talk to certain reporters."

But beggars can't be choosers. If Illinois is dissolved as planned, we won't have a say in anything.

And though some in Kentucky might not respect "the media," the state does have excellent bourbon. I would allow Kentucky to send me countless barrels of its fine sipping spirit so that I might hold it in escrow, to make sure everything goes as planned.

I promise to sip their bourbon and light a cigar, and hum a few sad bars from that song of the former Illinois that no one sings anymore:

By thy rivers gently flowing, Illinois, Illinois

O'er thy prairies verdant growing, Illinois, Illinois

Comes an echo on the breeze, rustling through the leafy trees, Boss Madigan has us on our knees, Illinois, Illinois

Boss Madigan has us on our knees, Illinois.

Listen to the Chicago Way podcast � with John Kass and Jeff Carlin � and our guest, Cook County Sheriff Tom Dart, here: wgnradio.com/category/wgn-plus/thechicagoway.

jskass@chicagotribune.com

Copyright � 2017, Chicago Tribune

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:49

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

Bert Roberge posted:

https://twitter.com/MedicaIGuide/status/870133082736574464

man nature fuckin owns

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:50

That DICK!: Sep 28, 2010

the episode of hey arnold about lockjaw made me woke

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:52

GobiasIndustries: Dec 14, 2007; Lipstick Apathy

babypolis posted:

shes a remarkably reprehensible human being, yeah

like trump is evil but lazy, but kellyanne really goes above and beyond in the service of evil

What also drives me nuts with her is that when she gets called out for her blatant loving lies she turns on the persecution complex and acts completely outraged that people are...hell, not even asking her to tell the truth, just not be insultingly dishonest.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:52

Victory Position: Mar 16, 2004

gently caress You And Diebold posted:

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:52

Lastgirl: Sep 7, 1997; Good Morning!
Sunday Morning!

navyjack posted:

Paging Lastgirl!

https://twitter.com/catvalente/status/879189110426140674

i understood every word :blush:

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:52

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

That DICK! posted:

the episode of hey arnold about lockjaw made me woke

the dog?????

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:52

Bert Roberge: Nov 28, 2003

That DICK! posted:

the episode of hey arnold about lockjaw made me woke

https://twitter.com/YALiberty/status/878613854766366720

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:53

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

Bert Roberge posted:

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:53

Fuck You And Diebold: Sep 15, 2004; by Athanatos

C-Euro posted:

Also paging MIGF

Column: What to do with a broken Illinois: Dissolve the Land of Lincoln

not 100% but i dont think MIGF is allowed to post in here

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:53

Victory Position: Mar 16, 2004

C-Euro posted:

Also paging MIGF

Column: What to do with a broken Illinois: Dissolve the Land of Lincoln

they destroyed my psychiatric office because of the no budget :smith:

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:53

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 01:22

babypolis: Nov 4, 2009

GobiasIndustries posted:

What also drives me nuts with her is that when she gets called out for her blatant loving lies she turns on the persecution complex and acts completely outraged that people are...hell, not even asking her to tell the truth, just not be insultingly dishonest.

its the medias fault too, for having her on all the time when she is clearly incapable of telling a single truth. they want to nail her on some lie and make a viral youtube video titled "wolf blitzer DESTROYS kellyane conway in amazing interview" and then do the same thing tomorrow and every single day forever, when the correct response is to tell her lying rear end to gently caress off and never inviting her to the show again

us media is utter poo poo is what im saying

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:54

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