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curlys gold posted:satan lives in arizona and he’s still responsible for harlequin babies, ABC sitcoms, and everything else Can confirm, he's my roommate. Not a bad guy to room with really. Always smokes you out and invites all sorts of cool people over.
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Mar 29, 2018 23:27
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| # ? May 26, 2024 00:19 |
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Protestants suck, gently caress their lovely low-budget hallmark channel quality films
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Mar 29, 2018 23:43
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read as protestant sucking and loving their lovely low-budget hallmark channel quality films
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Mar 29, 2018 23:45
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Catholics usually have a lot of booze on hand. Another plus. E: I might go to church more often if I was allowed to get shitfaced on the blood of christ. Somebody give the pope this idea. old beast lunatic fucked around with this message at 23:49 on Mar 29, 2018 |
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Mar 29, 2018 23:45
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doctrinal catholics (~1-3% of them) suck worse than anything. but hypocritical and over the hill catholics (ie most practicing catholics) are pretty cool and chill tbh.
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Mar 29, 2018 23:49
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as far as I know an american eagle has never flown around inside a catholic church and smashed its loving head against a window
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Mar 29, 2018 23:53
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Zippy the Bummer posted:as far as I know an american eagle has never flown around inside a catholic church and smashed its loving head against a window eagles are free birds of the sky, and do not belong to any phony nation state.
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Mar 29, 2018 23:54
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Zane posted:doctrinal catholics (~1-3% of them) suck worse than anything. but hypocritical and over the hill catholics (ie most practicing catholics) are pretty cool and chill tbh. i was about to get indignant but you're not wrong. at least catholics have the balls to admit they gently caress up their faith all the time, evangelical protestants are the ones donating to republicans while googling "how do i get my dog to gently caress my wife"
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Mar 29, 2018 23:58
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catholic: ....yeah, i got real drunk last night an' i was still drunk during mass, slept in the pew(kd) and people had to step over me for communion. also i hosed that hot girl from the choir in the sacristy. shouldn't have done that protestant: let's pass the basket around for those poor starving kids in africa (so we can keep them there away from us)
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Mar 30, 2018 00:06
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Zane posted:doctrinal catholics (~1-3% of them) suck worse than anything. but hypocritical and over the hill catholics (ie most practicing catholics) are pretty cool and chill tbh. This guy gets it.
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Mar 30, 2018 00:24
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Smythe posted:eagles are free birds of the sky, and do not belong to any phony nation state. eagles are vermin and also not very personable
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Mar 30, 2018 00:51
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trying to keep up with hot takes
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Mar 30, 2018 00:52
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The current pope is named after a dude who would get hosed up then go talk to animals in the woods. Mexican catholics have a patron saint for narco traffickers. I go to midnight mass every Christmas drunk as gently caress with my loud rear end family. Being catholic fuckn' rules. 
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Mar 30, 2018 00:54
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The Wolf's Motives (a translation of "Los Motivos del Lobo" by Rubén Dario) That good man with a heart pure as a lily, a cherub's soul, a celestial tongue, diminutive, sweet Francis of Assis, met with a creature bloodthirsty and grim, bestial, fearsome, thieving and ravaging, nothing of pity or remorse in him. The Wolf of Gubbio, the terrible wolf,rabid, had ruined calm countrysides, ferociously slaughtered whole flocks by himself, devoured rams and ewe lambs--even shepherds, causing much carnage, much wastage of goods. Hunters armed with pitchforks and scythes fled at the sight of his long, yellow fangs. He tore out the throats of the dogs. Hopeless wives prayed and prepared to yield up their lives. Who could live in such dread of such pangs? Saint Francis went out. He looked for the wolf. He searched out the wolf in his den. And there, near the cave, he encountered the beast, which launched itself fiercely at him. With his sweet voice, good Francis, raising his hand, said to the mad carnivore, "Peace, Brother Wolf." Beast looked at man, in the sackcloth he always wore, and was less churlish--a bit--than before, uncurling his lip, his demeanor showing he'd changed his mind about dinner. "Very well, Brother Francis, what have you to say?" The saint exclaimed, "What! Does the law now decree you live by rapine and death? The blood that revoltingly runs down that muzzle from Hell, the hideous dread you cause and you spread,the cry of the farmer, the grieving and shrill lament of poor creatures lent us by Our Lord....Can't you temper your hellish ill-will? Are you infernal? Did Belial or Luzbelin sulphurous Hell inspire you with rancor eternal?" And the humbled great wolf: "Well, here the winter is hard. If fasting's a virtue, famine's a vice. In the forest, all ice, when there's nothing to eat ,I go nose out some livestock that's nice and at times eat both shepherd and sheep. "And the gore?I see more from a hunter on horseback, a goshawk on his wrist, or chasing the stag or the bear or the boar; and more often than not he bloodies and wounds and tortures, his horn's brassy blare drowning their sigh and their cry as they die, those creatures of God our True Lord. And nor was it just for mere hunger pangs he went out a-hunting." (A baring of fangs!) Responded good Francis, "In man there exists a kind of ferment or leaven. Though born into sin, he's intended for Heaven. It is sad, for the beast's soul is simple and pure. You are going to have from now on, I assure,always something tasty to eat but must in these hills leave forever in peace the shepherds, the sheep and their fleece.
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Mar 30, 2018 01:16
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This pope cannot change the fabric of the universe by decree, he may wish the hellish waters to receed, but that hellish tide will come regardless of his holy position
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Mar 30, 2018 01:16
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client posted:leave it to the loving libtard pope to retcon the movie little nicky. this aggression will not stand
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Mar 30, 2018 01:18
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Catholics like to molest underage boys and the Pope is cool with that .. pretty hosed up if you ask me
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Mar 30, 2018 01:19
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this is basically the pope emptyquoting some of my posts about christianity and its history. about me telling you whats up with regard to the afterlife years ago youre welcome
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Mar 30, 2018 02:07
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So, we can have our soul disappear for eternity or we can spend eternity living with Catholics? Is heaven the new hell?
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Mar 30, 2018 02:42
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I wonder if priests ever have fleeting moments of regret before embracing the void. Like, they probably realize right before death that they could have hosed more little boys if they weren't priests and get all pensive about it.
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Mar 30, 2018 02:52
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if any of you pr*testant fucks poo poo talk my pope i'll fuckin nail you to the church door 95 times bitchh
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Mar 30, 2018 02:59
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another big catholic lie you tell your children is that Easter is more important than Christmas. That is complete bullshit and you know it. You should be ashamed of yourselves.
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Mar 30, 2018 03:03
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Can’t scope the pope.
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Mar 30, 2018 03:38
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Now when Darth Dawkins strikes him down he will collapse into a pile of robes and white smoke
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Mar 30, 2018 03:43
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I'm retarded because I just recently gave up on humanity. That should have happened when I was five years old and realized that adult human beings with free will choose to spend thier free time at Catholic mass instead of doing anything.... anything else. God drat what a boring poo poo religion. God is dead and you're all retarded. Blasphemy owns.
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Mar 30, 2018 03:45
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old beast lunatic posted:I'm retarded because I just recently gave up on humanity. That should have happened when I was five years old and realized that adult human beings with free will choose to spend thier free time at Catholic mass instead of doing anything.... anything else. God drat what a boring poo poo religion. God is dead and you're all retarded. Blasphemy owns. Go to church lol
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Mar 30, 2018 04:12
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Jeffrey Dahmer posted:Purgatory is a hell, youre some non religious person, you end up in this zone between heaven and hell full of fetuses. I could never get past this zone in sonic 2
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Mar 30, 2018 04:17
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Dean of Swing posted:Go to church lol
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Mar 30, 2018 04:19
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If Hitler Youth Pope didn't say it's news to me!
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Mar 30, 2018 04:47
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Thinking back on it the whole confession thing was a pretty hosed up thing to force kids to do too. I remember waiting in line with the other kids after Sunday school. Was like an amusement park waiting line filled with fear and self loathing. Catholicism, not even once. E: haha the best part is I'd just hate myself more after confession because I didn't know what to confess and just made poo poo up. Then I had to go apologize to god for poo poo I made up and it didn't even count. VVV I did that as a kid because I was a really good kid and didn't have anything to confess and we had to confess something. I wasn't allowed to confess that I hate church because it is boring useless horse poo poo. old beast lunatic fucked around with this message at 05:26 on Mar 30, 2018 |
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Mar 30, 2018 05:13
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Question to catholics: Do you ever make up extra sins in your confessions? I'd be tempted to lie to the priest just to make my life seem more interesting. "I had a kebab on a friday and looked up butt pics on my computer" is just so lame.
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Mar 30, 2018 05:23
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And second question: do you actually confess the really bad stuff? That can't be easy. Sworn to secrecy or not, this fucker talks to my mom every week, no way am i telling him about the anime convention incident.
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Mar 30, 2018 05:27
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my grandma would tell the priest about rude thoughts she had about her friends at confession lol, he don't care if your sins aren't exciting, he's probably heard it all.
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Mar 30, 2018 05:30
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Icochet posted:Question to catholics: Do you ever make up extra sins in your confessions? I'd be tempted to lie to the priest just to make my life seem more interesting. "I had a kebab on a friday and looked up butt pics on my computer" is just so lame. If you’re going down the Ten Commandments list you generally have more than enough to say. Double if you’re 13 and discovered porn. I still don’t know what a “good faith” confession is supposed to be. I hear you have to say *everything* but I used to get caught up on all the times I spiritually jaywalked.
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Mar 30, 2018 05:47
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This falls in line with Mormonism. No hell, just outer darkness and the absence of God. Catholics are Mormon now. Sorry no more drinking!
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Mar 30, 2018 05:57
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What the gently caress? This is worse! Thanks a whole loving lot, Pope.
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Mar 30, 2018 05:58
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Icochet posted:Question to catholics: Do you ever make up extra sins in your confessions? I'd be tempted to lie to the priest just to make my life seem more interesting. "I had a kebab on a friday and looked up butt pics on my computer" is just so lame. It's okay to make up fake sins to confess and as a bonus you get to confess to making up fake sins at the end.
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Mar 30, 2018 05:59
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No but seriously I'd rather go to hell than oblivion. This is effing garbage.
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Mar 30, 2018 06:00
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Nuts and Gum posted:This falls in line with Mormonism. No hell, just outer darkness and the absence of God. are you mad? This would create a drunken atheist army. I say this as an east coast catholic raised atheist who now lives in the utah desert. I will lead the drunken atheist army. No more drinking, Catholics.
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Mar 30, 2018 06:26
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More Atheists are recruited from Catholicism than any other religion. Just another reason why Catholicism is the second best religion after Sikhs.
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Mar 30, 2018 06:27
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