Horrible Mechanical Failures: Looks Like the Tin Man's Undies After Taco Tuesday

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Horrible Mechanical Failures: Looks Like the Tin Man's Undies After Taco Tuesday

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Grim Up North: Dec 12, 2011

I think they were a pre LED thing that was supposed to keep glare down, but due to, uh, engineering to test specs they are not needed anymore as LED headlamps are measured as a unit while xenon bulbs were measured on their own, which leads to xenon bulbs needing a Scheinwerferreinigungsanlage and LEDs not.

# ? Sep 2, 2018 22:30

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 22:46

InitialDave: Jun 14, 2007; I Want To Believe.

It's mandated in the EU that HID setups must include self-levelling and washers.

Combat Theory posted:

The sighted paper last page was from 1978 where things like multi focal reflectors, DE-lenses and computerized light zone design were sci-fi poo poo. Hell most cars at that time used non Halogen bilux bulbs.

I won't dismiss that crap adjustments of fog lights can blind oncoming traffic and reduce low beam efficiency (although that mechanism seems dubious from a scientific standpoint?) but a modern fog light (and I mean modern like... Post 1989) will illuminate the absolute close quarter zone of in front of the car, where low beams usually don't reach at all or just with minimal light intensity due to light distribution.

The issue is lighting the area close to the car, it's not about the way you do it or whether that lighting extends higher/further as well.

# ? Sep 2, 2018 22:36

Colostomy Bag: Jan 11, 2016; C-Bangin' it

Grim Up North posted:

Scheinwerferreinigungsanlage

That was a good beer.

# ? Sep 2, 2018 22:40

EvenWorseOpinions: Jun 10, 2017

Colostomy Bag posted:

That was a good beer.

Takes second place to Donaudampfschiffsscheinwerferreinigungsanlagegesellschaft

# ? Sep 3, 2018 02:07

Combat Theory: Jul 16, 2017

Grim Up North posted:

I think they were a pre LED thing that was supposed to keep glare down, but due to, uh, engineering to test specs they are not needed anymore as LED headlamps are measured as a unit while xenon bulbs were measured on their own, which leads to xenon bulbs needing a Scheinwerferreinigungsanlage and LEDs not.

I'm not up to the legal standards of today, but the first LED and laser headlight systems were EU homologated by special inspection "Sonderzulassung" whereas HID lights could be homologated as standard equipment but in that case would always require the self leveling and the Scheinwerferreinigungsanlage

InitialDave posted:

It's mandated in the EU that HID setups must include self-levelling and washers.

The issue is lighting the area close to the car, it's not about the way you do it or whether that lighting extends higher/further as well.

Agreed. However with the correct alignment of both sets of lights it should be impossible for the fog lights to illuminate the main area of the low beams. The homologation dictates a sharp profile for the upper limits that includes the left low and right high profile and the upper limit of that profile is what gets the angle measurement. It should only be geometrically possible to have interference between the fog light and low beam areas if your low beams illuminate an unusually low area. Usually the focus of the light intensity is directed towards the top of the profile and peaks just below the limit line.

Something like this although it is quite a crappy headlight for an example..

Also on the topic of good beer names.

This is brewed up north here where I live and whenever Americans try to pronounce it it comes out as "death marcher" which sounds very metal.

Combat Theory fucked around with this message at 03:12 on Sep 3, 2018

# ? Sep 3, 2018 03:01

PainterofCrap: Oct 17, 2002; hey bebe

Colostomy Bag posted:

Well that's what I kinda figured. But my god, the pinnacle German engineering makes sure that those dumb things don't work (well maybe they do half-assed.)

For example on mine, every seven times (according to my manual, and I love the precision of detail) when I activate spray on the windshield the little bastards should pop up and spray my headlights.

I spent four hours figuring out that a single $8.99 14" wiper blade can be cut down to replace the baby headlight wiper blades on my '94 E320. $32/each for a refill from M-B is one hell of a motivator.

# ? Sep 3, 2018 05:26

90s Solo Cup: Feb 22, 2011; To understand the cup
He must become the cup

PainterofCrap posted:

I spent four hours figuring out that a single $8.99 14" wiper blade can be cut down to replace the baby headlight wiper blades on my '94 E320. $32/each for a refill from M-B is one hell of a motivator.

I'll keep that in mind if I ever put a W124 in my driveway.

# ? Sep 3, 2018 05:46

Shai-Hulud: Jul 10, 2008; But it feels so right!; Lipstick Apathy

Combat Theory posted:

Re: Fog lights

Rear fog lights are not only meant to be used in fog conditions. Over here in Germany they are by law required to be used under conditions with severely impaired visibility at 50m or below. While one of these conditions can be fog (mostly in Forrest areas) a much more common source is water spray on low absorbance tarmac or concrete roads at autobahn speed.

A rear fog ensures a visibility range of over 100m even under the worst visibility conditions usually encountered, which is a necessity since at autobahn speeds, 50m of visibility are in no way or shape adequate for an unexpected emergency braking maneuver.

Rear fog light use is explicitly only allowed in fog conditions with visibility of 50m or below. You are NOT allowed to use your rear fog light because of other reasons. Rain, snow, locusts... Doesn't matter if the visibility is below 50m for any other reason, it has to be fog!

# ? Sep 3, 2018 09:49

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

Colostomy Bag posted:

What is Germany's stance on a bunch of cheapo LED light bars?

They will legit inpound your vehicle.

# ? Sep 3, 2018 09:59

InitialDave: Jun 14, 2007; I Want To Believe.

Combat Theory posted:

Agreed. However with the correct alignment of both sets of lights it should be impossible for the fog lights to illuminate the main area of the low beams. The homologation dictates a sharp profile for the upper limits that includes the left low and right high profile and the upper limit of that profile is what gets the angle measurement. It should only be geometrically possible to have interference between the fog light and low beam areas if your low beams illuminate an unusually low area.

That's the point - there's no issue with "interference" of beam patterns at all, I don't understand why you're bringing the idea up.

Foglights illuminate the area low and close to the car. Headlights illuminate higher and further away. The foglights do not interfere with the headlights in terms of illumination, the area illuminated by the headlights is still lit with the same intensity. The issue is that the relative level of illumination close to the car with the foglights on affects how your eyesight handles it, and reduces your viewing distance.

It doesn't really matter with using them as additional corner lighting, as this is for scenarios where you're not looking as far ahead.

InitialDave fucked around with this message at 10:04 on Sep 3, 2018

# ? Sep 3, 2018 10:00

Combat Theory: Jul 16, 2017

InitialDave posted:

That's the point - there's no issue with "interference" of beam patterns at all, I don't understand why you're bringing the idea up.

Foglights illuminate the area low and close to the car. Headlights illuminate higher and further away. The foglights do not interfere with the headlights in terms of illumination, the area illuminated by the headlights is still lit with the same intensity. The issue is that the relative level of illumination close to the car with the foglights on affects how your eyesight handles it, and reduces your viewing distance.

It doesn't really matter with using them as additional corner lighting, as this is for scenarios where you're not looking as far ahead.

Ahhh okay now I understand what you mean. Sorry for the confusion and yeah I can see that happening to a degree, depending on the individuals eyesight and night adaption.

Shai-Hulud posted:

Rear fog light use is explicitly only allowed in fog conditions with visibility of 50m or below. You are NOT allowed to use your rear fog light because of other reasons. Rain, snow, locusts... Doesn't matter if the visibility is below 50m for any other reason, it has to be fog!

Interesting, you are right actually. I jumped over the formulation of the last sentence in that paragraph and while front fog lights are more universally allowed for sub optimal weather conditions, the RR Fogs are for sub 50m due to fog only.

Thanks for the correction.

Having said that I personally have been in several situations where the whole highway population turned them on due to water spray and given the visual conditions it seemed the right thing to do...

# ? Sep 3, 2018 11:05

Combat Theory: Jul 16, 2017

Also a not particularly horrible, but very annoying failure

The e39 that I restored after it was totaled by a truck had a very nasty leftover from that collision.

This is the floater of the right tank saddle and there's a tiny piece missing. Now I would not have thought this would have any implications on its functionality but apparently it resulted in the nasty tendency of this Gauge

being stuck just below the 15L line if there was any less than 15 liters of fuel. Which of course implies that the first time you drive it below 15L you get stranded in the Spanish pampa at 43�C in the shade.

E: after replacing the floater

Combat Theory fucked around with this message at 11:29 on Sep 3, 2018

# ? Sep 3, 2018 11:26

Shai-Hulud: Jul 10, 2008; But it feels so right!; Lipstick Apathy

Combat Theory posted:

Ahhh okay now I understand what you mean. Sorry for the confusion and yeah I can see that happening to a degree, depending on the individuals eyesight and night adaption.

Interesting, you are right actually. I jumped over the formulation of the last sentence in that paragraph and while front fog lights are more universally allowed for sub optimal weather conditions, the RR Fogs are for sub 50m due to fog only.

Thanks for the correction.

Having said that I personally have been in several situations where the whole highway population turned them on due to water spray and given the visual conditions it seemed the right thing to do...

Seriously. If visibility is below 50m for whatever reason just put on all the light you have. You'd have to meet a cop with a really bad day to get fined for that.

# ? Sep 3, 2018 11:35

StormDrain: May 22, 2003; Thirteen Letter

Shai-Hulud posted:

Seriously. If visibility is below 50m for whatever reason just put on all the light you have. You'd have to meet a cop with a really bad day to get fined for that.

Water spray is just chunky fog anyway.

# ? Sep 3, 2018 16:00

Saukkis: May 16, 2003; Unless I'm on the inside curve pointing straight at oncoming traffic the high beams stay on and I laugh at your puny protest flashes.
I am Most Important Man. Most Important Man in the World.

Combat Theory posted:

Illegal.

Anything that is not

-low beam
-high beam
-parking light
-fog light

Is classified as "Zusatzscheinwerfer", which means "additional light" the technical requirements for the light source are the same as for the beams, so any source other than halogen will require an automatic height adjustment system and a cleaning system.

Additionally they fall under specific adjustment requirements just like the fog lights and beams and may not be installed above the height of the main headlights.

Does that also apply if the LED bar is used as a extra high beam? Because those are legal in Finland and I would think the legislation has been harmonized. Also automatic height adjustment doesn't matter much with high beams.

About cleaning system, headlight washers are only needed with low beams that emit more than 2000 lumens. This results in the recent tendency of manufacturers limiting the lights to below that limit so they don't need to invest in washers.

# ? Sep 3, 2018 20:36

dissss: Nov 10, 2007; I'm a terrible forums poster with terrible opinions.

Here's a cat fucking a squid.

Combat Theory posted:

being stuck just below the 15L line if there was any less than 15 liters of fuel. Which of course implies that the first time you drive it below 15L you get stranded in the Spanish pampa at 43�C in the shade.

My Mazda 3 has done a similar thing since it had its fuel pump replaced. The mechanic reckoned it's because the new pump is a slightly different shape to a genuine one so has thrown things off a bit. Not a big issue once you know about it but awful if you don't.

Re front fogs - the only time I really use them is in dark parking lots at low speeds. They make it far easier to pick out painted markings and concrete islands that otherwise disappear in the rain.

# ? Sep 3, 2018 22:42

Combat Theory: Jul 16, 2017

Saukkis posted:

Does that also apply if the LED bar is used as a extra high beam? Because those are legal in Finland and I would think the legislation has been harmonized. Also automatic height adjustment doesn't matter much with high beams.

About cleaning system, headlight washers are only needed with low beams that emit more than 2000 lumens. This results in the recent tendency of manufacturers limiting the lights to below that limit so they don't need to invest in washers.

Combinations of EU homologation and german STZVO are a clusterfuck really. Half of the stuff on my car is EU homologation approved (my exhaust is homologated in Luxembourg I think) and a bunch of other stuff has German ABEs (the pre EU homologation for Germany) other stuff like the wheels have a KBA numbers which is a whole other pot of nope.

All in all I would say that's more a question for a lawyer really.

I have checked the Einzelnorm (singular norm) �50 section 10 StVZO for HID lamps that we use for xenon equipped cars and it does not specify any light intensity limits. It requires all HID low and high beams to be equipped with automatic height adjustment and cleaning system.

https://www.gesetze-im-internet.de/stvzo_2012/__50.html

I couldn't find the Sonderzulassung that Audi used for their first LED lights, I imagine it's kinda the industry standard for homologation of LED headlights nowadays. I'll go look around for it tomorrow.

Combat Theory fucked around with this message at 03:01 on Sep 4, 2018

# ? Sep 4, 2018 02:53

dpack_1: Mar 23, 2009; Let another's wounds be your warning

With all these strict rules and regs it's got me thinking. Trans-continental driving trips are a thing, and obviously every country has different regulations on what is 'legal' on a car or not.

What would happen if someone brought a perfectly legal (in their country of origin) car across the border into, say, Germany, and suddenly it breaks 18 different zergwenfeffleheischeize laws or whatever word they'd use for that poo poo?

Do foreigners just get a free pass for having their headlights .2� out of alignment and only cleans the headlights every 8 sprays of screen washer instead of 7?

# ? Sep 4, 2018 11:11

SEKCobra: Feb 28, 2011; Hi
Don't look at my site

We had a thing in vienna that cleared all that up a long time ago.

# ? Sep 4, 2018 11:17

Cojawfee: May 31, 2006; I think the US is dumb for not using Celsius

dpack_1 posted:

With all these strict rules and regs it's got me thinking. Trans-continental driving trips are a thing, and obviously every country has different regulations on what is 'legal' on a car or not.

What would happen if someone brought a perfectly legal (in their country of origin) car across the border into, say, Germany, and suddenly it breaks 18 different zergwenfeffleheischeize laws or whatever word they'd use for that poo poo?

Do foreigners just get a free pass for having their headlights .2° out of alignment and only cleans the headlights every 8 sprays of screen washer instead of 7?

Roadside euthanasia.

# ? Sep 4, 2018 12:49

track day bro!: Feb 17, 2005; #essereFerrari; Grimey Drawer

dpack_1 posted:

With all these strict rules and regs it's got me thinking. Trans-continental driving trips are a thing, and obviously every country has different regulations on what is 'legal' on a car or not.

What would happen if someone brought a perfectly legal (in their country of origin) car across the border into, say, Germany, and suddenly it breaks 18 different zergwenfeffleheischeize laws or whatever word they'd use for that poo poo?

Do foreigners just get a free pass for having their headlights .2� out of alignment and only cleans the headlights every 8 sprays of screen washer instead of 7?

I remember reading the story of someone with an E36 which was absolutely slammed to the ground who was driving from the uk to Austria for some massive car meet. He got pulled over by the police in Austria and was fined, can't remember if they towed him or forced him to change the rideheight though.

My car wouldn't have a chance of being road legal in Germany without throwing thousands of pounds worth of T�V certified parts at it and even then it would be even more difficult being a grey import from Japan with no compliance documents. Yet as long as I have appropriate insurance cover it's fine driving all over Europe, although there are a few places now where older cars are straight up banned or you need to buy a pass to visit.

It's still a bit of a grey area though, but it's going to be difficult to pull over every shitheap with Romainian/Bulgarian plates that isn't compliant and then you have cars that are from countries which aren't in the EU zone.

# ? Sep 4, 2018 13:24

PainterofCrap: Oct 17, 2002; hey bebe

dpack_1 posted:

With all these strict rules and regs it's got me thinking. Trans-continental driving trips are a thing, and obviously every country has different regulations on what is 'legal' on a car or not.

What would happen if someone brought a perfectly legal (in their country of origin) car across the border into, say, Germany, and suddenly it breaks 18 different zergwenfeffleheischeize laws or whatever word they'd use for that poo poo?

Do foreigners just get a free pass for having their headlights .2� out of alignment and only cleans the headlights every 8 sprays of screen washer instead of 7?

I think so. In 1975, when we moved from Switzerland to France, my dad had to replace the white headlamps on his '71 Opel Commodore with yellow ones. Every French-registered car had to have these weird yellow -tinted headlights (it didn't last more than a few years)...anyway...we drove all over Europe with them & never encountered an issue, even in Franco's Spain (the only time I ever saw my father visibly afraid was when he was followed by a Spainsh Federal cop on a motorcycle).

# ? Sep 5, 2018 01:10

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012; ERM... Actually I have stellar scores on the surveys, and every year students tell me that my classes are the best ones they’ve ever taken.

PainterofCrap posted:

I think so. In 1975, when we moved from Switzerland to France, my dad had to replace the white headlamps on his '71 Opel Commodore with yellow ones. Every French-registered car had to have these weird yellow -tinted headlights (it didn't last more than a few years)...

They were required from 1937 to 1993 in fact.

I've heard a variety of explanations, everything from suggesting that they reduce glare in the rain to making it easier to identify foreign vehicles during an invasion. It's not clear that anyone knows the real reason.

Sagebrush fucked around with this message at 01:41 on Sep 5, 2018

# ? Sep 5, 2018 01:38

Bass Ackwards: Nov 14, 2003; Anything can be used as a hammer if you try hard enough.

dpack_1 posted:

With all these strict rules and regs it's got me thinking. Trans-continental driving trips are a thing, and obviously every country has different regulations on what is 'legal' on a car or not.

What would happen if someone brought a perfectly legal (in their country of origin) car across the border into, say, Germany, and suddenly it breaks 18 different zergwenfeffleheischeize laws or whatever word they'd use for that poo poo?

Do foreigners just get a free pass for having their headlights .2� out of alignment and only cleans the headlights every 8 sprays of screen washer instead of 7?

�Cooler. Three veeks.�

# ? Sep 5, 2018 03:11

Queen Combat: Dec 29, 2017; Lipstick Apathy

metaxus posted:

�Chokey. Three veeks.�

Yes Ms. Trunchbull sir.

# ? Sep 5, 2018 03:19

Bloody Pom: Jun 5, 2011

An guy in Auckland blew himself up with a home-made oxy-acetylene ~~bomb~~ torch on Monday.

Victim's friend posted:

"I reached down for his arm... it was all shredded up'.

"I said, 'Howard I don't know where to grab you'.

# ? Sep 5, 2018 07:42

Combat Theory: Jul 16, 2017

Bloody Pom posted:

An guy in Auckland blew himself up with a home-made oxy-acetylene ~~bomb~~ torch on Monday.

"that link" posted:

When Miller arrived he was excited to tell O'Neill he'd managed to store two components of oxy-fuel, oxygen and acetylene, into one LPG bottle.

"He came down the drive and was saying he had this awesome new thing which he had managed to make work which was oxy-acetylene in a LPG bottle.

Okay this is pretty drat stupid.
I do wonder why people think that they found the secret to genius by doing what any sensible person would have done if it was possible and safe to do.

"look an entire industry is rear end bent on selling you acetylene and oxygen in separate bottles, that have completely different interiors, layouts and pressures... Wouldn't it be a kickass idea to mix the 2 into one so I can carry it around easily and don't have to use that injector torch? Genius!"

# ? Sep 5, 2018 12:20

MrYenko: Jun 18, 2012; #2 isn't ALWAYS bad...

Bloody Pom posted:

An guy in Auckland blew himself up with a home-made oxy-acetylene ~~bomb~~ torch on Monday.

Jesus that's the sort of thing where you grab the guy bodily and remove him from the property until you figure out what the hell to do with it. I'm pretty sure even the bomb squad would be like "nope, we're not going near that. We need to call SWAT to bring out a rifle."

(I'm assuming that there is SWAT in NZ.)

# ? Sep 5, 2018 13:00

The Door Frame: Dec 5, 2011; I don't know man everytime I go to the gym here there are like two huge dudes with raging high and tights snorting Nitro-tech off of each other's rock hard abs.

Combat Theory posted:

Okay this is pretty drat stupid.
I do wonder why people think that they found the secret to genius by doing what any sensible person would have done if it was possible and safe to do.

"look an entire industry is rear end bent on selling you acetylene and oxygen in separate bottles, that have completely different interiors, layouts and pressures... Wouldn't it be a kickass idea to mix the 2 into one so I can carry it around easily and don't have to use that injector torch? Genius!"

It's just like the jars of pre-mixed peanut butter and jelly, only instead of being gross, it ~~maims~~ shreds you and burns down your house

Also, isn't part of the point of an oxy-acetylene torch is that you can adjust the gas mixture on the fly to make cutting, welding, or brazing easier?

E: why would he try to attach the torch handle to the bottle? It's not MAP gas or something, it's a big torch and a big bottle

The Door Frame fucked around with this message at 13:11 on Sep 5, 2018

# ? Sep 5, 2018 13:03

bolind: Jun 19, 2005; Pillbug

It takes a certain amount of kaboom to turn a regular toolbox into this:

# ? Sep 5, 2018 13:09

InitialDave: Jun 14, 2007; I Want To Believe.

MrYenko posted:

(I'm assuming that there is SWAT in NZ.)

Sheep Wallabies And Tarantulas

# ? Sep 5, 2018 13:26

Vanagoon: Jan 20, 2008; Best Dead Gay Forums
on the whole Internet!

MrYenko posted:

Jesus that's the sort of thing where you grab the guy bodily and remove him from the property until you figure out what the hell to do with it. I'm pretty sure even the bomb squad would be like "nope, we're not going near that. We need to call SWAT to bring out a rifle."

(I'm assuming that there is SWAT in NZ.)

There ain't no way anyone would get into trouble for saying "You did what now?" and then dragging the poor dumb fool away from his inadvertently created bomb.

At least if NZ is not too much like the US. I dunno.

# ? Sep 5, 2018 13:45

Slavvy: Dec 11, 2012

Hey I live just a few streets away from this. Got a mate who knows the people involved and yes, LPG guy was a colossal idiot. The owner of the house has a history and would let pretty much anyone do whatever the gently caress they liked. That isn't the first time someone's died there, albeit not explosively.

# ? Sep 5, 2018 19:45

neonbregna: Aug 20, 2007

Bloody Pom posted:

An guy in Auckland blew himself up with a home-made oxy-acetylene ~~bomb~~ torch on Monday.

One weird trick Big Acetylene hates

# ? Sep 5, 2018 19:50

Dirt Road Junglist: Oct 8, 2010; We will be cruel
And through our cruelty
They will know who we are

Slavvy posted:

That isn't the first time someone's died there, albeit not explosively.

# ? Sep 5, 2018 19:51

Midjack: Dec 24, 2007

Slavvy posted:

Hey I live just a few streets away from this. Got a mate who knows the people involved and yes, LPG guy was a colossal idiot. The owner of the house has a history and would let pretty much anyone do whatever the gently caress they liked. That isn't the first time someone's died there, albeit not explosively.

So he already has a body count? Impressive.

# ? Sep 6, 2018 00:01