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ActusRhesus posted:And what the actual gently caress is purple prose? Hi, everyone. I lurk here though I'm not a lawyer. I wanted to be one when I was a kid but this thread has made me realize law school is not a good option.
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Feb 21, 2015 06:54
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Secks Cauldron posted:
Success!
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Feb 21, 2015 13:08
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I always start all contracts with KNOW ALL MEN BY THESE PRESENTS and end all affidavits FURTHER AFFIANT SAYETH NAUGHT
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Feb 21, 2015 14:11
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Well, I mean, why wouldn't you? Otherwise the contract wouldn't have binding legal consequences on the contracting individuals' corporate personhood form in admiralty court.
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Feb 21, 2015 14:28
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Phil Moscowitz posted:end all affidavits FURTHER AFFIANT SAYETH NAUGHT I do this. I got into am argument with a lawyer once who thought it was "sayeth not."
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Feb 21, 2015 16:02
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blarzgh posted:I do this. I got into am argument with a lawyer once who thought it was "sayeth not." I hate this almost more than anything. There are no more paragraphs, of course you're not saying anything further in this affidavit! Do you finish your briefs with "The End"?
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Feb 21, 2015 16:22
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COMES NOW
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Feb 21, 2015 17:13
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Best writing tip I ever got: "write like a person."
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Feb 21, 2015 17:14
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NOW INTO COURT, through undersigned counsel, comes your defendant PolluTrex LLC, and by these does aver to this Honorable Court the following
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Feb 21, 2015 17:19
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blarzgh posted:I do this. I got into am argument with a lawyer once who thought it was "sayeth not." A truly worthwhile and rewarding argument
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Feb 21, 2015 17:20
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I always feel like the "further affiant sayeth not" and "COMES NOW" were a practical joke on some poor first-year that really got out of hand
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Feb 21, 2015 17:29
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Phil Moscowitz posted:NOW INTO COURT, through undersigned counsel, comes your defendant PolluTrex LLC, and by these does aver to this Honorable Court the following A couple of guys I used to work with were also licensed in Nevada (people from Hawaii love to go to Vegas, get hammered, and slip and fall in hotels) and would start all of their Nevada pleadings with this stuff. I guess it can vary by jurisdiction what your judges expect to read.
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Feb 21, 2015 17:48
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evilweasel posted:I always feel like the "further affiant sayeth not" and "COMES NOW" were a practical joke on some poor first-year that really got out of hand actually i think it's "further affiant sayeth naught" 
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Feb 21, 2015 18:14
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When I walk into court, I bang my Staff thrice and pronounce, "now comes your plaintiff, the state, herein to prepare for your honors just decision."
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Feb 21, 2015 18:17
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Mons Hubris posted:actually i think it's "further affiant sayeth naught" "The dude didn't say anymore poo poo"
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Feb 21, 2015 18:18
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I kind of like COMES NOW but I can't get behind my office's convention of stating that this pleading is timely filed even if there's no reason why anyone would suspect that it isn't timely filed.
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Feb 21, 2015 18:38
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Roger_Mudd posted:"The dude didn't say anymore poo poo"
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Feb 21, 2015 18:44
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The Warszawa posted:Seriously, this and purple prose are the two worst things. I've seen some bad writing. One of the partners I write summary judgment motions for really, really likes to EMPHASIZE POINTS in annoying ways. A little piece of me dies each time. VVV I'd like to think that my writing doesn't need that kind of emphasis. Especially when I'm trying to subtly slip in that opposing counsel is dumber than a kindergartner. Cormack fucked around with this message at 19:45 on Feb 21, 2015 |
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Feb 21, 2015 19:33
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ActusRhesus posted:Best writing tip I ever got: "write like a person." Me too. I've got a friend who does appellate work and I am forever trying to convince him that appellate judges (more like clerks) aren't sitting around in some mahogany lined study sipping cognac and chortling at his pithy bon mots and irrelevant philosophical quotes. My briefs tend to be a lot more utilitiarian (Here's the issue, here's where the trial court hosed up, and here's what appellate courts did in similar situations). I'm the defense so I know I'm not going to win anyways, but I'd like to think the harried clerk who skimmed my brief appreciates that I got to the point instead of burying it under purple prose and oblique references to Plato's Republic. Cormack posted:One of the partners I write summary judgment motions for really, really likes to EMPHASIZE POINTS in annoying ways. My old English professor used to tell us that if you have to bold or underline a word in a sentence to emphasize its importance, its probably just a poorly written sentence. I still think that's true even (especially) in the legal profession. GamingHyena fucked around with this message at 19:38 on Feb 21, 2015 |
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Feb 21, 2015 19:35
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This tangent is making me not look forward to legal writing, which I guess my law school is highly ranked at.
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Feb 21, 2015 19:54
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Toona the Cat posted:This tangent is making me not look forward to legal writing, which I guess my law school is highly ranked at. 
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Feb 21, 2015 20:01
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Toona the Cat posted:This tangent is making me not look forward to legal writing, which I guess my law school is highly ranked at. no it's not, considering it's a school that advertises specialty rankings
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Feb 21, 2015 20:03
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I mean, to be honest, it means nothing to me. I'm just used to short and to the point writing as a newspaper editor.
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Feb 21, 2015 20:04
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Popero posted:I hate this almost more than anything. There are no more paragraphs, of course you're not saying anything further in this affidavit! Do you finish your briefs with "The End"? If I'm being honest with myself, I do it because it gives me a little titter.
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Feb 21, 2015 20:07
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Hot Dog Day #91 posted:When I walk into court, I bang my Staff thrice and pronounce, "now comes your plaintiff, the state, herein to prepare for your honors just decision." This is not the context in which I thought the words "I bang my staff" would come up in this thread.
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Feb 21, 2015 20:09
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Popero posted:I hate this almost more than anything. There are no more paragraphs, of course you're not saying anything further in this affidavit! Do you finish your briefs with "The End"? I center the word "Fin" with a bunch of asterisks and tildes around it like ~*~*~*~*~~*FIN~*~*~*~*~* So they know I'm serious. Probad posted:This is not the context in which I thought the words "I bang my staff" would come up in this thread. 
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Feb 21, 2015 20:20
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Toona the Cat posted:This tangent is making me not look forward to legal writing, which I guess my law school is highly ranked at. If you haven't done the legal writing course yet, you must be a 1L. So you still have time to get out before you're pot committed. Avoid lots more debt AND that writing class.
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Feb 21, 2015 20:24
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Look Sir Droids posted:If you haven't done the legal writing course yet, you must be a 1L. So you still have time to get out before you're pot committed. Avoid lots more debt AND that writing class. He's a 0L who wants to take out a reverse mortgage on his home that he owns outright to attend a T2 school. I'm sorry toona. There's still time though.
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Feb 21, 2015 21:03
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SlothBear posted:I center the word "Fin" with a bunch of asterisks and tildes around it like Im going to embed a flashing "under construction" gif in my documents so the court can tell I'll turn in an amended pleading later.
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Feb 21, 2015 21:07
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Hot Dog Day #91 posted:He's a 0L who wants to take out a reverse mortgage on his home that he owns outright to attend a T2 school. Christ. How has he gotten to this point in the thread and still wants to go to law school? Seriously, go anywhere but law school.
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Feb 21, 2015 21:12
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Look Sir Droids posted:Christ. How has he gotten to this point in the thread and still wants to go to law school? Please don't go to law school, Toona.
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Feb 21, 2015 21:16
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Its 2:15 on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, and I'm posting this from my office.
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Feb 21, 2015 21:18
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If I were a judge, I would end my orders with SO IT IS WRITTEN, SO SHALL IT BE DONE. Also, the fact that all our legislators are writing in their second language leads to some curious constructions in our statutes. See if you can spot the problem in section 6(b) of this public law (page 18).
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Feb 21, 2015 23:07
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echopapa posted:If I were a judge, I would end my orders with SO IT IS WRITTEN, SO SHALL IT BE DONE. I'm just imagining a statute that reads: "Notwithstanding any provision of Commissioner of Fire and Emergency Medical Services, only a person licensed pursuant to Commissioner of Fire and Emergency Medical Services may provide to retail customers any of the services listed in Commissioner of Fire and Emergency Medical Services"
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Feb 21, 2015 23:15
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Yall caint write fuh sheeit
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Feb 22, 2015 02:31
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Hot Dog Day #91 posted:He's a 0L who wants to take out a reverse mortgage on his home that he owns outright to attend a T2 school. Don't do this, oh god.
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Feb 22, 2015 03:35
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Hot Dog Day #91 posted:He's a 0L who wants to take out a reverse mortgage on his home that he owns outright to attend a T2 school.
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Feb 22, 2015 04:33
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I never said I wanted to, all I asked was if borrowing about 15% of my equity was a good idea which was roundly panned and I discarded the idea.
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Feb 22, 2015 05:25
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Toona the Cat posted:I never said I wanted to, all I asked was if borrowing about 15% of my equity was a good idea which was roundly panned and I discarded the idea. Are you still planning on going to law school, and if you are, where are you planning on going/at what cost?
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Feb 22, 2015 18:39
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Yes, Duquesne, about $7,500 a year after a non-GPA reliant scholarship.
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Feb 22, 2015 18:45
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