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Suspect Bucket
Jan 15, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR

Timby posted:

So, I have this sitting in my fridge defrosted:



(Don't ask, my mom stuffed it in our freezer the last time she visited. The butter knife is there for a size illustration.)

What the hell can I do with this tough piece of crap for dinner? No sous-vide setup, but I do have a slow cooker.

That's a perfect bit of stew meat there. A cow died to give you that meat, be respectful. Make beef stew. http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2016/01/all-american-beef-stew-recipe.html Except instead of a dutch oven, sear everything that needs pre-cooking in a pan, then transfer to the slow cooker to cook until the meat is tender.

Suspect Bucket fucked around with this message at 02:06 on Jun 28, 2017

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Human Tornada
Mar 4, 2005

I been wantin to see a honkey dance.
Re: peppers, you want to cut them open so the seeds/membranes release their spicy oils into the surrounding food.

skooma512
Feb 8, 2012

You couldn't grok my race car, but you dug the roadside blur.
I cut them lengthwise and then in half. I'll try cutting them more next time!

GrAviTy84
Nov 25, 2004

Re peppers: if you really want it to permeate the dish, scrape out the veins and make a paste in a mortar and pestle with some oil. Depending on how many people you do, it might be inescapable.

hakimashou
Jul 15, 2002
Upset Trowel

GrAviTy84 posted:

Re peppers: if you really want it to permeate the dish, scrape out the veins and make a paste in a mortar and pestle with some oil. Depending on how many people you do, it might be inescapable.

How many people would you say is 'safe' to do like that?

AVeryLargeRadish
Aug 19, 2011

I LITERALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO NOT BE A WEIRD SEXUAL CREEP ABOUT PREPUBESCENT ANIME GIRLS, READ ALL ABOUT IT HERE!!!

skooma512 posted:

I cut them lengthwise and then in half. I'll try cutting them more next time!

That should work, basically you can expect more of the flavor of the ingredient to get into the rest of the dish by increasing the surface area of said ingredient. For instance if you put whole garlic cloves in something it's much less garlicky than if you crush them to paste.

rgocs
Nov 9, 2011
Re: chili peppers.

To make chili peppers release more of their capsaicin you can simply put the chili pepper on a table or cutting board, put you palm on top and press down on it while you roll it back and forth. This will make the veins inside pop and the capsaicin will be released. Then you can cut the chili and use it, the capsaicin should spread around your dish better.

In Mexico you can get "chiles toreados" which are treated this way, then slightly roasted/panfried/grilled. The name "toreados" comes from bull-fighting, it's what the bull-fighter ("torero") does to the bull, making the bull angry; hence, you're making your chilli peppers angrier (i.e. hotter).

Totally Reasonable
Jan 8, 2008

aaag mirrors

Are there any dishes that get noticeably improved by using a fluid gel, or are they just a thing for bored food geeks? Any time I get half tempted to do one, I just end up making a sauce with the same flavors instead.

Pookah
Aug 21, 2008

🪶Caw🪶





Timby posted:

So, I have this sitting in my fridge defrosted:



(Don't ask, my mom stuffed it in our freezer the last time she visited. The butter knife is there for a size illustration.)

What the hell can I do with this tough piece of crap for dinner? No sous-vide setup, but I do have a slow cooker.

I've reasonably successfully roasted Round a few times and what has worked for me is to keep it very much on the rare side, rest well, then slice very thinly - this tends to counteract the basic toughness and dryness of the meat. Stewing has never worked for me, its just too dry so you end up with little bullets of grey tastelessness.

Nowadays I use round roast/steak almost exclusively in stir-frys, with a good marinade and fast cooking you end up with tasty, tender meat and the chewiness is avoided by the thin slicing. This Fuschia Dunlop recipe is extremely easy and very tasty:

https://jonoandjules.com/2014/06/10/stir-fried-beef-with-black-bean-chilli/

It's also really good with onions and fine green beans as well as peppers.

Sir Kodiak
May 14, 2007


GrAviTy84 posted:

Re peppers: if you really want it to permeate the dish, scrape out the veins and make a paste in a mortar and pestle with some oil.

Note, if you're new to working with peppers, that this paste is the sort of thing you're probably better of not touching with bare skin, and very much the sort of thing you don't want to accidentally transfer to sensitive areas because you touched one and then the other.

SymmetryrtemmyS
Jul 13, 2013

I got super tired of seeing your avatar throwing those fuckin' glasses around in the astrology thread so I fixed it to a .jpg

Sir Kodiak posted:

Note, if you're new to working with peppers, that this paste is the sort of thing you're probably better of not touching with bare skin, and very much the sort of thing you don't want to accidentally transfer to sensitive areas because you touched one and then the other.

This is a wise post, written by a wise man.

Flash Gordon Ramsay
Sep 28, 2004

Grimey Drawer
Don't listen to these guys. The ol' pepper finger is a great way to spice up your love life.

The Midniter
Jul 9, 2001

I've lost count how many times I've given myself the ol' red eyes by taking my contacts out with spicy fingers, then again putting them in the next morning.

CrazySalamander
Nov 5, 2009

The Midniter posted:

I've lost count how many times I've given myself the ol' red eyes by taking my contacts out with spicy fingers, then again putting them in the next morning.

You take out your contacts without washing your hands?

JawKnee
Mar 24, 2007





You'll take the ride to leave this town along that yellow line
do not go to take a piss with peppery fingers

on the other hand, you will never make this mistake again if you do

vermin
Feb 28, 2017

Help, I've turned into a manifestation of mental disorders as viewed through an early 20th century lens sparked by the disparity between man and modern society and I can't get up
If you're going to rub capsaicin into your eyeballs, please wait to slice the onions later. It does not make for a good combination and will ruin your salsa making experience.

Qubee
May 31, 2013




JawKnee posted:

do not go to take a piss with peppery fingers

on the other hand, you will never make this mistake again if you do

one of the very, very, very few perks of being circumcised is the fact that I'll never get pepper-dick. It's one of the few ways I keep my sanity about the whole thing, I tote up the solid 3 perks of having been mutilated and it makes the pain that little bit easier to bear.

GrAviTy84
Nov 25, 2004

Q8ee posted:

one of the very, very, very few perks of being circumcised is the fact that I'll never get pepper-dick.

uh what.

Hauki
May 11, 2010


Q8ee posted:

one of the very, very, very few perks of being circumcised is the fact that I'll never get pepper-dick. It's one of the few ways I keep my sanity about the whole thing, I tote up the solid 3 perks of having been mutilated and it makes the pain that little bit easier to bear.

in what way does having less skin there change the capsaicin/cock calculus

vermin
Feb 28, 2017

Help, I've turned into a manifestation of mental disorders as viewed through an early 20th century lens sparked by the disparity between man and modern society and I can't get up

Q8ee posted:

one of the very, very, very few perks of being circumcised is the fact that I'll never get pepper-dick. It's one of the few ways I keep my sanity about the whole thing, I tote up the solid 3 perks of having been mutilated and it makes the pain that little bit easier to bear.

I dare you to rub a fresh sliced jalapeno all over it and report back here

JawKnee
Mar 24, 2007





You'll take the ride to leave this town along that yellow line

Q8ee posted:

one of the very, very, very few perks of being circumcised is the fact that I'll never get pepper-dick. It's one of the few ways I keep my sanity about the whole thing, I tote up the solid 3 perks of having been mutilated and it makes the pain that little bit easier to bear.

I would encourage you to not spread misinformation - you will still get pepper dick

prayer group
May 31, 2011

$#$%^&@@*!!!

Q8ee posted:

If I've used dark muscovado for dark brown sugar in my cookies, it should be alright, yeah? Cause this mix is smelling awfully sugary, like sickly sweet sugary. I'm worried dark muscovado was maybe too strong a sugar to use for dark brown? It's the stuff my mum used to sprinkle in tiny quantities over our hot porridge for breakfast, and it was super sweet. The recipe called for 198g of Dark Sugar, and 99g of granulated (I used golden caster sugar for this)...

Update: Yup, cookies turned out like cardboard. Knew that sugar was fucky when I put it in. It was dry as gently caress when it was meant to be chewy, and I'm 100% sure it's cause of the muscovado sugar.

Having seen you in this thread attempting to make things before, you need to stop making substitutions in recipes that are new to you. I think it's been just about every time you've reported a failure here that you casually mentioned you swapped out one or three ingredients in a recipe you've never made before, and I don't mean to sound harsh but you haven't yet seemed to notice that that's your overarching problem.

Cloks
Feb 1, 2013

by Azathoth

Q8ee posted:

one of the very, very, very few perks of being circumcised is the fact that I'll never get pepper-dick. It's one of the few ways I keep my sanity about the whole thing, I tote up the solid 3 perks of having been mutilated and it makes the pain that little bit easier to bear.

:yikes:

The Midniter
Jul 9, 2001

CrazySalamander posted:

You take out your contacts without washing your hands?

Soap and water doesn't really help against capsaicin.

Submarine Sandpaper
May 27, 2007


The Midniter posted:

Soap and water doesn't really help against capsaicin.

I was able to get a guy in college to bleach his hands and then D with this little fact.

Qubee
May 31, 2013




poop dood posted:

Having seen you in this thread attempting to make things before, you need to stop making substitutions in recipes that are new to you. I think it's been just about every time you've reported a failure here that you casually mentioned you swapped out one or three ingredients in a recipe you've never made before, and I don't mean to sound harsh but you haven't yet seemed to notice that that's your overarching problem.

I didn't think muscovado would be a substitution, seeing as it's a dark brown sugar. I just thought it'd impart a stronger flavour. I bought the sugar explicitly to use in the cookie recipe, as I figured it was dark brown, and it was sugar, so I'd be okay. And don't worry about being harsh, it's constructive criticism, and I've definitely been substituting way too often. I ate some of the cookies today, it seems leaving them out overnight softened them up abit, but I'm thinking that's just due to ambient humidity and them being a little stale.

That being said, sometimes breaking off from the recipe and doing what you feel is right can leave you with food that you enjoy way more than if you had followed the recipe to the dot.

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

Q8ee posted:

one of the very, very, very few perks of being circumcised is the fact that I'll never get pepper-dick. It's one of the few ways I keep my sanity about the whole thing, I tote up the solid 3 perks of having been mutilated and it makes the pain that little bit easier to bear.

you can still get spicy scrotum

Tendales
Mar 9, 2012

Q8ee posted:

one of the very, very, very few perks of being circumcised is the fact that I'll never get pepper-dick. It's one of the few ways I keep my sanity about the whole thing, I tote up the solid 3 perks of having been mutilated and it makes the pain that little bit easier to bear.

Did... did they cut off the whole wang? They're not supposed to cut off the whole wang. Demand a refund.

Qubee
May 31, 2013




Tendales posted:

Did... did they cut off the whole wang? They're not supposed to cut off the whole wang. Demand a refund.

the entire wang is gone. it's tradition to plant the severed wang in fertile soil, to allow it to grow into a fully-fledged tree. it symbolises ridding yourself of sin. it's perennial, and around August it produces the most delicious testicle bulbs you'll ever eat.

Submarine Sandpaper
May 27, 2007


I give myself pepper dick daily to prep for the coming riots

moller
Jan 10, 2007

Swan stole my music and framed me!

Q8ee posted:

That being said, sometimes breaking off from the recipe and doing what you feel is right can leave you with food that you enjoy way more than if you had followed the recipe to the dot.

When I'm making a dish I often consult a spectrum of recipes as pointers on what would or would not be good to use/do.

However, baking/baked goods are (along with canning) the rare instances in which even someone comfortable in the kitchen should follow recipes EXACTLY. Baking is mystical received knowledge alchemy - you don't need to understand why it works to do it, but just follow the drat train, CJ.

Eeyo
Aug 29, 2004

About your cookies,

Could you have just baked them too much? It's very easy to go from underdone to overdone, especially if they're dark (because of super-dark sugar), and especially if you're not used to baking cookies in your oven. Unless it was very dry, I don't see why they would immediately turn to cardboard. A lot of the moisture comes from the eggs anyway, plus a bit from the butter and I'd expect muscovado to have more moisture per mass than brown sugars.

Typically you want to start thinking about removing cookies when they're starting to slightly brown if you want chewy cookies. Any significant browning and they'll turn crispy.

That said, I'd advocate for just regular brown sugar, but mostly because I wouldn't want super molassesey cookies.

LLSix
Jan 20, 2010

The real power behind countless overlords

I got some rump roasts as part of a meat bundle from the local butcher and I have no idea what to do with them. Marinate them overnight or throw them in the slow cooker I guess? Can you help me out with some good recipes for rump roast? Preferably recipes without onions since my wife won't eat onions.

Invisible Ted
Aug 24, 2011

hhhehehe
I have a ton of basil, thai basil, peppermint, and oregano from my balcony herb garden. What are some recipe ideas that incorporate these, besides red sauce and pesto for basil? I'd especially like to use the thai basil in something. I'm also growing thai peppers, but they aren't quite ripe yet.

E: Not all in one recipe, I mean.

Qubee
May 31, 2013




Basil and brie sandwiches are great, moreso if you're using homebaked bread. That's a way to eat through a lot of basil you've grown at home. Tastes bloody delicious and is such a simple way to use it, if you're ever feeling like a quick and easy way.

Lawnie
Sep 6, 2006

That is my helmet
Give it back
you are a lion
It doesn't even fit
Grimey Drawer
Bundle the peppermint and hang it upside down in a sunny window to dry. Make tea with it.

GrAviTy84
Nov 25, 2004

Invisible Ted posted:

I have a ton of basil, thai basil, peppermint, and oregano from my balcony herb garden. What are some recipe ideas that incorporate these, besides red sauce and pesto for basil? I'd especially like to use the thai basil in something. I'm also growing thai peppers, but they aren't quite ripe yet.

E: Not all in one recipe, I mean.

Basil and mint are used a ton in larb. Mint is great in salads. Thai basil can be used en masse in gra pow and drunken noodles. Oregano can be dried easily.

My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010

Bob Morales posted:

you can still get spicy scrotum
dominic you rat

I have some udon noodles, tofu and spring onions in my fridge, what's a good way to make them into something tasty (am willing to add other ingredients, for clarity's sake)?

Suspect Bucket
Jan 15, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR

LLSix posted:

I got some rump roasts as part of a meat bundle from the local butcher and I have no idea what to do with them. Marinate them overnight or throw them in the slow cooker I guess? Can you help me out with some good recipes for rump roast? Preferably recipes without onions since my wife won't eat onions.

Is it like top round? Cut into a steak, marinate it in some soy sauce, Italian dressing, and Wostershire sauce, for at least 3 hours, preferably overnight. Throw steak on a hot grill and cook till medium rare 155°f135°f, gently caress, you're all right sorry had a brain fart there.. Remove from grill and let rest for 20 minutes. Slice thin against the grain, serve with green beans. Bam, you got a London Broil.

Suspect Bucket fucked around with this message at 01:41 on Jun 30, 2017

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CrazySalamander
Nov 5, 2009

Invisible Ted posted:

I have a ton of basil, thai basil, peppermint, and oregano from my balcony herb garden. What are some recipe ideas that incorporate these, besides red sauce and pesto for basil? I'd especially like to use the thai basil in something. I'm also growing thai peppers, but they aren't quite ripe yet.

E: Not all in one recipe, I mean.

Someone needs to summon that basil guy on the forums, he probably has tons of recipes.

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