LATE BREAKING NEWS: Psycho in Colorado demolishes town with bulldozer

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > LATE BREAKING NEWS: Psycho in Colorado demolishes town with bulldozer

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Lopside Fundip: Aug 15, 2001

quote:

LLJKSoviet came out of the closet to say:
Just thinking about the cops pinging away at the bulldozer with their pistols to no avail makes me smile.

"JUST A FEW MORE, WE ALMOST GOT IT"

I pray to god that he levels the whole town then begins to menace other towns and that they have to construct another tank/bulldozer to take him down a la battlebots.

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# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:25

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 00:01

CHEF!!!: Feb 22, 2001

I hope someone videotapes the police ripping open the hatch to his bulldozer and shooting him in the head, just like that guy who drove through some town in California in a tank.

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:25

Ramrod Hotshot: May 30, 2003

This reminds me of one of those Battlefield 1942 games when some jackass on your team gets in a tank and blows up your teams other tanks, but no one can stop him because the server doesn't have damage from friendly fire. Or something.

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:25

wayfinder: Jul 7, 2003

breaking news :lol:

i bet he's going to target the local drive through next

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# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:25

V-Men: Aug 15, 2001; Don't it make your dick bust concrete to be in the same room with two noble, selfless public servants.

And they say you can't fight city hall.

Just say no to sex with pro-lifers.

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:25

Fryhole: Aug 13, 2003; by Ozma

This guy should get a medal :coal:

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# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:26

Skrewloose: Feb 11, 2002

Bet they wish they'd sprung for the rocket launcher now. When will police stations ever learn.

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:26

agentq: Dec 23, 2003; Frag out

can anyone confirm this story elsewhere?

Preferably with pictures or video!

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:26

TEMPLE GRANDIN OS: Dec 10, 2003; ...blyat

If he welded/fabricated the armour panels on this thing, maybe he welded himself inside and the authoritarrrrrs won't be able to get at him...

You can wash my balls with a warm wet rag.

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:26

Lead Pipe Cinch: Mar 10, 2003; Heavy Metal Bakesale

quote:

ArcticBanana came out of the closet to say:
Clearly Vice City is to blame.

The joke has already been made (multiple times) with a game actually relevant to the situation, the guy isn't pulling drive-bys in a golf cart dressed like Don Johnson. Get with the program.

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:26

Angry Communist: Oct 11, 2003; I'm about to break!

quote:

Tombstone came out of the closet to say:
So, how long can you run a bulldozer without refuleing?

I'd say about an hour or two, considering the sheer mass of that thing

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:26

Soviet: Jul 17, 2003; stick it in me

quote:

S.Liberace came out of the closet to say:

I pray to god that he levels the whole town then begins to menace other towns and that they have to construct another tank/bulldozer to take him down a la battlebots.

We need to organize some sort of refueling campaign in which we continuously refuel the bulldozer from the air so this brave man can fulfill his destiny and demolish all of Colorado.

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:27

Keanu Grieves: Dec 30, 2002

loving sweet!

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:27

iccy: May 30, 2003; BOOBIES!

holy gently caress. that's awesome.

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:27

Kwagga: Jun 11, 2002; I am small

quote:

LLJKSoviet came out of the closet to say:

We need to organize some sort of refueling campaign in which we continuously refuel the bulldozer from the air so this brave man can fulfill his destiny and demolish all of Colorado.

I'll go warm up Airwolf.

凸[◣_◢]凸 put this in your sig if you support kwagga凸[◣_◢]凸

cat scratch achiever posted:

im gonna smoke the poo poo out of you[r pole,] kwagga

TAFF IS A oval office

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:28

Mayor Wilkins: Nov 18, 2002; by Lowtax

quote:

TedKoppel came out of the closet to say:
I shouldn't be rooting for this man, but I am. I hope he doesn't hurt anyone too badly.

I'm pretty sure people will have ample time to evacuate the building before the bulldozer tears it up. I'm sure people are running into buildings shouting "HEY GUYS THE BULLDOZER IS COMING SO WE OUGHT TO GET OUT NOW!" and I'm sure people are saying "HOLY poo poo, OKAY!" and doing it. I'm sure no civilians will get hurt, but some of the cops might. They need some tough, smart cops to take this guy down.

That said, I think it's time to call in Riggs and Murtaugh.

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# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:28

Lead Pipe Cinch: Mar 10, 2003; Heavy Metal Bakesale

quote:

LLJKSoviet came out of the closet to say:

We need to organize some sort of refueling campaign in which we continuously refuel the bulldozer from the air so this brave man can fulfill his destiny and demolish all of Colorado.

And then...UTAH!

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:28

who`: May 9, 2003; hello.jpg

I'd hate to be the police there right now.

spread the virus, crinkle crinkle

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:28

Entrepreneur: Jan 29, 2004

quote:

Mayor McCheese came out of the closet to say:
I blame the makers of Blast Corps. for the N64. It's been building to this for years I say!

Edit: :(

:lol: that game was great.

Too bad there's no video of this stuff :(

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:29

TedKoppel: Nov 30, 2002; They sure look ripe to me.

quote:

LLJKSoviet came out of the closet to say:
We need to organize some sort of refueling campaign in which we continuously refuel the bulldozer from the air so this brave man can fulfill his destiny and demolish all of Colorado.

As much as I wish he'd picked whatever town in Texas ClearChannel is in, you're right.

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:29

Harper: Aug 12, 2003

The cops need to shoot it when the air vent lifts up and flashes red, but only while wearing the special goggles found in the ruins of the old town hall.

But only the ruins AFTER level 7, but before you beat Old Lady McGee and her ninty four cats.

Harper fucked around with this message at 23:33 on Jun 4, 2004

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:29

Ysa: Feb 3, 2002; secret service get all the pussy

:patriot: Every child's dream is coming true :patriot:

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:30

Lead Pipe Cinch: Mar 10, 2003; Heavy Metal Bakesale

quote:

Harper came out of the closet to say:
The cops need to shoot it when the air vent lifts up and flashes red, but only while wearing the special goggles found in the ruins of the old town hall.

Dude, spoilers.

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:30

N Usquam: Aug 31, 2001

This is just loving cool. If I ever lose my mind, I know who I'm going to emulate!

Forgive this sig

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:31

Droopy Goines: Aug 2, 2003; Presented in DTS ES 6.1 where available.

This brave man lives my dream. :patriot::911::patriot:

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:31

Angry Communist: Oct 11, 2003; I'm about to break!

quote:

Harper came out of the closet to say:
The cops need to shoot it when the air vent lifts up and flashes red, but only while wearing the special goggles found in the ruins of the old town hall.

But do they have the wizard key?

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:31

Jailbrekr: Apr 8, 2002; A TOWN LEVELED BY AN EXPLOSION? DOZENS LIKELY KILLED? OH GOD LET ME SEE THAT SWEET VIDEO OH MY GOD I'M CUMMING

When I snap, and this is a distinct possibility, this is how I want to go out. Pilotting an armoured bulldozer, spreading death and destruction in my path.

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:31

Pig Newton: Jun 4, 2004

This guy actually plated the vehicle himself? I hope he thought of a practical way to refuel. They'll try to jump him at the next gas station.

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:31

vanbags: Dec 6, 2003; An ape.

Why haven't they brought in a sniper yet?

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:32

dimva: Jul 7, 2003; ^^^ The same people who find this funny created the Internet. Figures.

This man is a hero.

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:32

FAN OF NICKELBACK: Apr 9, 2002

I would hate to have to pay the tax increase that town's going to see. Town halls aren't cheap :mad:

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:32

Inside Out Mom: Jan 9, 2004; Franklin B. Znorps
Dignity, Class, Internet

Hooray! Any chance that there is a video?

Buy the ticket, take the ride.
Steam Profile: DungeonsandDragQueens

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:33

Devil Bird Thing: Mar 12, 2001; Pardon me, do you have a moment to speak about our Lord & Savior, Devil Bird Thing?

The gently caress? Did Bushman decide to go try out one of his toys in Colorado or something?

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:33

Mayor Wilkins: Nov 18, 2002; by Lowtax

quote:

Ebolarama came out of the closet to say:
This guy actually plated the vehicle himself? I hope he thought of a practical way to refuel. They'll try to jump him at the next gas station.

Seriously, you don't take the time to armor plate your bulldozer and plan a destructive rampage without also planning a way to refuel your bulldozer without getting caught by the cops, right? Right? :(

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# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:33

Krakkles: May 5, 2003

This is loving awesome :)

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:33

fuckingtest: Mar 31, 2001; Just evolving, you know?
Right Here, Right Now.

Where are the loving pictures!?

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:34

.ardon: Jan 21, 2004; by Fragmaster

quote:

agentq came out of the closet to say:
can anyone confirm this story elsewhere?

Preferably with pictures or video!

"Witnesses Describe Scene Of Rampage In Granby"
http://news4colorado.com/topstories/local_story_156173524.html

I can't play it though.

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# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:34

KillingPablo: Apr 5, 2003; WHOO! I am DEFINITELY not afraid of the fucking POLICE right now!

Witnesses are saying that he is driving a Catepillar D9R bulldozer and with a full tank of gas should be able to keep going for another few hours.

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:34

TedKoppel: Nov 30, 2002; They sure look ripe to me.

quote:

Invader Tim came out of the closet to say:
I would hate to have to pay the tax increase that town's going to see. Town halls aren't cheap :mad:

Oh, why can't you just spring a coupla extra bucks so a man can find some joy in life, hater? :mad:

Also, Mayor Wilkins, Riggs and Murtagh would destroy more poo poo than this guy could by himself, so I think S. Liberace's idea is still the way to go.

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:34

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 00:01

Pig Newton: Jun 4, 2004

quote:

vanbags came out of the closet to say:
Why haven't they brought in a sniper yet?

Is bulldozing a town really a reason to kill a man?

wait

# ? Jun 4, 2004 23:34

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > LATE BREAKING NEWS: Psycho in Colorado demolishes town with bulldozer

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