LATE BREAKING NEWS: Psycho in Colorado demolishes town with bulldozer

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > LATE BREAKING NEWS: Psycho in Colorado demolishes town with bulldozer

Pyros: Mar 24, 2003; The Leper Messiah

quote:

He said that the machinery appeared to have been specially rigged to work like an armored vehicle.

So this guy made a tank-like bulldozer and is now taking down a town? That is awesome.

# ¿ Jun 4, 2004 23:22

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 02:54

Pyros: Mar 24, 2003; The Leper Messiah

quote:

slayer548 came out of the closet to say:
CNN just said a witness reported a fortified gun turret. Fun for all! Fun for him, at least...

Seems like he did quite a bit of work. I hope he doesn't get bored before his fuel runs out.

# ¿ Jun 4, 2004 23:53

Pyros: Mar 24, 2003; The Leper Messiah

quote:

neap0litan came out of the closet to say:
I'm in Colorado watching the Channel Four coverage. A caller from Granby said the guy owned a local business, and he was upset that a concrete factory was built next door. He wrote to the newspaper, and complained to city hall, but nobody did anything. So now he's gone all Killdozer on the city.

It seems he's taken out everything that has bothered him. Does this mean he's just going to stop :(

# ¿ Jun 4, 2004 23:57

Pyros: Mar 24, 2003; The Leper Messiah

quote:

vanbags came out of the closet to say:

If they give him big-time coverage it might start a trend, kind of like school-shootings did. Killdozers will be popping up all over America.

If they can build a respectable killdozer, then let them have their fun.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2004 00:02

Pyros: Mar 24, 2003; The Leper Messiah

quote:

RichLather came out of the closet to say:
There's a negotiator knocking on the armor plating now. The 'dozer is definitely stuck in the building. Oh, now they're using a piece of broken wood to knock.

How much you wanna bet the guy's commited suicide in there?

As soon as he opens the hatch they'll probably shoot him. If he's not dead, he's probably regretted what he did. :q:

# ¿ Jun 5, 2004 00:11

Pyros: Mar 24, 2003; The Leper Messiah

quote:

parthenocarpy came out of the closet to say:
Oh Anderson Cooper..

"Is that the bulldozer in question?"

NO YOU FAG, ITS THE ONE ACROSS THE STREET

Cooper knows there's an army of killdozers.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2004 00:26

Pyros: Mar 24, 2003; The Leper Messiah

quote:

Mayor Wilkins came out of the closet to say:

Obviously it can't shred ALL buildings like they're made of butter, unless this hardware store is maybe like frozen butter, which would explain why the bulldozer is now stuck.

The radiator died. I can imagine it's pretty hard to drive through buildings without a radiator.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2004 00:27

Pyros: Mar 24, 2003; The Leper Messiah

quote:

Mayor Wilkins came out of the closet to say:

Yeah, I guess you have a point. gently caress. :(

Killdozers just make it a hell of a lot easier.

Don't worry, they'll be able to build a nuclear powered killdozer in the future. They won't be able to take that one down.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2004 00:31

Pyros: Mar 24, 2003; The Leper Messiah

quote:

Yamon Etoch came out of the closet to say:

is this the new goon island?

I hope so, because we can get a state of the art bulldozer for only 120k. Add some armour, and we've got an official goon killdozer. I'd say it wouldn't be too hard to earn the initial investment back if we mow down banks.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2004 02:28

Pyros: Mar 24, 2003; The Leper Messiah

He'll become a martyr.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2004 04:48

Pyros: Mar 24, 2003; The Leper Messiah

quote:

MechaGoofus came out of the closet to say:
I say we burn him for blasphemy.

Get the killdozer ready.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2004 05:54

Pyros: Mar 24, 2003; The Leper Messiah

quote:

Bushman came out of the closet to say:
There is no way in hell that the dude welded himself in there.

He probably just has a trap door thats shut with a lock on the inside.

He's building a mini death machine on the inside, and is only gaining time. If he can make a killdozer, he can make anything.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2004 06:08

Pyros: Mar 24, 2003; The Leper Messiah

quote:

Crusader came out of the closet to say:

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

You'd think people would put "ARMOR BEING WELDED TO BULLDOZER" and "BY GOD I WILL BULLDOZE MY ENEMIES" together, but that's just me I guess.

He gave everyone warning, I can't see anything wrong with this. It's all just angry fun.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2004 07:04

Pyros: Mar 24, 2003; The Leper Messiah

Guys, he's a martyr now, an inspirations for little Bob and small Suzy across America to raise up and make their own Killdozer.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2004 18:47

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 02:54

Pyros: Mar 24, 2003; The Leper Messiah

quote:

MMAgCh came out of the closet to say:
This is true

That one is great, but would be .14 KB too big :(

# ¿ Jun 5, 2004 19:32

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