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IcedPee
Jan 11, 2008

Yarrrr! I be here to plunder the fun outta me workplace! Avast!

FREE DECAHEDRON!
I was looking into buying a new cell phone, and I found this company:

http://www.vertu.com/

Wanna see what an $8000 cell phone looks like? You know that retarded "phone bling" that Paris Hilton wannabe girls were putting on their pink razrs? Ever wanted to buy a cell phone that came with actual diamonds on it? They actually sell this poo poo.

I'm not even going to comment on the pretentiousness of the site (the phones are listed under the "collections" tab as if they were a line of clothing). Let's just talk about the phones themselves, shall we?

They offer such useful features as the "Ceramic Pillow" which, apparently, is to make sure the phone isn't cold when you put it to your ear. They also offer OMG JAMES BOND features! Taken from a vendor site:

quote:

Vertu Ascent Ti includes vertu fortress which is exclusively developed by Vertu, Vertu Fortress wirelessly backs up your phone's contact and calendar information. From anywhere in the world, a single click backs up your data to ultra-secure servers maintained in an ex-military underground bunker in England.

For such an expensive phone, they must offer lots of other cool tech, right?

quote:

Ringtones
N/A

Memory
Card Slot: Internal
Internal Memory: 4GB
Connectivity
GPRS: No
HSDPA: No
Edge: No
WiFi: No
3G: No

Bluetooth: Yes
A2DP: No
USB: Yes

Video
No
Flashlight
Yes
Camera resolution
3MP
Battery
Stand-by-time: Up to 300 hours
Talk-time: Up to 5 hours
Other
Messaging: SMS, MMS
FM radio: No
Games: No
Speaker phone: Yes
Operating System:no
Touch-screen: No

Nope. But they do have this:

quote:

Every Vertu handset connects directly to the exclusive Vertu Concierge Service. At the touch of a dedicated button, personal assistance is on hand, 24 hours a day.

With expert advice on travel, entertainment, accomodation, restauraunts, and events, Vertu Conscierge is available in several languages.

Just wow.

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