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WHERE IS MY COFFEE
Apr 22, 2009

WHO PUT THAT UP THERE
YOU GUYS ARE ASSHOLES
Hi guys. Meet Ellie Crystal.

She's a psychic!



Welcome to her center-aligned, basic HTML business page and blog! http://www.crystalinks.com/index.html

Ellie Crystal posted:

Thank you for inquiring about a psychic reading. If you have been guided to this page, something in your soul is telling you that information will be given that you need to hear. Follow your guidance to discover the best way to learn about relationships, metaphysics, your soul's purpose, how to earn money in today's recession, and how to focus on your issues to create healing and balance.

Sessions are given in person or by phone only.

Looks like Ellie found out how to earn money in today's recession!

But Ellie's not just a psychic. She really loves interviewing friends of dead celebrities on her "World Blog Talk Radio":



She also loves Twilight:



Oh, and she knows we are all secretly aliens. (Dammit, she found us!)

Ellie Crystal, Super Ultra Feminine Psychic Moon Goddess Star Seed posted:

We are all 'star seeds', or 'star people' as we all have lived in many realities in many planetary systems and in higher realms as other life forms. So here we are, star seeds, souls sparks on a mission, trapped for NOW in a physical experience.

Starseeds allegedly seed planets with information and spiritual frequency when one cycle of time is about to end and another begin. As planetary frequency increases, so too does their levels of awareness, and need to help others, and return to their natural state of being, a soul spark of light.

And it goes on from there. Boy, does it ever.

But remember, folks: This is (a) serious business. Please show your support by scheduling a $150/hour psychic reading session, or by buying some of the mystic bullshit jewelry she sponsors that is probably made by her friend.

Don't bother scheduling after 2012 because the world might not be here.

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