The identify that story/book thread: Home of the gas pump boy

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > The identify that story/book thread: Home of the gas pump boy

Dell_Zincht: Nov 5, 2003

I think I posted my request in this thread ages ago, but I can't find it. I've been looking for this for over a decade now, everyone I've spoken to about it thinks I made it up, and I was convinced I was until I found someone on Goodreads asking about the exact same book.

It was a children's book, possibly a short story in an anthology. Read it in the UK when I was in primary school, so no later than 1995. My memories are that it was by a British author because of the terminology used, but I could be wrong there too.

It's about a boy who is fed up with life and wants to become a petrol pump (or gas pump.) He leaves school one day and walks for miles until he ends up by the side of a road somewhere. He sticks his finger in his ear like a pump and a man comes along and tries to pump petrol from him. The boy is nervous and can't so the man kicks him in the shins and then either he or someone else forces him to swallow an abacus(?)

Eventually the boy becomes a working petrol pump and one day his parents pump gas from him. He recognizes them but can't tell them it's him because, he's a petrol pump. One of his parents remarks that their son loved petrol pumps as they drive away.

Seriously i've tried Google, Goodreads, various other search engines and absolutely nobody knows what this story is. If someone could find out i'll happily reward them with an SA gift cert.

EDIT - I'm pretty sure it's not by Paul Jennings, even though it's exactly the sort of story he would write.

# ¿ May 31, 2020 09:02

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# ¿ May 9, 2024 17:01

Dell_Zincht: Nov 5, 2003

Carthag Tuek posted:

What the hell

I swear it's real!

# ¿ May 31, 2020 17:42

Dell_Zincht: Nov 5, 2003

Section 9 posted:

This sounds familiar, I think I may have read this but it would have been in the 80�s in the US. I have a vague memory of pretty unsettling (for a child) illustrations of the transformation in simple black and white drawings? Google brought up Shel Silverstein as a suggestion and it sounds like it would fit into one of his collections but I couldn�t find any definite connections.

Had a look and it's probably not him. I remember the art style being colour and decidedly British. I'm 98% certain it was British author.

# ¿ Jun 2, 2020 08:51

Dell_Zincht: Nov 5, 2003

branedotorg posted:

Is this the goodreads request? https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/19562796-boy-commits-suicide-by-turning-into-a-gas-pump-early-90s

I'm intrigued. Have you tried other words for pump. (bowser, dispensor in particular)?

Yeah, that's literally the only other place on the internet i've found discussion about the book. OP is convinced it's a US book, i'm convinced it's British.

(I did PM them a few months ago but didn't get a reply.)

# ¿ Jun 3, 2020 01:50

Dell_Zincht: Nov 5, 2003

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

You're sure this wasn't a bizarre dream?

For years I'd been convinced it was, but the Goodreads thread would suggest otherwise!

I'm never going to find this out though. The more I think about it, the more I'm sure it was part of a collection of stories - making it even harder to find

# ¿ Jun 3, 2020 13:24

Dell_Zincht: Nov 5, 2003

Sobatchja Morda posted:

The second book was Dutch or Flemmish, published somewhere in the early nineties or late eighties, and featured a boy who was obsessed with gas stations. A gas station at the edge of his village has just installed a new automatic pump, and the boy is so impressed by the independence and autonomy of this new mechanism that he goes there every day to watch the gas pump. One day he runs away from home, decides to follow his dream, and goes to the gas station to become a pump himself. What follows is some weird chapters where, as the boy's conviction grows, his body slowly starts transforming into a gas pump. He's humanshaped, but shiny and chrome with a pump handle for a right arm. He takes great pride in this transformation and so does the book, which lovingly describes the changing seasons that bring rain and darkness but cannot lay a finger on his metal perfection.

I want to say I just imagined this, but I distinctly remember it being one of the first books that 7 year old Sobatchja didn't want to finish and trying to return it to the school library. But the teacher didn't let you return books until you finished them, so it was back to the old gas pump for me.

HOLY poo poo I DEFINITELY DIDN'T MAKE IT UP

Your memories of it are a bit more clear than mine, it's a shame you don't have plat, i'd love to compare notes.

# ¿ Apr 16, 2021 14:12

Dell_Zincht: Nov 5, 2003

wizzardstaff posted:

Update on the "boy turns into a petrol pump" saga. Truths have been revealed! Posters in this very thread are implicated as CIA psyop agents spreading disinformation about a book that never existed!

http://www.thecourieronline.co.uk/petrol-stein-or-the-modern-polybius-the-strange-world-of-internet-book-searching

I'm ~~internet~~ famous!

Seriously though haha, what the gently caress?

I *definitely* didn't imagine this book and i'm definitely not a psyop agent!

# ¿ Jul 12, 2021 11:37

Dell_Zincht: Nov 5, 2003

Sobatchja Morda posted:

I found it! I found the goddamn boy-turns-into-a-gasspump book!

I did a little dip into the national library archives and managed to track down the Dutch version of it. The book is called "Super-Brikke". It was written by two Flemish auteurs called Michel Smets and Walter Oliviers, with illustrations by Dirk Lodewijckx. It was published in 1986 by a publishinghouse named Delta. For more details, see here.

Now, I am absolutely certain this is the book that I read as a kid. It ticks all the boxes, from subject to time period. What bothers me, however, is that it was indeed Flemish. So how did this absurd story make its way across the world?

EDIT: VVV Yes! That would make sense, considering Belgium is divided into French and Dutch-speaking areas. I asked the publisher if they have any more information for me, awaiting there answer now.

You absolute loving hero! A 20 year brainworm has finally been solved

Seriously, I thought I would never find this!

# ¿ Aug 26, 2021 10:42

Dell_Zincht: Nov 5, 2003

dflinter posted:

Yeah I would be skeptical too!

See some screenshots for proof

https://imgur.com/a/eidl4QN

You found the book though at least, that's something. Now to trawl charity shops and car boots in the hope of one day finding it!

# ¿ Aug 26, 2021 12:17

Dell_Zincht: Nov 5, 2003

dflinter posted:

I just wish they had contacted me before sending it for destruction

I asked them again but they re-iterated it was gone

Now we know the name, surely it is only a matter of time before another becomes available

However, I believe some scans of the Dutch version are incoming as per a Reddit user on the Whang! subreddit so not all is lost!

How's your Dutch, lol

# ¿ Aug 26, 2021 14:17

Dell_Zincht: Nov 5, 2003

I had no idea I was featured so extensively in that Whang! video btw, lol

# ¿ Aug 27, 2021 10:22

Dell_Zincht: Nov 5, 2003

wizzardstaff posted:

Someone in the comments claims to have a copy at home! Scans may be coming!

Let's hope!

I got in touch with the current headmaster of the primary school in which I read it, he referred me to the school librarian who was able to confirm that this book (at least the English version of it) was a school textbook and not available for sale. Given that most schools send all their old books for pulping, it's not surprising at all that there are very few copies left in existence.

If this dude actually has an English copy of the book and scans it in full, that would be incredible.

# ¿ Sep 11, 2021 08:50

Dell_Zincht: Nov 5, 2003

ScienceSeagull posted:

Looks like the English scans have not materialized, but someone has scanned an entire copy of the Dutch version (Super Brikke), and you can read it in OCR /Google Translate form:
https://old.reddit.com/r/Whang/comments/plsiqq/found_a_dutch_copy_of_superbrikke_at_a_library/
https://old.reddit.com/r/Whang/comments/plwyyj/superbrikke_english_translation_full_book/

Wow, to think this was translated and then toned down (a LOT) to make it a children's book. I remember the bit about the trash compactor too!

# ¿ Sep 14, 2021 20:00

Dell_Zincht: Nov 5, 2003

Drakyn posted:

Looked 'em up and woah woah WOAH that's WAY too much adventure. These kids are going to different countries and having VILLAINS and poo poo! Way too intense. God help me if it's one of Enid Blyton's though; how many books did she write?
The Four-Story Mistake by Elizabeth Enright (I got pointed at her stuff) seems closest in a few elements (the treehouse in a storm felt similar to something I can't put my finger on), but I think it lacks the key elements of the absent hermit and the daisy-chain of clues.

Definitely an Enid Blyton book as I know i've read this - either one of the clues or the entrance to the secret room was hidden in the fireplace/chimney.

I'll get back to you, but i'm sure I know this one!

# ¿ Oct 18, 2021 07:50

Dell_Zincht: Nov 5, 2003

Hobnob posted:

Isn't the one with the secret passageway in the fireplace The Five Go Adventuring Again? The antagonist in that one is a holiday tutor/spy, not a recluse relative.

(Why does so much of my brain retain utterly useless plots for children's books?)

Yeah, i've mixed several Enid Blyton books up in my head I think. Hopefully someone else has the answer as I'd like to know too, now!

# ¿ Oct 21, 2021 07:11

Dell_Zincht: Nov 5, 2003

Right, time to try mine again!

I read this in the UK in the early to late 90s. Almost certain it's a standalone book but it could have been part of a collection of scary stories.

British Children's/YA book about a family that moves into a farmhouse which is haunted by the Victorian ghosts of children who lived there and died in tragic circumstances. One of the children broke his neck falling off his horse.

The children in the present (a girl and a boy) end up communicating with the ghosts via a computerised chess game. Earlier in the story they try to scare the ghosts away by dressing up as ghosts themselves, but the boy stands on some Lego and cries out in pain, giving them away.

I honestly can't remember what the point of the story was, I think the ghost children were unable to pass on into the spirit world or something.

This has been bugging me for years.

# ¿ Aug 7, 2023 16:20

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# ¿ May 9, 2024 17:01

Dell_Zincht: Nov 5, 2003

Haha, when did the thread title change?

# ¿ Dec 12, 2023 14:55

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > The identify that story/book thread: Home of the gas pump boy