Craigslist Fools Gold - SCREENSHOT YOUR ADS - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Craigslist Fools Gold - SCREENSHOT YOUR ADS

Left Ventricle: Feb 24, 2006; Right aorta

Luxmore posted:

I swear to god I don't know how these people found their way on to craigslist with reading comprehension skills like this.

Back when I was selling my Suburban I wrote 556 words for craigslist, and got the retards emailing asking what the general condition of the truck was, along with some brave mouthbreathers calling. If you didn't take the time to read the listing I don't have the time for you, since you'll just tell me you don't want it anyway.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2008 02:03

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 6, 2024 05:26

Left Ventricle: Feb 24, 2006; Right aorta

kimbo305 posted:

it doesn't actually appear to have shaved doors.

I was wondering what the hell he meant by "shaved bed" but I think I saw one of those trucks with these little hooks just under the lip of the bed. Maybe he ground 'em off, and now wrongly believes it's a selling point. Yes, I want to give you more money for this truck after you've reduced the usability of the bed.

Or maybe that was a LUV...

# ¿ Jul 7, 2008 04:03

Left Ventricle: Feb 24, 2006; Right aorta

slidebite posted:

What in the gently caress is that thing in the bottom left photo? It looks like a 1/2" breaker bar being used either as a shifter or hanging from the rear view mirror

I think it's the shifter! This man clearly appreciates the finer things in life :monocle:

Fast 1996 Acura Integra GSR

Click here for the full 739x738 image.

Ricer tax strikes again. :rice:

# ¿ Oct 3, 2008 01:24

Left Ventricle: Feb 24, 2006; Right aorta

b0nes posted:

Anyone interested in a BENTLEY ARNAGE? Looks like the real thing.

Until you see that steering wheel, column shifter and Ford instrument cluster. :laugh:

# ¿ Oct 9, 2008 00:50

Left Ventricle: Feb 24, 2006; Right aorta

Lord Lilf posted:

How 'bout a sweet custom camaro?

http://newhaven.craigslist.org/cto/1362732875.html

That ad posted:

Built 305 cu.in. Holley 4bbl, TH350 tranny with shift kit, 10 bolt posi with 2:73 gears. Spins second gear with 12" wide tires.

Is this guy serious? Built 305? 2.73 rear end?

# ¿ Oct 1, 2009 03:09

Left Ventricle: Feb 24, 2006; Right aorta

Lusso posted:

I saw this Civic run at a BMWCCA autocross event this summer. The only guy with a faster time was in a blown Superformance Cobra.

http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/cto/1438608663.html

That is a hell of a Civic. Not one grain of rice. I would buy that, and I don't like Civics. Only thing that bugs me is, why does a naturally aspirated four cylinder need a 2.5" exhaust? My six cylinder with nearly twice the displacement probably wouldn't really need a 2.5.

Left Ventricle fucked around with this message at 02:00 on Oct 29, 2009

# ¿ Oct 29, 2009 01:58

Left Ventricle: Feb 24, 2006; Right aorta

1996 Dodge Caravan $1,500 or Make offer. (Las Vegas, NV)

quote:

I'm selling a 1996 Dodge Minivan with about 125 K Miles, Everything works great including A/C and Heater.
I'm only selling because I need a 3.7L V6 Vortech Engine with the 8th Digit "K". I would not be selling this vehicle only because I need the described engine for a 2004 Durango.

If you can get the engine for me I am willing to trade the Dodge Minivan for it.

Call me: [number removed].

I also install and replace broken windshields, windows, & side glass or back glass. Any auto glass products that you might need. I will provide it new with a lifetime warranty on Labor and Factory defects.

Call me if you have a car that needs a replacement on windshield or any glass.

Need a set of tires? rim? Come and get them at 4440 E. Tropicana & 95 FWY.

The real gold is the pictures they attached.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ¿ Nov 23, 2009 22:58

Left Ventricle: Feb 24, 2006; Right aorta

orange lime posted:

Normally I'd be like "eh just his girlfriend washing the car" but that seems to be a completely different car. Not to mention neither of those are the minivan. And those are the shittiest-looking scissor doors I've ever seen. Why don't people understand that scissors only work when the doors are long and skinny, like on a real Lamborghini?

That's the point�he's selling his Caravan to get an engine for his Durango (which, by the way, is not a "Vortech", it's a Magnum), and the pictures are of his girlfriend or some random ho he looked up online (must be, since even Las Vegas gets cold and it'd be dumb to hand wash a car wearing that during the winter) and his lambo'd and dubbed Tahoe. Yeah, you really seem like you need money for an engine, dog. Sell the wheels.

vvvvvv exactly.

Left Ventricle fucked around with this message at 00:38 on Nov 24, 2009

# ¿ Nov 23, 2009 23:44

Left Ventricle: Feb 24, 2006; Right aorta

2009 LAMBORGHINI LP640 MURCIELAGO ROADSTER REPLICA - $10000 (STUART, FL)

quote:

YES YOU READ THIS AD CORRECTLY! WHAT YOU SEE HERE IS MY MURCIELAGO LP640 REPLICA THAT I HAVE ALREADY INVESTED $16,220. I HAVE ALL RECEIPTS. I DID NOT SPARE ANY EXPENSES ON MY REPLICA TO GIVE YOU ONE OF THE BEST REPLICAS OUT THERE! I AM ONLY SELLING IT FOR $10,000. OR BEST OFFER! I NEED THE FUNDS TO COMPLETE ANOTHER BUILD OTHERWISE I WOULDNT SELL THIS BABY!VWHAT IT HAS:
1. PROFESSIONALLY STRECTHED FIERO WITH WELDED SUPPORT TUBING FROM FRONT TO BACK!
2. PROFESSIONALLY REBUILT 4.9 V-8 ENGINE!
3. PROFESSIONALLY REBUILT TRANSMISSION WITH A HIGH PERFORMANCE TORQUE CONVERTER! THIS IS NOT A FIERO TRANNY!
4. ALL NEW MOTOR & TRANNY MOUNTS!
5. PROFESSIONALLY INSTALLED & BALANCED ENGINE & TRANNY MOUNTED!
6. NEW MURCIELAGO LP640 FIBERGLASS BODY WITH ALL EXTERIOR & INTERIOR PARTS & PANELS TO COMPLETE YOUR BUILD!
AS YOU CAN SEE FROM THE BLACK MURCIELAGO REPLICA IT IS BEAUTIFUL! SERIOUS BUYERS CALL ONLY! NO TRADES NO DREAMERS! 772-812-8588

Click here for the full 900x709 image.

Click here for the full 900x709 image.

Fiero? Check.
Cadillac 4.9? Check.
Car is in Florida but listed in Las Vegas? Check.
IT'S NOT A GODDAMN LAMBORGHINI YOU WORTHLESS SACK OF DOORKNOBS

# ¿ Dec 21, 2009 05:31

Left Ventricle: Feb 24, 2006; Right aorta

E-mail the guy, ask him for a scan of the title and his registration.

# ¿ Dec 21, 2009 06:43

Left Ventricle: Feb 24, 2006; Right aorta

http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/cto/1541024868.html

THE ULTIMATE DRIFT MACHINE A.K.A. THE DRIFT BRICK! TURBOCHARGED IMPORT posted:

Here is your chance to own the drift brick itself! This sweet piece of machinery started its life back in 1990 and has been running strong ever since! This Volvo station wagon is the ideal drift car because not only does it have a high horsepower engine under the hood, but it is one of the safest cars of its time! Safety is first in this dangerous sport that many may partake in on the streets, so what better way to do it then in a Volvo??!? Now everyone knows that in order to really get your car sideways you must have some type of power under the hood, and of course this car has it! It has a very economical straight four cylinder engine for getting around town, picking up the kids, getting groceries, etc� but when that grocery store is closed, that parking lot may very well turn into a playground for the drift brick! This is the time when the turbocharger can be fully utilized and max boost can be reached! This baby kicks up to an astounding 15lbs of boost in no time!! When you finally decide that the tires have seen enough abuse and you let off of the throttle, your ears will be tickled by the loud PPPSSSHHHH the aftermarket air flow diversion valve delivers from under the hood! All this horsepower is transferred through its stage 1 clutch, into the 5-speed transmission, and then finally to the asphalt beneath the tires! Don�t let this little wagon fool you, it will light the tires up in smoke in a flash! The car originally came equipped with a 4-speed automatic transmission, but since this project was geared towards pure sideways performance, I opted for the much more controllable fully manual 5-speed transmission. Now when you are hitting these corners at high speeds, it is very important that you maintain full control. In order to achieve this, I have installed a high-performance racing seat that is sure to keep you in place during the most extreme conditions! This is a fully recline-able seat that can support a racing harness if the buyer chose to install one later on. The factory suspension on these cars is great for hauling the family around, but this is no family car anymore! This is a high performance vehicle! The springs have been modified in order to give the driver full control over the car even when its sliding completely sideways! A lot of time was taken to lower the car the way it is where the wheels tuck up in the wheel wells and still do not rub! You have a very tight turning radius capability which is definitely a plus for those tight course maneuvers! This Volvo unveils its exhaust through its factory emissions system in order to be able to go to the smog shop and not have any issues with exhaust modification. This was also done in order to keep this high horsepower engines noise to a minimal in an effort to avoid unwanted attention by higher authorities! The power plant under the hood has been enhanced for more power by adding an aftermarket cold air intake, everyone knows that the only way to unleash all of the horses the engine is capable of is by letting it breathe! So of course this was a no-brainer! Next was the addition of a boost controller that is used to demand more boost to be delivered from the turbocharger into the engine! This adds a ton of power! But don�t be afraid, this was done with pure reliability in mind! When hitting that high boost, tuning is very important! This is very important on any high-performance vehicle! This car is equipped with bigger fuel injectors that can allow for more fuel to be injected into the engine when max power is demanded! Of course on any high performance engine, octane is key! This Volvo is not only green in color, but it is �green friendly!!� This Volvo has gone through a complete conversion where it has been fully converted over to run E85 fuel!!! Not only does this thing get great MPG, the fuel it uses is only $2 and some change per gallon!! This car is a ultimate bargain! It is very roomy and can haul just about anything with the rear seats folded down, and can hold up to 7 people easily and safely with all the proper restraint mechanisms in place! This Volvo has a reputation to maintain, so I would prefer an experienced driver with some experience under their belt to be the one to take this baby home. This Volvo has undergone a custom paint job and has been painted satin Italian olive green.. I opted for something not too flashy as to draw unwanted attention, but not too plain to where it is not noticed while prowling through the streets, this seemed to be the perfect mix! This Volvo comes with a clean and clear title that is ready to be registered in the new owners name! This Volvo will need the turbo seals replaced soon, they have seen their better days! This car has gone 230K+ miles and by the feel of it, is ready for another 230K!! The car does currently emit smoke from the exhaust due to the turbo seals going bad and it is an issue that needs to be attended to soon. If you just drive it like normal, it isn�t extremely bad.. but if you try boosting it, it can cause a cloud to be left. A replacement turbocharger can be acquired very easily from the junk yard for about $70. Besides that you will just need a battery for this ride to be complete! I will supply a battery for test drives and testing the electronics, etc.. All the power windows, radio, power locks, power sun roof all work! Give me a call to know more or to take a look at it!

After sifting through that wall of words, I have gleaned that for $650 you can have a turbo brick that passes emissions, was converted to manual, needs a new turbo (or the current one rebuilt) and has a conrod and piston hanging from the bumper.

# ¿ Jan 11, 2010 10:14

Left Ventricle: Feb 24, 2006; Right aorta

deviant. posted:

Why is it that every "light" car magically comes out to "around 2000 pounds"? It's the weight equivalent of FAHV HUNNERT HORSEPOWA

There's no way that car can be that light and still have a full interior, which, according to the pictures, it does.

# ¿ Jan 13, 2010 07:16

Left Ventricle: Feb 24, 2006; Right aorta

TimingBelt posted:

My 89 325is: 2844 lbs.
88 325is: 2865 lbs.
87 325is: 2813 lbs.
Normal 325i 2dr(89):2811 lbs.

I find this quite interesting, because the E30 isn't exactly a large car. According to the title for my '89 Celebrity wagon, which is kind of a big car, it weighs 2888 lbs., and another source on the internet seems to agree, saying 2905. How does that happen?

# ¿ Jan 17, 2010 09:12

Left Ventricle: Feb 24, 2006; Right aorta

Guys. Guys. This is it. The ultimate A-body. More rare even than the Celebrity Eurosport VR.

Click here for the full 1440x900 image.

quote:

UNIQUE 1986 Pontiac 6000 STE Limo. V-6 front wheel drive with AT 35,000 original miles. This car has been sitting and is in need of some TLC. Although this car runs and drives good, it is going to need some attention, basic maintenance, and may need to have a sensor changed (check engine light is on and the information center says it needs tune up and oil change) more pics are available and I can email them to you or text them to you. This car was modified by Eisenhardt and Hess Coachbuilders. The nick-nacks inside include a television and VCR, 2 car Phones (still work), a am/fm cass stereo in the cab, and a am/fm cd with detatchable face in the rear as well as wet bar area. This car is equipped with power windows and glass partition(all work) power door locks (work) fog lights (work). This car is equipped with front and rear air conditioning but needs to be recharged, The front seats will need to be recovered. Rear upholstry is in good shape, This car does need some body work (roof and left side center) Clear and clean Title in hand. This car has plenty of miles left in it and tons of potential

AND I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY TO BUY IT GRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHGGGGHHHHHHH

Left Ventricle fucked around with this message at 22:39 on Feb 28, 2010

# ¿ Feb 28, 2010 22:37

Left Ventricle: Feb 24, 2006; Right aorta

Altimas posted:

1970 camaro (please read carefully) - $9000 (North LV)
http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/cto/1694843821.html

Anyone here wanna see if he'll send the pics?

North Las Vegas is a BAD fuckin' place to have a car like that too. I live within spittin' distance of Northtown, but I haven't seen this car. I almost wanna go trawling for it.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2010 01:41

Left Ventricle: Feb 24, 2006; Right aorta

rscott posted:

I think its a V-6 just because I have trouble thinking that an Iron Duke would actually get that thing to 100+MPH.

I had a Duke-powered 6000 a few years ago, and I eventually got it to 103. The 6000 weighs a few hundred pounds more than a Fiero, and it had a three speed automatic. I'm sure a Duke Fiero can do 100+.

# ¿ Aug 6, 2010 05:12

Left Ventricle: Feb 24, 2006; Right aorta

MrKatharsis posted:

aw ffffffffffffffffff
http://nashville.craigslist.org/cto/1933540880.html

quote:

Toyota Cressida... V6

So the 7M is a V engine now?

# ¿ Sep 3, 2010 00:06

Left Ventricle: Feb 24, 2006; Right aorta

Baby Hitler posted:

A twin turbo old GM diesel is the fastest way to be slower than the Vulcan 3.8L.

The Mustang's V6 is in the Essex engine family, not Vulcan, but your point stands. It's a good troll car though. Stomp throttle, disappear in a cloud of black smoke.

# ¿ Dec 26, 2010 22:13

Left Ventricle: Feb 24, 2006; Right aorta

http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/cto/2163018971.html

quote:

THIS IS A 1988 BUICK LESABRE ESTATE WAGON. WITH NEW RADIATOR, HOSES, POWER STEERING PUMP, FLYWHEEL, SPARK PLUGS, TIRES AND WHEELS, AND MORE. CUSTOM WHEELS, LIMO TINT, CHAUFER PARTITION, COMPARTMENTS , GREAT CONDITION INSIDE & OUT. CLEAR TITLE. MUST SEE TO APPRECIATE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST.LOCAL SALES ONLY. FOR MORE INFO PLEASE CALL TIM

EDIT: Here's the same car without Juggalette rear end:
http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/cto/2157313901.html

# ¿ Jan 16, 2011 23:51

Left Ventricle: Feb 24, 2006; Right aorta

trouser chili posted:

It's a 72hp vibrator.

Hey, give the Duke a little credit... it has 92 hp!

# ¿ May 17, 2011 19:50

Left Ventricle: Feb 24, 2006; Right aorta

http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/cto/2419428913.html

quote:

IM SELLING A VERY NICE CADILLAC DEVILLE WITH A SIX DOOR CONVERSION DONE BY A COMPANY IN OHIO CALLED " ARMBRUSTER / STAGEWAY. IT HAS THE 6.0 LITER WITH JUST UNDER 79,000 ORIG. MILES AND HAS A AUTOMATIC TRANSMISSION. ITS WHITE WITH BABY BLUE VELOUR AND ITS FULLY LOADED INCLUDING DUAL A/C. THE CAR RUNS BUT IS NOT DRIVABLE BECAUSE OF A LEEKY REAR BRAKE CYLINDER SO THE BRAKES DO NOT HOLD PRESSURE ! THE CADDY STILL NEEDS WORK BUT IT IS WORTH IT. TAGS ARE BACK 1 YEAR AND IS MISSING MISC. PARTS AND THE LEATHER PADDED TOP IS RIPPED. IF YOUR INTRESTED PLEASE CALL ME @ 760) 244-2294 AND ASK FOR BOBBY, IM ASKING $900.00 FOR THE CAR OR WILL TRADE FOR A GOOD RUNNING 4CYL. & AUTOMATIC CAR OR MINI VAN. THANKS......YOU WILL NEVER FIND ANOTHER 6DR CADDY FOR THIS PRICE THAT I PROMISE!!!!!!

A Cadillac limousine for eight hundred bucks. The pimpinest Cadillac.

# ¿ Jun 3, 2011 22:20

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 6, 2024 05:26

Left Ventricle: Feb 24, 2006; Right aorta

http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/cto/2703123111.html

quote:

2005 freightliner century class $19,000 obo good working truck and its ready to work , detroit engine 60 series 455 hp 10 sp 858xxx miles i have the title , its all private sale ,,,, NO sales tax involved

I'll be honest: I know nothing about large trucks. I'd always thought they cost a lot more than that though, even at 6+ years old. Is 858k miles considered high? Is the ten speed a good box? Is it really worth $19k?

# ¿ Nov 16, 2011 08:07

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Craigslist Fools Gold - SCREENSHOT YOUR ADS