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chachu posted:Is there any tactful way to tell people that, instead of presents, we would rather have a donation to our fund for a down payment on a house? http://www.newspousenewhouse.com/
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Feb 13, 2008 17:05
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Nyvinyd posted:For another shot as far as ring prices and what you get for your money, I got this for my fiance. I bought the setting and stone on ebay, I think around $450 for the setting and around $80 for the stone, then another $80 on getting them put together and having it sized. What is that, a sapphire? It's really pretty, great choice!
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Feb 13, 2008 17:49
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Rootbeer Baron posted:What is that, a sapphire? It's really pretty, great choice! Yeah, it's a sapphire, .82c according to my email history. I looked up what I actually paid everything and I actually only spent about $500 total, not $600.
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Feb 13, 2008 18:30
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BrassMonkey posted:I've just been asked to be a co-best man (along with another longtime friend). I think its going to be a fairly casual as opposed to traditional ceremony, but just so I can have the bases covered what are my responsibilities going to be? One thing to keep in mind for the best man's speech: Nobody cares what you have to say. So keep it short and succinct. You're not as funny as you think you are and don't talk about yourself. I'm a big proponent of the Best Man's Toast rather than the Best Man's Speech.
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Feb 13, 2008 22:49
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That's a great way to think of it - it should be a very personalised toast rather than speech involving you, Daveo and Sharon this one time... Other than making the toast/speech, taking responsibility for the rings, standing up the front looking handsome and perhaps signing the marriage certificate as a witness, the major responsibility of the best man is coordinating the buck's night. Find the nicest stripper in the joint and you've done your duty  Also, start practicing smiles now because the photo session on the big day is demanding!
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Feb 14, 2008 13:44
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I'm getting married in May, and we're trying to figure out what to give as gifts to our bridesmaids and groomsmen. Anyone have any great idea? I've looked at all the wedding party gifts sites that give suggestions, but I generally think they all suck. Thanks.
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Feb 15, 2008 01:27
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sheri posted:I'm getting married in May, and we're trying to figure out what to give as gifts to our bridesmaids and groomsmen. I'm taking the grab bag approach. I've been picking up little things that remind me of each of them, or I think they would all like, and I'm going to put them in a large purse or sac. I haven't gotten too far yet, but I bought them all pedicure kits and I'm getting them earrings made to match the dress. I'll probably get about 5-7 items total. I think this is a lot more personal and practical than a monogrammed mirror case.
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Feb 15, 2008 03:12
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No Leaf Clover posted:perhaps signing the marriage certificate as a witness, Also, don't assume the pastor knows what day of the week it is. Double check the date on the marriage certificate or your brother might find out about it 3 years later and be pissed at you.
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Feb 15, 2008 05:14
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sheri posted:I'm getting married in May, and we're trying to figure out what to give as gifts to our bridesmaids and groomsmen. I cannot recommend http://www.redenvelope.com enough. Seriously.
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Feb 15, 2008 07:05
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do what now posted:My parents are insane, and spent $100,000 on my recent wedding and honeymoon. Yes, I know how crazy that is. That was not something I wanted, but my mother had a tiny tiny cheap wedding (where her dad fell off the wagon), so she was reliving things through me. My husband and I thought about eloping to avoid the expense and stress, but both of our parents begged us not to. In the end, it's my parents money, so if they wanted to go crazy, I couldn't really stop them, although I tried for a while. I also have a very very huge family. The wedding actually turned out great, but I used to do semi-pro wedding photography and can say that inexpensive weddings turn out great too. $100,000...You've got to be making GBS threads me. I am almost sick over the amount of money spent on this. I am planning a wedding for this October, and I live from pay check to pay check right now. I'm glad I have my parents to help out, but I would, without a doubt, elope before letting them spend such a massive amount of money. I would be ashamed of spending so much...I'll be proud if I can say I kept it under a $1,000 (about 35 guests, dress, food, everything). I'm not criticizing you, my mind just boggles at what people find so important that they have to spend so much money.
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Feb 15, 2008 07:21
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stef_infection posted:$100,000...You've got to be making GBS threads me. I am almost sick over the amount of money spent on this. I am planning a wedding for this October, and I live from pay check to pay check right now. I'm glad I have my parents to help out, but I would, without a doubt, elope before letting them spend such a massive amount of money. I would be ashamed of spending so much...I'll be proud if I can say I kept it under a $1,000 (about 35 guests, dress, food, everything). I'm not criticizing you, my mind just boggles at what people find so important that they have to spend so much money. Right now, I have 30 guests, dress, tux, venue, minister, cake, and possibly small reception for 11 guests at a restaurant covered for about $1000. It's possible to do, but very difficult. I got a $150 dress and free minister and cheap cake; you might be a little hard pressed to find cheaper than that with food for everyone. We don't have rings, alcohol, a "real" reception, organist/music, a venue for the reception, bridesmaid dresses, anything like that. And about the $100,000... my mind is blown. I would just buy a house and get married in Vegas.
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Feb 15, 2008 07:32
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chachu posted:And I also think that people think there is a difference between, "Here is a nice set of martini glasses," and, "Here is 25 bucks," even though it's the same amount of cash. I don't think there is one, but I understand that the gift might seem less... significant, I guess. I agree, particularly since many people live together before marrying these days so you don't need all that much house stuff. Over here (Europe) it seems quite normal to ask for money, though it mostly seems to take the form of honeymoon contributions. The couple set up an account with a tour operator and you call and tell then how much you want to put in and charge it to VISA. We intend to do as you are and will probably let it be known that for those who don't want to buy gifts that there will be a pot for "first home" contributions at the reception. We'll set up a piggybank in the shape of a house for them to put cheques and cash into. We will set up a really limited gift list and hope that people will get the idea.
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Feb 15, 2008 16:52
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chachu posted:Right now, I have 30 guests, dress, tux, venue, minister, cake, and possibly small reception for 11 guests at a restaurant covered for about $1000. It's possible to do, but very difficult. I got a $150 dress and free minister and cheap cake; you might be a little hard pressed to find cheaper than that with food for everyone. We don't have rings, alcohol, a "real" reception, organist/music, a venue for the reception, bridesmaid dresses, anything like that. I am a culinary major  so I have hook-ups for the cake...if we decide to do a cake. I also plan on everyone coming to the reception where I will have some good ole country vittles. I know of an excellent soul food restaurant that I will be able to get a great deal on food. Also, my beau's granddad is a preacher  but at least he will be able to marry us for free (so long as he agrees before hand to say what we want and not give a sermon). I plan on having a little wine, beer, etc. but most of the people coming don't drink, so that will save a bundle. I also plan on hiring a broke college guitarist to play some nice acoustic music for most of the ceremony. I also don't like to dance or ride in limos,and I'm not big on tradition, so I don't have to worry about spending money on those types of things. Also, NO bridesmaids/maid of honor and NO wedding shower! Sometimes I like being a weird homebody with few friends.
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Feb 15, 2008 19:17
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sheri posted:I'm getting married in May, and we're trying to figure out what to give as gifts to our bridesmaids and groomsmen. I did something different... I found an old newspaper clipping that had a picture of me and my maid of honor (and only bridesmaid) as 6 year olds. My father took it to a person specializing in restoration and restored the picture and framed a copy for her. An alternative was going to be a three fold picture frame with one picture of us when we were little next to a picture of us at my wedding and the third picture of us at her wedding. Another thing my Mom did for all of the "girls in my life" that helped out with the wedding was buy nice pendants on Ebay and bought nice chains to go with them. I know for a fact one of my friends wears it nearly everyday! I'm completely for functionality and sentiment over price...
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Feb 15, 2008 19:51
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Like I said, the $100,000 was not what I planned on spending. But my mother is a human steamroller, and parents certainly had the money to spare and then some. If I could have just taken the $100,000 and eloped I would have, but after fighting my mother month after month, it just became easier and less stressful to go along with what she wanted (to spend money). So I had a dream wedding that I enjoyed and enjoyed planning, instead of a modest wedding and $100,000 in therapy bills. Frankly, I'm just happy she let me pick things I wanted and didn't do much of "it's my money, I say which dress/photographer/catering company/event location" etc. Also frightening is that my parents spent almost as much on my sister's wedding 3 years ago. At least the $100,000 isn't a waste - it all went directly into the pockets of wedding vendors, flower suppliers, caterers, etc. My parents weren't always wealthy. My parents have spent at least 100K putting my young twin brothers through exclusive private schools and paying for fancy vacations and such, but had no money for the kinds of things my brothers get when my sister and I were growing up. I think that crazy weddings and down payments on houses are my parents way of making sure that my sister and I get the same monetary advantages my brothers now have.
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Feb 15, 2008 20:27
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do what now posted:My parents weren't always wealthy. My parents have spent at least 100K putting my young twin brothers through exclusive private schools and paying for fancy vacations and such, but had no money for the kinds of things my brothers get when my sister and I were growing up. I think that crazy weddings and down payments on houses are my parents way of making sure that my sister and I get the same monetary advantages my brothers now have. Your parents didn't buy ME anything growing up. I demand a down payment on a house. 
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Feb 15, 2008 20:37
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BRAKE FOR MOOSE fucked around with this message at 07:43 on Jun 12, 2012 |
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Feb 15, 2008 20:53
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sheri posted:I'm getting married in May, and we're trying to figure out what to give as gifts to our bridesmaids and groomsmen. I agree, most of that stuff is chintzy and utterly useless. My wife "suggested" (read: insisted) that we go with tradition and get monogrammed or somehow-personalized items. She ended up getting each bridesmaid a gift bag, with some nice bath-time stuff, a camisole, and a hand-written letter thanking each of them. Since I was far lazier, I went with the monogrammed leather CD wallet. It's personalized, yet still useful, since everybody needs a place to put their discs. I have pics of both items somewhere if you're interested.
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Feb 15, 2008 22:26
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My husband got custom poker sets for the groomsmen. They had our names on one side and the wedding date on the other. The guys really seemed to like them. I got the girls necklaces and earrings to go with their dresses. The necklaces actually had (teeny tiny) diamonds in them - I got them on sale at a local department store. They were very affordable, as bridesmaids gifts were paid for by me, not my rich parents. Jewelry can be worn over and over, which is better than something that's just gonna sit in a closet gathering dust.
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Feb 15, 2008 23:17
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sheri posted:I'm getting married in May, and we're trying to figure out what to give as gifts to our bridesmaids and groomsmen. My wife bought a ton of stuff (candles, a picture frame for each and more) and put them in these cloth tote bags that she had embroidered with each girl's name so that they would have something they could use (take it to the beach or something) that wasn't specifically from the wedding. I had the worst time with this for the guys though. I finally settled on engraved pocket watches for the guys because it was like three weeks from the wedding day. Honestly that was like the hardest part of the wedding plans and I still could never think of anything good.
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Feb 16, 2008 00:05
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I still contend the best bridesmaid gift I ever received was when my best friend paid for our bridesmaid dresses. Way better than a cheesy necklace I'd never wear or a copy of Chicken Soup for the Soul (seriously, ugh).
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Feb 16, 2008 02:40
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opie posted:We got married September 9, the weekend after labor day. I think we managed to get the best weather of the year as well. My parents live in Lincoln City and usually it's cold, windy, and rainy. But that day I think it hit 90 and it was just windy enough to blow my veil off a couple times. It's a little hard to hear anything over the ocean, but we had a really short ceremony so it wasn't hard to follow along. I have actually stayed at that hotel for a history conference. It was neat as a poor undergrad to have a room overlooking the ocean for free, but in retrospect, it was kind of a dumpy hotel. Like opie said, the weather is generally wretched since it is on the cost and the ocean is really loud (and kind of smelly). Plus there was a bonus of a dying seal cub on the beach! The food I ate there wasn't great, the service was only okay (that could be completely related to the 300 or so history students in the hotel), and the suites were kind of ugly and thrown-together looking. If you want a beach wedding in that part of the world I would recommend perhaps some of the beaches in the Puget Sound area or along the Columbia river since they are a little further inland and away the ever-looming storms. Or at least find a beach with a covered area in case of bad weather. I've always wanted a wedding on a beach, but I just don't think it works all to well in the Pacific NW. I don't mean to bring you down, this is just what I observed from my stay. I was there in April 2007.
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Feb 16, 2008 03:20
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My cousin got married on the beach at Depoe Bay (OR) the November before last. Against all odds, it was gorgeous. She may have used up all the weather karma for the area. It was a small wedding, so we all stayed at the Sylvia Beach Hotel, where every room is themed to a different author- my sister and I got the Poe room, complete with pendulum over the bed. So I can only recommend the area but yeah... weather.
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Feb 16, 2008 04:04
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Sorry to bump an oldish thread but... (cross-posted from a thread I started, figured I'd get more advice this way) My fiancee and I have decided that we're going to go to Las Vegas to get married. We've talked about it and we don't want to go through the hassle or cost of having a big wedding. If we stayed in town and had a wedding with just our immediate family and close friends, there would be at least 50-60 people. Also, our family is scattered so we'd have people coming from six different states. It just seems like a logistical nightmare. We've done the research on getting the license, we're looking at chapels and creating a budget. We wouldn't be doing this until this fall at the earliest, so we're not rushing into anything either (plus the airfare and hotel rates are cheaper after Thanksgiving). Also, we are going to tell our parents, so it won't be much of an elopement; more like a destination wedding. I'm just looking for any tips that anyone who has eloped (or had a destination wedding) has for us. How much did you plan on spending versus how much you actually spent? What was the most expensive part of the trip? Was there anything you would've done differently if you could go back and do it again? Are we missing anything? We may have two close friends go with us (depending on cost), how did that work out for those who did that? Did you pay for their ticket, or their room or both?
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Mar 10, 2008 15:05
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AWSEFT posted:I'm getting married in August. I am not sure if you are still in the same predicament, but a friend of mine had a great idea for out of town guests since 90% of the people traveled for his son's wedding. They rented a fishing boat for the guys and had a champagne breakfast for everyone else at the (beach side) hotel. This was entertaining and in walking distance of the hotel where everyone was staying. That way the guests were all entertained without the bride or groom needing to be around. They also gave out little favor boxes to all of the hotel rooms and included detailed directions, times, etc, for everything. It certainly doesn't make it cheaper to do this. Since it seemed as though intimacy and entertaining were the real issues something like this could be fun. Your MIL may also have some fun ideas for things her family would enjoy doing in your area, especially since she said she was willing to foot part of the bill.
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Mar 10, 2008 17:16
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. I know you don't HAVE to invite out of town guests to a rehearsal dinner. But is this some sort of standard thing?
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Skutter posted:Destination wedding stuff I don't have any advice, but I do have a recommendation. Of the few destination weddings I've been invited to, send out a save the date to let people know what and where you are doing things. The last one was somewhat a last minute invite (2-3 months) and it just wasn't economically feasible. I might have gone if I would have time to save up (it was in Jamaica).
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Mar 11, 2008 03:10
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do what now posted:I personally spent some of my own money to have a groom's cake made by Duff Goldman, who has a tv show on Food Network. I was surprised to find how reasonable his prices were. The cake was Super Mario themed - I haven't played a video game in at least a decade, but my husband is in the video game industry. It turned out great. Even the old people at the wedding recognized Mario! Old post, don't care. How can you say this and not post pictures??!?
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Mar 11, 2008 03:51
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Gravitee posted:I don't have any advice, but I do have a recommendation. Of the few destination weddings I've been invited to, send out a save the date to let people know what and where you are doing things. The last one was somewhat a last minute invite (2-3 months) and it just wasn't economically feasible. I might have gone if I would have time to save up (it was in Jamaica). I don't think we're going to invite anyone really. We're just going to tell our parents, and maybe invite two or three friends. I don't want it to turn into a large wedding, even if it's in Vegas. Neither of us want to deal with our families. It is a good idea though.
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Mar 11, 2008 15:19
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topenga posted:Old post, don't care. How can you say this and not post pictures??!? Because i don't know how to post pictures. I'll get my husband to do it at some point this week. You can also search for Super Mario Cake on Flickr, because that's where my husband found the inspiration and the model that Charm City Cakes worked from.
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Mar 11, 2008 18:56
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We are planning to get married next year around May, generally how far in advance is it a good idea to start booking stuff?
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Mar 13, 2008 07:30
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Rings: His - $200ish 14k White Gold Band Mine - $80ish 14k White Gold Band They are the same but mine is like 1mm and 4 sizes smaller, hence the price difference. They are both engraved inside. I got them from e-weddingbands.com. Ceremony: Done at the County Offices - $80 License - $80 Clothing: Dress - $30 @ The Gap Total: $370
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Mar 13, 2008 07:50
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Senor Tron posted:We are planning to get married next year around May, generally how far in advance is it a good idea to start booking stuff? I would start looking at locations ASAP if there is a place that you had in mind. If you aren't set on anything, you have time to scout around. I had to push my date up a month earlier because I couldn't get a date in September and this was exactly a year in advance. However a friend of ours just picked his spot two weeks ago for his July wedding. They're getting married in a park on the beach. Another couple we're friends with wanted to get married in their local church and they had to book 18 months out to get a date. I also had to go through 3 photographers before I found one I liked that had my date available. Basically, the sooner you find locations and vendors you like, the easier it will be to book them. It's first come first serve.
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Mar 13, 2008 14:53
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Guys: If you are having trouble deciding on what to get as your wedding ring, get tungsten carbide. We got my fiancee an awesome band for only $100. The same size in gold was $800 and white gold was $700 (IIRC). Doing that will probably help shave off some money in the budget so you can use it for other things. Also, I would like to point out that a lot of people don't recommend going to mall or chain jewelry stores, may not have much room to haggle, but they have sales all the time. The place we went to actually had the best prices for what I wanted when we got my engagement ring, including the non-chain shops we looked at. We bought my engagement ring in December and got 5 $100 gift certificates for free (some X-Mas promo). All we had to do was spend three times the amount to use it (so 1 $100 certificate = $300 spent). The wedding ring was on sale for $400 (from $800), his was only $100, and they let us use two certificates, so we basically got his ring for free and mine for a great price. What would've cost us around $1000, only ended up costing us around $400 for everything.
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Mar 13, 2008 15:15
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DaemonWyrm posted:My wife bought a ton of stuff (candles, a picture frame for each and more) and put them in these cloth tote bags that she had embroidered with each girl's name so that they would have something they could use (take it to the beach or something) that wasn't specifically from the wedding.
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Mar 13, 2008 15:19
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Medium Bi posted:Is there any tactful way to tell people that, instead of presents, we would rather have a donation to our fund for a down payment on a house? For our poor friends in their 20's, we created a registry at Target, but is it considered... rude, I guess, to ask for a donation from our better-off friends and family who will just end up buying us a really expensive crock pot and some towels that we don't need? I know people have qualms about giving money as a gift. Is that, like, taboo? I mean, we'll know how much money they spent anyway if they buy something off of our registry. What would be the best way to word it? It seems weird to be like "Our wedding is [date], and we're registered at Target, so BUY US SOMETHIN' OR GIVE US MONEY." My friends had a registry but also gave people a Paypal account if you wanted to give them cash. They just said it was for their honeymoon fund. I don't think anyone begrudged them that, it was actually really nice to give them something I knew they could use (cash) rather than just picking some generic cutting board or cookware set from a shopping list.
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Apr 5, 2008 00:01
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Engagement question for all that have been through the process: Have any of you not had the E-ring when you actually asked the question? My s.o. and I have discussed things many in general and she wants to find a ring together, but I'm at a loss on how to spice up popping the question if there's no traditional box to open.. I've debated getting a box and putting a place holder inside, as she'll understand we're to find something to fill it together. Anyway experiences in actually popping the question would be great to hear if anyone doesn't mind sharing. Also, of all the engagement/wedding planning traditions, the one I have no clue about is this: Is there an inappropriate length of time to be engaged without setting an actual wedding date? We're nowhere near financially ready to plan a real wedding, but we are most certainly wanting to move to a new phase of our relationship. If we could have the whole wedding paid for magically, setting a date would be no problem, so, it's not that I don't want to happen. Basically, how long have other people held out in the 'engaged, no date yet' phase? Any experiences that others can share about the early-engagement time and "rules" that apply would be appreciated.
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Apr 5, 2008 01:47
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Hrmm. Sounds like you can turn two problems into a solution. You can start asking her about rings, and start looking with her. This is nowhere near the level of being engaged and you can spend a couple of months on this step so you both can figure out what you may want for the future. It probably took around three months of actively looking at rings until my fiance figured out what she liked. When we got to that point, I basically didn't bring it up again until around three months later when I actually proposed. While she hadn't forgotten about the ring shopping, it was still pretty far from her mind. As to engagement rules, it really doesn't matter about lengths of time. "Have you set a date yet?" gets a bit annoying, but really....if you don't have a date, it's no big deal.
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Apr 5, 2008 02:00
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Gimpalimpa posted:Hrmm. Sounds like you can turn two problems into a solution. You can start asking her about rings, and start looking with her. This is nowhere near the level of being engaged and you can spend a couple of months on this step so you both can figure out what you may want for the future. It probably took around three months of actively looking at rings until my fiance figured out what she liked. When we got to that point, I basically didn't bring it up again until around three months later when I actually proposed. While she hadn't forgotten about the ring shopping, it was still pretty far from her mind. That is likely the most pragmatic solution. Although at the moment I think it's more that she wants the question asked far more than receiving a ring (and I'm happy to oblige on that one!); I just don't know a better way to ask the question if we both know there won't be a ring present until later. Though all of this may change and your idea of shopping for a while then having a still-surprising question with a ring happen later will come to be.
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Apr 5, 2008 02:35
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IanCaw posted:Also, of all the engagement/wedding planning traditions, the one I have no clue about is this: Is there an inappropriate length of time to be engaged without setting an actual wedding date? We're nowhere near financially ready to plan a real wedding, but we are most certainly wanting to move to a new phase of our relationship. If we could have the whole wedding paid for magically, setting a date would be no problem, so, it's not that I don't want to happen. Basically, how long have other people held out in the 'engaged, no date yet' phase? If you want to ask her before you have the ring, do something cute like buying a bubblegum machine ring and putting it in a ring box. It'll be something silly and endearing, if she's into that sort of thing. She can even wear it as a placeholder if she wants. As for length of time, the traditional length of time between engagement and marriage is one year. That is for people who can afford to set a date right after the engagement though. My fiance and I got engaged with no date set and neither of us had a problem with it. Just make sure to talk to her so that you're both on the same page as to engagement ring != immediate wedding planning freakout. When we were asked when we were getting married, I told everyone "when he makes a million dollars." Retarded? Yes. But it's a non-offensive way to get people off of your back about it. And you're going to be asked a lot. Seriously. We were going to wait at least a year between engagement and marriage because we have family from all over the US and planning and saving up for it was going to be a nightmare. Now we're getting married a little under our one-year engagement anniversary in Vegas so we don't have to deal with the hassle and expense of having a huge wedding with family from all over.
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Apr 5, 2008 18:23
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As unromantic as it is, insurance is the biggest factor dictating when my fiance and I get married. We are both students right now and both covered by our parent's medical insurance. If we were to get married we would lose that coverage and end up having to pay for our own. Right now we can't even afford the cheapest policies, and to get one that would cover his prescriptions with a small copay would probably cost us a small fortune every month. If we went without insurance, his medication would cost us over $180 a month. We are waiting to set a date until we graduate and get grown-up jobs, which means we will end up being engaged for about two years. Some days I really resent that something so stupid is keeping us from getting married , but I just have to remind myself that I doesn't change how I feel about him, or how much I want to marry him. It is just a reality that nowadays marriage is as much about finances as it is about love.
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Apr 5, 2008 19:10
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