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eclectic taste
Jun 5, 2004

Future Schmidt
$100k+ in the Indian community is very common. Of course, the culture is very different, and weddings are a way for parents to show off and celebrate with virtually anyone they've ever know in their life. Consequently, invitations are ALWAYS given as family invites, so kids and grandkids are par for the course. Indian weddings are cheap on a per person basis, because the food is vegetarian, served buffet style, and rarely involves an open bar reception. A lot of the cost goes towards gifts given to the key family members of the bride and groom (yes, given).

Of course, parents that throw 100k weddings can afford 100k weddings, AND down payments for kid's cars, college, etc.

But to keep on topic & relevance for a "Western" wedding, consider golf courses for wedding venue. I know the some of the courses around here are set up for ceremonies, and the settings are beautiful, overlooking the course, pond & waterfall, etc. These aren't private country clubs either, just local public courses.

Regarding hotels, definitely negotiate hard for room & hall rental packages. Most big hotels discount the hall rental if you pick up XXX number of rooms. Having said that, don't overlook cheaper places like Comfort Inns or Best Westerns. The room rates are far cheaper than Hyatts & Sheratons, and you can still have your reception in the big hotel, even if you pay more for the hall because you didn't take rooms there.

And final note, remember, the wedding is the beginning of a marriage - I've been married 17 years, and my memory of our wedding are fuzzy at best, but my marriage is doing fine.

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Janye
May 1, 2006

by Ozma
I was planning on eloping but we said shag it and went to the justice of the peace here to do it. The cost was VERY cheap and I don't regret it.

Engagement ring + band (it was a set) = ? He wouldn't tell me then, I still don't know now.

His band: $100, plain gold, will get a better one in a few months. (I just graduated university, bought a bigger house, new job, etc.)

Marriage license: $50

Old dude that married us: $50

Dress: An actual wedding dress with an original tag of $600, last day of a "going out of business" sale, $50

Suit: He had on dress pants and a shirt he owned.

Pictures: Friend digitally took them, $5.96 to print at wal mart.

Booze/ hotel room: $200, I got mega trashed and then called my mom to tell her, hahaha.

Total: $455.96, not including my wedding set, but I have no idea what that cost and by the sounds of it, I never will. The engagement is one big diamond on top and a bunch of twists and little diamonds all around it. The band is all twisty and little diamonds all in it. The only thing he would verify is that the diamonds are indeed real and its white gold, not sterling silver.

The reason I wanted it this way was because my sister spend about 30,000 on her wedding and is still in serious debt from it 3 years later. (She also built a new house, had a baby, new baby on the way, husband has previous kids -= child support, etc.) and I wanted my dream house when I graduated university, which I got.

If anyone wants and advice about quickie Canadian weddings, just ask. Anything I can do to help. :)

This thread is full of love. :glomp:

Backno
Dec 1, 2007

Goff Boyz iz da rudest Boyz

SKA SUCKS

Skutter posted:

Guys: If you are having trouble deciding on what to get as your wedding ring, get tungsten carbide. We got my fiancee an awesome band for only $100. The same size in gold was $800 and white gold was $700 (IIRC). Doing that will probably help shave off some money in the budget so you can use it for other things.


A big thing to know about tungsten and titanium is that they can not be resized later on in life. I was looking at titanium rings untill I found out that at some point I would have to stop wearing my wedding band.

Just something to think about

Shamisen
Mar 26, 2008

by Fragmaster

Janye posted:

The reason I wanted it this way was because my sister spend about 30,000 on her wedding and is still in serious debt from it 3 years later. (She also built a new house, had a baby, new baby on the way, husband has previous kids -= child support, etc.) and I wanted my dream house when I graduated university, which I got.

This can't be repeated enough I think. I've always thought starting off a new life in deep debt is an amazingly weird tradition in our culture. Skimp on the wedding and go for what'll last, you'll be happier in the long run that way.

cramps
Jul 27, 2003

how pretty.
I think my whole quicky wedding (counting rings, clothes, honeymoons, etc,) cost about $600. My husband and I made it as quick and fun as possible, and had a cute weekend afterwards. We do want to renew our vows sooner or later, though, so we can make a bigger deal of it and actually invite friends and family. How long should a couple wait before planning a renewal of vows? We've only been married for about nine months and I'm seventeen weeks pregnant now, so obviously we're not planning on doing it for quite some time, but how long should we wait?

Colinrobinson
Apr 10, 2005

Yeah I'm not positive what my deal is either, so I just sort of keep on truckin'
I hate to post with another "What are your experiences?" type question, but, I'm not sure a better way to word this:

How many of you asked your SO's father (or had your father asked, in the other direction) for "permission" to get engaged? My s.o.'s family is incredibly close-knit (mine is reasonably close, but nowhere near the same level) and it really seems like while I could get away with not asking the parents' permission, it would be much smarter in the long term if I do ask.

Is it worth asking permission in today's world if it seems like the right thing to do?

Slo-Tek
Jun 8, 2001

WINDOWS 98 BEAT HIS FRIEND WITH A SHOVEL

IanCaw posted:

I hate to post with another "What are your experiences?" type question, but, I'm not sure a better way to word this:

How many of you asked your SO's father (or had your father asked, in the other direction) for "permission" to get engaged? My s.o.'s family is incredibly close-knit (mine is reasonably close, but nowhere near the same level) and it really seems like while I could get away with not asking the parents' permission, it would be much smarter in the long term if I do ask.

Is it worth asking permission in today's world if it seems like the right thing to do?

It is a bit of a crapshoot. How tight are you with the dad, how likely is being negotiated for like cattle likely to wind up your lady?

I considered it, but since her pop and I aren't really tight, and she'd have some arch words to say about the patriarchy I decided against.

In the right situation, it could potentially be classy, but unless you know it will be, it probably won't.

To clarify, at one time weddings were between effectively families to consolidate land and power. Now that weddings are between two individuals in love, rather than strategic financial decisions, you almost certainly ought to ask her first and only.

GoreJess
Aug 4, 2004

pretty in pink

IanCaw posted:

I hate to post with another "What are your experiences?" type question, but, I'm not sure a better way to word this:

How many of you asked your SO's father (or had your father asked, in the other direction) for "permission" to get engaged? My s.o.'s family is incredibly close-knit (mine is reasonably close, but nowhere near the same level) and it really seems like while I could get away with not asking the parents' permission, it would be much smarter in the long term if I do ask.

Is it worth asking permission in today's world if it seems like the right thing to do?

I do not have personal experience with this situation (my dad actually told my boyfriend that if he didn't marry me he'd be in trouble), but I have friends who asked for the parents' permission. In both cases, the girls in the relationship were very traditional southern belles. If they hadn't asked for permission the girl would probably have been upset.

Is your fiance-to-be a traditional southern girl? If not, I wouldn't think that asking her father for permission to marry her is necessary.

Colinrobinson
Apr 10, 2005

Yeah I'm not positive what my deal is either, so I just sort of keep on truckin'

GoreJess posted:

Is your fiance-to-be a traditional southern girl? If not, I wouldn't think that asking her father for permission to marry her is necessary.

No, she's hardly a traditional girl, and specifically not a traditional southern one. She wouldn't really care either way, but I do know that her parents are reasonably traditional (not Southern, though) and they're a huge part of her life. We moved a couple states away from them, which is why going up to ask them is a bit of a challenge.

You make a good point, though. But it may be helpful to make them happy to start things out nonetheless. Thanks for the input!

sheri
Dec 30, 2002

IanCaw posted:

No, she's hardly a traditional girl, and specifically not a traditional southern one. She wouldn't really care either way, but I do know that her parents are reasonably traditional (not Southern, though) and they're a huge part of her life. We moved a couple states away from them, which is why going up to ask them is a bit of a challenge.

You make a good point, though. But it may be helpful to make them happy to start things out nonetheless. Thanks for the input!

I'm getting married the first weekend of May. My fiance did not ask for my father's permission. I would not have liked it if he ask my father, as I don't like the patriarchy of it all.

Perhaps, if you are set on doing something like that, inform her father beforehand of your intentions and ask for his blessing rather than permission?

Azulita
Dec 9, 2006

by Lowtax

IanCaw posted:

I hate to post with another "What are your experiences?" type question, but, I'm not sure a better way to word this:

How many of you asked your SO's father (or had your father asked, in the other direction) for "permission" to get engaged? My s.o.'s family is incredibly close-knit (mine is reasonably close, but nowhere near the same level) and it really seems like while I could get away with not asking the parents' permission, it would be much smarter in the long term if I do ask.

Is it worth asking permission in today's world if it seems like the right thing to do?

It depends entirely on your girlfriend. My brother-in-law took my father to lunch to ask for my sister's hand. He said yes, and my sister was delighted at the gesture (as was the whole family). My husband thought about doing the same thing - until I happened to mention that asking my dad for permission before bothering to ask me would make me feel like someone's property.

I would try to feel your girlfriend out a bit on this issue before deciding.

ophiolite
Jun 14, 2007

Rock star

IanCaw posted:

I hate to post with another "What are your experiences?" type question, but, I'm not sure a better way to word this:

How many of you asked your SO's father (or had your father asked, in the other direction) for "permission" to get engaged? My s.o.'s family is incredibly close-knit (mine is reasonably close, but nowhere near the same level) and it really seems like while I could get away with not asking the parents' permission, it would be much smarter in the long term if I do ask.

Is it worth asking permission in today's world if it seems like the right thing to do?

My father was actually really disappointed my husband didn't ask him for permission, and we were far from a southern family. He's come around, but I think it still sort of upset he wasn't up front with him with his intentions beforehand.

My theory is that it can't hurt. Yes, super-traditional, but the only one it could rub the wrong way is your girlfriend if she is highly independent and doesn't like traditional stuff like that. It will definitely make you a stronger person in dealing with tough situations :)

duffbeer
Apr 13, 2004

Warm and really fuzzy this time.
My wife runs a wedding invitation printing business. She also prints other wedding favors. PM me if you want more info on letterpress printing as an option (it ain't cheap, that's for sure).

Skutter
Apr 8, 2007

Well you can fuck that sky high!



IanCaw posted:

I hate to post with another "What are your experiences?" type question, but, I'm not sure a better way to word this:

How many of you asked your SO's father (or had your father asked, in the other direction) for "permission" to get engaged? My s.o.'s family is incredibly close-knit (mine is reasonably close, but nowhere near the same level) and it really seems like while I could get away with not asking the parents' permission, it would be much smarter in the long term if I do ask.

Is it worth asking permission in today's world if it seems like the right thing to do?

My fiance asked my dad, and neither of us (nor my family) is traditional in any way. He is from the South, and I had been joking about it because of that, so I guess he decided "why not?" He asked my dad when they were at my dad's best friend's house, drinking beer after working on our car together. (Ain't that cute?) It really wasn't so much asking permission as making his intentions known, and letting my dad know we were serious and committed. Sheri had a great suggested when she said you could ask for a blessing instead of permission. Although if you don't have a good relationship with your future FIL, you probably want to skip that altogether.

barraGOUDA
Apr 19, 2006

FISH + CHEESE = YAY

sheri posted:

I'm getting married the first weekend of May. My fiance did not ask for my father's permission. I would not have liked it if he ask my father, as I don't like the patriarchy of it all.

Perhaps, if you are set on doing something like that, inform her father beforehand of your intentions and ask for his blessing rather than permission?

This is exactly what I asked my fiancé do. I hate the idea of him having to ask for permission, because I'm not my parents' property (or anyone's, for that matter); I'm an adult and I can make decisions for myself. However, my parents are a little more traditional, and I figured it would be a nice compromise for him to get together with my parents alone for breakfast one day and just inform them of his intentions to marry me--no asking, just politely letting them know. Even though it was my idea (which I guess is a little weird), my fiancé agreed that it would be a good way to placate the folks.

I guess I should add that we'd all already known it was coming, so there wasn't any element of surprise (I told my parents a long time ago I knew I'd marry him). I can't speak to that. In our case, though, it was a nice little formality so Mom and Dad could feel included (even though we'd be getting married regardless of what they said), and we still maintain our independence.

Infinite Might
Mar 14, 2007

Your feeble skills are no match for the power of Bob Dole!
My partner and I know we are going to get married eventually, and this guy here wants to spend $5000 on a ring for me, which I am now okay with seeing I can get it insured easily (still terrified to lose).

We don't intend to spend anything on the wedding because we are going to sign a piece of paper to cover making my parents happy. That and we would rather spend the money on something long term.

I'll get to my question though. My question is, How many guys actually wear wedding rings?

My partner doesn't want to wear one because he simply doesn't wear jewelry, which I am okay with. My father never wore a wedding ring because of his trade (didn't want to get shocked). I am just curious as to how common it is to not wear one.

Edit: Question 2. Does anyone know the origin of the diamonds from here? http://www.diamond.com/

Azulita
Dec 9, 2006

by Lowtax
Most married men that I know wear wedding rings, but with one exception (my brother-in-law), they all wear simple bands. A basic 14K men's band can cost as little as $100.

Wench
Aug 8, 2000
MONITOR != TOUCHSCREEN. DO NOT TOUCH THE MONITOR

IanCaw posted:

I hate to post with another "What are your experiences?" type question, but, I'm not sure a better way to word this:

How many of you asked your SO's father (or had your father asked, in the other direction) for "permission" to get engaged? My s.o.'s family is incredibly close-knit (mine is reasonably close, but nowhere near the same level) and it really seems like while I could get away with not asking the parents' permission, it would be much smarter in the long term if I do ask.

Is it worth asking permission in today's world if it seems like the right thing to do?
Like others have said, it depends on a lot of things. I wouldn't call myself traditional in a lot of ways, but I am close to my parents (and, like your significant other, my family in general is very close-knit), and it's important to me that they are okay with my getting married to the guy in question. I mean, if they disapproved, that would be unfortunate, and I would go and get married anyway, but since I do love and respect them, I'd rather have them be on board with the idea.

Plus, knowing my father, I knew that it would really impress him and mean a lot to him that my fiance thought to talk to him and my mother about it at all.

So, when my fiance called (my parents live 1,000 miles away from us), he didn't ask for permission, but rather spoke to my father about how we wanted to get married, and how it would mean a lot to us if we had his and my mother's blessing, which they freely gave - after saying how they knew that I'd go off and do my own thing regardless, but if I had given my fiance permission to marry me, well then that was okay by them. :)

My fiance and I had talked about this at length prior to anything happening, so it wasn't a surprise or anything - in fact, calling my parents was my idea. I'm not sure of how much a surprise you want your proposal to be, but if you both have already talked about the fact that you want to get married, I'd say ask your s.o.

PolishPrincess
May 27, 2006
I'm Polish.
Just got engaged last week, and was given a 3 carat white sapphire by my fiancee. He has a large family, while I have only parents in Canada, and the rest are overseas in Poland. We have decided to go for a destination wedding, so as to have a more unique experience. The people who care the most will come along to celebrate with us. As to where exactly we are debating but it will be a 1.5-2 years from now. Although being an excitable girl, I got myself a Vera Wang champagne colored dress, and have casually hunting after shoes, specifically blahniks.

The theme is vintage lux. It just doesn't sound like it, but I am very thifty and will at most spend $5000 on the whole affair. Because I have a lot of time to plan, I get to really prepare the whole thing and minimize the likelihood of any Bridezilla freak out.

Romanshoes
Dec 15, 2007

Haha! They're Roman shoes! Aren't I witty?
This is a great thread and it's quite honestly given me an idea about what normal people do. When my aunt and uncle got married, they had the ceremony in their living room and got each other expensive rings, and I recently found out that my parents got married for absolutely no cost whatsoever - they had a friend who was a judge and gave them a free marriage license and then didn't bother to get cheap gold rings for each other until they bought their first house with the money they didn't spend on the wedding.

So, if you want an cheap wedding and a new house, make friends with a judge or get married in your living room.

Dr. VonHugenstein
Feb 16, 2004
They Call Him Monsterrod

IanCaw posted:

That is likely the most pragmatic solution. Although at the moment I think it's more that she wants the question asked far more than receiving a ring (and I'm happy to oblige on that one!); I just don't know a better way to ask the question if we both know there won't be a ring present until later. Though all of this may change and your idea of shopping for a while then having a still-surprising question with a ring happen later will come to be.

There's a distinct difference between picking out the ring and her knowing when the question will be popped. Start picking out the ring with her now, pick it out, and save for it, and then propose later.

I was ready to propose for months before I actually did, I think my fiancee was expecting it, and I already had the ring picked out. I just took a little bit of extra time to save. The delay was worth it in the end, because I was able to plan the perfect proposal. I definitely understand that you and your gf want to move to the next phase as soon as possible, but be a little patient and it will pay off.

HelpingFriendlyBook
Nov 3, 2005

my daily affirmation
I finally bought the engagement ring this weekend while she was away. The best advice I can give anyone is "don't be afraid to haggle". Granted, I was in the manhattan diamond district, but no matter where you are, there's a lot of competition. I described to the guy the kind of ring I wanted and the approximate size and quality of the stone and he showed me one that I liked right off the bat. I knew immediately I was going to buy it. He told me it would run about $3200 pre-tax. By the time I left I had talked him down to $2600 out the door (about $2400 pre-tax). The rock is a .55 carat Round Cut, G color, VVS1 clarity, which appears to be worth almost 2 grand on its own, depending on who you're asking. I'm sure I could have done better with some connections but I think I did alright.

Dr. VonHugenstein
Feb 16, 2004
They Call Him Monsterrod
Congrats! Sounds like a nice ring. Does it have an independent appraisal with it? If not, I would get it appraised for insurance purposes. Do you have a date or plan for popping the question yet?

HelpingFriendlyBook
Nov 3, 2005

my daily affirmation

Dr. VonHugenstein posted:

Congrats! Sounds like a nice ring. Does it have an independent appraisal with it? If not, I would get it appraised for insurance purposes. Do you have a date or plan for popping the question yet?

Actually, it doesn't have an independent appraisal. I should, though.

Yes, we're going to Spain for 10 days on April 17th. I'm presuming the perfect opportunity will present itself while we're there. Ideally I'd like to get my hands on a guitar and sing this song I wrote (stop laughing) but I'm not sure how realistic that is.

Colinrobinson
Apr 10, 2005

Yeah I'm not positive what my deal is either, so I just sort of keep on truckin'

Dr. VonHugenstein posted:

There's a distinct difference between picking out the ring and her knowing when the question will be popped. Start picking out the ring with her now, pick it out, and save for it, and then propose later.

I was ready to propose for months before I actually did, I think my fiancee was expecting it, and I already had the ring picked out. I just took a little bit of extra time to save. The delay was worth it in the end, because I was able to plan the perfect proposal. I definitely understand that you and your gf want to move to the next phase as soon as possible, but be a little patient and it will pay off.

Oh, yeah, she has made it very clear she wants to be surprised by the actual asking. There isn't any confusion there. Now I just get to try to plan a perfect way to ask. Since we're not in a rush to have a wedding (hell, I have no problem with being engaged or married at this point, but I sure as hell dread having to pay for a wedding :P), taking time before getting engaged is no big deal.

Thanks for the input.

Emilar
Jun 19, 2006
Oh snap!

Ring of Light posted:

As unromantic as it is, insurance is the biggest factor dictating when my fiance and I get married. We are both students right now and both covered by our parent's medical insurance. If we were to get married we would lose that coverage and end up having to pay for our own. Right now we can't even afford the cheapest policies, and to get one that would cover his prescriptions with a small copay would probably cost us a small fortune every month. If we went without insurance, his medication would cost us over $180 a month. We are waiting to set a date until we graduate and get grown-up jobs, which means we will end up being engaged for about two years.

Some days I really resent that something so stupid is keeping us from getting married , but I just have to remind myself that I doesn't change how I feel about him, or how much I want to marry him. It is just a reality that nowadays marriage is as much about finances as it is about love.
My best friend and her husband got married when they did for this exact reason (very different circumstances though). They were engaged for about a year, and already had a 2 month old baby when they decided to (at the very last minute) get married before the beginning of the new year, in order for her to hop on the husband's insurance plan at work (which was spouses only). They ended up getting married the weekend before Christmas, if I recall correctly, and only announced the wedding maybe 3 weeks before. Fortunately, they live (and before recently moving, I also lived...) in Las Vegas, so it was no problem to book a small chapel on the strip and have a wedding reception of less than 20 people (all local family and friends, or friends home for winter break) at her aunt's home. So basically, they were definitely intending to get married in the near future, but finances also dictated when, as in your situation.

Backno
Dec 1, 2007

Goff Boyz iz da rudest Boyz

SKA SUCKS

Infinite Might posted:


I'll get to my question though. My question is, How many guys actually wear wedding rings?

My partner doesn't want to wear one because he simply doesn't wear jewelry, which I am okay with. My father never wore a wedding ring because of his trade (didn't want to get shocked). I am just curious as to how common it is to not wear one.

Edit: Question 2. Does anyone know the origin of the diamonds from here? http://www.diamond.com/

My step dad HATES rings, so mom got him a wedding watch. Its kind of dorky imho but they both think it was a good compromise.

jcschick
Oct 12, 2004

What's the buzz? Tell me what's happenin'?
Is it tacky to just have the wedding party and the parents at the rehearsal dinner? My fiance's parents don't have a lot of money and I was just thinking we could do a quick dinner at a cheap restaurant and since there will be only 3-4 people in the wedding party, 2 sets of parents and the clergy/his wife, it would be better than having all 80 guests, etc.

quepasa18
Oct 13, 2005

jcschick posted:

Is it tacky to just have the wedding party and the parents at the rehearsal dinner? My fiance's parents don't have a lot of money and I was just thinking we could do a quick dinner at a cheap restaurant and since there will be only 3-4 people in the wedding party, 2 sets of parents and the clergy/his wife, it would be better than having all 80 guests, etc.

Basically you should invite everyone who is at the rehearsal to the rehearsal dinner. So if the only people are the wedding party and your parents, then it's OK. But if you have ushers, readers, singers, or anybody like that, they should also be invited.

You certainly do not have to invite all your guests. That's what the reception is for.

Azulita
Dec 9, 2006

by Lowtax

jcschick posted:

Is it tacky to just have the wedding party and the parents at the rehearsal dinner? My fiance's parents don't have a lot of money and I was just thinking we could do a quick dinner at a cheap restaurant and since there will be only 3-4 people in the wedding party, 2 sets of parents and the clergy/his wife, it would be better than having all 80 guests, etc.

That's all I had at mine, really. Wedding party, immediate family, and 4 out-of-town guests who happened to be staying at the hotel where the rehearsal dinner was held. We didn't even have the rehearsal dinner and the rehearsal on the same night, due to schedule complications. And consider that I had that crazy big wedding. It was really nice to just celebrate with my immediate family and close friends before the monster reception.

Midge the Jet
Sep 15, 2006

I got engaged on March 18th (11 days after our 3rd anniversary of dating). When we went to see my parents for Christmas, he and I hung around my dad's restaurant just to spend some time with my parents and to help out a little. While I was up front helping out my mom, my boyfriend(fiance) was just watching my dad cook and do things in the kitchen. Turns out he also asked my dad about what he would think of us getting married.

My parents gave their blessing, as long as we get married after we both have finished up college and have a job (lined up, at least). They got married with only my dad working, and moving together to a new country for that job (left Italy for Bermuda), and ended up having me 9 months later, so having money was hard on them. They want us to be financially set before we have the actual ceremony in mind.

My fiance proposed to me the day before I drove back home to spend my spring break with my family. It was simple, but it was heartfelt. He basically just said how he couldn't believe we had already been together for three years, and that he couldn't imagine being with anyone else. He gave me a ring that fits me...a .36 karat blue diamond, with two small white diamonds set in a white gold setting.

We're following the specs that my parents preferred, so that should land us getting married in 2010-ish. Next year I will have to really start the whole wedding process.

HelpingFriendlyBook
Nov 3, 2005

my daily affirmation
Bumping for ring acquisition!

Dunno how to describe this type of setting, does anyone know:

http://stevemcguigan.googlepages.com/ring.jpg

Agent Burt Macklin
Jul 3, 2003

Macklin, you son of a bitch

HelpingFriendlyBook posted:

Bumping for ring acquisition!

Dunno how to describe this type of setting, does anyone know:

http://stevemcguigan.googlepages.com/ring.jpg

That's really nice SM - congrats to you. And good luck on popping the question! :)

Edit: don't get nervous and pop the question in the parking lot of a Friday's like mine did!

HelpingFriendlyBook
Nov 3, 2005

my daily affirmation

Kelly posted:

That's really nice SM - congrats to you. And good luck on popping the question! :)

Edit: don't get nervous and pop the question in the parking lot of a Friday's like mine did!

hey lady, stop trolling my post history!

nice to see you

Midge the Jet
Sep 15, 2006

As my nonno passed away yesterday, it made me think about where exactly I will eventually have my wedding. My fiance's family all lives in Ohio and South Carolina, while my family all lives in Italy (Monopoli, Polignano a Mare and Castellana Grotte) with some of my cousins in Frankfurt, Germany and Paris, France. Now, its easy for my family in Europe to get together in Italy, but with the way the exchange rate is, my fiance's family could not afford it. I would love to have my family around at my wedding, when it happens, but wherever we have it, it will cause conflict. I know, at least, that I want my nonni there since they would want to see it (I'm the oldest grandchild of my mom's parents, 5th on my dad's side...just his mom now).

Unless I somehow win the lottery and am able to pay for everyone to fly over to Italy (or the US), this is going to cause me lots of headaches over the next two years. I really, really want to have my wedding in Italy just because I want to follow the our local traditions.

Gravitee
Nov 20, 2003

I just put money in the Magic Fingers!
Sorry about your nonno. Have you thought about having your traditional wedding in Italy and having a small reception here in the States?

cranberry juice
Feb 15, 2008
Just like what Gravitee suggested....

Back when my parents got married, they also had family all over the place. They had a small wedding where they lived, which was in Hawaii, and then had a reception in California where my dad's family is, and another one in the east coast where my mother's family is. I think if you let everyone involved know the logistics, you can work it out. For example, telling the family in the US they are not obligated to cross the Atlantic for your ceremony but that you want to have a reception later in Ohio or South Carolina.

Don't fret too much about it. Plus, in two years they dollar will hopefully recover.

8th-snype
Aug 28, 2005

My office is in the front room of a run-down 12 megapixel sensor but the rent suits me and the landlord doesn't ask many questions.

Dorkroom Short Fiction Champion 2012


Young Orc

Generic Superhero posted:

The cost of photographers astounds me. I'm not paying for film, nor am I paying for film processing except for shots I choose, why am I paying 200 dollars an hour for them to take digital pictures? The kicker is most places we've seen charge between 150-300 dollars for us to get the pictures they take on a DVD so we can print them ourselves. It does not cost that much to burn a drat DVD.

Ok this pissed me off so much I couldn't even finish the thread before replying. Weddings are a 12 hour day for me, I photography the rehearsal and dinner too so theres another 4 hours. Add 4 hours (very conservative) of post processing files and you get to 20 hours of work that does not count time traveling, prepping gear or any prewedding consultations. Generally I am working at least twice the amount of hours the couple actually sees me. Factor in insurance, webspace, editing software, continually upgrading camera and flash equipment and that hourly rate drops dangerously low.

That being said I have been a part-time wedding photographer for the last few years and would be happy to answer anyones photography related questions.

ChlamydiaJones
Sep 27, 2002

My Estonian riding instructor told me; "Mine munni ahvi türa imeja", and I live by that every day!
Ramrod XTreme
We blew something like $5k on ours 5 years ago. We paid for rings, a dress, browsing food, wine, invites, a bartender/caterer, a JP, a jukebox and a floor of a museum.

It turns out that you can rent anything including museums. So we rented the bottom floor of the Portland Museum of Art for the wedding and the reception - something like 5 hours. It has a pretty cool stairway leading down to the glass gallery that we could make our entrance from and a nice big open space for dancing. We invited like 60 people and everyone showed up with friends, ~80 people, maybe more.

We bought like $1500 worth of healthy browsing food from the caterer and had them serve the wine too. Her mom picked up the wine from a local store that cut us a deal on 6 or 7 cases of a variety of white wines (the floors are marble and will absorb spilled red so it's not allowed). So $650 worth of wine. Table rental from the museum was pretty cheap, call it $600 for setup and take down. Clear plastic disposable plates and wear all around - $30 at Target. Werlitzer delivery and pickup for one 24 hour period (with the box loaded with our CDs) was like $350 or something.

So the plan was to have everyone show up 45 minutes before the wedding, get loaded on readily available white wine and a very small amount of walking around food - wine + not much food + music = happy dancing people.

Then the JP called the meeting to order ($150 I think), played the wedding march on the jukebox and we walked down the stairs to many oos and aaaahs because my soon to be wife is amazingly beautiful and I'm pretty scary looking and old. So we were cute apparently. Or people were scared for her. Whatever. Everyone clustered at the bottom of the stairs and we did the vows while the caterer placed the food behind all the people. Then we kicked the JP out and had a party. Total for the wedding ceremony and reception then was just in excess of $3200.

Dress was a few hundred for last years model, hair and all that was donated. Pictures were primarily cameras left on the tables and a couple relatives with nice cameras donating their pics. All you need is a couple of nice pictures to send to relatives and a couple to hang on your wall. The rest are just friggin fine being taken by your friends and relatives. They see stuff that a photographer misses anyway!

The wedding cake was donated by a relative so that's another expense we avoided that many people can't. It would have run several hundred though.

Invitations are something that friends and relatives keep so we did them all by hand. We paid a couple hundred for unfinished paper, envelopes that matched and tissue paper inserts and poo poo. Very girlie. We bought cool ink stamps and sealing wax with different wax stamps. Printed the tissue paper things and envelopes at work, signed everything by hand and wrote the salutations by hand and then stamped flowers and bugs on everything and sealed the inner invitation with real wax. People commented on the invitations ALL night so they were a success. Total cost was maybe $400 and hours of work.

Rings were a couple hundred and plain. The engagement ring was an emerald I found at a gem and mineral show months earlier and had custom mounted. The rock was like a grand(not a part of the wedding expense) and the mounting was ~400 in white gold.

What else.... oh yeah - we planned and executed this whole thing from Denver. The wedding was in Maine. We had relatives pick stuff up for us but 90% happened online and on the phone and came together perfectly. People flew in on their dime

All in all, we made the family happy with a service, great memories, enough pics and all that for more than we wanted to spend but less than we could have by letting someone else do the planning. My suggestion is to do as much as humanly possible yourself and don't try to look like Cinderella - you should be happy during your marriage, not only at the service. The service is the easy part.

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jennyinstereo
Jan 17, 2007

[rocking faces since the 80s]

cramps posted:

I think my whole quicky wedding (counting rings, clothes, honeymoons, etc,) cost about $600. My husband and I made it as quick and fun as possible, and had a cute weekend afterwards. We do want to renew our vows sooner or later, though, so we can make a bigger deal of it and actually invite friends and family. How long should a couple wait before planning a renewal of vows? We've only been married for about nine months and I'm seventeen weeks pregnant now, so obviously we're not planning on doing it for quite some time, but how long should we wait?

We got married in a court house in August of 2006. My mother in law and my husband's best friend was there at the time.

We decided to renew our vows on our 1 year anniversary in Montreal(August 25, 2007) so that we could have friends and family there (I immigrated to the USA and so none of my Canadian family and friends were there on the wedding day). It was fantastic. I wouldn't wait too long.

We thought a year was good because we were still considered newly married and it was a kick rear end way to celebrate our first anniversary. We had a huge bash at a restaurant where my dad walked me down the aisle between the tables to the "head table". My mom's best friend gave a speech to everyone about us renewing our vows. We then read out our own vows and proceeded to make everyone cry. I got to wear a beautiful wedding dress, had a beautiful bouquet, etc. We treated it like a real wedding since we never had one. People brought gifts, we had a buffet style dinner, amazing cake, wedding favours, programs, cameras on the tables, etc. We even had our first dance, etc. Everyone treated it like a real wedding rather than just a simple renewal of vows. You can do it whatever way you like but I think that if you want it to feel more like a wedding, I'd do it sooner rather than later.

jennyinstereo fucked around with this message at 19:26 on Apr 24, 2008

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