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amethystbliss posted:Yeah, we're in a similar situation. We're going the U.S. fiance visa route, which means we either go on a honeymoon in the U.S. after he enters the states or do a pre-wedding honeymoon so we can legally go abroad. S'up, fellow K-1 filer. We've already gone through this process and are currently adjusting status, so if you have any questions about the process or want to scream in abject frustration about all the goddamn bullshit you've gone through to an empathetic ear, feel free to PM me. If you're willing to wait three months for your honeymoon, you could apply for Advanced Parole since you'll have to pay for it regardless if you want it or not, and go once it's granted. Or you could do what we did, get a quickie legal ceremony to get the paperwork ball rolling and then have a wedding followed by honeymoon at your leisure.
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Jul 10, 2008 10:10
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DubDisciple posted:Third option: whether you do the quickie wedding or your real wedding, you can file the adjustment and then seek emergency advance parole at your local office. Depends very much on your local office and you should ask your lawyer if it's feasible. For some reason it's actually very easy in New York -- you don't need a real emergency. We didn't use a lawyer. We didn't need one, or want to pay for one when we were just as capable of filling out the paperwork ourselves. Our case was simple, straightforward, and my visa was approved so fast I sputtered and asked the Consular Officer at the end of my less than three-minute interview "Is that it?". I recommend people investigate visajourney.com and DIY unless they've got some unusual complications, like entering the country on a non-marriage visa and getting married, etc. Is emergency advanced parole so readily available in all states? I've heard of people getting denied to go see relatives on deathbeds, etc. and their requests to expedite their AP denied. It would definitely make their honeymoon plans easier.
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Jul 10, 2008 23:10
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Big Bad Voodoo Lou posted:It feels like an insult -- like everyone is trying to subvert my role as the guy, as the provider. What kind of chump would I be if her parents split the cost of the ring with me? Why can't I find her a similar, but more affordable ring and pay for it all myself? Isn't it usually the guy who goes out and picks out a ring to surprise the girl, and she will love it regardless (assuming he put some thought and effort into it)? Oh, I agree. You should bring her family a freshly-wrestled wild cow, and then club her over the head and drag her off to your tent. Why should you put her happiness above your need to fulfill your traditional role as provider? It sounds like she doesn't know her place. Don't forget to inform her when you are having children, where you will live, and what time dinner needs to be on the table when you come home. Seriously, you've painted an unflattering picture of yourself as a pre-60's caveman with comments like that. I agree that you shouldn't pay the inflated price of a mall store, why not contact some top-rate online jewelers like Whiteflash, or Wink Jones of Winfield's, for quotes on what a replica would cost you?
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Aug 16, 2008 21:36
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Big Bad Voodoo Lou posted:That's what I meant. I could have explained myself better, but RedFish went out of his/her way to distort my point completely and paint me as some kind of backwards macho jerk. I like to think I'm the complete opposite -- just as one example, we've already discussed how she wouldn't want to change her last name due to having been published before, and I'm totally cool with that. And to clarify for everyone who was kind enough to respond to me, I want to get her the best ring I can comfortably afford that fits what she wants. We've already been browsing at ShaneCo (which didn't have anything she liked), Jared (which had a couple decent rings), and the expensive mall store (with the one ring she loved). By now I have a really good idea of what she wants, and have every intention of delivering. It's very vintage-inspired, not a terribly common design. My point was that statements like "It feels like an insult -- like everyone is trying to subvert my role as the guy, as the provider" are pretty over the top, and thus you got an equally ridiculous response. I highly doubt anyone is trying to 'insult' you or "subvert your role as the [...] provider". I was pointing out that's a very antiquated attitude to have. If you girlfriend sees this ring as the ring she will wear forever without changing it, or you yourself prefer it never be changed or 'upgraded', then you need to consider all your options. I've spent a lot of time on a site where the implications of an engagement ring have been debated to death, and the bottom line seems to come down to sacrifice. What did the man give up for this ring. Did he give up on his creature comforts to save up for the ring, or maybe did he give up his rigid ideas about how things were 'supposed to happen. Sometimes that means letting go of your pride and deciding that allowing her to help with the cost, such as him buying the stone and her buying the setting, is the best option despite your preference for 'tradition'. Traditions are not as reliable or welcome today, who cares about what was relevant for your great-grandparents' time, make the decision as a partnership between adults, choose between the two of you the way you want things to go. I'm not saying go ahead and take the money from her parents, I'm saying you need to let go of the idea that it's an offense against your 'guyhood' for them to try to help you make their daughter happy. I agree, don't go and get ripped off by a mall store. I gave you two great suggestions for alternatives. Keep in mind that when you buy a diamond, you need to be educated on the science behind a diamond's performance, and not be duped by the fancy and misleading lighting mall stores use to make their overpriced diamonds look worth the price. If you want to see what you really can get for the price the mall store was asking, go to http://www.pricescope.com and plug in the numbers into their diamond lookup. The professionals and enthusiasts on that site will be happy to help hunt down both diamonds and settings that will fit your budget and tickle your girlfriend's fancy. Edit: \/ \/ I gather it's the same idea as most gifts where the effort (monetary, investment of time, difficulty obtaining it, etc) put into the gift is part of it's value, just more extreme. It's an unusually sentimental item. The diamond industry has done a bang-up marketing job of convincing people that diamonds are a necessity instead of a luxury, which makes me a little jaded about the sentimental aspect. RedFish fucked around with this message at 08:27 on Aug 17, 2008 |
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Aug 17, 2008 06:04
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goatse guy posted:I agree that it sounds ridiculous. It should be about compromise, not about sacrificing your financial wellbeing over a rock. Not to split hairs, but focusing on the monetary aspect is ignoring the other forms of sacrifice I was talking about. Your quote was just shorter than the others. Again, we didn't bother with an engagement ring (he protested a bit, but was relieved) so take this from the perspective of someone who has struggled to 'get' why this custom is still practiced. It's not always financial sacrifice. Sometimes 'compromise' IS the sacrifice, aka he wants to get whatever he prefers and he sacrifices doing things 100% 'his way' and compromises. Sometimes it's about giving up the "UNGH ME MAN" attitude and letting her contribute to the ring. Sometimes it's about making an effort and sleuthing out what she wants from her family and friends, and not copping out and getting the white gold princess cut diamond you were going to buy when you wandered into the mall store and told the chick there "I need something for $X" and instead find out that she'd prefer a yellow gold ring with an oval sapphire, or that she doesn't even want a ring at all and would rather have something else. Making an effort in some sense, not necessarily financial. But for those couples who want to go the traditional engagement ring route, there is nothing wrong with the man giving up buying his new toys and holding off splurging on himself for a bit to save up enough to get her something she wants, provided that the relationship is balanced and she doesn't want something retarded. I like the idea of women saving up for his engagement gift of equal value to the ring if he won't budge on letting her help.
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Aug 17, 2008 20:01
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HippyJuliet posted:I would really recommend against this. Pictures can be manipulated and descriptions can lie. While a bad salesperson may try to lie to you and try to push bad diamonds on you, a good salesperson will be the best tool you can use. I sell diamonds to people who have no idea what they are buying and its my job to help them learn. A website can give you information, but can not walk you through the buying process. If that was the case with Whiteflash, they wouldn't have the reputation that they do. Many of the reputable online vendors will arrange for a diamond to be shipped to an indepedent appraiser close to you so you can view it in person before committing to buy, as well as giving you a chance to hear what the appraiser thinks of the diamond. The vendors highly praised on Pricescope usually have physical operations open to nearby customers if you prefer to visit them. Pricescope educates consumers about what to look for in a diamond. I remember seeing video footage of a diamond industry convention (if that's the appropriate word) where experts were talking about how Pricescope has 'revolutionized the diamond industry' and that many vendors were none too pleased about the new, educated, discerning consumers wandering into their stores and asking uncomfortable questions. So a website can walk you through the buying process, provided that it's a forum of diamond addicts and professionals. Every time I meet someone who wandered into a 'brick & mortar' and got fleeced for something that only looks good under store lighting, I want to smack them and ask why they didn't educate themselves first instead of wandering into a store like a lamb to the slaughter. There is nothing wrong with buying from a brick & mortar store, aside from higher overhead costs passed onto the customer, provided that you've educated yourself enough to ask for the stats on the certificate and be able to interpret them without the 'helpful' advice of an overeager salesperson.
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Sep 9, 2008 22:11
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Tatiana posted:We're going to be leaving for Japan the week after for more schooling, so we need to find a tasteful way to tell people not to buy us any giant crystal bowls or blenders and give us a check instead. Unfortunately, there is no tasteful way to tell people you want money instead of a gift. I'd be thrilled if there was, but the reality is some, if not most, of your guests are going to be offended as hell if you ask for cash instead of a gift. It's retarded, because how many young couples need china instead of ready funds, but the fact is a lot of people consider cash gift requests the height of rudeness-- I know of people who refused to attend the wedding because they were so insulted by the cash gift in lieu of presents/registry on the invite/whatever the gently caress they wanted to get their panties in a twist over/etc. People don't like the exact cash value of their gift to be nakedly displayed, as well as the assumption that they must give a gift, even if they were planning on giving one anyway.  Personally, I think people should stop getting so uptight about wedding etiquette in general. Some people are still direly insulted by registries, for chrissake! The best way to deal with this, in my opinion, is to enlist a gossipy family member to let people know on the down low that you're leaving the country and can't take any household items with you, so the most helpful thing to give would be the ability to purchase the items you need once you arrive. DO NOT try to do this yourself, unless you want a poo poo-ton of drama from huffy guests.
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Oct 26, 2008 18:58
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WolfensteinBag posted:So, is it possible at all to resize a tungsten ring later on? We were looking at some, and my fiance really loved the darker metal, but he's worried about his hands swelling when he's older and wouldn't want to buy an entirely new ring. No, it cannot be resized, you will have to have a new one made. Tungsten rings are supposedly now made with a weak point so they can be snapped off at hospitals, etc.
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Nov 22, 2008 21:02
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zman8 posted:As this may have been, and was most likely, answered before, I hesitate to ask (please note that the search features are down right now). Go to http://www.pricescope.com already. I know James Allen has a decent reputation there. The forums will help you search for the best diamond you can get for your budget. Think of an entire forum of consumers who know their poo poo and would love an excuse to plow through pictures of diamonds to find one that fits what you need.
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Nov 27, 2008 01:53
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Please, please, PLEASE remember, ring shoppers, that the most important 'C' is Cut, not Clarity, Colour, or Carat Weight. Even a D, IF diamond with a crappy cut will look like a chunk of frozen spit, whereas an amazingly cut H, SI1 will face up white with a ton of flash and fire, in addition to being a more reasonable price and still flawless to the naked eye. This is why I tell people to go to Pricescope to get educated on diamonds. Please do not get suckered into buying a diamond that only looks good on paper, unless part of those qualifications on paper are the angles of an ideally cut diamond. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT take salespeople's word that it's a 'great cut'. Go by the math. As for the poll, I'm married with a vintage set from an estate sale. It's the only way I'd tolerate getting a diamond, if it was recycling luxury goods. My last piece of advice is to enlist girls' girlfriends to gossip about what shape of stone and colour of metal she likes. Women can and do spend hours gossiping about sparkly things. If my guy had gotten me a princess cut in white gold, it would remain in my jewelery box, well-loved and appreciated but rarely worn.
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Nov 28, 2008 20:16
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zman8 posted:Don't have any side photos, although my mom is also requesting them, so I will put them up when I can. gently caress yeah!  You made my day!I actually looked at your post with a sinking heart, assuming that my repeated pleas in this thread to go to Pricescope had been unheeded. It warms my heart that someone actually took the time to go to PS and get educated on diamonds before making their purchase. Congrats on getting a rocking diamond; now you can pop into Maul stores and laugh over the prices they're asking for stones that don't deserve to be in the same room as yours. 
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Jan 8, 2009 19:14
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Narwhale posted:I actually proposed last month with pretty that exact ring from (.44 carat though    Congrats on getting an awesome diamond. I don't remember which long post you were referring to (was it the one where I begged people to remember Cut was the most important of the Cs?) but I'm so glad it helped you. Just pay it forward by steering your buddies away from danger, that's all I ask.Did you get your ring reset or resized? I know that generally channel-set rings can be a giant pain in the rear end to resize, although if the accent diamonds are princess cuts they probably don't run as much risk of chipping when the edges rub like rounds do. Did you get BN to do it, or a local jeweler? Has she walked into anything yet while staring at her hand? That's a pretty blingtastic set you've got there; it must be a disco ball when light hits it.
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Jan 9, 2009 08:27
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). I meant to thank this thread for all the help, but it slipped my mind. I emailed RedFish's long post to myself a few months ago and consulted it regularly. I never even set foot in a mall store, and it makes me happy knowing that I got a better deal than my friend who also proposed but went to Jared (bastard did it 4 days before me 
). So thanks, RedFish. I owe you a beer. I'm sure I'll be hanging out here more in the coming months.
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zman8 posted:This is so true.  Yes, yes it is!  Take her to a movie theatre at night. I almost tripped over the curb outside and had to be towed through the line, and when inside was disappointed when the movie started because they dimmed the lights.
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Jan 9, 2009 19:47
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Don Danger posted:Anyways, what's a good price for a wedding ring? I could do with a poo poo wedding band, but is $4k-5k getting a really good band + stone for the bride or "meh" ones?. Couple of questions: what country are you in? This makes a big difference when it comes to traditions surrounding the rings. If you are in the US/Canada (possibly other English speaking countries) the engagement ring is the one with the big rock, which is a totally different deal than the wedding band. Recently there has been a trend to have the engagement ring and wedding band match, but many people continue to have a band (or bands) and the e-ring not be a set. Some women have very strong preferences about it, in fact. My e-ring and wedding band will not match as I won't be wearing them together, but I have seen other women choose multiple bands for above and below the e-ring, stackable bands, traditional bands, multi-toned bands ... the list goes on. In the above mentioned countries, the e-ring with the rock is the biggest deal, so I recommend that you do some research and educate yourself on the process and pitfalls. http://www.pricescope.com is a forum with knowledgeable consumers who will help you find something in your budget that is good quality if you want their help, but do educate yourself either way. I apologize if you already knew all this and I just misinterpreted the above quoted sentence.
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Jan 16, 2009 21:11
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Kumon posted:Ok, I am really trying to figure this out, but how do I see what kind of cut I am getting on pricescope.com? Bluenile.com is just a slider bar over to ideal-sig, where there is no indication on what the cut is on pricescope.com. If you aren't sure, then start a thread on the forum that says: "Hi, I am looking for a diamond for my girl's engagement ring. She likes X shaped stones, and Y type rings (white gold/yellow gold/3 stone/solitaire/whatever). My budget is Z. HALP!" ... and you will get a bunch of replies from kindly consumers who are diamond-obsessed and would love to have an excuse to strafe through a ton of diamonds looking for a good match. I agree with the rankings above. Cut first and formost, then clarity, colour, and carat. A good cut will hide a myriad of clarity/colour sins. A good cut will visibly whiten a lower colour, and provided that you don't have a giant visible inclusion, you can go lower on clarity a well. All you really need is eyeclean. Who cares if you can spot a feather with giant magnification, provided it's not a structural danger?
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Feb 5, 2009 07:38
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dopaMEAN posted:Do any of these considerations- cut, color, clarity- apply to moissanite? I ask for a, uh, a friend. I have no idea. Maybe google for some moissanite forums? I know Bella's is a popular moissanite vendor but I don't know much beyond that. Scraping my brain about what I've read about it on betterthandiamond (CZ/man-made stone forum backed by a fancypants CZ vendor -- we briefly considered getting a nice setting with a CZ that we could replace with a stone later, but ended up getting a vintage set off ebay). I know that the biggest issue with moissanite is a green/yellow/gray colour that can make it really obvious it's not a diamond, and in a bad way. I've heard from moissanite fans that they really like the double-refraction of a moissanite and seem to value it on its own merit instead of as a diamond substitute. Clarity isn't a problem usually, as it's man-made (the original material was found in a meteorite and they replicated it, how geekily awesome is that?!  ) but colour is a big issue. Moissanites also react to light differently than diamond.My advice to you is get a moissanite if you've seen the stone in person and love it's characteristics, but if you want it as a stand-in for a diamond I urge you to do a lot of research. Like any coloured stone, you may have to search for a long time to find the right one for you.
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Feb 5, 2009 10:39
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Wine, beer, and a signature cocktail. If people turn their nose up at your proffered free booze, they can buy their own. Have the bartender let people know that's what's available, but they've squirreled away their own stash under the table and people can purchase it off the bartender if they're so minded. (Not serious) Or just go with the above three. Keeps costs way down, and no one has ever said anything at the weddings I've been to that did this.
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Mar 3, 2009 07:38
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LittleCat posted:Okay, we've sorted out our alcohol plans (I hope). This sounds like a great idea. No one is being excluded unless they turn their noses up at what you're offering them. If they want a $80 scotch instead of wine, beer, or the signature cocktail, then they can bloody well buy it themselves. People are there to celebrate you and your marriage, not get hammered on your dime. If anyone feels like your wedding is their entitlement to get hammered on your dime, DTMFA.
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Mar 17, 2009 23:01
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brc64 posted:Okay, our plans just hit a wild curve. This is what we did, because we're an international/immigration couple. We had to get married immediately after our paperwork was approved and I entered the US, and rather than getting in a flap about it, we just got a quickie legal deal done and told everyone that we'll have the 'real' wedding in a few years. It cost us $35 for the judge fee and the certificate/license, and it took less than 3 minutes for the judge to marry us. Easiest way ever! I'd say let your families know that you don't consider this the 'real' wedding, this is just legal BS you've got to get out of the way before you move. In your (plural) eyes, the 'real' wedding will be when you stand up in front of your families and friends and declare your vows in front of them. Also, doing it in stages like this has made us refreshingly blase about the actual wedding. The cake not arriving is not going to ruin 'our day'.
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Mar 19, 2009 17:37
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brc64 posted:My head is spinning! Meh, don't look at it as the 'real' wedding, then. We jokingly call it our 'ceremony of cohabitation' because Texas has/had some wacky laws about living in sin and poo poo. We are legally permitted to live and  in any state we choose now, otherwise it's no different. We neither think of one another as husband and wife nor refer to one another that way unless necessary.
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Mar 19, 2009 23:16
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Guy LeDouche posted:I'll be popping the question in the next few months (probably July, so I have time), but I was wondering about ring settings. I have the diamonds (2 .25 ct, 1 1.0 ct), they're from her grandmother's ring. Its no surprise to her, since she got the ring from her aunt and gave it to me after we talked about rings. The last we talked, she's expecting it around her bday at the end of Sept, so I want to catch her off guard as best I can. If she's picky about the setting, propose with the old ring and allow her to pick out the setting. And omfg yes insure that bitch. (the ring, not the girl.) It's better to get the diamonds appraised for insurance purposes separately, so do that now, and then get an estimate from the jeweller you go with for replacement value on the whole thing. That way, if someone mugs your girl and demands that she hand over the ring or they'll cut it off her finger, you can get it replaced. (the ring, not the finger.) Go to http://www.pricescope.com and ask for help. They'll be happy to give you ideas even if it's for the setting and not the diamond. Think bored wives with too much time and rich husbands, who do nothing but troll the internet for shiny jewellery all day. They'll have giant stashes of ring porn on their hard drives, and soon you'll be flooded with so many inspiration options you'll run away screaming. Win! Ninja edit: don't go to a mall store unless you want to get fleeced like a chump. There are a few goons who work for B&M stores (brick and mortar, aka not online vendors) so if you're dealing with custom work you may want to check them out. You'll be looking at a tradeoff: potentially lower price from an online vendor, vs local craftsperson's service. If you decide to do a custom setting, local may be better if you can't find anything online that she likes or if you're worried you can't communicate your ideas well, but you'll be paying a premium because they have higher overhead costs. Whatever you do, don't let her see any Van Craeynest designs, or she'll fall in love with their swirly curlicues and floral motifs (first thing I thought of when you said Pixeljunk's Eden) and you'll drop dead when you find out how much they cost.
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Mar 31, 2009 05:41
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amethystbliss posted:I just got married to my British husband in March and we went the K-1 route. Let me know if you have any questions about the process! Ditto to any help you need with the k-1 process, or any enraged rants about how much the process sucks. We joked about marriage on day two of talking after a quick chat the night before as I was getting ready to go to a party. It was funny because hey, it's not like it's ever going to happen, right? 
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Jun 12, 2009 17:43
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Guy LeDouche posted:got the ring, now its only 12 days I have to keep my goddamned mouth shut. I think it turned out great. Thanks to all that helped. Drawers are the worst place. Can't you hide it at work or something? How about stuffed into an old game case, does she rifle through your video game collection?
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Jun 21, 2009 04:29
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Bardlebee posted:
https://www.pricescope.com Go there. If you want, you can ask the hordes of diamond fanatics to find you an amazing diamond within your budget. They are already spend hours a day sifting through sites for shiny things, they're really happy when you give them an excuse. Read the educational part first, and then ask them to find you something within your price range. That will give you a starting point. In terms of basics, the one thing you cannot sacrifice is cut. If it gets too overwhelming, just ask the forum to find you one, but if you're nerdy, go ahead and get into the angles, etc that make a cut good.
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Jun 22, 2009 15:38
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tishthedish posted:The pastor says I'm just supposed to watch and tell everyone how I want them to stand, and there will be a stand-in for me because the bride is 'only supposed to walk down the aisle once'. No problem, come in from the side during the practice run  Let him chew on that.
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Jun 28, 2009 18:43
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Hawkeye posted:Those are some good points, thanks. GoG has a stellar rep on pricescope. I'd recommend going with Winfield's or GoG, based on the customer service and the presence of those two vendors over the years I've been reading pricescope. Both seem to be very customer-driven and go the extra mile for their customers, whereas whiteflash and bluenile have occasionally run into problems with being too big to care, especially lately.
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Jul 3, 2009 19:26
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Sehkmet posted:This thread is the best thread. Provided there is nothing unusual about your case (bans from entering the US, etc) you'll sail right through. My visa interview was about 30 seconds long; most Canadians have little trouble because (as the consular officer put it, complete with  gesture) we don't have "motivation" to immigrate to the US. Do not waste any energy worrying about being approved; Cdn meets USC is a story as old as the border and it raises no eyebrows, despite how the process likes to make things difficult.However, since you're on a k-1, it's a good idea to try to plan the second stage so you don't end up trapped inside the US, unable to work or do anything, for 6+ months. We did a quickie legal marriage within 48hrs of my arrival so we could get the second batch of paperwork rolling. As it was, I got here at the end of May and couldn't work until September. However, I was able to apply for Cdn EI; there is lots of info on how to do that on the site I'm linking below. I recommend not wasting money on having a lawyer fill out the paperwork for you; go to http://www.visajourney.com and follow the guides there, unless you have money to burn. The second stage filing is hella expensive as it is, you don't need to pay a lawyer extra to do something you can easily do yourself. We filled everything out ourselves and had no problems aside from my husband being a doofus and forgetting to ask his dad for a copy of his birth certificate, which delayed things perhaps for a week or two at most. If you have any questions about the process, let me know; there are a few k-1 filers in this thread. As for bio-dad and the people who actually raised you, I'd recommend either going down the aisle by yourself or have them relay you down the aisle; bio-dad first who hands you to mom and step dad on either side of you, who walk you down the second half.
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Jul 5, 2009 17:21
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Guy LeDouche posted:so i proposed, she said yes, all went well, but now we're freaking out about how to pay for it. Her happy tears make me feel awesome, the sad tears on the other hand Congrats! We require handshots so we can make appreciative comments that will make your chest swell with pride, tia. Get secretly married first and then the big wedding thing will lose it's urgency.  Failing that, do some research on how to DIY things. Have it on an unusual day of the week to cut down venue costs. Find a pastry student to bake the cake, or do a cupcake cake made by friends. Get the flowers from a wholesalers and arrange them yourselves. Look at the offbeat bride. Prioritize, and then start letting go of things that don't matter. Find alternate venues for cheap. Buy a second-hand dress. There are lots of ways to cut costs, have her funnel her anxious energy into research.
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Jul 6, 2009 15:49
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demozthenes posted:
quote:you picked yours out of mom's jewelry box. quote:*Many people say "family heirloom" when they really mean "my grandfather didn't eat for a month to buy this and escaped the Nazis and smuggled this out of wartime Poland in his rectum for four months on a steamship to propose to grandma when she met him at Ellis Island and blah blah" or whatever. "Dad gave it to Mom and she never wears it, so here you go" is obviously going to conflict with that ideal. Word. Sorry dude. I don't see her as some sort of supabitch for not being thrilled over your mom's unwanted anniversary ring when it's completely reasonable for her to believe she was getting something passed down through generations of your family.
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Jul 15, 2009 01:55
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Eris posted:I understand what she thought, but so what? It didn't match her ideal romantic vision. So, she ... refused it? Because it didn't have a backstory that matched her fantasy? From what I can tell, marriage is about real life and taking the bumps as they come - not matching up to some romantic fantasy. Maybe she isn't a superbitch, but I certainly wouldn't want to marry someone with their head in the clouds. Can't have it both ways. The idea of the woman waiting for the man to propose instead of just deciding as a couple to marry is itself a romantic fantasy that has little modern relevance. What I have noticed that many men don't seem to get is that most women care about effort, not a certain size, or price, or whatever else people accuse women of. They care about how much effort and thought went into the choice of the ring. Asking your family for great-granny's engagement ring is a big deal and admirable effort, scrounging something generic from Zales out of yo mama's pile of unwanted jewelery is not.
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Jul 15, 2009 02:32
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EchoBase posted:Well, thanks for all the responses. We sorted it out last night, it came down to a miscommunication. For two and a half years she told me she didn't want a ring at all, I convinced her she should have one for various reasons a few months back but she was still staying she didn't want us to spend our money on one (that was when the possibility of using a ring from my parents came up). Over the past few months, with the idea of having a ring planted, she did a complete 180 and decided she want a traditional ring that I picked out myself (I think Redfish summed it up: she wanted the effort and to see what I would personally pick for her). She was waiting for an opportunity to tell me as she was uncomfortable telling me straight out that she had changed her mind on the topic. So, I'm ring hunting now...not a big deal to me in the end, but it sucks that I didn't find this out before... You poor things. She was miserable that she didn't tell you she'd changed her mind, and you were miserable that she wasn't happy with the ring. Glad you two talked it out, it's a good sign that you two can talk about something as sensitive about the ring.I think ring hunting after the proposal is a great idea because you can have the rush of the proposal and then the leisure of picking out a ring with her input, even if that input is limited to ring size and metal preference- the last is very important for both aesthetic and allergy reasons. There's a thread full of goon/ettes ready to help you with any ring questions you might have Fake edit: in my case, the tremendous effort my husband went through to procure my ring was to give up his ingrained ideas about how things "were supposed to be" and allow me to get a $150 set off ebay that I'd fallen in love with. His manly instincts rebelled, but we were poor, in different countries, and spending thousands on immigration. It grated on his pride to get such an inexpensive ring that I'd picked out myself, with no proposal fanfare or grand gestures. To this day I am extremely proud of my lovely set (yellow gold band with a tiny diamond and white gold leaf detail against a black antiqued background, it's gorgeous, if very modest) not only because it's pretty but because it was such a sacrifice for him to accept it's circumstances. I'm going to go hug him now.
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Jul 16, 2009 04:24
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lord1234 posted:its not about punishing the brother. I feel it would be much more difficult for the brother to sit through a 7+hour event then it would be for him to stay at home with the PCA. Is the child going to be disruptive? If it's going to be one of those situations where the child is going to be screaming and causing a scene for the entirety of the ceremony, then it was not unreasonable, if inappropriate, to ask if he would be more comfortable at home rather than sitting through said 7 hour event.
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Jul 20, 2009 15:43
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Hawkeye posted:Most of this thread I have noticed is that yes, it should be all about the bride and groom. Not the screaming kid. Plus, if her family hadn't been a flock of cunts for the entire process, I imagine that he and his fiancee would be attempting other options, but it sounds like they're thisclose to telling the entire family where to stick it, which is bad grounds for the family to be making demands of them. Also, etiquette wise: who pays has the say. If they didn't contribute in any meaningful way to your wedding, they can keep their opinions to themselves.
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Jul 20, 2009 16:20
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King Skinny Pimp posted:Also, my husband doesn't wear his ring to work, but he's an electrician so I don't mind. I think the necklace idea someone mentioned would probably work, but in some cases, like mine, it's just not feasible. Less metal is better when you're around live wires. I read a post where an electrician would wear his ring when he mowed the lawn/was outside in the sun on the weekends/etc, so he would always have a tan line there to show there was supposed to be a ring there. That way there was no risk of losing it by taking it off all the time. Just an idea.
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Sep 4, 2009 01:19
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STAT1C_X posted:Any other recommended locations to buy a solitary diamond besides Brilliant Earth? I already have the ring, just need to secure a center stone and Blue Nile has much better deals than the local places and I just want to know if there is another option I am overlooking. There are lots of loose stone vendors. Winfield's and Good Old Gold were two I remember from my pricescope.com days as being excellent. Whiteflash used to be good but then they got too big and their quality and customer service went to poo poo as their prices rose. Pop onto pricescope and take a look at the loose stone vendors, you'll get online prices but with better policies than Bluenile.
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Nov 16, 2009 06:07
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Omits-Bagels posted:Do the guys generally tell people before he is about to propose? Like his parents/her parents? Or is it better for it to be a surprise to everyone? It can be tricky. We didn't end up getting engaged, but there is a long and convoluted story about how he went to extreme lengths to give me the perfect proposal with the details I wanted (date and ring) while keeping me totally oblivious. He got my mother and best friend in on it, and my mother told some of her friends it was happening. I ended up cracking under the pressure of our immigration paperwork and declaring I refused to get engaged at all, not realizing he had something planned- and when we went to my mother's, her friend was all  "YAY YOU'RE ENGAGED LET ME SEE THE RING!!" which made me  and my guy a combination of  and  because he'd been keeping the proposal itself a secret from me and hadn't yet told anyone it was cancelled. If he HAD still planned on proposing and I hadn't wigged out about it, she would have completely ruined his surprise proposal that wasn't scheduled to happen until a few days AFTER anyway!So I'd probably keep it to yourself unless she knows it's coming and you don't care if someone blabs to her.
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Nov 25, 2009 05:12
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Gravitee posted:Would you ladies and gentlegoons be interested in a Wedding/Engagement IRC channel? Fire in the Disco suggested it and I wouldn't be opposed to setting it up. I also thought about maybe merging with the #girlgoons IRC channel, but I wouldn't want to scare away some of our awesome male contributors like JohnnyRnR. Thoughts? Haha, as soon as FitD told me about it, I came in here to invite you ladies to come over! The irc channel recently went through a bit of an overhaul and is getting back to it's roots as a place for all things girly, but we definitely don't exclude anyone. We have some male regulars with great contributions and everyone is welcome. I used to be a regular on Pricescope (I've posted a few times in this thread with advice from a consumer perspective) and would LOVE to shop talk with anyone looking for their rings. I am in eye candy withdrawl. Also, if anyone wants to gossip about their dresses, sparklies, flowers, etc, they all get discussed in the channel on a regular basis as several of the girls are either engaged or recently married. We'd love to have you!
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Dec 1, 2009 01:33
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Acrolos posted:So, does anyone have any experience with ordering engagement rings from Australia. It seems like all of the jewelry that my girlfriend wants is from that part of the world, but I have concerns about making a large ring purchase (sight-unseen) from such a long distance away. Pearls aren't great for rings because they're very fragile. I'd recommend reading up on it a bit and then taking the info to her to convince her to choose something that's not going to be ruined by frequent wear. That's why e-rings tend to have diamonds or sapphires as the stone because they're so high on the hardness scale.
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Dec 10, 2009 04:12
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Tindjin posted:Money We do joint with a separate savings account for my student loan payments. Because he's in school, I make more than he does at the moment. Both our paychecks go into a joint account, and we have a joint credit card. Almost everything comes out of that account. I have a separate savings account back at my Canadian bank that I slaved to put away 10k in before moving down here, so that at least my student loan payments would be guaranteed for the duration of his schooling. I occasionally make ebay purchases out of that account as it's connected to my paypal, but for the most part, everything comes out of the joint account. If either of us is planning on buying something big (i.e. over $50) we run it by the other person. We live a pretty minimal lifestyle and despite being on limited income we've got a pretty cushy running bank account balance. We've never fought about money. In the future, our positions will be reversed where he's the one making more (much, MUCH more) but I don't anticipate it being a problem. I don't resent providing the lion's share of the income now, and I don't imagine he will either- it's a logistical thing. I doubt this would work for people who have less compatible spending habits.
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Jan 3, 2010 18:40
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Woman posted:Thanks for all the replies, and I will definitely be taking your advice JohnnyRnR. The more I see people talk about how happy they are with their moissanite rings, the happier I am with choosing to get one instead of a diamond. Even though, the rings on your website are really gorgeous. I have a moissanite engagement ring, and I love it. It's in an Old European Cut as opposed to a Round Brilliant, because I love old cuts and antique settings. I wanted an antique setting and the OEC fits it better than the modern RB. I also like the big flashes of fire instead of the little pointy ones an RB cut stone has. Just an FYI that old cuts are now available in Moissanite, as well as some other specialty cuts, but there is a premium on the cut if it's not a 'standard' cut. Still way cheaper than a diamond, and without the nebulous pedigree that sends my husband into a rant if anyone mentions the d-word. 
RedFish fucked around with this message at 08:21 on Dec 13, 2011 |
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Dec 13, 2011 08:18
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