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As unromantic as it is, insurance is the biggest factor dictating when my fiance and I get married. We are both students right now and both covered by our parent's medical insurance. If we were to get married we would lose that coverage and end up having to pay for our own. Right now we can't even afford the cheapest policies, and to get one that would cover his prescriptions with a small copay would probably cost us a small fortune every month. If we went without insurance, his medication would cost us over $180 a month. We are waiting to set a date until we graduate and get grown-up jobs, which means we will end up being engaged for about two years. Some days I really resent that something so stupid is keeping us from getting married , but I just have to remind myself that I doesn't change how I feel about him, or how much I want to marry him. It is just a reality that nowadays marriage is as much about finances as it is about love.
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Apr 5, 2008 19:10
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Cassandra Complex posted:I just came across this when I was browsing A/T and I'm sooo glad! My boyfriend and I have been trying to plan ahead and we've been running into some problems. I am an art student too and my ring has a stone. When my boyfriend proposed the next day we went out and I picked out a plain sterling silver chain. I wear the chain all the time so when I am doing something with my hands I just throw it on the chain then put it back on when I'm all cleaned up. I knew I would lose it if I didn't have it on my person at all times. So far this has worked out very well.
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Aug 2, 2008 23:36
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Cassandra Complex posted:
I think it is 18 inches but I can't remember exactly. I wanted it to be long enough that when I had the ring on the chain it would be under my shirt so it could be protected even more.
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Aug 4, 2008 16:02
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I will nth everything everyone else is saying. My fiance and I are coming up in the next week on the first anniversary of our engagement. We haven't even set a date yet because our lives and finances are so unstable and we don't know how long it will take us to find steady employment after graduation next December. My dream wedding date (October 3, 2009) which falls on our five year anniversary will probably pass us by. After looking into health coverage it would cost us two hundred a month for both of us. My dad's policy will cover me for six months after I graduate. Getting married when I want to will cost us $1600 in health insurance alone. At a time when I am going to be having to come up with moving and graduation expenses it is just not a smart idea. I understand the feeling of being in a rush to get married. I wanted to marry him years ago, but now I am glad that I waited. We have fought many fights that while not fun have made our relationship stronger. We combined our finances and got on the same page about how we wanted to spend our money. To be completely honest this took a lot of time, change, and some resentment on both of our parts to iron out. I am glad now that this happened without the pressure of marriage on top of it, and we were young enough that our financial mistakes wouldn't be big enough to haunt us for a long time. Don't worry about having a long engagement or that other people won't take your love and commitment to her seriously. Marriage nowadays is sadly about love and finances so get engaged now and get married when it is the best time for your family. You also both need to be thinking about what is best for her daughter. If her dad is in the picture right now do you really want to be the reason that he is no longer a big part of her life anymore. Something like that will affect her for along time, so both of you need to think long and hard about why/if you need to move and take her away and if it is for your own selfish reasons. She may not realize it now but someday she will and you don't want to be the step-dad that she resents. She will be much better off if she has three parents in her life that she gets to see regularly and that love her.
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Feb 4, 2009 02:05
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uberwekkness posted:Gonna try again... is it weird to send out some sort of engagement announcement that isn't a save the date? We're having something very small in June, but I still want to send around a picture of the two of us to my more distant relatives. We're planning on having a larger wedding in a few years where everyone will be invited. Should something like that be mentioned on such an announcement? We did this and we sent out a wedding announcement after the wedding with a wallet sized picture of us at the ceremony for all of the relatives who didn't come. We felt like sending it out after felt more appropriate and less rubbing it in peoples faces that they weren't going to be invited. The other thing I struggled with was the wording of the later party invitations. I will have to dig them out but I had a hard time finding wording that I felt implied it was not a wedding. If you want to have a second wedding that's fine. My second thing was more of a relaxed get together/BBQ and there was no second ceremony. For some reason, it was SO hard to say that in invitation form.
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Jan 4, 2011 17:10
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