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I just got married in November, so I'm up for questions, too! Our most expensive thing was, in fact, the biggest money saver. We had our reception at a really swanky hotel (the O. Henry, for any Greensboro/Triad goons) and those folks covered just about everything. It was either $5,000 or $10,000 (I can't remember which, but it was a round number. My folks obviously footed the bill.) It covered rental space, catering, transportation for me and my groom, tables/chairs, table linens, centerpieces, our hotel room for the wedding night, and (we chose our own baker but could have opted for) cake+cake cutting. In addition, any of our guests that wanted to stay at said hotel for the wedding got discounted rates, which was EXTREMELY important for us, as 90% of our guests were from out of town. I have discovered that the catering will always get you, price-wise. Especially liquor. So my advice to would-be brides/grooms is arrange your reception so that (aside from a champagne toast or something) no alcohol will even be expected, so you won't have to serve it. Open bars jack up catering prices like you wouldn't believe. Even wine and beer alone will slap an extra couple thousand onto your bill. We had an English tea reception and it was just perfect. I also think a brunch reception would be a good idea; having your wedding early in the day makes it more casual as a plus. If the tea thing didn't work out, I was going to push for a dessert reception. If you're trying to save money, just do whatever you can to avoid a sit-down dinner sort of thing. Then you have to hire waiters, too! Even a buffet is better. My other big piece of advice is: ladies, hire someone to come to the church/wherever and do your hair and makeup. Don't fool around with running around, fighting traffic, waiting in line, trying to get to the salon in time. I also think doing it yourself or getting a friend or family member to do it for you is too stressful as well. I spent $150 on that stylist and it was about the best money I had spent on the whole freaking wedding. I was so relaxed as a result. I have hard-to-manage hair and I'm prone to acne, so having to rely on my own skills, get my mother to do my hair, and so forth would have been a stressful nightmare. Not to mention that most of my girlfriends, although any of them would have been happy to help, never show up for anything on time. None of them. My engaged friends seem to think that's too much money to spend on a stylist and blow me off, but I looked amazing on my wedding. Totally worth it. All I needed to do was show up at the church in an old button-down shirt and pajama pants and wait to be pampered. What's not to love about that?
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Feb 8, 2008 16:27
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AWSEFT posted:It's 95% of the guest list though. I'm from another state and just about all of her family has to travel to get there. I understand thanking them for coming but if I see this correctly. We would basically be throwing another reception. Are you paying for it? The rehearsal dinner is traditionally paid by the mother of the groom, so if she wants some big huge party, why not? If you are paying and can't afford to invite everyone, gently suggest that she help with the budget. You aren't expected to pay for two receptions; that's why you (or your parents) pay for one and his parents pay for the other. At least your MIL gives a crap about the rehearsal dinner; mine drug her feet or waffled on everything, the entire time. My folks ended up doing all of the invites/planning/setup/catering and sending them the bill. Kind of rude, but if it was left to the in-laws, there would have been no dinner at all, and we've gotten no complaints (that we know of). Edit: That is to say, the in-laws did indeed volunteer to organize/pay for the rehearsal, they just didn't follow through. On anything. Queen of Roses fucked around with this message at 17:08 on Feb 11, 2008 |
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Feb 11, 2008 16:59
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AWSEFT posted:I'm the groom and my parents are paying. My MIL has offered to help pay but its really not the point. My wife (to be) and I don't want to entertain two days in a row. Plus we wanted to keep the rehearsal small so the parents could first of all meet, and spend the time with each other and us, not with the WHOLE family. We see the next day as their opportunity to mingle with family. Congrats on the awesome wife! And my apologies for assuming that said awesome wife was you.  Well, I hate to say this, but it kind of doesn't matter what you two want in this case. If you're going by the books on etiquette, it would be tacky to exclude people for no good reason other than "I don't feel like entertaining them." They're coming to see YOU and your bride. You're asking that they come from out of town, likely to a place they've never been to, and the only people they know in town don't want to be with them. Sorry guy, cost is really the only good excuse I can think of for not honoring your out-of-towners, and like I said earlier, there are ways around that, too, i.e. asking for financial help. Besides, how would you get around the whole "you invited my sister but not my cousin/brother/uncle/aunt?" issue that your MIL brought up? How do you choose who is "allowed" to come and who's not? It seems like a tough call to me, and unfortunately the only real way to get around it is invite everyone, suck it up, and just see who RSVPs. It's the price you pay for having a large family. Trust me, we ran into a very similar problem with our rehearsal dinner. I didn't see the part about letting the close family mingle until now, sorry. Why don't you all go out to dinner a few weeks beforehand in a less formal setting? Or, let your bride do the ice-breaking with all of the ladies at the bridesmaid's luncheon (if you're doing one.) You guys are getting married and your parents haven't met yet? 
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Feb 11, 2008 20:32
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AWSEFT posted:I live in MN with my job (until May). Wifey lives in NC (where her parents are). My parents live in south Florida. My previous advice still stands, though. We had the rehearsal dinner=too many guests problem, too--except that it was all my family that was out of town. His family consists of his folks, his aunt+uncle+cousin, and grandma. That's all (that showed up!  ). My folks felt bad about his parents basically entertaining our family on their dime, so they split the cost of the rehearsal. Just about everyone came, and everyone had a good time. We're North Carolinians too, so to offset the fancy tea reception, we had a local barbecue joint cater. It was fabulous; the Northerners on my side of the family were so tickled that they were eating "real Southern barbecue!" and his family (country folk!) felt right at home. We had it at the "family life center" at the church (a big all purpose room) and the caterers did the setup, serving and cleanup. A good deal.
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Feb 12, 2008 16:49
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DaemonWyrm posted:My wife bought a ton of stuff (candles, a picture frame for each and more) and put them in these cloth tote bags that she had embroidered with each girl's name so that they would have something they could use (take it to the beach or something) that wasn't specifically from the wedding.
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Mar 13, 2008 15:19
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