oxsnard posted:

Buying an engagement ring: my journey

Let me get started by saying that in the Past 6 months, I've learned a SHITLOAD about buying jewelry and diamonds. I've always hated diamonds, with the usual reasons listed as the main culprits: distorted price market, cruelty, the fact that they really aren't that rare, etc.

My now-fiancee has always wanted a diamond, and although she told me earlier in our relationship that I didn't have to get her a diamond, I knew I should get one because it would make her happy.

Buying a cruelty/debeers-free diamond from Canada or non-Africa country

This is easily one of the stupidest ideas I've ever heard of. Canadian diamonds can run from %30-50 more then their African counterparts. Purchasing one also puts money into the diamond market, which is just one more little step removed from giving your directly to DeBeers. It's like people who only buy gas from American-only oil companies: it makes you feel good, but it doesn't make a lick of difference in the grand scheme of things because of the nature of global commodity markets. If you Hate Diamonds (because of DeBeers) that much, DON'T BUY ONE IN THE FIRST PLACE. Don't get me wrong: I hate DeBeers and think they're pretty evil, but once I thought about it, making my Fiancee happy for whatever silly reason she wanted a diamond was more important.

Where to buy a diamond

Unless you know a local small time jeweler whom you trust, DO NOT BUY A DIAMOND IN A STORE. It's even stupider to buy a diamond from one of the high end retailers (John Atencio, Tiffany and Co., ETC). Lots of box stores grade their diamonds in house and exaggerate cut quality in order to sell diamonds at higher prices. Stay away from companies who brag about a few things (Shane Company based in Denver is a notorious offender):

We Don't Pay our Salespeople commission

Although this may seem be true on the surface, almost every store that tells you this isn't telling you the whole story. Big Jewelry stores make money by pressuring people (directly or indirectly) into paying as much as they can. These “non-commission” stores typically give employees sales quota bonuses.

We buy our Diamonds direct so there is no middleman

Bullshit. A true free market is dead in the Diamond industry, thanks to DeBeers, since they are the primary or first seller of most diamonds in the world. Once the diamonds are out of DeBeers' hands, each diamond has a value on the secondary market. Ignoring what DeBeers does, this secondary diamond market behaves exactly like a free market. Any diamond you buy from a seller who has physical store locations will be more expensive than an internet wholseller's prices due to overhead costs. An informed consumer (which you will be soon) should know what each diamond is worth based on the 4 Cs. This brings me to my next section.

The 4 Cs and You

Whenever you read anything about diamonds, they tell you about the “4 Cs:” Carat, Clarity, Color, and Cut. Most diamond guides outright lie to you, so I will help you cut through the Bullshit. My guide is simplified version on what I've learned. http://diamonds.pricescope.com/ Gives an excellent step by step guide of learning about diamonds.

NOTE: This guide is mainly for round Diamonds, as all the fancy shapes have hosed up rules that change everything.

Carat Size



Here is a nice diagram on the size of a round diamond vs. carat weight. Carat size is completely subjective, but there are some nice guidelines to follow. Most girls are in between a 5 and 7 in ring size. A ~1 carat diamond in a solitaire will look big and fancy on these fingers. If that is out of your budget, diamonds can look great and reasonably big ON THE RIGHT SETTING as low as a 1/3 of a carat.

It's cliché and stupid, but one carat is sort of the “Gold Standard” of sizes among most social circles. Luckily, diamonds that are as small as ¾ of a carat will look about as big as a one carat (at close to 30-50 percent less in price). If you hold a one carat diamond against a ¾ carat diamond, you can tell the difference, but from a moderate viewing distance it's pretty hard to tell. I decided that I'd try to stay in that one carat range myself. That being said, buying a diamond that is exactly 1 (or .99 or .98) carat is stupid. Diamond prices jump up notably at certain key sizes (.25, .33, .5, .75, 1.0, 1.5, 2 etc). You'd be well suited to get a .90 carat diamond instead of the full 1 carat. At that size, you can't even really tell the difference when held next to a full 1 carat diamond!

Check out people's rings that they shamelessly show off at the https://www.pricescope.com forums. They usually post the diamond size as well as the ring size, so you can get a pretty good idea of how big a diamond will look on your lady's finger.

Color

White diamonds are graded from D (pure white) to Z (Dirty Yellow or Brown). Jewelers use this little machine that calculates the color based on light return. There isn't much discrepancy between appraisers when it comes to color, as there are international standards that determine the values. That being said: Color is overrated. D, E, and F diamonds are really goddamned expensive, since they are pretty rare. G, H, I, and J Diamonds all look about the same, and really seem to be the sweet spot when it comes to purchasing diamonds. They still look VERY VERY WHITE, and all other things equal, an H diamond can be 3 or more times cheaper and look identical to a D diamond.

Clarity

Diamonds are graded based on inclusions (clouds or spots) in the diamond. Jewelry grade diamonds are rated from IF( Flawless or no inclusions) to Included (Inclusions visible to the naked eye). Stay far away from either extreme, since Flawless diamonds are retardedly expensive and Included diamonds show spots with the naked eye. Once again the sweet spot here seems to lie in the middle. Inclusions, unless they are extreme, don't affect the optic performance of a diamonds. Si (small inclusions) 1 or 2 is the best way to go, since they are cheaper, and look exactly the same without 10x magnification as Flawless diamonds.

Unless your Fiancée to be has some sort of freakish bionic eye, save money by cutting back on Color and Clarity.

Cut

Cut is King. Remember that.

CUT.

IS.

KING.

When you go into 99% of jewelry shops, and ask them about Cut, they will lie to you and gently caress you over. Most jewelry stores don't assign a scaled grade to a Diamond's cut quality, so all they tell you is that you are looking at a 1.2 Carat, E, Flawless clarity, Brilliant Ideal Cut Round. But WHAT THE gently caress DOES IDEAL BRILLIANT MEAN? Ideal cut means that it is the modern round cut used for the past 50 years. All of their diamonds are so called brilliant. It's like going into a chain restaurant and everything on the menu is described as “delicious.” It's subjective and silly. But get this: THE QUALITY OF THE CUT IS THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT FACTOR IN DETERMINING HOW GOOD A DIAMOND LOOKS. Not Color, not Clarity, and not whether you bought it at Tiffany and Co. The Physical Cut Dimenstions, The Polish and the Symmetry are all that matters when it comes to diamonds. A excellently cut diamond, regardless of Color and Clarity, will sparkle, shimmer and give off that “fire” that defines a beautiful diamond.

The American Gemological Society (AGS) is an independent certifier of Diamonds. They rate diamonds based on rigorous tests to determine the Quality of Cut. AGS 0 diamonds are perfect when it comes to light performance, 1 is near perfect, 2 is still really drat good and so on. I bought an AGS1 diamond, H color, Si2 for my fiancee, and it looks a million times better than my close friends' E, IF BRILLIANT CUT diamond of the same size. It also cost me waaaaaaay less.

So, where the gently caress should I buy a diamond then?

Online, of course. I bought mine at https://www.whiteflash.com.

https://www.pricescope.com (I keep hawking this site only because it is so awesome) has a great search engine that lets you filter diamonds by tons of factors. You can search for only AGS certified diamonds (Highly Recommended). These internet sellers usually have the same return, upgrade and service policies as the big mall stores. They usually also post real pictures of the diamond in question, with AGS certifications on file, and sometimes even have light return diagrams from IdealScope.

What about a setting?

9 out of 10 girls want a solitaire setting. Unless they tell you otherwise in advance, you can't go wrong with a solitaire of some sort. Plus, if you are planning on popping the question, you really should know her tastes by then anyways. A couple of rules: lots of online jewelers make great settings, stuff from top name brands are ridiculously overpriced, and for the most part, simpler is better.

Don't be afraid to break conventions. My fiancee really liked tension settings, like the stuff at super chic designer http://www.stevenkretchmer.com. That poo poo was super expensive, so I got her a titanium tension ring at https://www.boonerings.com (he was awesome to work with btw) She's so glad I went with titanium, because it's modern looking (darker than white gold), super durable, hard, and uber lightweight. The ring itself (not including diamond) was also 2500 dollars cheaper than a Kretchmer platinum ring.

Here it is:






Ask her friends, her mom or sister. Make sure they don't ruin the surprise. If you don't know what setting she'll want, buy a diamond, have a jeweler mount it on a cheap gold or paladium setting, pop the question, and find out what setting She wants.

Research the gently caress out of diamonds before you overpay.

Propose to her in a way that she'll remember (it's worth it i swear). I told my girlfriend that were were getting photos taken (she always complains that we don't take good pictures together). I popped the question with the photographer there. Now we have keepsakes of our engagement.

Phew, If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask, or just check out some of the resources I've listed!