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How many bridesmaids is a "normal" amount? A woman on my Facebook posted pictures of her wedding from yesterday where she had EIGHT, which I thought was...a lot. EDIT: OK I understand that. From what else I've seen on her page she a touch on the narcissistic side but I think she also has a fairly sizable family/group of friends. C-Euro fucked around with this message at 22:56 on Jul 24, 2011 |
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Jul 24, 2011 21:25
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There's probably a better thread for this question, but what's the general process for an American citizen like me to get married to a non-US citizen and have her live with me here in the States? My girlfriend is an international student currently in grad school here, and with me locking down a stable job with good pay and her finishing her program by the end of the year, now seems as good a time as any to get ready for question-popping. In a perfect world I would be proposing on our anniversary this fall, but is there anything I can start reading or paperwork I can start working through in order to get a head start on it?
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Feb 2, 2014 03:54
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uraninjs posted:There's an Ask me about US immigration thread, it's relatively active. Fart, I totally glazed over that. Thanks.
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Feb 2, 2014 04:05
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Out of curiosity, how many of you ladies (or dudes getting ready to propose) have engagement rings with non-diamond stones? My girlfriend and I went looking a few weeks ago for fun (and we've been talking about getting married for a while but we both aren't quite there yet) and afterwords she told me she didn't really like diamond. She actually really liked morganite, which is a little cheap in my eyes but she insists that she wants a ring that she thinks looks good moreso than an expensive one. A good friend of mine also proposed to his gal last summer and got her a sapphire ring, because she's not down with the diamond trade. Any couples in this thread rocking non-traditional rocks?
C-Euro fucked around with this message at 21:35 on Jun 7, 2014 |
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Jun 7, 2014 19:43
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PopRocks posted:Morganite is pretty, but I'd worry I'd chip anything in the beryl / emerald family if I wore it on my hand daily. Alexandrite, another of my favorites, ranks a bit harder, but not as hard as sapphire or moissanite. But others have said that any gemstone should stand up to daily wear just fine, so I'm probably needlessly paranoid. She works in a lab so she's wearing gloves a lot of the time, but I think she's saying morganite for now because it was in the first store we went to and she just really likes pink. We'll have to pick back up with shopping after her family is done with their three-week visit (starts Friday, also during that time I have to work up the nerve to ask her dad for her hand  )
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Jun 10, 2014 19:21
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People who ordered their rings from an online/custom jeweler- how long did it take to show up? My girlfriend and I have been looking at rings a little bit and I'm weighing my options for acquiring said ring. I want to do some more looking with her to get a better idea of what she likes but I would also need the ring by the end of September, as I want to propose on our anniversary on the 30th of that month.
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Jun 18, 2014 04:37
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Dudes in the thread, did you tell your parents before proposing to your gals? I'm home this weekend and I kind of want to tell my dad that I'm giving serious thought to proposing to my girlfriend, but I feel like it might be premature since I haven't even asked her dad if it's OK.
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Jun 22, 2014 02:22
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I was asking about talking to MY parents specifically. I was definitely planning on talking to her parents before proposing, so I'm not looking for an argument one way or another on that question.
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Jun 22, 2014 06:30
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Nicol Bolas posted:With regards to asking-your-female-partner's-parents-permission, I think you really have to think about who your partner is. You are getting married to hopefully you know her well enough to know about her relationship with her parents. This is exactly what I was looking for, TBH. My girlfriend grew up in SE Asia and though her parents still live overseas she is still pretty close to them, especially her dad. But they're on the liberal end of their culture and really like me from what I can tell, so maybe a "hey I'm going to do this thing" talk with her dad (or both) is the way to go. Though they did, according to her, tell her that I need to talk to them before proposing, but she did seem imply that they were kidding around somewhat. It's just too bad they don't speak a ton of English 
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Jun 26, 2014 05:07
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Update- I told her dad that I am going to propose to her later this year, and that I love her more than anything, and he said "OK no problem!" and gave me a hug. Not sure if he 100% understood everything I said but one hurdle down!  Time to get serious about ring-shopping...
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Jul 4, 2014 16:24
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It's cool if I'm freaking out more and more as I approach my target proposal date/window, right? The setting I want for the ring is at the jeweler, and I just got a call that the stone is here too. I just have no idea how I'm going to do it. I'm also off my game because her mom said last night that if we get engaged, she wants us to do a traditional engagement ceremony this December in her home country of Thailand, which means a lot of the money I've been saving for the ring has to be re-routed into that plane ticket (got approved for a credit card with the jeweler, at least). Someone talk through what I'm feeling right now, I still want to do this but it just got a lot more real in the last 24 hours and it's a bit of a shock to the system.
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Sep 18, 2014 01:42
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Sorry, I was unclear about that- I'm proposing to her here, but then her parents also want us to do an engagement ceremony there too. Her parents both have 7+ siblings and she would be the first of her familial generation to get married, so it's a big deal. I wouldn't be paying for that ceremony other than the airfare to go. My girlfriend also agreed right off the bat to pay for half my ticket, and as far as the ring goes I have more than half of the cost of my target already saved up. The card is mostly there to cover the last few hundred I don't have, and if I keep being good with my money it should only take me a couple payments to close that one out. It's just that right now I don't know if I could comfortably afford both the ring and a plane ticket so close to each other. This is also the one time a year she can fly home, so it's either now or next year. Maybe once the ring is on her finger I can talk her into staying and doing it next year, or tell her parents "you want proof of financial security? BOOYAH" and they'll cover another part of my ticket. They like me and at this point really want grandkids so it's worth a shot?  I don't know. I have to think about, and I get anxious if I have to spend more than $100 on a given purchase so that doesn't help, and I may be better off than my nervousness makes me feel. And I can't tell her why I'm anxious about buying a plane ticket now because while she suspects I'm proposing sometime this year, I don't think she knows I'm days away from doing it. C-Euro fucked around with this message at 18:46 on Sep 18, 2014 |
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Sep 18, 2014 18:38
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I proposed to my then-girlfriend last September and we are now six months to the day away from getting married. We did some sporadic wedding planning in 2014 but have made it a daily thing to work on in the last month or so. Neither of us have been married nor have we participated in any weddings or plannings thereof, so we're trying to take stock of what we've already planned and what else we need to do. How does this sound? Done: Wedding rings Venue (for both ceremony and reception, includes furniture basics) Engagement photos Save the Date card Guest Mailing List Cake Bridesmaid/Groomsmen Nominations Her dress To Do: Mail Save the Dates Design & mail Invites Registry Officiant (currently have a lead) Wedding Photographer My tuxedo Bridesmaid/Groomsmen outfits Caterer (venue has a pre-approved list so that narrows it down for us) Music Flowers (for ceremony, or both?) Rehearsal (have a separate venue we can use) We're trying to make it fairly low-key as we need to do another ceremony in 2016 for her family overseas, so right now the guest list is just over 100 (before my parents slot in their friends) and we put a hard cap of 150 into our venue contract. In addition most of our guests live or grew up within driving distance of our venue so I don't know if we need to pay for accommodations for anyone? We're also not picky about a lot of things as a couple so we've found a few ways to save money already (my cousin has a photo studio and did our engagement photos as a present, a friend of her family is making our cake as a gift) but if there's standard wedding stuff we've forgotten to note please let me know. I tried browsing theknot.com but it kept giving un-exitable prompts to register, and goons know more anyway right?
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Feb 23, 2015 02:11
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Sparrow posted:We're keeping it super cheap ($2500 or less), fairly small (~60 guests) and doing lots of stuff by ourselves. Tell me your secrets please, my fiancee and I have a rough itemization with the most we're willing to pay for certain aspects and our cost estimate is still more than double that number. Plus my parents can't spare a ton of money and we don't know how much her parents are willing to pay since we have to do another wedding overseas for her family (for which they are allegedly paying everything, including our airfare)
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Mar 2, 2015 01:47
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kri kri posted:What is the etiquette about having a wedding ceremony/reception after being married in court? I got married last week after some life changes, but we are still having our reception this summer. I still want to have some sort of vow renewal so people in our wedding party still feel important. I don't know but post about what you end up doing. My fiancee and I are scheduled to get married at the end of this summer but the more I think about the more appealing a court marriage this year and a wedding party next year sounds, since we'll both have better jobs next year and we might have to move cross-country for her work next month (which could be filed under "money concerns" but would also make planning that much more difficult since we already live a little ways from where it's going to go down)
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Mar 8, 2015 23:35
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My fiancee is trying to tell me that we have to "block off" hotels for our out-of-town guests for our wedding. Is this something we really NEED to do? It seems like if we're not obligated to pay for hotels for our out-of-towners then we don't need to make sure they have hotel rooms. Also this isn't exactly a destination wedding and the majority of our guests are within an hour's drive anyway. Did any of you have to do this? I just don't want to spend money on anything we don't have to, and I see them wanting to charge us to reserve rooms.
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Apr 3, 2015 04:08
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Had an invite interaction today that I wasn't sure about- my fiancee and I have a mutual friend who we both worked with at different points, and who we both talk to every now and then but haven't seen since last fall. We went to have brunch with her and her husband today and she starts asking us about our wedding. We tell her it's in August and after a couple more questions my fiancee suddenly asks them if they want to come, as they didn't get invited in the first place (they said yes, the friend didn't even know when it was happening until today). I don't mind them coming, they're fun and cool but we're not terribly close to them and my fiancee and I both committed to a smaller wedding. At the same time there's a number of people on our guest list who might opt out, so it's not like taking on two more guests will wreck our budget. I asked my fiancee about it afterwords and she said she felt "awkward" talking to them about the wedding when they weren't invited and felt "pressured" into inviting them. I don't think our friend is the kind of person to force her way into an invite, nor are we close enough for her to be offended that they weren't invited in the first place. I just thought it was odd that my fiancee felt like she HAD to invite them once they started asking about the wedding. Did anything like this come up with any of you during the planning process?
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Apr 19, 2015 22:28
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Do you think we should include a stamp with each of our invitations for the response card, or do people not get bent out of shape over $0.50 of postage anymore (or at worst, paying $10 to get a new book of stamps)?
C-Euro fucked around with this message at 20:44 on Jun 19, 2015 |
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Jun 19, 2015 20:41
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:We went with weddingpaperdivas, kind of pricey but they were really nice quality and their customer service is great, especially with tweaking proofs to get them just right. We did this too, and even though we had some trouble with the interface they turned out exactly like we wanted them to, thanks to a special "designer requests" field. Just got a call from my mom that my sister was confused because her RSVP didn't say "C-Euro's Sister and Guest", even though there are two separate names for lines on the actual RSVP. It's not my fault* I haven't seen a wedding invitation since 2010, I thought it was obvious!  I can't wait to have this conversation fifty times over the next month. Also no inner/outer envelopes*it probably is E: Oh God no one knows where to send their RSVPs, despite our return address being right there on the loving envelope. My mom texted me saying "there are wedding rules on theknot.com you know", as if the FBI is going to kick down my door any day now. C-Euro fucked around with this message at 20:57 on Jun 26, 2015 |
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Jun 26, 2015 19:27
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:With WPD don't they give you the option to pre-print an address on your RSVP envelopes? There might have been honestly, but I must have missed it. Also we were trying to avoid anything that might have been an up-charge as we had just dropped 6 Gs to move into a new apartment around that time. We should be fine to pay off everything for our wedding unless everyone we invited decides to come, but seriously don't quit your job and move halfway across the country three months before you get married! And yeah, per my mom at least one person threw the envelope with our return address on it in the trash before even looking at the RSVP card, but fortunately we put a link to our wedding website on the invite itself. As soon as she told me people were calling her asking where to send stuff I went and added a section at the top of our site saying "RSVPs go to this address! E-mail me if you can't figure something out!" Just as long as my poor mother doesn't have everyone calling her asking where to send RSVPs. Though on the other hand a quarter of the guest list is her friends so she can deal with them. Also, welcome to the thread (more) gay goons 
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Jun 27, 2015 04:16
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Yeah my fiancé and I are doing a couples shower because my fiancé's family lives overseas and if it were a bridal shower she would be sitting around with my mom, a bunch of my mom's friends (that she's never met and will never see again), and maybe my sister. Honestly we don't care if we do a shower or not but my mom's friend who lives next door really wants to put one on for us, and it's also going to be our last chance to do on-site wedding planning before the big day so we're planning to do some of that as well. And if they want to shower us with gifts and free food then I say loving go for it, ladies. So yeah, see if your fiancé will go with you. Don't fly it solo if you're uncomfortable with that.
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Jul 1, 2015 20:36
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I'm getting married in Michigan in about six weeks so it's time to make sure we have all of our ducks in a row for our marriage license (which is valid for 33 days after being processed). There's one problem though, in that we live in PA and the marriage license office for the county where we live is only open Monday through Friday. PA to MI is not exactly a day trip, we're going back in a couple weeks for a wedding shower but that's a weekend ordeal, and after that I won't be back until a few days before the wedding. Any advice for doing a marriage license from out of state? It says there's a three day waiting period between applying and getting the license but that this period can be waived for "good and sufficient cause shown", I guess I could call to see if they're willing to waive that waiting period and then apply a day or two before the ceremony? I'd feel like an idiot if it fell through.
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Jul 8, 2015 14:57
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Thanks y'all, I ended up just calling the license office and they said you can just walk in and ask to have it expedited same-day. They charge a bunch for that but it will end up costing the same as doing it at our own pace in PA, go figure. Switching gears from "responsible" to "jerk", is there a diplomatic way to send an invite to someone you weren't going to invite in the first place? I have a friend who I haven't spoken to in a few years until recently but who knows I'm getting married (I think I might have even given him the impression that I was going to invite him), we were trying to keep our wedding small so I originally wasn't going to invite him, but I've had a few friends decline on us so now there's some extra space. I was thinking about sending him an invite but I'm not sure how to do it, do I take the "oh hey did you get my invite yet? No? That drat USPS, let me send you another one!" angle or go "Hey some space opened up on our guest list, do you want to come?" Also of the ten people I invited to my bachelor party (not counting my Best Man), I'm currently 1/5 on acceptances with the one being my brother (and at least one more probable "No"). Why don't I have any friends
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Jul 9, 2015 00:26
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Yeah I'm just going to drop him one tomorrow, for whatever reason my fiancee is really pushing me to invite him because we had lunch once or twice together like five years ago (the last time I saw him). Also because I got three RSVPs back from friends today and they all declined, if I don't do something my mom & dad will have more of their friends show up to my wedding than I will 
C-Euro fucked around with this message at 23:36 on Jul 9, 2015 |
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Jul 9, 2015 23:27
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Is there any written etiquette on where to hold a bachelor party? I'm trying to help plan mine and right now we're looking at doing it where I live. Another option is doing where the wedding is being held, which is a nine-hour drive or $500 round-trip plane ticket to get to. It would be easier for most of the people I invited to do it at the second location, is it more appropriate for me to go over there if I can? My vision for my party is to just go out and drink a bunch and do some dumb guy stuff like paintball, so it's kind of location-agnostic. And FWIW my fiancée is traveling for her bachelorette party but she almost decided not to have one and is just going to crash on her MOH's couch for a weekend to hang out with her and another bridesmaid.
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Jul 15, 2015 17:31
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What's an appropriate level of nagging when it comes to finding stray RSVPs? I have a couple friends who still haven't returned RSVPs to me (which are technically due tomorrow), I've messaged both and heard "oh poo poo we moved, the RSVP never got to us!" then nothing else from one, and nothing at all from the other. Obviously I'd like them both to come but at this point wouldn't be crestfallen if they declined, I just want to give them both a fair chance of responding. Last time I sent something to either of them was Sunday, maybe call/text them today to say "Hey just tell me over the phone and I'll write you down, then send an actual paper RSVP if you are coming".
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Jul 21, 2015 12:34
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:Everyone on our list got contacted once then marked as a no if they wouldn't cough up a response. If they've dragged their feet this long they're not planning on coming. If they do show up and don't have a seat/meal that's their fault. Don't waste too much time on it. I'd give it 3-4 days after your deadline for stray last minute ones to show up in the mail then start calling people. Eh, the one guy who moved between when we mailed our Save The Dates and the actual invites gets a pass, as it's technically not his fault that he hasn't replied (though you're supposed to change your address with the USPS, at least I do every time I move). No one else has an excuse though, our RSVPs are due today and nearly a third of our guest list has yet to respond, including my own brother and sister. It's not that hard people, I even stamped the return envelopes! And you know where to get at me if you have questions. Come on y'all
C-Euro fucked around with this message at 12:22 on Jul 22, 2015 |
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Jul 22, 2015 05:04
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daggerdragon posted:This is why you use your fiancée's email just for wedding stuff. You'll regret it otherwise. FTFY (the account we're using is essentially her spam account anyway) Also I'm getting married this month  I'm excited for it but I also just want it to be over, my fiancée and I have agreed that nothing is really going to change between us and we've been unable to actually save any money this calendar year, and it will be nice to do that again (until we blow it all on her green card application )
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Aug 3, 2015 20:44
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Aquatic Giraffe posted:By the time our wedding day rolled around I was so Over It that I just wanted to be done. We spent the car ride from the ceremony site to the reception site discussing what terrible things we'd do to skip the reception and just take a nap. We're both pretty introverted and not very social people so the whole wedding week of preparations and being the center of attention continually for that long was totally draining. Once the center of attention stuff was over (basically after the toast were done and the dance floor opened) it was much more enjoyable. This is definitely where my fiancee and I are heading, we're getting married one week from tomorrow and this entire week has been nothing but last-minute wedding details. I've been so busy sending e-mails during the day that I don't think I've done any of my actual job work since Tuesday. Though hopefully, if I can get everything on my checklist done by Monday we'll have taken care of everything except day-before and day-of stuff. The fact that my fiancee and I haven't tried to kill each other over something by now means, however, that she is definitely a keeper and that I am making the right call by marrying her. I'm sure we'll have fun, but a friend of mine once described pledging a fraternity as "the most fun [I] never want to have again" and that's starting to fit this wedding process more and more. The planning process has been a good bonding experience for us, and even through the stress we're both excited for the actual day, but we're most excited to get through the wedding and its immediate aftermath and go back to normal life. Aquatic Giraffe posted:When wedding planning gets too stressful think of the other weddings you've attended. Can you remember any details beyond general stuff? Probably not. Neither will your guests. Don't stress over the small stuff to make it PERFECT because no one but you will notice if something is slightly off. The thing is, neither of us have been to a wedding since 2010 so a lot of stuff has come up just because we didn't know any of it existed  But I've been told several times that wedding attendees will only remember whether or not theyA. Had fun, and B. Had good food so I'm inclined to agree.
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Aug 14, 2015 12:55
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The only thing I remember about my cousin's wedding (the last one I went to) is the bottle of Belvidere my uncle & namesake snuck into the reception  Crossing my fingers that he does the same for mine.
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Aug 14, 2015 15:55
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In my experience it depends how "out of town" they are. We sent about 120 to 130 RSVPs out, and in the end wound up with 80 guests. Pretty much everyone who declined is someone who lived out of state, and in particular the vast majority of that was people our age who are too broke and/or busy to make the trip. I think the furthest anyone* is driving for our wedding is four hours, if that helps. *Except my fiancée and I. We're driving ten
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Aug 14, 2015 16:40
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Nooooo my mom just told me it's supposed to rain all next week EXECPT for our rehearsal and wedding. I'm willing to bet it will now rain on both of those days too!
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Aug 14, 2015 19:24
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Just to play devil's advocate, in a day and age where everyone is carrying around a decently-powerful camera that can instantly send pictures to anyone else, I'm not sure if a photo booth is as useful as it once was unless you do something creative with it like Buggiezor showed. I haven't been to a wedding in several years though so I might just be out of touch. I'm not having a photo booth at my wedding (Saturday!) but the real reasons why not are 1. We are barely able to afford this wedding as-is, and 2. Our wedding guests are a bunch of olds who wouldn't get the same enjoyment out of it as if we were actually having people our age attend our wedding. I can't remember where this was, but I heard about a wedding where, in lieu of a photo booth, each table had one or two single-roll disposable cameras for people to take reception photos, and then those got handed in at the end of the night. If you can find some of those that might be a budget alternative, maybe see if you have a Halloween or costume shop to buy a few silly props as well.
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Aug 17, 2015 03:37
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Dammit, just had one of my friends bail on my wedding at the last minute Not counting my groomsmen, I now have two people from our "My Friends" category attending, and one of them was invited by mistake! Thank goodness my parents are paying for all of the "scale-up" costs, if I had to pay a bunch of money for a dozen of my mom's friends who I've never met while only one or two of my friends showed up I would have been very cross. At least old people like getting drunk and listening to dad rock, because that's what I like to do and that's probably how this reception will shake out (maybe that's why I don't have any friends, heh...)
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Aug 18, 2015 02:40
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Definitely work together and definitely rope in family if they are willing, I'm losing my mind over here just trying to confirm stuff ahead of Saturday and I can't imagine having to set it all up on my own. Also I don't think assigning tasks is a bad idea but there should be discussion about it beforehand, and not just sending someone off on their own to handle something. For example you can research something together, come to a consensus, and then one person can say "I am going to call this vendor and get them locked in". He'll know tomorrow, fingers crossed people! But he can't find a plane ticket earlier than the morning of the wedding. Solve one problem and jump right into another!
C-Euro fucked around with this message at 00:16 on Aug 19, 2015 |
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Aug 18, 2015 18:56
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Not counting drinks (we have to provide our own alcohol) our caterer is charging us about $50 per person, for 80 people in SE Michigan. This is supposedly one of the more expensive caterers in the area too.
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Aug 19, 2015 01:51
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T-minus five hours What should I do with my groomsmen and dads while the bridal side of things does their makeup and stuff? Other than two more quick phone calls I don't have anything to do until the ceremony so we're kind of just posting up at home for now.
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Aug 22, 2015 17:27
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Wedding status: accomplished! The day was pretty much perfect, the weather and location were both at their best and everything went off basically without a hitch. Most importantly I'm not sure if I've ever been happier in my life than I was during our wedding ceremony  I wasn't paying attention to anyone besides my wife but apparently my vows made about half the audience cry, including the judge officiating our wedding. And as an added bonus, just as we had hoped the one single guy in attendance (my best man) ended up going home with the one single woman in attendance (one of my wife's college friends), so our wedding even featured a random hook-up despite my complaints about most of the guests being old people Hopefully our married life will go as smoothly and beautifully as the wedding did, it was the perfect way to start things off.
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Aug 25, 2015 06:02
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Thanks y'all OssiansFolly posted:Anything day of that you went, "huh, should have thought about that before now", that you can impart to the rest of us? I don't remember anything day before or day of that was something I hadn't thought of before, but I do wish I had taken another look at the layout of our reception. On either end of the head table we had the cake table and the wedding favors/guest book/presents table on the other end. Both tables were by doors to an outdoor pavillion where there was a Cocktail hour before the dinner, so we figured people would walk in through both doors and go by the favors table and do the stuff there. Except everyone ended up coming in through the cake door because that's also where the alcohol was, so the favors table received relatively little attention as the night went on (and on top of that, the cake ended up being hauled outside at one point to cut pieces so it's not like it needed to be in too important a spot inside). Not really a big deal but also an easy fix if we had spent 30 more seconds examining things. Don't spend all your floor plan time figuring out who will sit with who, think about how people will approach the venue space too! E: Our ceremony was short and simple but we wanted it that way, we're at our best as a couple when things aren't overly dramatic. You could write your own vows if you want to add a personal touch, my wife and I wrote ours and they went over pretty well. I actually wrote mine ahead of time, scraped most of them a couple days before and sort of made new ones up off the dome during the ceremony, which had about half the audience in tears (but not my wife, my goal was to make her cry but she never cries about anything so oh well). Don't worry about it being too short though, your guests will most likely thank you for it especially if you are outside on a hot sunny day. C-Euro fucked around with this message at 20:01 on Aug 25, 2015 |
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Aug 25, 2015 19:51
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| # ¿ Apr 28, 2024 05:55 |
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My cousin originally declined her invite and then told my mom 48 hours before the wedding that she was actually going to come. "Fortunately", one of my friends and his wife had to back out on their previous acceptance the week of the wedding so my cousin just took one of their spots.
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Sep 1, 2015 03:27
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