|
chachu posted:Is there any tactful way to tell people that, instead of presents, we would rather have a donation to our fund for a down payment on a house? For our poor friends in their 20's, we created a registry at Target, but is it considered... rude, I guess, to ask for a donation from our better-off friends and family who will just end up buying us a really expensive crock pot and some towels that we don't need? I know people have qualms about giving money as a gift. Is that, like, taboo? I mean, we'll know how much money they spent anyway if they buy something off of our registry. What would be the best way to word it? It seems weird to be like "Our wedding is [date], and we're registered at Target, so BUY US SOMETHIN' OR GIVE US MONEY." There is no really tactful way to do it, and it is against etiquette rules for the two of you to actually tell anyone that you just want cash. But, you can have your parents spread the word to relatives that you would rather have money to buy a new home. Just do not put it in writing anywhere on the invitation or wedding website.
|
#
¿
Feb 13, 2008 13:44
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 06:46 |
|
|
IanCaw posted:I hate to post with another "What are your experiences?" type question, but, I'm not sure a better way to word this: I do not have personal experience with this situation (my dad actually told my boyfriend that if he didn't marry me he'd be in trouble), but I have friends who asked for the parents' permission. In both cases, the girls in the relationship were very traditional southern belles. If they hadn't asked for permission the girl would probably have been upset. Is your fiance-to-be a traditional southern girl? If not, I wouldn't think that asking her father for permission to marry her is necessary.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 7, 2008 01:11
|
|
|
aneurysm posted:
In my experience as a bridesmaid, she'll only be occupied during the actual wedding & afterwards for a few minutes for pictures. During the reception she can eat & dance with you...unless you're going to one of those awful weddings where the bride makes all her bridesmaids sit at the table with her.
|
|
#
¿
May 10, 2008 00:29
|
|
|
IdeoPhanthus posted:
At my friend's wedding, the bride & groom went to a small room to regroup for a minute while the wedding party handed out the birdseed to toss. Then the bride & groom did the whole "send off" running through the guests to the car waiting to take them to the reception. They didn't do a formal receiving line either, because everyone was going to be able to congratulate them at the reception.
|
|
#
¿
May 15, 2008 13:19
|
|
|
IdeoPhanthus posted:That sounds nice and all, but what about the formal pictures of the wedding party together? Our ceremony is outdoors at my uncle's house. We're doing the group photos before we leave for the reception (between the end of the ceremony & the start of the reception). I've been to several weddings, but they all did recieving lines, so they exited down the aisle to a spot for the congrats, and then after all the guests exited/congratulated, the wedding party went back to the altar area for their formal photos. If we're not doing a recieving line, but instead we're going directly to the formal photos, what do we do...exit down the aisle & loop back to the altar? We did the group photos of all the girls & guys separately before the ceremony. After the ceremony & before the reception we did the entire wedding party shots, which took about 15 minutes. We didn't take any photos at the altar, because the bride & groom weren't formal people. Do you really want super formal posed pictures at the alter???
|
|
#
¿
May 16, 2008 00:20
|
|
|
Venyia posted:Just a question for consideration: My best friend's father is alive, but they haven't spoken in years. She had her mother give her away, like you are considering. It was just as symbolic & touching had it been her father.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 28, 2008 02:32
|
|
|
Belldandy posted:Are wedding dresses sized differently than regular clothes or is size 10 what the models for these dresses usually are? I had always thought size 0 was the smallest and I am assuming most samples or models would be dressed in that size. It's because wedding dresses have not been *vanity sized like every other type of womens' clothing. If I remember correctly from school (go textile majors!), wedding dresses have been sized the same way for decades. It's very similar to how patterns that you buy at a sewing shop are sized, if you normally wear a 6, you're probably a 10 in pattern sizing. This is also why when shopping for vintage clothing, you will have to go up a couple of sizes. Marilyn Monroe is a great example of this, because people always talk about how she was a size 10/12. Well that's great & all, but a 10 in the 50s is like a 6 or 8 today. *Vanity sizing is an industry technique to make women feel better about themselves, by providing what is really a size 12 dress with a size 6 tag. This is part of the reason why women's sizing varies so much between brands, because some manufacturers stray from the standard more than others.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 28, 2008 23:59
|
|
|
WolfensteinBag posted:Hey everyone! My boyfriend and I just recently got engaged this past Saturday. Just wanted to say congratulations to a fellow PI goon. And stop calling him your boyfriend!!! You can now finally say "fiance".
|
|
#
¿
Jul 29, 2008 23:43
|
|
|
So we got engaged last night (finally, people were starting to wonder if after 5.5 years together it would ever happen)! And now I have to figure out how to plan a wedding. Does anyone have any recommendations for planners? Or any books to just stay away from? We'll probably have a "normal" wedding, with a non-denominational ceremony & a reception at some hotel or reception hall type of place (there are a few locations I've been eying online that I need to go see in person). I just don't know where to start.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 7, 2008 00:45
|
|
|
WolfensteinBag posted:
Thank you! We're thinking either next October or March/April of 2010 (although I really don't want to wait that long). I just really don't want to have a wedding in the middle of the summer, because being hot makes me grumpy. I have to look at what is planned out for the next year at work so that I don't have a wedding when all the stores are in the middle of resets (I'm a visual merchandiser for Bassett Furniture & there are a few months a year where it's impossible to take time off).
|
|
#
¿
Aug 7, 2008 12:35
|
|
|
The semi-annual bridal showcase in my city is this weekend. I'm dragging my fiance along so that we can hopefully get a better idea of where we want to have our ceremony & reception. Anybody have any tips for how to get through the day?
|
|
#
¿
Aug 15, 2008 23:09
|
|
|
Big Bad Voodoo Lou posted:Why can't I find her a similar, but more affordable ring and pay for it all myself? You can certainly do that. Find out what aspects of the ring design she really loves & then find a ring at a local jeweler that has those design elements. A "designer" engagement ring is no different from a "generic" ring. It just has some guy's name attached to it which ups the price significantly. For example, when we went ring shopping I was drawn to the rings with a round center stone & round channel-set side stones. It didn't matter whether it was a designer ring or not. So when he went to actually purchase a ring, he chose one that had those design elements & I couldn't be happier. quote:Isn't it usually the guy who goes out and picks out a ring to surprise the girl, and she will love it regardless (assuming he put some thought and effort into it)? Ummmm....no. If my fiance had picked out a yellow-gold ring with an oval shaped diamond, I would not love it. I would still love him, but I would find a way to exchange the ring. You have to remember that she is going to wear this ring for the rest of her life. It needs to be something that she likes looking at & that looks good on her finger.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 16, 2008 18:55
|
|
|
WolfensteinBag posted:My fiance's a goon, & therefor I can't take the risk. I haven't started shopping for dresses yet (waiting for my mom to visit in a couple of weeks) but from what I've gathered from friends, the dress that you see in the magazine that you love may look absolutely horrible on you. You really need to try on some dresses to find out what looks amazing on your body. I would be scared about buying a dress online because I wouldn't get to see the quality firsthand. In wedding dresses, little things like buttons & small detail embroidery is what makes a dress special. I wouldn't trust pictures on a website to give a full picture of what a dress looks like. But if you try on some dresses & find one you like I guess you could try & find that exact same dress online for cheaper....But like Wolfenstein, I'd hate for a salesperson to spend hours with me & not get commission off the sale.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 10, 2008 00:46
|
|
I wouldn't buy anything online without at least going out to a shop to try things on, though, things look infinitely different online than they do in person. I looked & looked online, & wound up picking something pretty different than what I pictured in my head. I don't know about buying online after you see stuff, though. I like that when I do buy my dress, I'm going to have the shop there to do alterations and help me with everything. I also like the woman that helped me, and I want her to get the commission for it (yeah, I'm crazy like that!), but you can always take the dress somewhere to be altered. It's really up to you. But I would try things on, it's the only way to know for sure, I think!
|
So, my mom & youngest brother came into town this week & we got sooo much done. We have a venue for the ceremony & reception, a date, and most importantly...a dress!!! I'm scared to post about my dress because I don't want my fiance to run across it, but we're having the ceremony & reception at a hotel here in Charlotte. They have an outdoor courtyard for the ceremony & then the reception will be setup in a permanent outdoor tent (that is heated & cooled). I looked at a bunch of different options, but this was the best one in terms of getting everything taken care of by one person. They'll do all the food, cake, linens, chair covers, all the tables & bars. And they provide us with a suite for the night. And because pictures make everything better....  Click here for the full 800x600 image.  Click here for the full 800x600 image.  Click here for the full 800x600 image.  Click here for the full 800x600 image.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 28, 2008 01:45
|
|
|
WolfensteinBag posted:Wow, the place looks really nice! I love places that are a blank slate like that, all white. You can do so much with it. I definitely want to add some additional color. The wedding that was set up yesterday didn't really seem to add anything to the room. Their centerpieces were tiny & they didn't even do the chair covers....But the hotel will provide large hurricanes & some smaller votives for each of the tables so that will help with ambiance lighting. WolfensteinBag posted:My boyfriend had to go out there for work last week, and found out that the cafe at the train station did weddings! It's awesome, because they only have a max of 100 people, but we should be around 75. I LOVE the idea of going somewhere smaller and taking advantage of our small guest count, plus the place is so unique and so different from normal banquet halls. I was starting to get kinda bummed out about resigning to the fact that we'd be stuck with a banquet wedding, so this place was like a godsend! Plus, it's super cheap and right where everyone lives. That place looks so wonderful! The smaller size will be really nice, which is actually one of the other reasons we decided on our venue. So many of those banquet halls are made to hold hundreds of people, which would just look empty with only 100 people in it.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 28, 2008 15:43
|
|
|
Tatiana posted:
Okay....the pricing on that venue is awesome. The house is gorgeous & the veranda out back is amazing as well. A party thrown there would be very intimate & classy. I think your mom has really good taste.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 21, 2008 23:58
|
|
|
LittleCat posted:If a one way flight is $1500, avoid the possible etiquette issue (and yeah, I'd be a bit peeved if I received an invitation to a distant wedding with only a few days notice) and invite them. Not many of those people are going to fork up $3000 to come. Seconding this advice. Most of those people won't be able to afford a $3000 plane trip plus hotel expenses, so they'll RSVP no. It would be extremely awful of you to only give them 2 weeks notice of your wedding. What if they can afford to come, but need to give more notice at work? Or what if they need to get their passport updated? Do you really want to start off your married life by pissing off your wife's entire family? I think not. Please be courteous and give them about 3 months notice.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 11, 2008 14:05
|
|
|
Gravitee posted:A. If you are female and engaged/married - did you pick out your ring? If not, do you like what your SO picked out for you? Would you have preferred something else? Did you discuss at all what your likes/dislikes were beforehand? I didn't pick out the exact ring he purchased, but we did go shopping together a few times. He knew what I was looking for (round diamond, channel set side stones, white gold) & chose the perfect ring for me. As far as the proposal, I was completely surprised because the day before we talked about how he didn't have the money right now to get me a ring.
|
|
#
¿
Nov 27, 2008 16:21
|
|
|
ghost story posted:I've decided that if I'm going to have a veil, it'll be a birdcage one. I've narrowed it down to one, two, and three. I think #1 is kind of over the top, #3 is a little too subtle & #2 is the perfect blend of both! And since you have a more casual dress, a birdcage veil is definitely the right way to go. You'd look kind of silly with a traditional veil & a cocktail-length dress (at least I think so).
|
|
#
¿
Dec 6, 2008 16:45
|
|
|
Lowness 72 posted:
I know The Knot is a scary place, but their local forums can be really helpful for getting venue & vendor recommendations. My NC forum even created a blog with easy access to everyone that anyone on the forum has worked with. Some of the girls can be kind of crazy, but as long as you take everything with a grain of salt, they can be really helpful.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 3, 2009 18:24
|
|
|
squirrellypoo posted:My bridesmaids finally decided on their dress design! The only parameters I gave them were that it had to be a knit dress (no way am I undergoing extensive fittings for them on top of my dress!), and they had to choose the same pattern. Luckily, both of them have similar body types so picking a pattern that suited them both was relatively easy! Very good choice on the dress! I believe 6 weeks notice is acceptable, but that only counts if your guests are local. For someone who needs to travel, you need to give more notice than that.
|
|
#
¿
Jan 30, 2009 17:53
|
|
|
Egad! posted:I hope this is alright for this thread, I'm not the one getting married, my cousin is. Your main obligations: help plan the bachelorette party & maybe help with the bridal shower. Other than that, show up on time for the rehearsal & look nice on her wedding day.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 12, 2009 13:52
|
|
|
zap actionsdower! posted:In case he does want you to go through church-related counseling and it's not for you, look into having a friend do it through the Universal Life Church. Super easy, and that's what we're doing. Be very careful with that. In some states, like mine (North Carolina), online ordainment is not recognized as valid. Some couples have had the validity of their marriage called into question by the court system because they had someone marry them who was ordained online. I'm sure in other places it's not as strict, but you need to check out your local situation.
|
|
#
¿
Feb 24, 2009 01:02
|
|
|
FidgetyRat posted:Does anyone have a suggestion for some place to buy kits of blank wedding invitations? I'm looking for something that has the invitations, envelopes, possibly place cards, etc all blank for a reasonable price.. I got my invitation kits from Target. They also have kits at Wal-Mart, office supply stores & craft stores. If you want blank card stock, here are some online resources: http://www.paper-source.com/ http://www.paperandmore.com/ http://cardsandpockets.com/
|
|
#
¿
Feb 25, 2009 00:52
|
|
|
Splat posted:Anyone have any good recommendations on invite sites? Do you mean places to order invitations from??? http://www.myjeanm.com/ http://www.weddingpaperdivas.com/
|
|
#
¿
Mar 7, 2009 02:57
|
|
|
teacherkate posted:I actually just went to a crafting thing last night with a friend and I've gotten it into my head that I want to make my invitations (and other paper product items) for my wedding. Here are the resources I got from friends. I haven't used any of them, so I can't give a personal thumbs up, but my friends did have good experiences. http://www.paper-source.com/ http://www.paperandmore.com/ http://cardsandpockets.com/ Regular craft stores like Michael's & Hobby Lobby are also good resources for DIY invitations.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 7, 2009 15:23
|
|
|
Okay, can someone give me some insight into the tuxedo vs. suit debate? Are tuxes really necessary? Will it look really strange if my fiance & his groomsmen aren't wearing identical black suits? I'm having a hard time understanding why we should pay $150 to rent a tux for a day, when we could find a decent suit that he could wear again and again for just a little bit more. If we went the suit route, obviously they would all wear the same tie. I just don't want them to be under dressed. Wedding background: late September wedding, ceremony in outdoor courtyard at 5:30 & reception immediately following at permanent tent in outdoor courtyard
|
|
#
¿
Mar 17, 2009 02:42
|
|
|
doublebubble posted:In my opinion... Ditch the ring, get eloped, and have a big fuckin party after. Um yeah, we're having a traditional wedding. Get over it. "Littlecat posted:I'd suggest they all wear the same colour suit, at least, to set them off from the other guests. That plus matching ties and matching boutonnières and I don't think you'd have a problem. Outdoor weddings don't seem to me to need to be super formal, so skipping the tuxes sounds pretty sensible. They'd all definitely be in a black suit. I just need to have him check & see if they each have their own black suit already...They should but you never know. King Skinny Pimp posted:I'm trying to find a way to get my fiance to wear a seersucker suit, but I don't think he's down for it. It'd be perfect, though, we're getting married in the pecan orchard by the family's old plantation home in Georgia. Personally, I think this would be great. If he doesn't go for seersucker, at least get him in a light colored suit. Linen would be really great too.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 17, 2009 12:55
|
|
|
Sneaky Monkey posted:wedding websites? I don't know how much flexibility it has, but googlesites lets you play around more with layouts & colors than the other pre-designed wedding sites.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 23, 2009 03:33
|
|
|
King Skinny Pimp posted:
All you need to prove residency in a new state is your lease/mortgage or utility bill. Getting married won't make that part any easier. Changing states isn't a big deal. That being said, if you want to go ahead & get the legal part over with, then do it.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 23, 2009 12:43
|
|
|
King Skinny Pimp posted:Fair enough. We're still going to do it, I'll be getting a new drivers' license and bank account anyway, I might as well just get them all with my new name to begin with, right? Sorry if I came off rude, I didn't mean it that way. I'm also quite perturbed that I have to apply for my passport with my maiden name, only to change it once we get back & I get the name change process completed.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 24, 2009 00:12
|
|
|
amethystbliss posted:I'm fairly sure you don't have to pay anything to change your name on your passport if you're just now getting one. Since I applied for my passport a few years ago, I think I have to pay the full $75 Yeah, thanks for the information  I can't imagine paying for a kit to change your name. From what friends have told me, it's not complicated. It just takes some time to get everything switched over. I too heard Social Security first & then DMV. After that, everything should be pretty straight forward.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 24, 2009 01:56
|
|
.
|
krazynuts posted:My best friend and I are both serious with identical twins, so sometimes when the two of us are together we half-jokingly talk about "when" we will marry them. We got into a little bit of a discusssion about their younger sister who isn't close with either of the twins and has really never been more than just polite to my friend and I. My friend thinks its customary for her to invite the sister to be a bridesmaid (even though she's only going to have a few bridesmaids). I think that's not necessary since neither one of us has ever been vaguely close with her, and I think there might be another role she would play in the wedding. What would be appropriate? Or do you think she should be a bridesmaid? I didn't ask my fiance's sister to be a bridesmaid. We get along fine, but I'd never think to hang out with her outside of family dinners/parties. She might end up being one of the groomsmen (groomswoman?) because our numbers are uneven at this point. Another good option is to have her do a reading at the ceremony. Oh, and on the name thing, I am taking my fiance's last name. I plan to make my maiden name into my middle name, as I've never really liked my middle name anyway. My fiance's name is really long, hard to spell & pronounce (if you're looking at it written down). Hyphenating it with my name, which I always have to emphasize has only one 'L', would just make my life a living hell. GoreJess fucked around with this message at 00:05 on Mar 25, 2009 |
|
#
¿
Mar 25, 2009 00:02
|
|
|
Logical Llama posted:Going to reach out in here in regards to the guest list; is it still lovely etiquette if you allow single guests to take along +1 guest and have married couples/families not allowed to have an tag along guest? I'm confused by your question. Are you asking if a couple should be allowed to bring along an extra guest (like a 3rd person)? If so, I can't imagine anyone would do that and it's definitely not something that you should let happen. If you're part of a couple, you don't bring random friends to weddings....
|
|
#
¿
Mar 26, 2009 12:54
|
|
|
Nione posted:Budget The only thing I don't see in your budget is invitations. You'll need to send something out to your family & friends. Especially if you have older relatives, you can't rely on the internet to get out the word. And about the registry, don't feel bad, it's totally normal. I don't even know why I want a red KitchenAid stand mixer, but I do, I really really do.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 7, 2009 18:11
|
|
|
Congratulations Maso!!! I didn't buy my dress online, but I do have some suggestions as far as dress buying goes... 1. Even if you do purchase your dress online, go try on some dresses in a bridal shop beforehand. It's a fun, once in a lifetime experience, and you get to see which styles look the best on your body. You may discover that ballgowns aren't that great on your frame & a-line dresses look awesome. 2. Get someone to measure you who has some experience. Many dress shops will take measurements for you, especially if you're in there trying on things anyways. 3. A lace-up back will definitely give you more wiggle room as far as fit, but it'll only tighten up so much. You will still need alterations once you get your dress to make it fit perfectly. A good seamstress will be able to reduce your dress by a size or two if you lose more weight. Happy planning! Definitely get some pictures taken with the pups since they can't participate in the ceremony. I'm in the process of figuring out a way to attach the rings to Cambria so she can play flower dog & ring bearer.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 13, 2009 18:41
|
|
|
maso posted:Just found this and thought of you, Wow. I can only imagine how well that would go over. I'm picturing a scene where she stops halfway down the aisle & starts rolling all over the ground. maso posted:Thanks. Yeah, that is a pretty huge weight difference. I didn't see what kind of lead times that website had, but most dress shops have a 4-6 month wait if you special order a dress. I wish I could be of more help, but I didn't have to worry about weight loss since I've been about the same since I got out of college. I did find a really pretty collar on etsy for only $10!! I think I could easily make some sort of pouch that would slide onto the collar & safely hold the rings. Of course, I'm also planning to somehow attach a flower to her collar....She has a lot of duties. GoreJess fucked around with this message at 23:39 on Apr 13, 2009 |
|
#
¿
Apr 13, 2009 23:36
|
|
|
maso posted:So I guess right now I'm thinking order the dress like a month before the wedding, and have someone take it in a smidge if I need it. Taking in just a bit around the waist or whatever shouldn't take but like a day or two, right? Or am I being totally clueless about this? If you can wait until a month before the wedding, you may not need to worry about alterations with a corset back gown. The only thing that may need to be altered is the hem, but it looks like this site takes care of that for you as well. From a personal experience standpoint, my dress has a corset back & the only alterations I need are hemming & bustling. The corset allows you to adjust the gown if your waist line/boobs expand or contract a little.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 14, 2009 12:48
|
|
|
maso posted:Any creative but relatively inexpensive ideas for wedding favors? I'd really rather not do the jordan almonds in tulle thing... Favors are the one thing I can't seem to make a decision on. I think I'm starting to lean towards 2 Lindt truffles in a cute box. I like the dark chocolate & fiance likes the white chocolate, so we'd put one of both in the box. I just don't want to spend money on some trinket with our names on it that no one will ever use. For example, I now have a sand dollar with our friends' names & wedding date on it. What am I supposed to do with that??? Anything edible is usually a good choice. The big trend right now is doing a candy buffet, which could be a lot of fun.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 14, 2009 23:29
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 06:46 |
|
|
On the gift registry front....Most people (at least people I know) register at a couple of places. This makes it easier for your guests to find a place convenient to them. Target has a wide variety, but their product lineup changes so often that you have to really watch your registry to make sure the things you want haven't disappeared from the store. Macy's or any other department store are great choices. Grandparents & older relatives really like shopping at department stores for some reason & they have a huge selection of home goods. Crate & Barrel...I had a fantastic time putting together my registry there. I don't know how much I'll actually get from it, but at least I can get 10% off anything I really really want after the wedding.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 22, 2009 00:08
|
|