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kimihia posted:Why should I go into crazy debt so you can get pissed on my dime? How lucky of your friends and family to get to spend money on travel (gas prices, plane tickets, possible hotel room) and buy you a nice wedding present all for the mere joy of seeing you get married. It's really great that while you're special enough for them to do all that, they are only special enough for you to pay for a $7 - $10 for a drink. I bet your wedding present cost a lot more than that. There are some pretty sweet wedding packages out there, especially during the off season. My best friend recently got married for $44 a person - 5 hour premium open bar, Hors d'oeuvres, soup/salad, sit down dinner with choice of 3 entrees, ice cream with the cake and coffee bar. It would have been even cheaper if they'd gone for the buffet. Other places wanted to charge her $60 per person just for the entree, but there are definitely packages and deals out there to be had. Great deal considering just ordering the filet and one glass of wine at a nice restaurant can put you up to $44. Getting married on an off day also really helps. A lot of places have discounts if you get married on Friday or Sunday instead of the usual Saturday. squirrelly poo posted:Do people get pissed off with the registry services that let you split up big projects, like "you've just bought us 5 sq feet of a bathroom"? Or likewise, the honeymoon splitting registry stuff? I don't think they get pissed off but it seems like people are still hesitant to sign on to them - I think because the idea is relatively new to them. My friends did a registry for people to pay for a portion of their honeymoon and nobody out of their 200+ guests went for that choice. They all stuck with giving them appliances and stuff. KarmaCandy fucked around with this message at 02:12 on Jul 10, 2008 |
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Jul 10, 2008 00:22
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Wench posted:Strictly speaking, alcohol and music/dancing are not required elements of a wedding reception. Some form of food generally is, but that can be anything from cake and punch to a full-out sit down meal in the evening for five hundred served by white-gloved waiters - or anything in between. I don't think alcohol is necessary but I do think that people end up inviting too many people that they don't care about and that number limits their wedding. I would much rather have an amazing wedding and reception and get good and wasted with my now husband and our friends and family in celebration then have a few slices of cake with 500 people, half of whom I don't know, to save on costs. If you're not willing to spend a certain amount to feed a person then I think you have to ask yourself if they really need to be at your wedding. Too many people get pushed into inviting people they don't care about when they could do so much more with people that they do care about. I think a DJ and limited bar is fine - often times, not enough people actually drink liquor to make it worthwhile, and nowadays, they often let you have one or two "specialty liquor drinks" on the menu without actually paying for a full liquor open bar - that's fine, but to give a voucher for one drink seems extremely cheap to me, or to have an open bar of a "couple hundred" - yes, maybe if you only have 25 - 50 guests, a couple hundred is okay, but if you have over a hundred, a couple hundred won't even allow most people one drink.
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Jul 10, 2008 06:07
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Get Down Come Up posted:Then it came to the invitation. Daaaamn those things are expensive! Personally I think this all looks pretty tacky - why use the words like "sucks" and stuff on your wedding invitations? And a good portion of people probably threw away the DVD without even looking at it so you probably could have cut down costs even more. It looks like a bad CD cover, but if it's your thing, cool. Also... is your love really supposed to represented by Hurley and Libby because she um dies... before they even really get to go out on a date. KarmaCandy fucked around with this message at 18:15 on Jul 14, 2008 |
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Jul 14, 2008 18:11
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Optimus_Rhyme posted:You want to make a classic invitation that's fine but there's no reason to poo poo all over someone else's invite because it doesn't look good to you. If they don't want any comments on it then they should keep it among friends and not post it on the internet. They wanted to show it as an alternative cheap option to invites and people have the right to express their opinion on it. People have said good things about it as well as bad. To me, it looks cheap and tacky and even if you use swear words in your everyday language, it doesn't mean it has to be on your wedding invitation. The black looks too dark for a wedding invitation to me, combined with the moon makes it sort of look like a Halloween party which doesn't really seem to vibe with the pool party mentality that they're going for. I'm glad their family liked it and it's perfect for them but if you're putting it up on a site as a suggestion for other people to use then there's no reason those people can't comment on it and give input to other people considering using their ideas. I think using words like "suck" and "crap" in your wedding invite is not a good one and I'm sticking to that. KarmaCandy fucked around with this message at 21:41 on Jul 14, 2008 |
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Jul 14, 2008 21:38
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kimihia posted:
I didn't miss it, I said it was cheap. If you want to give out suggestions then expect them to be commented on.
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Jul 16, 2008 06:31
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ElanoreMcMantis posted:I'm kind of a snob, so one would think this would offend me, and to be honest, it didn't matter even the littlest bit. The bartender said "After dinner drinks are a mix of b/w/s and cash liquor" and I said "Sure, how much do I owe you for a gin?" (It was $5.00) By the time I even realized it I was back at my table enjoying myself. I didn't say you had to have a 100% open bar but the person who was giving suggestions went straight from 100% open bar to one drink voucher for guests + unlimited for special people or a tab of a "couple hundred" plus cash bar or pure cash bar. I was merely saying that was going very cheap and there are a lot of choices in between. Maybe she only has ten people at her wedding or people don't drink in her family, but if so, that's very specific to her wedding and isn't necessarily applicable advice for others and she was quoting someone else and seemed to be replying to them. A general cash bar of "a couple hundred" where people are paying for beer, wine and soda as well as liquor is pretty noticeable for most people. You would get up there expecting to get a drink but if you waited too long and didn't head straight for the bar - you wouldn't get anything. With drink vouchers, I think just giving a person one is very cheap. If they're a beer drinker they only get one beer to last them throughout the reception before they have to break out their own money. Most people are happy to pay for liquor at a limited cash bar where they have the option of wine and beer - at least then they know they can get drunk off your tab, they just don't want to. Similarly, most people are fine with a very limited selection of alcohol/beer/wine behind the bar or only having available signature drinks. There's just no reason to go from 100% open bar to pure cash bar or "one drink voucher for guests, but unlimited for the bridal party" or "cash bar with a couple hundred put in." There are so many classier options in between to consider as well.
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Jul 16, 2008 16:21
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Optimus_Rhyme posted:Is the open bar thing as much of a racket as I think it is? I mean, it looks like you're paying $40 a head for booze. At 100 guests that's $4000. I seriously doubt it's even possible to go through $4k worth in booze at a bar. Is there a way to just open a tab and pay that tab at the end of the night instead of paying upfront? If you look for deals and shop around and are open to a variety of reception places, it won't be that much. As I mentioned, my friend paid less than $50 per person for 4 hours of open bar (including premium liquor but not whatever their luxury option was) appetizers brought around by a butler, a choice of three a sit down meal with a choice of three entrees (including filet) and sides, ice cream (they had to supply their own cake), and coffee. Didn't include the flat fee for the bar tender which was another couple of hundred but they would have had to pay that regardless of whether it was open or cash bar. They did see a lot of packages that were in the $70 range per person for the whole entire thing though, but at a lot of places, the difference b/t non open bar and open bar is just $10 - $20 dollars per person.
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Jul 17, 2008 16:47
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How many people did you guys a lot to your parents come invitation time (and how many people were invited total)? My father is pretty insistent that people I've never met before must be on the guest list and at some point, I really want to put my foot down. He already comes from a big family (8 brothers and sisters) so his side of the family alone accounts for 40-some people, even without inviting some of the cousins that I don't know very well and not counting small children. He points out that he's going to be paying for it so he should get to invite whoever he wants but I don't want a big wedding so even if he's willing to pay for those extra 50 people - I don't particularly want 50 extra strangers at my wedding who I'll be forced to mingle with for at least a little while and who will take time away from actually celebrating with my actual friends and family. Also my parents are divorced so my mom, dad and my step-mom all have strangers they think should be on this list though my dad is most insistent. So, how many random people did you let your parents invite?
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Jul 23, 2008 15:05
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Eris posted:If he is paying for it, then its his party that he is throwing for you. If you don't like the way he throws a party, pay for your own. Yeah, I guess I might end up having to do that - I know my mom would happily chip in without taking over the wedding so I may lean on her for help over my dad, and just tell my dad that I'm not interested though I have a feeling his feelings will be hurt. If I'm paying for it entirely, I'll end up keeping it to people I actually know - right now, the list includes a ton of people I've met once or twice, and now it's going to be supplemented with the list of people I've never met before in my life. We could easily cut the wedding down and costs by just keeping it to friends/family if that's the only option. I was hoping more people had experience with compromise though - retaining my wishes for a small wedding (and not even that small, we're still talking over a 100 people) while compromising with the parents on how many people they get to invite and what's generally an appropriate amount of complete strangers to have at your wedding (not counting people you don't know on the grooms side). So if anyone has any experience with working with parents who are more about having it be their day then your day - I'd love to hear how it worked out for you. If paying for it myself or with only my mom's help is how it has to go then that's fine, but I actually don't think my dad would take that very well and I'd rather work out a compromise - I'm just trying to gauge what a normal number of complete strangers on the invite list is (for people that had their parents paying for it). The other option is to end up doing a destination wedding since strangers tend not to be willing to travel very far - then nobody's feelings really get hurt and it stays small. KarmaCandy fucked around with this message at 16:10 on Jul 23, 2008 |
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Jul 23, 2008 15:52
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Endor posted:You keep referring to them as complete strangers, yet they are actually part of your extended family. No, I'm talking aside from the extended family - the extended family is already on the list and accounts for about 35 people. All my aunts and uncles will be there + most of my cousins (we have so many cousins that the older cousins established a built in rule that older cousins invite the older generation and younger cousins invite the younger generation so family is not at all a problem). There's also lots of people on his list who I've met once or twice - which is fine, at least I've met them. But there's a whole separate list of people he wants to invite that includes all of the co-workers he works with and I guess there are people who are family friends but because I lived with my mom and not him, they're more friends with my step-family and my dad, and I've never met them before. They are actually complete strangers and I know my dad well enough to know that I won't get away with just stopping by the table and thanking them - every opportunity is a networking opportunity in his eyes. And nobody's been invited yet - nobody but my dad has put any thought into it at all yet, we just know that his lists alone account for pretty much what we imagined would be the entire wedding. KarmaCandy fucked around with this message at 17:00 on Jul 23, 2008 |
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Jul 23, 2008 16:52
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zman8 posted:I am not trying to sell the farm. I was under the impression that there is still the "3 month's salary standard." Is that no longer true? It may cost some people 3 months salary to afford a nice ring but if your salary is high enough to afford a nice ring without spending 2 or 3 months salary, there's no requirement that you have to go all out and get her something super extravagant that she probably won't even like just to meet that standard. Your current budget could easily allow you to buy some 1 karat diamond rings at Tiffany, which most people would agree is a pretty overpriced store so if your girlfriend is not all about a ring coming in a little turqoise box and she doesn't want anything extravagantly large, you can easily not spend anywhere near the amount you have in mind and still get a really really nice ring.
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Dec 2, 2008 03:54
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LittleCat posted:Our venue is looking like it could get pricey for booze, so we're thinking of have two bottles of wine served to each table at dinner, and putting a $1500 cap on the bar. After that point, it'd revert to a cash bar. I'd love to ensure that none of our guests have to pay for anything, but there are several young men who will almost definitely drink heavily, and we can't afford to get into a situation where we'll get screwed on the bar bill. I don't know. What do you guys think? Tacky? How many people are coming to your wedding? How long is the reception? If you have 100+ people, its a long reception and you know a lot of them are drinkers, that's like a $15 bar tab per person or less which isn't really all too much, especially if its overpriced alcohol to begin with. Keep in mind that if you think a few young men are going to go crazy, they may go crazy anyway, just at the expense of everyone else - downing their drinks quickly (especially if you have liquor), having quite a few, while some of your guests who are enjoying themselves and not paying attention to the alcohol quite so much may have to open up their wallets after their first round. I would probably go open bar for beer/wine, cash bar for hard alcohol, personally or maybe have a signature cocktail or two until you "run out" (hit the limit) but keep the beer/wine flowing. Often times, it's alcohol that keeps the event festive and keeps people (especially the young men) on the dance floor.
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Mar 3, 2009 02:24
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LittleCat posted:I'm pretty much at wits end trying to figure out what to do, and it doesn't help that his folks just keep telling us we shouldn't have to pay for anything so we should just have a dry wedding. Okay... this is going to sound even tackier, but I'm actually kind of serious: Are the guys who are likely to be the heavy drinkers also your groomsmen? If so, have the groom give them flasks as a present and fill the flasks with the liquor of their choice. If they're not groomsmen but are good friends, maybe little airplane bottles can be passed out as gifts at the bachelor/bachelorette party. I know that my good friends would understand and be more than happy to help out. It's totally tacky but I'd rather be tacky with my good friends than random strangers and extended family (weird, I know). And obviously, you could explain that these are emergency "Get wasted" reserves and that everyone is welcome to the bar if they're just planning on having a couple. Sunday evening makes the cap a little easier, I think, because you'll probably have a lot of non-drinkers who don't want to be hungover the next day and the wine will probably be plenty for a lot of them.
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Mar 3, 2009 05:17
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Braki posted:I haven't really come up with a solution for that, though. I figure I'll get there when I get there. If you really are plannning a small and intimate wedding with just your close friends and family, you can always just let them know ahead of time before you send the invites out so it's not unexpected. A good friend of mine got married and wanted to keep it small, without anyone's random significant others. He just sent out an email to all of us asking if we would mind. I think one person suggested that their girlfriend would be hurt so he made an exception but the rest of us didn't mind at all and didn't even think about it. Things mostly become more problematic when you have a large number of people with a lot of random people coming who don't even know you that well in the first place and therefore don't actually really care that much about your big day. Your actual close friends and family will pretty much always understand and want to help you have the wedding of your dreams. Or at least mine would.
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Mar 26, 2009 03:10
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Logical Llama posted:Hm, not exactly. Here's a better explanation, Looks right to me though if the "Family friends with family invited" includes a single mother or father or an adult child, they should probably be allowed to bring a date too. I mean, it's all about how you address the invite really. For example, lots of people might group long-term couples, not living together the same as single invited guests and just address the invite to the person they know best and allow them a +1 vs. naming both names on the invite. I have a large family and god knows, I never really know what the relationship status of my cousins are unless they're married. If you're closer to one member of the couple, sometimes this also makes sense just in case they break up before the wedding so they can mark +1 but then bring whoever vs. you specifically putting their significant other's name on the invite. If you're putting two names on the invite card, you're essentially just giving a name to their "+1" vs. leaving it anonymous.
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Mar 26, 2009 21:39
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zap actionsdower! posted:If it was the reception, fine. But she said specifically that they will probably only come to the ceremony. That's really annoying. I'd say pick your battles - is it really that burdensome that she come to the ceremony if you're not filling the venue? I guess it depends on what your ceremony is like but most of the weddings I've been to, there has really not been a lot of mingling or interaction between the bride and groom and the guests - the guests are just spectators and you, as the bride are interacting with the groom only really. She could probably have just brought her sister vs. asking you ahead of time and you'd never know because you'll be so caught up in your moment. I would think them wanting to go to the reception would be more problematic and burdensome depending on the food and alcohol situation going on. Plus then you might actually have to make small talk with her. But if she's just going to watch you get married for whatever reason, you probably won't even know she's there and you'll probably never really interact with her.
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Mar 27, 2009 23:08
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Sneaky Monkey posted:Are any of these options not okay for a wedding? I don't know what other kinds of foods we could go with, and none of the weddings we've been to have done outdoor food serving. It's your wedding, you can do whatever you want. If you're only serving hors d'oeurves then you should probably make that clear on your invitation so people know to eat beforehand. Most people expect to eat something substantial at a wedding so they usually don't fill up and will probably be hungry if you don't make it clear ahead of time. I've been to a few and in addition to hors d'oeurves, combinations of these things seem to go over pretty well: - seafood oriented menus(shrimp cocktail, oyster bar, lobster, sushi rolls) - lots of people are allergic to shellfish and don't like seafood though so make sure to have some other options as well - barbecue themed food - fresh seasonal vegetables like asparagus - cold buffets with carving stations of various types of meat, salads, cold pasta dishes
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Apr 12, 2009 22:13
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GoreJess posted:On the gift registry front....Most people (at least people I know) register at a couple of places. This makes it easier for your guests to find a place convenient to them. Yep, most people I know do this as well. Williams Sonoma does the 10% off things leftover on your registry (and also things not on your registry). It can be pricier but not always (their KitchenAid Stand Mixer is the same price as Target for example) but if there's anything you've been eyeing from there, might as well sign up along with other less expensive stores, and then take your ten percent discount even if no one chooses to buy things from there. They also have a Registry guide with cookware comparisons and stuff so you can use what you learn from signing up on your other registries and they'll keep track of everything for you to make thank you cards easy if anyone does decide to buy anything from there. KarmaCandy fucked around with this message at 01:08 on Apr 22, 2009 |
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Apr 22, 2009 01:05
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FidgetyRat posted:Any secret get-aways that others have enjoyed in the past I could look into? Pretty much all the islands in the Caribean would work if you guys are just looking for an all-inclusive beach resort. They all have them. Bermuda and the Bahamas are only like 2 - 2.5 hours away from the east coast if you get a direct flight and they usually have pretty good deals. I stayed in the Breezes all inclusive in the Bahamas and it was pretty terrible so don't stay there(though I tend to think all inclusives usually do kind of suck). Jamaica is kind of a shithole and a bit seedier than other islands but they have a ton - like 30+ - of all inclusive (and couples only - like Hedonism, Couples Resort, etc) resorts where you'll be barracaded in your resort and nothing can get to you. The Dominican Republic also has an over abundance of all inclusives. I really like St. Lucia personally, but pretty much anyplace where there's a Sandals resort would probably work for you. There aren't really all inclusive resorts in Hawaii, suprisingly. I stayed at the Hyatt Regency in Maui and loved it. They were (and still are) offering the 3rd night free (for certain rooms) and complimentary breakfast each morning. The breakfast is really good and is super expensive so getting that for free was a nice bonus. It was an expensive vacation (but totally worth it).
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Apr 28, 2009 18:28
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Sizzlechest posted:It must be a really liberal parish of they're marrying you without converting. Most Catholic churches don't require you to convert. For a Catholic to marry a non-Catholic Christian, you usually just have to seek permission to enter into a mixed marriage. Since he was born Baptist and probably at least baptized as a Christian, they shouldn't give him too many problems.
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Jun 5, 2009 17:40
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Kiri koli posted:So, from a guest point of view, if you attended a wedding where the ceremony and reception are at the same location, how big of a time gap is reasonable? Half an hour, an hour? The guests are allowed into the building (ceremony is outside) early if we choose to go that way, but the open bar and food will begin with cocktail hour. Anytime I've gone to a wedding like this, the open bar and appetizers have started right away and the bride/groom just miss a little bit of it. I would not have people waiting around for an hour outside with nothing for them to do. My friend did her wedding photos right out where the reception was (because it was on a lake), which was nice because we all got to watch the photos being done and got to zoom in and take some candids of our own of the more formal shots... plus we had the food and open bar to enjoy. I'd just have cocktail hour begin when the ceremony ends so they have stuff to do. Kiri koli posted:Also, does anyone have any good ideas for a replacement to the part where the bride and groom walk out and everyone blows those obnoxious bubbles? I won't have a walk-out or a limo or anything, but I'm trying to think of something fun. We were considering handing out sparklers for people to wave around at the recessional, but something will probably get set on fire. I think the more traditional alternative is for you to get some rice thrown at you. You could do rose petals (or any kind of flower petals that match your color combo). Confetti, sparklers, also work. I wouldn't go the dove/butterfly route. Kiri koli posted:Also, I'd prefer to get on with it, as far as dinner goes. I always feel like I'm waiting for the food during cocktail hour even if there are apps and then by the time cake-cutting and toasting is going on, I'm too hungry to pay attention. I'm the opposite, normally I think wedding appetizers are pretty good and the actual meal is just so-so, plus I need something to tide me over through all the toasting and stuff, like you said - if I hadn't eaten anything at all, I'd be even hungrier. I just went to a wedding that was just open bar for cocktail hour and no food with it and you could tell people were a bit hungry and getting drunker than they should be (due to there be nothing else to do but drink + the no food in the stomach). We were all dying for the food to get there when dinner started. But if you're not into cocktail hour then just use that time to take your photos, and then leave a little bit of time for some mingling/thanking people. FidgetyRat posted:Attempting to apply for our marriage license requires both of us to be at the registrar with a witness between 8:30 and 16:30 M-F just to apply. Long lunch? KarmaCandy fucked around with this message at 14:03 on Jul 2, 2009 |
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Jul 2, 2009 13:58
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Kiri koli posted:I've always wondered about favors because when I talk to the adults of my parents' generation they all say that it wasn't really done in their time. From that, I just kind of assumed that favors were invented by the wedding industry as another way to get money. Does anyone know when it became popular? I've never been to a wedding with favors, I didn't even realize it was a common thing until this thread and never really noticed they were missing. I thought it was just for people with an unlimited budget. I thought maybe I'd missed them since I wasn't really looking but I just went to another wedding a week ago and there were still no favors. I don't think it's a big deal, nobody left upset (welll... except the fire alarm went off in the middle of the reception and that upset some people). I was much more bothered by the lack off appetizers during the long cocktail hour than a lack of favors.
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Jul 6, 2009 17:26
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Abbeh posted:but honestly, just how many people can you invite? A lot. That last wedding I just went to (where there were no favors), we had no idea who either the bride or groom were - we'd never met them. The bride's dad is a coworker of my boyfriend and a serious one at that (partner to first year associate) so he was scared to turn it down. The father's whole entire department at his law firm was there. It's a small department with only like 10 people there, but then they all bring spouses so that's 20 people. And we don't even know the people getting married! I'm really trying to avoid that for myself, but my Dad unfortunately has other plans.
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Jul 7, 2009 06:42
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lord1234 posted:its not about punishing the brother. I feel it would be much more difficult for the brother to sit through a 7+hour event then it would be for him to stay at home with the PCA. You probably should have made it either an entirely child and baby-free event or provided a child care area for children/babies for people who wanted to attend the wedding/reception - that way the children and babies could all stay out of the way during the ceremony and your fiancee's family wouldn't have felt singled out. This will piss more people off but would hopefully not be as insulting to a major member of your soon to be family. Eris posted:You are a psycho. An incredibly insecure psycho. A good portion of people today don't like the idea of paying for a wedding and then having a baby or child scream through their entire vows. As you mentioned - they paid for it, it's their special occassion/party and no one else's - they therefore get to set the terms of the day just like hosts of any other party. This is not a crazy concept and is why "adult only weddings" and pre-arranged child care are becoming more common. They want to avoid having anything go terribly wrong on their wedding day. There's nothing psycho about it, they just didn't handle it very well. KarmaCandy fucked around with this message at 16:00 on Jul 20, 2009 |
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Jul 20, 2009 15:51
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Fire In The Disco posted:By the way, as it turned out, no kids screamed during the ceremony. You got lucky. It's not so much kids, obviously, as babies. The last wedding I went to, there were two crying babies, one who literally shreiked through half of it. I couldn't hear the vows at all as a watcher who was sitting right in front of the baby. And neither of the parents were polite enough to leave the ceremony, at most they just got out of their seats and stood in the back of the church (but still within the room) pacing with their crying babies. I know there was one couple there who had one parent sit right outside the ceremony the whole time with the baby because the baby might cry - thought that was very polite but nobody else seemed to take his cue. It was pretty annoying to be seated in front of them - we're talking about a pretty long Catholic ceremony here. They paid someone to videotape the wedding too so I hope the screaming babies didn't end up drowning out the vows on that too. Then at the reception, the couple who stayed outside the whole time with their baby really apparently wanted to dance all night once they got to the reception - not babysit. My boyfriend and I are not big dancers so we got wrangled into watching the baby the whole night (the couple with the baby is also a partner at my boyfriend's law firm and he's just an associate so we didn't feel comfortable saying no). We had to take turns going to the bathroom, getting drinks, etc. The baby was fine, slept the whole time but we wanted to be free to mingle with the other guests, dance if we wanted to, take a seat at the bar, whatever. It's not so much the kids/babies that are the problem - it's the parents who don't deal with them appropriately.
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Jul 26, 2009 00:09
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maso posted:Have any of you ever needed to un-invite someone from your wedding? I'm really having trouble deciding what to do here about a certain situation and I'm not sure how bad it has to be before you can justify un-inviting someone. I've never uninvited someone to a wedding, but I have been uninvited before. I took it well - my friend told me, I didn't hold it against him, even though I really wanted to see him get married as he is one of my best friends. I knew his fiance didn't want me there and that it would put a damper on her day and I didn't want that for either of them. Even though I don't like her at all, I'm not mean spirited. In this case, I was just a friend though. I could see it causing more waves if you're uninviting a family member that most of the family likes and would stand behind. Also realize it will hurt the relationship of whoever you uninvite, unless it's a one sided uninvite and you just paint your fiance as the bad guy.
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Jul 29, 2009 21:04
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ixo posted:Does anyone have any experience with honeymoon registries? I like the idea because we really don't need much in the way of household items, and it seems much better than just asking for cash. I dislike the idea because from what I've seen, the sites out there (like honeymoonwishes.com) pretty much just take in the money, then give it back to you after charging 7-10%. My friend did this recently, and not one person signed on to it (they had other household items to choose from). It seems that the people who really care about getting a gift off the registry were also more traditional and preferred to give more traditional household gifts, and the people who were going to give cash still just defaulted to cash because it's easier.
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Sep 10, 2009 18:31
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Does anyone here have experience with pre-nups or have at least talked about the subject/idea of one with their significant other? I feel like this is a tough subject to broach without it automatically coming off as insulting or sending out some sort of signal that you think the marriage will fail.
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Nov 24, 2009 16:59
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CubsWoo posted:So overall I'm not sure what to do. We'll have more than enough saved up to pay our own way to a small Orlando/Disney honeymoon if the idea falls through, but we'd really like to go somewhere more exotic. Have any other couples used these registries, and how did you get your families to go along with it? Do you have a wedding website (with wedding info, "your story," etc.) that you could attach the honeymoon registry site link to? Then it wouldn't matter if your mom didn't want to share the registry with her family. I don't think it's tacky to have a honeymoon registry but if you're having a big wedding, I do think it's kind of tacky to have only 15 items on the physical registry. That can't possibly cover all the different price points for a wide variety of people and you'll be cornering them into doing the honeymoon registry site, giving you cash or coming up with something all on their own. The people who won't at least give you cash, also tend to be people who will come up with things all on their own, by the way. If it were me, I'd come up with more items for the registry, link the honeymoon registry to the site, tell all my good friends that we want a cool honeymoon and tell my younger, closer relatives the same and have them all spread the word. If you don't end up with enough, you can always save up the rest for a cool honeymoon on your own and go a little later. From my own experience, I think a lot of people are suspicious of honeymoon and downpayment registries because we don't know much about them and don't want to take the added effort to research it. I've ignored honeymoon registries before because I wasn't sure if there were fees associated with using the site or anything and much preferred to hand them a check. But having the registry at least let me know that they would appreciate the money over a present.
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Jan 11, 2010 19:52
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| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 14:18 |
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CubsWoo posted:Which is fine, I guess, but aside from the fee the registry site takes out (like 5% as we withdraw, I think?) I don't really see the difference. And this is exactly why I ignore people's honeymoon registry sites. I don't want my money going towards stupid fees. If it were me and I had cool family/friends that would be willing to do a honeymoon registry, I would suggest looking into http://www.smartypig.com Rather than a registry, it's a savings account that you create for a specific goal. It's social so you can make it searchable and friends and family can donate to the account if they choose to. So you'd create an account, label it Honeymoon, set your goal amount, and people can donate and see how much you've accumulated (you can set it so they can see the exact $ amount in the account or just what percentage of the goal has been attained). Unlike a registry that takes away 5% as a fee, Smarty Pig will give you 2% interest on the account - which is more than most savings accounts (Edit: there is a 2.9% fee when guests put in money if they don't have their own Smarty Pig account though). It can't be purely social, you have to make a direct deposit each month towards your goal as well but it can be as little as $25 and I think you can put the deposits on hold if you need to. You also get cash boosts from certain retailers if you use them when you cash your goal money out including American Airlines (3% cash boost) and Sandals (a 10% cash boost!) and travelocity (2% - 10%). If you have over a year, you can slowly build the fund up yourself after the wedding, and have people contribute to it again for your birthdays/Christmas/other occassions. KarmaCandy fucked around with this message at 22:08 on Jan 11, 2010 |
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Jan 11, 2010 21:45
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