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I'm getting married in August. Most of the major stuff is planned with the exception of the rehearsal dinner. My (soon to be) mother in law is really cool on everything except the rehearsal dinner. She wants us to invite all the out of town guests (which is 95% of our guest list). When we told her no, she keeps interjecting that we should invite her brother so and so, or sister so and so. She doesn't seem to get how it would be unfair to everyone else. We are trying to keep the wedding about us, enjoy it, and not making it a big production out of it. So, the reason for my  . I know you don't HAVE to invite out of town guests to a rehearsal dinner. But is this some sort of standard thing?
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Feb 11, 2008 15:59
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| # ¿ May 2, 2024 11:48 |
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Gravitee posted:From what I've read, it's customary to invite all of the out of town guest to the rehearsal dinner. I believe it's due to the fact that the guests don't know the area that well, and to serve as a thank you for coming a large distance. It's 95% of the guest list though. I'm from another state and just about all of her family has to travel to get there. I understand thanking them for coming but if I see this correctly. We would basically be throwing another reception.
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Feb 11, 2008 16:22
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Queen of Roses posted:Are you paying for it? The rehearsal dinner is traditionally paid by the mother of the groom, so if she wants some big huge party, why not? If you are paying and can't afford to invite everyone, gently suggest that she help with the budget. You aren't expected to pay for two receptions; that's why you (or your parents) pay for one and his parents pay for the other. I'm the groom and my parents are paying. My MIL has offered to help pay but its really not the point. My wife (to be) and I don't want to entertain two days in a row. Plus we wanted to keep the rehearsal small so the parents could first of all meet, and spend the time with each other and us, not with the WHOLE family. We see the next day as their opportunity to mingle with family. What can I say to explain that to her? Side note: My wife (to be) is awesome. She asks for my input on everything (don't worry I offer to help a lot) and on the few things I don't know or care about she takes care of them. A few things shes asked me to handle (honeymoon, hotels, travel) but shes doing a lot.
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Feb 11, 2008 17:59
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Queen of Roses posted:You guys are getting married and your parents haven't met yet? I live in MN with my job (until May). Wifey lives in NC (where her parents are). My parents live in south Florida. Nope they haven't met though we have been working on it. I can't seem to weasel a weekend off. Queen of Roses posted:Why don't you all go out to dinner a few weeks beforehand in a less formal setting? Same reason. I won't even be in town much weeks before the wedding. I will be living in NC at the time of the wedding but my job will have me in Atlanta (and beyond) when I'm working (5 days a week). <- Pilot's life for me. AWSEFT fucked around with this message at 03:59 on Feb 12, 2008 |
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Feb 12, 2008 03:57
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Queen of Roses posted:Ahh, I see. Thanks to opie and Bizzaro Toby, I guess it's not too uncommon, then! My befuddlement stands corrected. I'd love to do a southern restaurant. That would be really nice for the non-southerners. I still don't want to feed 150 people for my rehearsal dinner.
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Feb 12, 2008 17:09
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My previous advice still stands, though. 
). My folks felt bad about his parents basically entertaining our family on their dime, so they split the cost of the rehearsal. Just about everyone came, and everyone had a good time. We're North Carolinians too, so to offset the fancy tea reception, we had a local barbecue joint cater. It was fabulous; the Northerners on my side of the family were so tickled that they were eating "real Southern barbecue!" and his family (country folk!) felt right at home. We had it at the "family life center" at the church (a big all purpose room) and the caterers did the setup, serving and cleanup. A good deal.