Engagement and Wedding Megathread - You paid what for what?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Engagement and Wedding Megathread - You paid what for what?

Emilar: Jun 19, 2006; Oh snap!

Ring of Light posted:

As unromantic as it is, insurance is the biggest factor dictating when my fiance and I get married. We are both students right now and both covered by our parent's medical insurance. If we were to get married we would lose that coverage and end up having to pay for our own. Right now we can't even afford the cheapest policies, and to get one that would cover his prescriptions with a small copay would probably cost us a small fortune every month. If we went without insurance, his medication would cost us over $180 a month. We are waiting to set a date until we graduate and get grown-up jobs, which means we will end up being engaged for about two years.

Some days I really resent that something so stupid is keeping us from getting married , but I just have to remind myself that I doesn't change how I feel about him, or how much I want to marry him. It is just a reality that nowadays marriage is as much about finances as it is about love.

My best friend and her husband got married when they did for this exact reason (very different circumstances though). They were engaged for about a year, and already had a 2 month old baby when they decided to (at the very last minute) get married before the beginning of the new year, in order for her to hop on the husband's insurance plan at work (which was spouses only). They ended up getting married the weekend before Christmas, if I recall correctly, and only announced the wedding maybe 3 weeks before. Fortunately, they live (and before recently moving, I also lived...) in Las Vegas, so it was no problem to book a small chapel on the strip and have a wedding reception of less than 20 people (all local family and friends, or friends home for winter break) at her aunt's home. So basically, they were definitely intending to get married in the near future, but finances also dictated when, as in your situation.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2008 04:09

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 07:16

Emilar: Jun 19, 2006; Oh snap!

My fiance (also a goon) and I just got engaged a couple of weeks ago and though our wedding is a ways off (March, 2010 tentatively), I've started to research how the heck we can pull this off.

Does anyone have any advice/experiences about very casual, outdoor weddings? We really don't want a fancy event, and want to keep our budget quite low at around $1000. I have a state park in mind for the ceremony and reception, but I still have to check it out in person to see if it will work. We want to have a casual picnic style lunch (I'll have to change this up if we end up having the ceremony in the late afternoon), maybe some beer and soda, and just enjoy the company of our friends and family and a nice day at the park. Not much more than that.

Any thoughts/recommendations on how this can be done nicely?

# ¿ Jul 11, 2008 00:50

Emilar: Jun 19, 2006; Oh snap!

moana posted:

Picnic style is so cool! I would do fried chicken and pulled pork, it's super cheap and delicious (although I'm not sure how messy it would be, but if everyone is dressed casually it won't matter). Or you could do a barbecue. Lots of fruit that's in season, cold veggies...

Can I come to your wedding? I'm starting to make myself hungry Why would you not have a picnic wedding in the summer, though? Do you live somewhere super hot?

We currently live in upstate NY, but my fiance and i will be moving back to our hometown, Las Vegas, in about a year, and will be having our wedding there. The summers are horribly hot, so the end of March is still bearable (even nice). Of course, in Las Vegas there are tons of places to get married, but we (ok, maybe just me) are set on having it in a somewhat natural environment out of the city.

Fried chicken and pork are a good idea, but a lot of the guests (myself included) are vegetarian. So, I was thinking about having sandwich platters from Whole Foods (a health food, mostly organic grocery store) with a good amount of meat options for the omnivores, and some veggie stuff for the vegetarians. My fiance and his friends are big fans of Mexican food (and this one particularly disgusting dish called carne asada fries), so we will also be having a lot of that as well. My absolute favorite desert is pumpkin pie, so I definitely want a wedding pie, at least for myself to gorge on. A BBQ is definitely not out of the question, but I'm not sure if there are any grills available at the spot I'm thinking about.

Heck yeah, I'll invite you!

Can you make me a pie??

# ¿ Jul 11, 2008 17:53

Emilar: Jun 19, 2006; Oh snap!

Slo-Tek posted:

Agreed it sounds awesome, however you'll probably want to spring for renting tables and chairs. As cute as throwing a couple dozen tablecloths on the ground seems, if you're inviting grand-people, or really pretty much anybody over 35, sitting on the ground is gonna get old well before the party is over. I think pavilion rental with bench seating is probably under 50$ per event at most park places.

We are definitely going to rent chairs and tables. We will be inviting quite a few older adults, plus we will need somewhere to put the food! I'm not sure if there are pavilion bench seating available at the park I'm interested in (I hate being 2500 miles away from where the wedding will be!), but I'm thinking about renting some tents, on the off chance it rains, as well. All of these things are surprisingly cheap to rent!

# ¿ Jul 11, 2008 18:58

Emilar: Jun 19, 2006; Oh snap!

Babys1stCockring posted:

My fiancee and myself were thinking EXACTLY doing this next summer for our wedding.

The problem we're facing is trying to find a nice park with something resembling a decent shelter in case its crappy out. We've been finding out that you should try to book the event as soon as you can because sopts are filling up rather quickly. Try to get to one of the parks in mind on a weekend just to see how busy it gets during that time.

Another thing to keep in mind is that if there is rain in the forecast, I've been told there are some places that will let you rent a large canopy for cover. Not sure on price though.

How far along are you in planning?

I've only been to nice, semi-formal or formal weddings, so I have no idea how other people go about doing casual weddings!

Emilar fucked around with this message at 19:04 on Jul 11, 2008

# ¿ Jul 11, 2008 19:01

Emilar: Jun 19, 2006; Oh snap!

Edit: never mind

# ¿ Jul 11, 2008 19:02

Emilar: Jun 19, 2006; Oh snap!

Babys1stCockring posted:

We're only two or so months in.

The only weddings we've been to were pretty much the same that you mentioned. We figured it would be a nice change for everyone.

Our idea of casual is sitting around with friends having some drinks and cooking out on a nice summer day so that's the path we're planning the wedding around.

Yeah, we're only about a week in, haha. Though I did spontaneously buy my wedding dress online last night! That was a big step I was not planning on making for a while, but I found my absolute dream dress (in my size too!), and I wanted to snatch it up before someone else bought it. It's vintage and the only one the store had, so I had to act fast.

Anyway, if you obtain any valuable tid bits of advice through planning your casual wedding, I'd love to hear about it! Good luck!

# ¿ Jul 13, 2008 01:03

Emilar: Jun 19, 2006; Oh snap!

Tindjin posted:

I think casual weddings are part of my family, except one sister who had hers in a church. My parents and other sisters all had outdoor casual weddings and my fiance (who had a big formal wedding and hated it) brought up the idea of a small casual wedding, just another reason why I love her, lol. We are probably going to be having it at her family's cabin near Creede, Co next year.

Biggest issue is knowing the typical weather if going outdoors for your area. If it is a national park or similar the best people to talk to are the Park Rangers who work in the area. Don't rely on it 100%, plan for rain and put up a couple of those awning things if there isn't hard cover available, if nothing else it's some extra shade. Plan food that is easy to transport and doesn't matter if it's hot at time of serving, the suggestion of chicken and pulled pork is a good one. Lots of water along with other beverages is a good idea too.

Good luck!

Wow, Colorado is so beautiful, I'm sure if you decide to have your wedding there, it will be amazing! I would love to have the reception at a family member's house (like your fiance's family's cabin), but all of the houses in Las Vegas (where we will be living at the time), including my family's and friend's, have very small backyards. My best friend and her husband had a great reception at her aunt's (large) house, which was awesome, and gave me the idea of having a small, casual wedding, though outside for our case.

Fortunately, I spent the first 18 years of my life in Las Vegas, so I can say with fairly strong certainty that the chance of rain is quite low (desert + drought), though of course, not impossible. I've been studying the National Weather Service's climate book index online, which is actually partly how I picked the date (March 27, 2010). Of course, I will be :f5:

weather.com like a mad woman the week prior to the wedding day. The place that I've looked into renting tables and chairs from also rents canopies (on short notice, too), so I think I've got the weather thing covered. A rainy day wedding actually sounds kind of romantic to me, though we'll see how I'm feeling about that the day of. Haha.

As for food, I don't want to deal with a hot meal or rely on a willing guest to be in charge of a BBQ, so we're thinking about going with sandwich platters and fruit and veggies. I'll have to ask someone to pick up the platters the day of, but I think those things will be fine kept in a few coolers. As I talked about a few posts back, a lot of the guests are vegetarian (myself included), so just having chicken and pork won't work. We will have meat options for sure, though.

Good luck on your wedding! I'd love to hear how it works out and any more advice you pick up through planning it!

# ¿ Jul 14, 2008 07:05

Emilar: Jun 19, 2006; Oh snap!

Sorry if you already wrote it and I missed it, but what exactly is on the DVD? Did you have someone record your proposal to your fiance? If so, that's a pretty sweet idea!

# ¿ Jul 14, 2008 21:37

Emilar: Jun 19, 2006; Oh snap!

Optimus_Rhyme posted:

In other news, the whole reason I'm in the thread is to ask about engagement ideas. I picked up the ring last week, and I'm just waiting for the right time but I have no ideas on the proposal. A restaurant is out of the question, thought about doing it at a local vineyard but they all close way too early for me. (I'm in NoVa)

A nice proposal is just one of those things where it has to make sense for you and your girlfriend. Do you guys go out to the same restaurant or a certain place often? Do it there. Have an inside joke about something/a place? Do it there. There is no universally accepted form of romance. Do what feels right for you two. I understand you're just looking for nice ideas to make the proposal as best as possible, but just do something that is romantic for YOU TWO, not what a bunch of strangers on the internet think would be cute.

# ¿ Jul 14, 2008 21:44

Emilar: Jun 19, 2006; Oh snap!

quote:

EDIT: To everybody: How long were you with your significant other before you/he proposed? Not many of you shared that information, and I'm genuinely curious.

We were together exactly 4 years for the proposal (anniversary). We'd also been living together for a little over 2 years.

# ¿ Jan 11, 2009 17:53

Emilar: Jun 19, 2006; Oh snap!

LittleCat posted:

myregistry.com and etiquette

This idea is so awesome I may have to steal it. We also absolutely do not need any more stuff, but do need assistance with a down payment on a house or future-house related expenses (solar panels would be sweet). I especially like the idea of having a small list of stuff on the registry for the people who don't feel comfortable just giving cash. Thanks!

EDIT: Is anyone else hand-making their own invitations? Last weekend we bought all of the materials for our invitations (a total of 60) at Michael's Arts and Crafts for a whopping $25 (this includes the envelopes)! I was completely thrilled at how cheap it turned out costing. Once I actually get to work putting everything together, I will definitely post some pictures of the final product. Hopefully they won't be embarrassingly ugly...

Emilar fucked around with this message at 20:40 on Jan 28, 2009

# ¿ Jan 28, 2009 20:30

Emilar: Jun 19, 2006; Oh snap!

zap actionsdower! posted:

We are! We are having my MOH, a graphic designer, design us a stamp with a graphic typewriter element. Then we're using some kraft paper and pretty French Poptone envelopes. The invites themselves will be the stamp. It will be like,
Dear ________ & ________
We invite you to attend the blah blah blah on __________ at _________

and we'll fill in pieces.

I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT ALL OF THIS.

We're making almost everything. My day of PA/bitch is making the cake, we are making crepe paper bouquets and table decor and hanging pom poms, we are making my pearl jewelry, feather barrettes for the bridesmaids, my veil and head piece, invites...I think that's it. I'm an artist, designer MOH, artist PA/bitch, designer bridesmaid. So. Excited.

Awesome! How are you going about making your veil? I'd also like to do this, though my sewing skills are lacking. I did inherit a sewing machine though, so I'm sure I could manage to figure out how to do it by the time the wedding rolls around (next summer, so I've got some time). You've got to post pictures of all your finished products! I love DIY stuff...I think it's so personal compared to the generic wedding "stuff" you can buy just for the sake of having it. Then again, I completely understand not wanting to do DIY in order to save time and if you're not crafty. Worst part about my love of DIY is that I love crafting, but I suck at it. :downs:

# ¿ Jan 29, 2009 15:31

Emilar: Jun 19, 2006; Oh snap!

FidgetyRat posted:

I'm hand making ours. I had her get a list of all the invitations she likes and I am taking little ideas from each and doing all the vector work myself..

Not sure how to go about printing them yet.. But i'm not planning anythign super fancy.. I would love somewhere that does wax transfer printing as it produces clean bubbly text and colors, but can't find a good printer.. Odds are I'll just have it color printed at kinkos or something on some nice paper.

That's very sweet!

Why don't you print them on a home printer (assuming you have one)? It would probably save A LOT of money and will most likely turn out looking completely fine.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2009 15:53

Emilar: Jun 19, 2006; Oh snap!

FidgetyRat posted:

Does anyone have a suggestion for some place to buy kits of blank wedding invitations? I'm looking for something that has the invitations, envelopes, possibly place cards, etc all blank for a reasonable price..

I finished my design and we're going to need to print soon.

I got a ton of card stock to print my invitations on at Michael's Arts and Crafts for really cheap. They also sold enveloped and place cards, but I found envelopes for less at Office Depot.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2009 22:44

Emilar: Jun 19, 2006; Oh snap!

Optimus_Rhyme posted:

So this weekend is my wedding weekend. My fiancee and I are so excited it all finally came together and we've got nothing left to do this week (other than get married). And we saved a tonne of money by:

- Using our ipod (or a backup laptop) to play the music instead of a DJ. My brother is the 'AV' guy to make sure the music plays properly
- Having my friend who is a photography nut take the wedding pictures
- Making/Printing our own invitations/website
- Getting the banquet room at the hotel comped (because we're having it in march)
- Keeping the number of guests at 40
- Having the ceremony in our parish
- Finding an AWESOME florist who gave us the best deal on "cherry blossom" flowers and table arrangements.

All in all (as the man) I was happy with the final cost of everything and it all working out in the end.

Hope your wedding goes well! Just curious, what exactly are the "cherry blossom" flowers your florist is providing? Cherry blossom tree branches or...? They are my favorite type of flower (even have a tattoo with cherry blossoms), so I'd love to know.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2009 02:52

Emilar: Jun 19, 2006; Oh snap!

brc64 posted:

Okay, our plans just hit a wild curve.

We're planning on moving (several states away) in the very near future, and after talking it over, we've decided that it makes more sense to be married before the move. Among other things, it will ensure that I'm covered under my fiancee's insurance when we move (her job is transferable, mine may not be).

The plan right now is to just do a simple justice of the peace type ceremony next month, then have a more traditional ceremony, possibly renewing our vows, after we move and get settled. We're both okay with this, but family on both sides is kind of freaking out, which is making things stressful for us.

That said, I'm pretty sure we are moving forward with this. I don't really know what the next step is, though. Who do I contact to set this up? What do I need to do in advance? Oh my god I'm going to be married!

It sounds like you should be looking into a courthouse ceremony. The first step is to look up the details on your county's web site, or wherever the details of how to get a marriage license are located.

Or do you want your ceremony outside the courthouse?

# ¿ Mar 19, 2009 17:13

Emilar: Jun 19, 2006; Oh snap!

Woah, amethystbliss, your pictures are amazing! I LOVE your dress!

# ¿ Mar 21, 2009 18:26

Emilar: Jun 19, 2006; Oh snap!

iloverice posted:

A park sounded like a good idea but the possibility of random people being assholes could ruin a fun event; also having music and a nice dance area would be difficult. Quite possibly the largest plus here would be a free venue. Has anyone here had a park wedding?

Another idea was in a brewery/winery. This would easily handle alcohol and dancing but we'd like to bring our own food and BBQ ourselves. I'm not sure how lenient some places are about this type of situation. We also don't want to have to spend a lot of money and renting out a place would probably be our largest expense. If you've had a brewery/winery wedding, how much did it run you?

My fiance and I want a similar type of wedding (VERY casual). Having our own food, rather than a restaurant or caterer, is a top priority for us. I've been looking into different parks, but, like you, are concerned about random assholes potentially ruining our time. The nasty public bathrooms (even if we clean them ourselves, anyone in the park can still use them) is another huge downside.

On the other hand, I've also been looking into renting an indoor space (not winery or brewery specifically), and I've found that most require that you use either buy their food or hire a specific catering service. So, you may run into that obstacle when looking into indoor spaces.

Good luck to you!

# ¿ Apr 20, 2009 18:22

Emilar: Jun 19, 2006; Oh snap!

Anyone have any experience with non-traditional wedding locations? My fiance and I are casually starting our wedding planning now, but aren't too frantic since we're about 10 months out (date is June 26, 2010). We are on a small budget (~$1000 total for everything), so golf courses, country clubs, hotels, and what not are not something we're considering. We're having a very casual ceremony/party and are frugal people to begin with, so this no problem for us.

Anyway, so far we've looked into multi-purpose rooms that can fit our ~50 guests at local YMCAs and a nearby library (which has awesome architecture and a little art gallery inside, so really quite nice). It's right in our budget and seems to fit our needs well enough. Anyone have a wedding in a place like this? Do you have any advice?

# ¿ Aug 6, 2009 20:13

Emilar: Jun 19, 2006; Oh snap!

Zealous Abattoir posted:

Have you looked into community gardens as well? I just attended a wedding at one and it was lovely. The plants were there, so little need to spend on flowers and afterwards we had a picnic!

Thanks for the tip! We live in the desert (Las Vegas), so community gardens don't really exist here, but when I googled it, the Springs Preserve (a local historical site) came up, which I wouldn't have thought of at all! I'm not sure if they allow weddings, but I'll look into it. We'll probably still have to have an indoor location for the reception because it'll be miserably hot here at that time of year, but who knows, the Springs Preserve might have something inside too.

# ¿ Aug 6, 2009 21:01

Emilar: Jun 19, 2006; Oh snap!

maso posted:

I just want to say that I totally underestimated how much TIME it takes to make your own invitations. I think it will be worth it when I'm finally done, but my god.

I'm with you on that. I just recently settled on the template (after spending at least 2 hours finding a stupid font we can both agree on... :bang:

) and have barely even started constructing the actual things, and I can already tell its going to take a lot of hours. At least the whole thing, envelopes and all, only cost ~$20!

# ¿ Aug 6, 2009 22:25

Emilar: Jun 19, 2006; Oh snap!

jomiel posted:

GoreGess, Maso, and Emilar: Is it really that terrible?! What kind of design/work is involved? I was planning on printing my own and addressing envelopes, etc.

Well, even though I haven't gotten too deep into the construction of the invitations yet, I think one of the harder parts is over now that I've got the wording, font, format, and the MS word document measured out properly and ready to print. As far as the construction goes, here's a brief overview of what I have to do (hopefully I'll get a good flow going and figure out some tricks to expedite it):

1. On regular white paper, print the text (when, where, our names, etc.)
2. Cut paper into about 3.5" x 5.5" rectangles with a decorative scissor (I hate this scissor, so I'll probably reject that idea later).
3. Lightly color in a stencil (4-point flower design) with light colored pencils onto the white paper on top of the words. Since I'm using light colors and a bold black font, the words are still very readable.
4. Glue paper onto the middle of a 4.5" x 6.5" piece of card stock (I have a pack of 5 different colors of card stock)
5. Hole punch 2 holes about .5" from the top of the white paper.
6. Place a piece of ribbon (skinny, satin ribbon) in the holes, tie a bow. Since there are 5 different colors of card stock, I also have 5 different colors of ribbon which will be color coordinated with it.

It sounds kind of tacky all written out, but it really is not that over the top at all. This weekend I'll probably get working on it, and I'll definitely post pictures. I'm open to criticism, so if it really is lovely looking, I'll adjust it.

Lackadaisical posted:

How long did everyone in here date before getting engaged and how old are you?

I'm 21, he's 24. We got engaged on our 3 year anniversary when I was 19 and he was 22. I'll probably be on the young side of the answers...

# ¿ Aug 7, 2009 05:33

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 07:16

Emilar: Jun 19, 2006; Oh snap!

Zealous Abattoir posted:

You know, I bet there is some socio-economical elements to the whole "judging people who get marry young thing" Where I live it is seen as pretty drat trashy, since it is what the lower class does whereas the upper middle class/upper class almost always wait to late 20's or early 30's. But I dont live in the states per se, so I don't know if that's true there too.

Personally, I can't help but be horrified when someone my age marries and then I have to chide myself for not feeling happy for their happiness.

As someone who got engaged at 19 and will be married at 21 and who gets plenty of judgmental remarks about it, I think people just need a healthy dose of open-mindedness and realize that not everyone has the same goals/experiences/opinions as themselves regarding marriage and what's the "correct age" to do things.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2009 21:02

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Engagement and Wedding Megathread - You paid what for what?