Crash Test... Us [For the love of god try not to add content to this!]

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Cycle Asylum > Crash Test... Us [For the love of god try not to add content to this!]

Doctor Zero: Sep 21, 2002; Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

Please let's take the political system and health insurance rants to D&D.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2009 19:15

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# ¿ Apr 30, 2024 01:51

Doctor Zero: Sep 21, 2002; Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

Oh, we can do close calls? Couple weeks ago I had three different loving people in 2 days change lanes without looking and nearly cream me.

On the way home from work, I'm going through a downtown area in the left lane of traffic, approaching a red light. Dumb bitch on her cell phone in an SUV in the right lane decides she doesn't need to look (or even check her mirror) and changes lanes right when I'm about even with her driver window. Luckily there were no cars in the left turn lane, so I squeeze left and hit the horn. She doesn't hear me because she too busy blabbing on her phone.

Now, I'm pretty sure they didn't teach this in the MSF but for some reason my instinct is to reach over and pound on her loving window. That's how close she is to me. I startle the gently caress out of her and she hits the brakes enough to let me back into the lane in front of her. Then she stays back like 50 feet as I turn around and glare at her while stopped. She's STILL ON THE loving PHONE, but she's making "holy poo poo I almost killed someone" motions and trying really hard not to look in my direction.

Not two loving miles later, some old man decides to do the exact same loving thing. This time I make a better decision and gun it while I blow the horn. I get another "Oh gently caress, my bad" look. :rolleyes:

The next day on the way to work, some douche in a Jeep decides that he doesn't need to look, and the same loving thing happens again. This time, I'm on the freeway. Again, thank God the left lane is clear, and I move over and gun it.

:argh:

# ¿ Sep 5, 2009 03:00

Doctor Zero: Sep 21, 2002; Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

The NonBornKing posted:

This is the perfect reply. Always be aware of the situation the cars around you are in. I can almost always tell when someone is going to change lanes suddenly.

I agree with this. In each of these cases, however I was already parallel with the driver window in traffic heavy enough to make in impractical to stay in a position where there's nobody next to me at all times. In fact, I was accelerating to avoid staying in such a position, but the drivers just never bothered to turn their heads even a few degrees before changing lanes. In the first instance, I was approaching a light and the only way I could have avoided the situation would have been to stop like 8 car lengths away from the light.

I do pay enough attention that I was able to escape, just the first time my brain selected a totally inappropriate response. :haw:

# ¿ Sep 5, 2009 18:43

Doctor Zero: Sep 21, 2002; Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

Z3n posted:

I'd dodge a turtle for the same reason I'd dodge a rock: You can, it's not gonna suddenly switch directions.

When it comes to little animals, I hear that the best thing to do is aim for them, because they will get out of the way, but I just tend to hold my line/get the bike as upright as possible. If I hit them, I hit them.

Yeah, same principal as deer. You have no loving idea what the thing's going to do, so it's best to slow down and prepare as best you can, rather than start swerving all over and possibly making yourself crash anyway.

Animal's reactions are essentially random, so you want to be in as much control as possible to compensate.

# ¿ Sep 26, 2009 06:13

Doctor Zero: Sep 21, 2002; Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

I bet you guys laughed all the way through Saving Private Ryan too, didn't you.

# ¿ Sep 29, 2009 15:39

Doctor Zero: Sep 21, 2002; Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

OrangeFurious posted:

I'm with soy - not too sad over this. When I read the posts where he offered his books I thought, "Oh, he's going to off himself. Huh."

If this was someone I knew, I'd be sad. If it was a well presented story, it could be tragic. It's neither - it's an internet thread without much depth. Tragic poo poo happens all the time and it strikes me as unhealthy to get all worked up about it unless it's somehow made personal.

We can find the story sad without "getting all worked up over it."

# ¿ Sep 29, 2009 17:30

Doctor Zero: Sep 21, 2002; Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

-Inu- posted:

My helmet visor nailed the windscreen I think, because there's a crack on the fairing there and my helmet visor is very very slightly scratched. I shouldn't need to replace the helmet right? I know it's always safer that way, but the actual helmet didn't impact, just my visor and it didn't even leave noticeable scratches.

If you are unsure, replace it.

# ¿ Oct 19, 2009 01:55

Doctor Zero: Sep 21, 2002; Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

Jabs posted:

WEW! GOT MY NEWBIE CRASH OUT OF THE WAY!

...

Rolled back over and cheered..."WOOOOOO! Got the crash out of the way!"

...

So. I got that poo poo out of the way, and it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been.

Stop saying this poo poo right now. There's no rule that you only get one crash, and if you have this kind of attitude it tells me 1) you're way too caviler about dropping your bike and 2) you're going to stop expecting to crash again.

I may sound harsh, but gently caress, nobody should ever celebrate a drop, no matter how minor it is. It's not some kind of badge of honor. Wrong loving attitude, man.

# ¿ Oct 19, 2009 15:37

Doctor Zero: Sep 21, 2002; Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

MrKatharsis posted:

Way to be over-sensitive. There is no religious, moral or other reason why a crash can't be celebrated. He had a milestone moment in his motorcycling experience, and he wasn't seriously hurt or emotionally traumatized. Good for him.

I'm just saying that he got nothing "out of the way." I can understand that he's relieved it finally happened, and I am certainly glad he's unhurt and his bike is unscathed. Just saying is that it shouldn't have happened in the first place, and it's kind of a bad attitude. Unless you're trying to wreck your bike, dropping it isn't ever a good thing. What it should be is a huge warning sign that says "I just did something wrong and I should evaluate what it is so that it doesn't happen again in the near future."

It's not a milestone. Not everybody crashes, and it isn't something to be proud of unless your name is Evil Kenevil.

Doctor Zero fucked around with this message at 18:03 on Oct 19, 2009

# ¿ Oct 19, 2009 17:59

Doctor Zero: Sep 21, 2002; Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

Jabs posted:

DZ - The celebration comes from knowing that I'm going to drop the bike *eventually*, some way, some how, someday. Considering that dual sport touring is one of my long term goals, I imagine that over the course of the next two decades, it'll be more than just this once, no matter how painstakingly careful I am.

And this is why I say you have ~~a bad~~ not the right attitude.I don't mean this as "you are a bad person" or "you are a bad biker", please understand. What I'm trying to say is that, yes, statistically over time a person stands a huge chance of dropping your bike. However, if you are painstakingly careful, you can avoid dumping your bike. It shouldn't be seen with the inevitability of aging or taxes. A huge part of avoiding a crash is keeping your attitude that "everything's out to kill me, but today, I will avoid it."

Yes, I was harsh on you earlier, and I apologize for that. However, I feel that 99% of crashes are avoidable. I don't feel it's a good attitude to celebrate something you could have avoided. Now a big part of me being a jerk to you, is that newbie riders are also reading this thread, and I don't want them to go "Oh, hey cool. All I have to do is get my first out of the way and I'm good." because that first might be their last.

quote:

So, what *should* I be feeling? Stupid? Remorseful? Sad?
Why *shouldn't* it be a celebration? As a new rider over the age of 40, the odds are very, very likely that no matter what I do, I'll have at least one off in the first three years of riding.
Now I know how that statistically likely off happens, and it's my own fault. I learned some important poo poo last night, and I'm a better rider for it. Why *shouldn't* I celebrate that?

(and it's Evel Knievel)

(and this:

Not only did I not die horribly, but I don't have even the slightest scuffing on my gear. No gnarly post-crash pictures of my ripped up gear to post. This is a good thing.)

I hesitate to tell you what to feel, since that's you. I can tell you that I've dropped a bike once, on my very first ride. I suppose you may say that's excusable, and I should celebrate, but to this day, I feel like an idiot because it was avoidable. I've also had some incredibly close calls. I am not proud of those, because I could drat well have killed myself.

The fact that the first thing you did was pump your fists and go "WHOOO HOOO" is what prompted my reaction.

Feeling good at being alive and relatively unhurt is one thing, and I wholeheartedly understand that. It's good you learned something - just don't act like it's some kind of rite of passage. Let me just explain my attitude with an anecdote.

In my MSF class, we had to tell everyone why we wanted to take the class. One kid had already been riding for a while, and had crashed twice. The first time was "understandable because it was his first." The second time, he ended up in the hospital with a closed head injury that took him 18 months to recover from. He didn't think he needed to be in class, but he had to go if he wanted to keep his endorsement. He was actually smug about crashing, like it made him a better rider than the rest of us.

Just don't be that guy.

# ¿ Oct 19, 2009 22:15

Doctor Zero: Sep 21, 2002; Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

And that's why you let the cars go first to act as "sweepers."

# ¿ Oct 25, 2009 03:36

Doctor Zero: Sep 21, 2002; Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

If you have to remember, then you aren't going to be able to. If you take a martial art, you have to do a lot of falls in a controlled environment with padding to train your muscles to react differently so you can fall without hurting yourself.

# ¿ Nov 4, 2009 16:34

Doctor Zero: Sep 21, 2002; Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

TheCosmicMuffet posted:

Right. If you want to ride a ninja, you have to be a ninja.

also, nature's airbag is the best protection:

Well, all I meant was that it takes practice to overcome your natural reflexes. Not that you have to be a ninja.

PS: :psypop:

# ¿ Nov 5, 2009 16:34

Doctor Zero: Sep 21, 2002; Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

Sorry about your crash.

You may want to replace your helmet. They're only good for one decent impact, and if your forehead looks like that, it (the helmet) might have taken one and you didn't even realize it. Better safe than sorry.

# ¿ Nov 16, 2009 15:55

Doctor Zero: Sep 21, 2002; Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

Was that your new bike? :doh:

Glad you're okay. And if you GF really wrote that, then she's a keeper.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2010 16:04

Doctor Zero: Sep 21, 2002; Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

Whiteboy posted:

Background on him: He's 21, this is his first bike, he's been riding less than two weeks. Previous experience? ATV's only. He literally cannot ride a dirt bike to save his life. Last time I took him riding with me he cried because he has no balance and kept falling.

Update: He's broken his foot in two places and is now in a cast. Such a loving idiot.

I'm painting my bike's rear seat cowl+gas tank right now

Has his attitude changed? I am seriously frightened for your brother's life right now.

# ¿ Feb 22, 2010 23:08

Doctor Zero: Sep 21, 2002; Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

blugu64 posted:

Not really. I remember a brief moment of falling, but that's about it. I think I'm going to buy a new helmet anyway though, there's nothing like that new helmet smell!

However, if you can smell that "new helmet smell" before you get one, you may want to get an MRI. :haw:

(Seriously, you went to a doctor, right? Closed head injuries are nothing to gently caress around with.)

# ¿ Feb 25, 2010 19:31

Doctor Zero: Sep 21, 2002; Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

Whiteboy posted:

What an idiot. He's going to be in the hospital for a couple more days and he's on morphine right now. He was going 45 and my dad says he looks like absolute poo poo right now.

First, glad he's (largely) okay.

Second, :ughh:

I don't think I've ever advised this before, but if he doesn't seem to be accepting the fact that he's an idiot, maybe you should talk him into giving up riding before he kills himself.

Good luck you you and him!

# ¿ May 16, 2010 18:58

Doctor Zero: Sep 21, 2002; Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

lwoodio posted:

Like insurance companies need more ways to rape their customers.

Wait ... you get rape with your policy? I don't even get that. :smith:

# ¿ May 17, 2010 21:25

Doctor Zero: Sep 21, 2002; Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

infraboy posted:

I don't understand why people would be so against full gear, I mean by not wearing gear you're essentially TRUSTING other people in their cages not to be total retards and smashing into you from the front/side/rear. I mean i'm a fairly conservative rider and i've seen enough idiots out here that just reinforces my gear all the time mentality. Also why wouldn't someone wear a seatbelt in their car? It's hard to take turns fast in a miata if you're sliding around on the seat without a seatbelt on

I've also worn my perforated leathers in cold and warm weather, it's always really comfortable so I don't see what the deal is. I've tried to jean thing for short trips but it gets drat cold.

I think people feel like it's restricting, uncool, and hot (at least in the summer). Personally, I agree with you. I was raised wearing my seatbelt, and I feel terribly unprotected when I don't. Similarly with gear. It was stupid hot one day and so I figured it was worth the risk to take my jacket off for a while. After about a mile I was so completely distracted by feeling like I was exposed that I had to pull over and put it back on again.

For me, even before I learned to ride I always wore leather jackets all year anyway, so I actually prefer wearing gear. :c00l:

# ¿ May 19, 2010 15:44

Doctor Zero: Sep 21, 2002; Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

Tsaven Nava posted:

Seriously, just what the gently caress is wrong with these people? SHE WAS ALREADY STOPPED BEHIND HIM. She MUST have seen him when she came to a stop, otherwise she would have run over him then.

Did she offer any kind of reasonable explanation or was she just an idiot?

# ¿ May 20, 2010 14:49

Doctor Zero: Sep 21, 2002; Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

Bob Morales posted:

God

loving

Dammit

doing some curves at 40mph, not sure if I fixated on a roadsign or what, went off the road, said to myself "okay, just ride it through the grass until I slow down"

Then I jumped down into this 8 foot drainage ditch. Helmet busted the windshield off, hit the right side of the ditch and tore up my leg/plastic. My body hitting the gas tank knocked the loving wind out of me. Never fell off the bike.

Also I hit some fresh tar with my my car.

Wait, you did that without dumping it? Holy gently caress, you deserve some kind of achievement for that.

# ¿ Jun 27, 2010 00:49

Doctor Zero: Sep 21, 2002; Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

Crayvex posted:

I used to work with a guy and he stated that if he was stuck on the highway and a motorcyclist split lanes he would 100% without a doubt throw open a car door to stop him, even if it meant putting the motorcyclist's life in danger. It wasn't a good thing for him to say considering he sat right next to three motorcyclists.

And despite sticking his foot in his mouth and being asked "So you would try to murder someone just because they were lane splitting" he wouldn't back down. :jerkbag:

And then there was the guy who claimed he raced and beat motorcycles in his stock Miata.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2011 22:31

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# ¿ Apr 30, 2024 01:51

Doctor Zero: Sep 21, 2002; Would you like a jelly baby?
It's been in my pocket through 4 regenerations,
but it's still good.

Was she drunk, or just stupid?

# ¿ Mar 18, 2011 19:23

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