grognards.txt

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Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

Fenarisk posted:

EVERY RPG.NET PROFILE posted:
I'm a Freelance Writer Looking for Work

Funny thing is, none of these "freelance writers" ever loving pull their thumb out and apply to the many, many places that purchase good fiction.

...Oh, good fiction. Right.

# ¿ Mar 21, 2009 00:27

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# ¿ May 5, 2024 05:20

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

clockworkjoe posted:

yes because it's so much easier to get paid and published as a fiction writer.

The saddest thing is that the RPG writing pays better than small press fiction for the most part.

Depends on what you're writing and who you're selling to! :v:

I'll concede that RPG writing usually pays better, though, at least for small work. If you can actually convince someone to publish longer fiction, you'll be undersold by the RPG publishers every time.

</derail>

# ¿ Mar 21, 2009 11:18

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

That is the funniest loving thing.

# ¿ Apr 1, 2009 23:33

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

Memo to self: having a cutesy, tongue-in-cheek idea for a character that's not combat-orientated and instead goes for characterisation and interaction makes me a PRECIOUS SNOWFLAKE.

# ¿ Apr 6, 2009 17:05

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

Be honest: what was your immediate reaction?

# ¿ Apr 14, 2009 03:40

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

You're a dick.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2009 03:56

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

Meme Emulator posted:

Wait, am I reading this right? They released 4e earlier than they meant to?

I can sort of see what this guy means here.

WotC said they weren't releasing 4E until a certain point, so 3E would remain their focus until then, with support and supplements. They assured everyone that they wouldn't release it until X time, so they didn't need to worry about 3E being made redundant/becoming unsupported, and everyone could keep buying books and stuff without worrying about 4E making it all worthless.

Then it turns out they were lying.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2009 04:17

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

My only complaint with (some) games companies is that, frequently, they don't hire proof readers or editors for some of the garbage they put out. Wizards has been guilty of this (I think Complete Psionic was the worst), as has AEG (L5R 3rd Revised).

I actually know a couple of people who bitch about the money-grubbing ways of certain companies, though. The biggest target seems to be Games Workshop.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2009 06:14

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

Seftir posted:

Care to elaborate of Complete Psionic? I'm just curious.

1. The book has clearly never seen any editing. There are sections were the text makes no sense, or sections where the rules are missing entirely (like a feat that tells you that you can make an Illithid Mind Blast by spending power points, but neglecting to tell you how many power points you must spend).

2. The book contains really bad design, like a prestige class targeted specifically at straight Wilders which requires them to have maximum ranks in a cross-class skill, and a sample character who breaks the rules to meet this prerequisite.

3. The book was used to publish errata for the Expanded Psionics Handbook. That's right: instead of releasing the errata on-line, they included it in Complete Psionic. Worse, the errata was meant to make things more balanced, but was actually utterly terrible (including retarded rules about Psionic constructs and the powers associated with them, and changing the damage types and amounts of certain powers).

It was overall just a completely poo poo product that Wizards clearly didn't give a drat about, put out to try and make the Psionics folk happy. The designers then acted surprised when the sub-section of the Wizards community who bought the book started returning it and complaining.

They still haven't released an errata for Complete Psionic, by the way.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2009 17:51

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

I know someone who plays WoW who frequently refers to her characters as her "toons".

This went on for ages until one of the other players loving lost it at her and went off on an actually pretty funny rant using all the obnoxious abbreviations he could manage.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2009 01:30

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

shotgunbadger posted:

Was it you who went off?

No.

Also, you're loving hilarious.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2009 01:35

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

I will put cold cash on the table that every single person who has posted in this thread has done or said something that would justify a place in it at some point in their lives. If you'd deny this, you're frankly lying to yourself.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2009 03:12

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

Mikan posted:

Sorry dude I'm pretty much the perfect roleplayer. My opinions own, I own.

I'll accept your money via Paypal.

Oh, you.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2009 03:14

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

Ferrinus posted:

I will see and raise you w/r/t making up superpowerful custom classes for my magical gold dragon wyrmling pc and then getting really huffy when they're rejected

I'm not going to get into a discussion about this, because I've been warned not to.

FYI, the character was human, I was going to take the Dragon Cohort feat.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2009 03:54

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

No way, where the gently caress is that from.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2009 00:33

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

I think he's trying to imply that since the leader is gay, they're not really equal, because he'd favour the men.

Or something. :psyduck:

# ¿ Apr 21, 2009 01:57

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

I and the people I usually play with are fairly liberal, so I just roll a die to determine sexuality in the few circumstances it's relevant.

Everything about the character, their mannerisms, likes and dislikes stay the same as it was have before the roll, the only difference being that their sexual attraction (or lack thereof) is decided.

This approach has the great side-effect of making it glaringly obvious when players are prejudiced.

I had one player become incredibly freaked out when he realised the NPC he got on with really well and had been hanging out with in-game for a while was gay. I stress that he wasn't being hit-on, it just turned up in casual IC conversation. The fact that I hadn't given the NPC any obvious "tells" led him to accuse me of unbelievable characterisation.

The other players laughed him out of the room. I love my players, sometimes.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2009 03:23

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

Meme Emulator posted:

Nice. Did this actually happen?

Uh, yes?

He came back the week after and apologised and admitted he "had issues", which was pretty big of him.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2009 13:06

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

Desty has a crush. :3:

# ¿ Apr 21, 2009 15:14

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

Desty posted:

And you're deathly afraid of the slightest hint of dicks in your RPGs.

Where on earth do you get that idea from? My criticising the Exalted book? Really?

# ¿ Apr 22, 2009 02:27

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

Here would be better.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2009 22:08

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

Ambivalent posted:

Poser art is inherently horrifying.

It's got that uncanny-valley quality to it.

What I don't get is why groups like Marvel and DC, supposedly big on art, occasionally commission stories using it.

# ¿ Apr 25, 2009 21:21

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

lastexyle posted:

I take it you don't actually read comics.

You're correct, I don't generally. The few I've read have varied in quality, but mostly been pretty decent (or downright exceptional).

A friend showed me "Joker Day" though, and it was full of poser art. Really decent storyline otherwise.

# ¿ Apr 25, 2009 22:52

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

That sounds fantastic. I would also play that in a heartbeat.

However...

quote:

Lucky is now a ditzy Paladin of Freedom stud. Although really, playing a healer might not be as fun as playing a Paladin of Freedom stud in a party of mares. Might have to work on that angle.

Could we leave this part out? :cry:

# ¿ Apr 27, 2009 14:28

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

Ashenai posted:

What kind of a role-player are you? Just imagine the dramatic tension: Twinkle Bloom gets pregnant but Lucky wants nothing to do with a foal, so she has to get a back-alley abortion, which sadly renders her barren. Day by day, she grows more bitter, and when she stumbles on Baby Ribbon sharing a tender moment with Lucky, it is the final straw.

The drama escalates, and eventually the party splits into two, mutually hostile groups, with Twinkle Bloom's friends calling Baby Ribbon a stupid little whore, and the Baby Ribbon/Lucky faction despising the "bitter drama queens."

Meanwhile, Wind Whistler tries to mediate, but quickly realizes that she's coming into season, and Lucky definitely seems interested in more than her adice. Will her hormones betray her and split the group further, or will she find the strength of will to stay impartial?

That's really funny.

Still no. :cry:

# ¿ Apr 27, 2009 17:23

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

Reading that thread has actually opened my eyes to the mechanical imbalances of casters versus non-casters (specifically, fighters) in a way I didn't appreciate before. I'm not sure whether I should be scared that I've just been informed by RPG.net.

# ¿ May 23, 2009 13:19

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

I don't mind playing fighters and the like in 3.5, and until now I've never really appreciated the furore surrounding the imbalance between casters and non-casters. Those examples, plus the linking of this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NTAAvJIGrs have made me realise why people could feel marginalised.

In light of this, yeah, that Pathfinder designer is a tool.

# ¿ May 23, 2009 13:43

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

From the worst gaming experiences thread:

Lotish posted:

I just found out about this thread. I can't say for sure if I've had experiences quite on par with some of these (and if I have, I've mercifully put them out of mind), but I can contribute some which are not entirely my experience (those come from situations involving DnD players outside of roleplay) but are partially my fault.

I got into DnD at complete random when a guy I knew at school called me up in the middle of the night and invited me to play 2nd edition. I met the guy who'd become my best friend that night, long after the guy who invited me gave up gaming in a completely unrelated rage and eventually moved to Colorado to open a bar. (Before he left, though, I did get the rather hilarious experience of baby-sitting a group of teenagers on acid in the middle of a DnD game.)

My friend decided to continue running games for a while, and his first game to DM was my future wife's first game ever. We stayed up for about 32 hours playing a poorly employed Ravenloft adventure involving Lord Soth the death knight. My friend, who was my girlfriend's ex-boyfriend (I'm not sure I was aware of that at the time) decided to make part of Soth's campaign focus on my wife's draconoid cleric, and she interpreted the actions of this undead monstrosity very... vividly. The actions of another player resulted in my girlfriend's character dying horribly by a misdirected death-ray. The emotional experience was such that my wife had lucid nightmares about being stalked and raped to death by Lord Soth for some weeks after that, even after her character was revived and the campaign moved on to completely different settings.

I suppose the moral of that is careful how you play with ex-significant others or you may charge it with unresolved sexual tension and nightmares.

Anyway, after a while my friend got tired of DMing and I decided to step to the plate. I'm...well, I'm a 'kick in the door' style of gamer from an outstanding point of view. I'm comfortable playing along with social games, but I like action. My first game ever was just a 3 in the morning "roll 'em up and I'll kill 'em off" sort of affair where we just dropped the characters--literally; they took falling damage and the dwarf actually split open his brain pan and went into a coma as they hit the ground--into a desert and put them up against psionic spider slavers (I think it was a monster called the Negru or something like that). I took absurd delight in brutalizing PCs and NPCs alike, and thought it immense fun for some time to see how I could imaginatively turn their dice rolls into horrific imagery. I did eventually tone it down after I got used to the power (which invariably comes with being the only guy in a group who likes to DM regularly), but even when it did I still liked to use graphic detail. This had an unexpected bit of karmic payout later:

I was running a campaign that my best friend was interested in getting into with his girlfriend at the time. One of the things my friend had been sure to point out was his character's boyish waifishness and pale, soft features (which were by no means standard to his repertoire--he preferred tall, strong, and dark goth characters and wanted to branch out into something less intimidating). He also happened to be the first to encounter the regional "marshal" regime enforcer--a whip wielding sorceress with a butch bent to her personality. She decided she wanted to interrogate said character, and so captured him. As the scene played out, though, I made the mistake of playing with the idea of her attraction to my friend's character, and she propositioned him, giving him an out from his current situation. My friend and I had long teased each other with bisexual commentary (because it was high school and we were comfortable with that) but I think he may have taken my RP of this strong, lonely, but evil woman dominating a thin, defenseless man as something more, or perhaps he was just really in character, but he resisted, and how. My "marshal" had shocking grasp and tried to use it, in my mind, like a stun gun. I rolled the damage and to the horror of everyone at the table, she rolled enough to nearly kill him, and he started to die. As she tried to revive him, the heroes who were trying to rescue my friend's character were bursting in from downstairs, and everything ended up with his character being basically sexually molested and murdered while everyone else stood by, helpless and horrified. Entirely not my intention, but that's hardly what counts, is it?

It's still one of those 'moments' that my friend brings up whenever someone asks him what it's like letting me DM.

I'm not sure I can quite find the words. Is this grognards.txt material?

# ¿ May 23, 2009 22:05

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

lighttigersoul posted:

Has he ever tried selling used equipment of any kind?

Try selling an old videogame to someone. Unless you've got a diehard, you won't be getting anywhere NEAR full price. And if you sell at game stop, you'll be lucky to see 1/5th the full price.

I guess I'm saying the guy's an idiot.

In fairness, that logic doesn't really apply to things like masterwork swords and the like.

# ¿ May 28, 2009 18:17

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

We should start awarding kudos for both the severity and difficulty of the grognard.txt: more grognardy entries, and entries from better-known community members/designers, should be worth more kudos.

With this in mind, I lay down a $10 gift certificate challenge!

Bring me the Grognard of John Wick.

# ¿ May 29, 2009 04:35

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

To be honest I had read that before and didn't really think it was too terrible. Opinionated, yeah, and maybe a little superior, but not on the same level as a lot of the stuff in this thread.

I'm a man of my word, though. Whilst not hugely grognardy, I guess that qualifies, so unless someone else finds something better I think you've won, shotgunbadger.

# ¿ May 29, 2009 07:24

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

Joudas posted:

That blog is hilarious. It's also great how Robin Laws is in there slapping down these huge paragraph long rants with just a simple, calmly thought out sentence or two.

What's that from?

# ¿ May 29, 2009 15:27

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

Joudas posted:

http://wickedthought.livejournal.com/879110.html

Quoted line is way at the bottom there, like a perfectly timed exclamation point to the whole horrible thing.

Oh, it wasn't John Wick. For a moment I'd thought you'd scooped shotgunbadger for the prize.

# ¿ May 29, 2009 16:32

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

shotgunbadger posted:

says that he has said "IF WE EVOLVED, WHY ARE THERE STILL MONKEYS?!" in a real debate.

I haven't even sent you the :10bux:

and already you're wasting it. :colbert:

# ¿ May 30, 2009 03:41

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

According to D&D, males and females are equally competent and just as likely to be warriors.

This means that when you ride in to that Orc camp and slaughter all the combatants, you're not just killing the fathers, you're also killing the mothers.

tl;dr D&D is crueller to war orphans than real life.

# ¿ May 30, 2009 18:24

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

...You know what, I've been reading this thread too long, I think it's catching.

# ¿ May 30, 2009 18:55

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

Meme Emulator posted:

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A COREBOOK ONTO THE TABLE. ITS 3.5E PLAYER HAND BOOK AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, DRIZZT. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN SOME DROW BASTARDS OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY ESCAPED THE REALMS MOST DANGEROUS CAVERNS. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY COLLEGE CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN COLLEGE CLASS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JEKRS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE SPELLS AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY CASTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNIng

The number of in-jokes in this post, and the fact that I get them all, makes me feel really loving nerdy.

# ¿ Jun 3, 2009 20:08

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

Meme Emulator posted:

Theres only one (the graey alien post), I just made it relevent to 3.5e

Maybe only one intentionally, then, but there's a lot there.

# ¿ Jun 3, 2009 20:28

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

I think our wannabe rapist might be headed for a custom title.

Any good suggestions?

# ¿ Jun 4, 2009 07:05

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# ¿ May 5, 2024 05:20

Etherwind: Apr 22, 2008; Can't post for 70 days!; Soiled Meat

Mikan posted:

You know when you guys pretend to be creepy eventually it comes full circle and you look just as creepy as the dudes we're making fun of.

Those who fight monsters should take care that they never become one. For when you stand and look long into the grognard, the grognard also looks into you.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2009 17:41

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