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njbeachbum posted:Loved it. On this note SpellJammer really needs to be done.
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Apr 20, 2009 21:10
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I love these. They are hilarious! Please do more!
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Apr 20, 2009 21:17
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I had this really harsh DM that used impossible traps and would punish you if you didn't take swimming and rope use as starting skills. I once lost 5 characters in one night. It was the worst night of my life besides 9/11.
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Apr 20, 2009 21:17
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I played the Neverwinter Nights conversion of Tomb of Horrors with a couple of other people at a LAN party... Ended up cheating our asses off because GOD drat that instakill floating skull guy. At least Tomb of Horrors isn't Fatal, you guys. I never want a roleplaying system that requires me to roll for penis girth.
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Apr 20, 2009 23:58
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This is currently my favourite article series. I never played myself, although I did get a bunch of AD&D second edition books from an acquaintance who stopped playing. I've got the Fiend Folio and it's pretty ridiculous, but it seems like that's common knowledge so maybe it wouldn't be fit for an article? I've also got Oriental Adventures, which was awesome to my younger self but seems kind of ridiculous now.
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Apr 21, 2009 07:11
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Jenova Project posted:I played the Neverwinter Nights conversion of Tomb of Horrors with a couple of other people at a LAN party... Ended up cheating our asses off because GOD drat that instakill floating skull guy. Can this be found anywhere online? A search doesn't seem to turn it up. I'm amazed that there's actually a computer game of this horror. Edit: Nevermind, I found it. Like an idiot, I searched for 'Tomb of Terror'. Play and 'enjoy'. BiggerJ fucked around with this message at 09:45 on Apr 21, 2009 |
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Apr 21, 2009 08:41
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I think these articles are becoming more and more tailored to DnD players, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it kinda weeds me out. I have never played DnD, so I didn't get much humor out of the idea of playing through a map that was really hard, but in the earlier ones the pictures and descriptions were all I needed to get the jokes. It's like if Fashion SWAT needed you to be a member of the fetish knitting community to enjoy the humor. Well, maybe not quite like that. *shudder*
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Apr 21, 2009 14:14
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Ishamael posted:I think these articles are becoming more and more tailored to DnD players, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it kinda weeds me out. Maybe a little less focus on the mechanics and a little more focus on the absolutely absurd nature of the logic and puzzles that went into it would help in a case like this? For example, i know that the specific adventure they covered had a lot of situations where you were expected to "solve" some trap, and what probably was more important and humorous was not the traps in-game effects (you die, essentially) but the fact that there were no clues or indication whatsoever that you were supposed to do anything at all. It's like if you were watching an Indiana Jones movie, and it turns out the rolling boulder trap was actually an illusion specifically designed to make you run and fall into a snake pit, and the correct course of action was to stand still and let the boulder pass over you since it wasn't real. No one in their right mind would do this, and yet that kind of logic is all throughout the Tomb of Horrors module.
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Apr 21, 2009 15:25
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Jesus that loving module is brutal. I just looked it up on Wikipedia and the summary there is pretty hilarious, too. "The module is divided into 33 encounters, beginning with two false entrances to the tomb, and ending with "The Crypt of Acererak the Demi-Lich". Example encounters are the "Huge Pit Filled with 200 Spikes" (section 20), or encounter 22, "The Cavern of Gold and Silver Mists": "The mists are silvery and shot through with delicate streamers of golden color. Vision extends only 6'. There is a dim aura of good if detected for. Those who step into the mist must save versus poison or become idiots until they can breath the clean air above ground under the warm sun."" 'Okay, guys. We have a lot of poo poo that instantly kills people, and Bob, I love your idea for the room that teleports them naked to the front of the dungeon through the mouth of that thing that kills them instantly, love it, adore it. But how about this: a room that makes your character completely non-functonal JUST BY STEPPING INTO IT. gently caress yeah, huh?' e: I downloaded the module from their website, and.. wow. This trap is just bizarre. "If the characters follow the “advice” of the pointing skeleton, a powerful effect re qu i res each character making the trip to make two DC 20 Will saving throws, though characters can choose not to resist the effect. If the first save is failed, the alignment of the wearer is altered as radically as possible. If a character passing through the arch for the first time fails the second saving throw, the character’s gender switches."  'You failed your saving throw and your dick falls off. You are now female.'
John Dyne fucked around with this message at 20:46 on Apr 21, 2009 |
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Apr 21, 2009 16:41
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Frolixo posted:I had this really harsh DM that used impossible traps and would punish you if you didn't take swimming and rope use as starting skills. I once lost 5 characters in one night. It was the worst night of my life besides 9/11. frolixo we miss you please come back for one more update 
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Apr 22, 2009 01:08
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These D&D articles are some of the best ever. I await the next installment.
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Apr 25, 2009 04:49
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I think we can all agree that regardless of its orgins Bigby's Bitch Slap is the best name ever for a spell.
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Apr 25, 2009 07:25
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So, Rifts: http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/wtf-dnd-rifts.php?page=1 I had never heard of Rifts before today, but just from this article, it sounds like what you'd get if you took a group of 13-year-old nerds, put them in a room with the annual cocaine output of Bolivia, and told them to come up with a game.
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Apr 27, 2009 12:25
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Best exchange: Steve: Canada and Quebec. Zack: They did a source book on Canada and Quebec? Steve: No. They did a source book on Canada and then they did a source book on Quebec. Zack: My god.
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Apr 27, 2009 13:10
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neoboman posted:Best exchange: Steve: The Coalition also hate magic cities and usually is bombing them or skirmishing. Zack: Magic cities? Steve: Like Tolkeen. Zack: Oh gently caress off.
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Apr 27, 2009 13:51
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Zack's attitude towards this module reminds me of my own and why I never really could get into tabletop RPGs.
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Apr 27, 2009 16:00
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I don't want you two dudes to get burnt out on these articles or anything, but they're totally sweet so keep 'em coming. In fact, did Drizzt & his Dark Elf homies come from a pen and paper game? I think they did, so do that one if you can.
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Apr 27, 2009 16:11
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HitTheTargets posted:I don't want you two dudes to get burnt out on these articles or anything, but they're totally sweet so keep 'em coming. In fact, did Drizzt & his Dark Elf homies come from a pen and paper game? I think they did, so do that one if you can.  Dungeons and Dragons
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Apr 27, 2009 16:26
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neoboman posted:Best exchange: From wikipedia: "The second greatest power [in North America] is "Free Quebec". At one time it was a Coalition State, but constant disagreement with Chi-Town, over everything from Glitter Boy production to education level of the populace, led to secession and eventually a short civil war." "The Royal Canadian Mounted Police managed to survive the great cataclysm, though Canada itself did not. The Mounties have become an independent law enforcement force called the Tundra Rangers, patrolling the northern wilderness." lol.
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Apr 27, 2009 16:48
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How could you guys ignore Glitter Boys entirely? Come on! The Rifts update definitely merits a part two, please please please do one.
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Apr 27, 2009 18:22
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I love these dnd articles. Never played but they're very funny.
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Apr 27, 2009 18:32
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This was the best WTF, DnD so far. Please do a few more on Rifts. Especially the Quebec book.
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Apr 27, 2009 18:42
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neoboman posted:Best exchange: This is so retarded. I'm from Quebec, so it's not surprising to me that Free Quebec would secede from the coalition. I mean, it makes sense, we follow authority until they ask us to do anything, then we whine until we win status quo. This worked much the same way, except with giant robots.
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Apr 27, 2009 19:46
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Portable Staplefrog posted:This was the best WTF, DnD so far. Please do a few more on Rifts. Especially the Quebec book. LE SURETÉ DU QUEBEC (sic) "As an independent nation, Free Quebec now relies on intelligence more than ever for its military and political strategy making. Le Sureté du Quebec is the instrument to that end. This high level intelligence agency has been in operation for decades, starting shortly after Free Quebec joined the Coalition States" ---- lol "Martin Petit is the office gopher, good natured assistant and researcher. He is an 8th level Rogue Scholar who handles research and maintains the office's computer" Sir Gladu fucked around with this message at 23:03 on Apr 27, 2009 |
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Apr 27, 2009 22:47
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Not as good as Fashion SWAT, but close. You guys are only getting funnier with time.
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Apr 27, 2009 23:21
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First front page I read in a while, but apparently not the first Rifts/DnD deal. (?) Any tentacle rape classes? I just have a soft spot for them.
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Apr 27, 2009 23:21
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If only I could get back the countless hours spent playing Rifts in my youth. I could use them to play me some more Rifts! I hope in the future you guys mention something about techno-wizardry and the insane power creep that happened as each source book came out.
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Apr 28, 2009 01:01
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I thought the coalition used juicer...
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Apr 28, 2009 01:51
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neoboman posted:Best exchange: I... I bought both of those. I don't even play Rifts. (Anymore. It's been over a decade. Honest.)
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Apr 28, 2009 07:57
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those are totally guys riding future-kangaroos, aren't they?
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Apr 28, 2009 10:01
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This is what comes to my mind when I read about the juicers.  Also, anthropomorphic dog men with knives........ the fact they're vibro knives just brings it to a whole new level of perversion.
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Apr 28, 2009 12:31
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RushingCraze posted:First front page I read in a while, but apparently not the first Rifts/DnD deal. (?) Any tentacle rape classes? I just have a soft spot for them. The closest thing I can think of is the Oozemaster prestige class from DnD 3.5:   Also I guess you could play with Illithid as your monster race and take the ECL +8 hit but that's cheating
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Apr 28, 2009 13:05
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At the age of 10, thinking wizards and dragons were the greatest thing ever, loving star wars, and constantly writing rules for my own homebrewed games, I STILL knew that RIFTS was completely and utterly retarded. So yes i like this update.
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Apr 28, 2009 20:13
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Wandering Knitter posted:On this note SpellJammer really needs to be done. I would also like to second SpellJammer. Space sailing ships powered by phlogiston are just too ridiculous.
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Apr 28, 2009 20:27
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Bloodnose posted:I would also like to second SpellJammer. It's really niche though. These articles need to stay general enough to appeal to people that have no idea what is going on. Only people that have experienced Spelljammer can even begin to grasp what the gently caress it's all about, and while "LOL FANTASY + SPACESHIPS" is really goofy I don't see how it naturally equates to material for an article.
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Apr 28, 2009 21:31
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e: Y'know what, Rifts is probably full to the gills with tentacle monsters and the one I remember is just one of 'em. I think the Splugorth were basically tentacle Hutts?
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Apr 28, 2009 22:12
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Thanks for making me remember that I spent an entire family vacation in Montana riding in a minivan creating a homemade Rifts module featuring Australia or some poo poo (before Australia was inevitably released) instead of looking at mountains and nature. It explains a lot.
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Apr 30, 2009 06:09
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 This is one of the greatest works of art I have ever seen.
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May 4, 2009 15:25
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CrushedB posted:
Especially if you picture him fighting dinosaur riding Jesus from the creationist museum.
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May 4, 2009 15:36
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I do like how it looks like the devil guy has to threaten the lizard to get it to do anything. "Goddamnit! Turn right you piece of poo poo!"
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May 4, 2009 17:23
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