WTF, DnD?

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > SA's Front Page Discussion > WTF, DnD?

DoctorTristan: Mar 11, 2006; I would look up into your lifeless eyes and wave, like this. Can you and your associates arrange that for me, Mr. Morden?

I think it was just another way to gently caress with the players - make them think it's less powerful than a regular lich.

Does the module actually tell you he's a demilich from the start? I heard tales that the introduction just tells you he's a lich, then the final `gently caress you' in the adventure is discovering that he's an entirely new type of undead who's just killed you to death.

(Loved the article, by the way)

# ¿ Apr 20, 2009 13:58

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 15, 2024 18:01

DoctorTristan: Mar 11, 2006; I would look up into your lifeless eyes and wave, like this. Can you and your associates arrange that for me, Mr. Morden?

Benjamin Black posted:

Would you settle for a cheap imitation?

http://www.cracked.com/article_17455_15-retarded-dungeons-dragons-monsters.html

My god those guys have no clue whatsoever:

quote:

Besides looking like a Pirates of the Caribbean alarm clock, the Demi-lich seems to possess no tactical advantages of any kind. It just kind of floats around, waiting for a party of heroes to smack it out of the air like a pinata.

We suppose it could try to bite you, but the illustration above kind of makes it look like the jaw is fused in place. Man, now we just feel sorry for it.

# ¿ Jun 15, 2009 01:03

DoctorTristan: Mar 11, 2006; I would look up into your lifeless eyes and wave, like this. Can you and your associates arrange that for me, Mr. Morden?

I find that a lot more readable than the block highlights, but maybe underlining in red would be clearer still?

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ¿ Jul 21, 2009 22:06

DoctorTristan: Mar 11, 2006; I would look up into your lifeless eyes and wave, like this. Can you and your associates arrange that for me, Mr. Morden?

XyloJW posted:

You should definitely do some 40k stuff next. I don't know a whole lot about early 40k, but some kind of Chaos or Dark Eldar codex might have the most diversity in stupid monsters

I saw a first-edition rulebook a while back, and their early stuff was a lot weirder - they took races straight from the high fantasy games without thinking whether they made sense in a space setting. Orks and Eldar have survived, but there used to be space dwarves, space frogs, space centaurs, and all sorts.

The craziest part was the amount of dice rolling you had to do. Back in the day you had to roll to see whether your ork's kombi-weapon was a bolta-bolta-launcher or a bolta-las-melta or some other combination. There were 6-7 different generations of genestealer hybrid, and then you had to roll to see whether they had claws or hands, carapace or normal skin, etc. I'm amazed anyone ever managed to play an actual game like that.

# ¿ Jul 23, 2009 22:23

DoctorTristan: Mar 11, 2006; I would look up into your lifeless eyes and wave, like this. Can you and your associates arrange that for me, Mr. Morden?

Verizian posted:

I want to see you guys try to explain how exactly a melta gun melts through METAL armour with microwaves.
Also melta bombs being canisters filled with hard water and a microwave emitter that would cause a nuclear explosion small enough to just take out a door or hatch.
Not to mention boltguns, chainswords, powerfists, thunder hammers and chainfists.

Don't forget back in 2nd edition you still had Squat bikers with multimeltas for even more MELTA POWAH!

What?! You mean those are GONE now?! I knew those stupid space dwarves were dead, but... no chainswords? Seriously?

# ¿ Jul 27, 2009 10:35

DoctorTristan: Mar 11, 2006; I would look up into your lifeless eyes and wave, like this. Can you and your associates arrange that for me, Mr. Morden?

This exchange in particular made me lose it completely

quote:

Zack: "Ha ha, this game is so much fun, I th- hey, your guys aren't in unit coherence."

Steve: What?

Zack: "Your guys, you can't move them like that, the top ones aren't in coherence with the bottom ones. You have to move them in closer."

Zack: "That means my blast template would have covered at least three more of your guys if you were obeying proper coherence. So on last turn they wouldn't have been able to rapid fire on my Berzerkers as they charged into hand-to-hand with your Force Commander."

Steve: I don't know what is going on!

Zack: "So basically more of my guys would have made it to your Force Commander in the assault phase and with the charge bonus I probably would have wiped out your entire retinue plus put at least two wounds on your commander. We need to redo the last turn."

because that sums up every game of 40k I have ever played. It didn't help that my friends would deliberately come up with the most obtuse and far-fetched interpretations of the rules, just so as to provoke a even bigger argument. One time it took us six loving hours just to play out a single turn.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2009 20:17

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 15, 2024 18:01

DoctorTristan: Mar 11, 2006; I would look up into your lifeless eyes and wave, like this. Can you and your associates arrange that for me, Mr. Morden?

Father Wendigo posted:

It's essentially the predecessor to F.A.T.A.L. - in both spirit and design:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHj-lFG8cLA

Ahaha,

?!

I know it's a cliche to describe badly-designed systems as "roll-playing, rather than role-playing", but I think here it's actually justified.

# ¿ May 8, 2010 13:47

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > SA's Front Page Discussion > WTF, DnD?