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Yeah, I know, goons and physical exercise this is madness and all that. Whatever. I know some of you must play the beautiful game as well as follow it. I myself occupy that most hallowed position of goalkeeper, and play in a weekly sixes league. Last season my team finished 4th of 12 teams in the second division of our local league. But that doesn't tell the whole story, oh no. We managed to throw away 2nd place by a combination of giving up a 4-1 lead in our final game to end 4-4 with two goals in the last minute, one of which was a giant deflection. I was SUPER PISSED OFF at this. Anyway, enough whining. Ask me about being a goalkeeper (as if my advice is any use, ha! But seriously. Best position.) and/or post your own achievements, or lack thereof. Vando fucked around with this message at 16:41 on Feb 18, 2010 |
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Apr 16, 2009 16:09
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Worryingly lazy, clumsy and aggressive centre-half here. Went in for the stupidest tackle of my life at the weekend and managed to crack my shin on the goalpost. Am now source of team ridicule.
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Apr 16, 2009 16:12
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I stood in the pub beer garden the other day being an overzealous goalie for some little kids who wanted to kick footballs at me, does that count? I pulled off this amazing save, I like to imagine it looked like Seaman palming the ball away in that FA Cup final against Sheffield United.
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Apr 16, 2009 16:16
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I usually play striker or centre back since I'm almost as tall as Peter Crouch, though with a bit more meat on the bones (pure muscles fyi). I play rough because I'm slow and not that good, just like most guys I'd guess. I scored a legendary own goal in a school tournament a few years back. I was standing 25m outside our own goal, and I was intercepting a pass by simply sticking out my foot. By some freak reason I got the hit of a lifetime and it sailed right in via the crossbar really loving hard. Our goalkeeper didn't have a chance and the everyone in the stands (all 20 of them) praised me and eventually we lost. And that's the highlight of my footballing career so far.
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Apr 16, 2009 16:31
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I played since I was 4 years old up through college and am now retired because there's no adult league in close vicinity. The closest one is probably an hours drive away from me. Growing up I played all of the defensive and midfield positions but as I got older I specialized as a left winger.
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Apr 16, 2009 17:32
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I generally play 5/6/7 a side games and was part of a uni league for a couple of months recently. Only played 11 a side twice. I usually play as a full back/wingback since I'm too short and skinny for the middle of the pitch. I could probably play as a striker/winger too since I'm nippy and can dribble. Lately I've been picking up lots of calf and ankle injuries so maybe I'm a crock whose career has been tragically cut short  I've suggested it before but we could do a football goonmeet with a match or tournament if there were enough people up for it.
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Apr 16, 2009 17:43
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RedPaddy posted:I've suggested it before but we could do a football goonmeet with a match or tournament if there were enough people up for it.
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Apr 16, 2009 17:45
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Proper fouling football. Where goals don't count but broken legs do.
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Apr 16, 2009 17:49
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8raz posted:Can't wait for all the arguments that stem from bad tackles. When I tackle there's no one left to argue  People don't call me scholes because I'm ginger and small (actually they do)
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Apr 16, 2009 17:51
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I play goalkeeper for a bunch of teams here in Tulsa. 1 mens outdoor, 1 coed outdoor, 2 coed indoor, and 1 mens indoor. 5 games a weekend keeps me pretty busy...or it did until Sunday when I blocked a shot and this happened:  Out for 6 weeks with a broken radius and I literally just ordered a poo poo ton of new gear
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Apr 16, 2009 18:03
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ayb posted:I play goalkeeper for a bunch of teams here in Tulsa. 1 mens outdoor, 1 coed outdoor, 2 coed indoor, and 1 mens indoor. 5 games a weekend keeps me pretty busy...or it did until Sunday when I blocked a shot and this happened: Goalkeepers are football's drummers
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Apr 16, 2009 18:04
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Until I was 18 I played for the Edinburgh youth team that act as a feeder club to Hibs. A lot of the current Hibs youngsters came from there, and there are guys like Keigan Parker and Kevin Harper who made it from our team down to playing in England. We were ridiculously good and won just about every competition in the East of Scotland year after year, and as far as I know the club still dominates the Edinburgh based leagues. I played against a few recognisable names like Craig Gordon (who was 2nd choice keeper for his Balerno team) and Darren Fletcher in the Scottish cup, but the best player I remember going up against was Darren Mackie of Aberdeen, because playing at centre half that day, I had to mark him and he is fast and I am very very slow. The highlight of my prestigious career was getting invited down to play in a tournament at Everton against their youth team, Home Park from Ireland and a Welsh team. Going by our ages and assuming he was with the Everton youth set up at that point in 2000, Wayne Rooney was probably involved but I couldn't say for sure. If he was playing, he didn't stand out amongst the rest of the Everton lads who were playing to a ridiculously high standard while our manager's attitude of "I don't know any restaurants in Liverpool, let's have McDonalds for dinner every night" surprisingly made us the weakest side in the competition. When I went away through to the west to Uni and realised that I would never make it as a pro, I signed for a Jewish Glasgow team play at junior level, which is probably comparable to Scottish non-league football. Also it is worth pointing out that I am not Jewish, the guy who told me to come along to train originally with the club wasn't Jewish and the guy who told that guy to originally sign for the club wasn't Jewish either. Trust me I checked in the showers. After that it all goes downhill from there and I am just another victim on the Soccer Scrapheap. I played for another junior team through in the east for a year but it didn't work out, then I signed for an amateur team who were crap, I moved in 2007/2008 to play for the same amateur team that Scott Brown's brother played for and I hung up my boots last summer since I am studying professional accounting exams and technically I shouldn't have any free time, but I waste my entire day posting with you losers so I guess I could have managed to keep playing. And that's the story of how big my penis is, does anyone have any questions
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Apr 16, 2009 19:06
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I started playing for my local club when I was about 8 or so. I moved towns and joined a more competitive (North Jersey) club at about 13, won a fairly large tournament and our league once. Started playing in a more-select, Jersey and national team, but we weren't spectacular but it was a lot of fun. Started playing CM. Played for my school team, won our county tournament, state tournament and group in the first two years, reached the finals for the next year, and this year we just had an average season. Injuries mean I'm not really playing to high a level anymore
tbp fucked around with this message at 00:25 on Apr 17, 2009 |
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Apr 16, 2009 19:12
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Played center midfield and as a centre back when I was younger in my youth days. in high school I played defensive midfield for our team and we did pretty decently, though I infamously did a knee high foul on a rival high school's star player and basically was told to not show up to practice...so that was the end of my career.
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Apr 16, 2009 19:27
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I just play 5- or 6-a-side (depending one how many people show up) once a week. No fancy positions, everyone takes a turn in goal (or we play last man back), so I run my overweight rear end all over the pitch.
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Apr 16, 2009 19:43
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I played in middle school and for my high school team back in the day; I was a center back for most of it though occasionally my high school coach would put me in as a defensive midfielder. Im fairly tall (6'4") and have been for a long time so I was good for headers and knocking guys over but constantly got nutmegged because I was slow and there's like a mile of space between my legs when Im trying to defend. I went to high school on a military base for American kids in Italy and we played against the other military base schools in our league from Italy and occasionally from Germany. We also had the excitement of playing against the teams from private boarding schools (for diplomats kids, business people's kids, rich Italians, etc) in Rome and Milan. These guys constantly tore us apart and the few of us on my team who were actually Italian got a lot of grief for playing with the Americans and being "zingari" (gypsies) since we weren't rolling in money like they were. They really steamrolled us every time though; one of the kids on one of the Milan squads was playing in the Inter youth system as well. I scored one memorable goal in high school from slightly back of the midfield line. I went to desperately clear the ball, the opposing team's goalkeeper was way too far up and the ball went right over him and in to the net. I didn't even realize that I had scored until my teammates mobbed me. I thought it had gone over the goal and got caught in the rear netting. I've since gained 70+ pounds and clumsily play in my company's equivalent of a beer league for footy.
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Apr 16, 2009 19:55
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Oh Em Gee posted:Played center midfield and as a centre back when I was younger in my youth days. in high school I played defensive midfield for our team and we did pretty decently, though I infamously did a knee high foul on a rival high school's star player and basically was told to not show up to practice...so that was the end of my career. I think this is the best story yet. I never actually played club football past the age of 8 or something like that, but I've lived right next to a football field for most of my life, so everytime the weather's been remotely decent, I've been out playing with mates. Summer's returning here now, so I've started getting out and playing more again. I'm a terrible dribbler and I'm pretty sure I've never taken a man on and beat him, but I put out decent throughballs and crosses, so I guess I'm some kind of playmaker if anything?
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Apr 16, 2009 20:05
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I play 5-a-side indoor with work friends. I play defense on either side. My strategy is to pick a guy from the other team and try to make his life miserable and trying my best to not let him do anything. I rarely act on offense because I'm too slow. I was in the minors of my local team when I was 14, but got kicked out for missing practice and being lazy.
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Apr 16, 2009 20:23
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Oh Em Gee posted:Played center midfield and as a centre back when I was younger in my youth days. in high school I played defensive midfield for our team and we did pretty decently, though I infamously did a knee high foul on a rival high school's star player and basically was told to not show up to practice...so that was the end of my career. It sounds like you were doing a perfect defensive midfielder's job. Your coach must have been poo poo.
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Apr 16, 2009 20:24
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I went to this Derby County soccer school thing for under-11s, it was pretty cool. It never went any further than that though, beyond occassionally getting friends together and doing 5 a sides though. At uni we play other accomodation blocks in our college and I play on the wing since I'm pathetically useless unless putting the ball in.
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Apr 16, 2009 20:28
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up until the age of 14 I basically just played with my friends on the street / grass when it wasn't waterlogged thanks to the Irish weather. When I went to secondary school I showed up for training and got put in goal because I was taller than everyone else, although I have played center back and as a striker as injuries dictated. I'm not fast enough to keep up with the pacy kids on the wings though, so those weren't very successful ventures (although for the semi finals of the year we won the cup, I scored the second goal in a 3-3 draw and then went in goal for the shoot out and saved TWO penalties) Haven't played much recently, since I left school, if I can be arsed to lose weight and get fit I might try for the college team. The most I do is a kickabout on Monday evenings with the guys from work. Past glories ITT.
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Apr 16, 2009 20:28
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Oh yeah, I also went to a soccer school run by Alan Kennedy one summer in the early 90s. Can't remember much of it, though I suspect it was at this point that I picked up my awesome penalty taking abilities.
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Apr 16, 2009 21:08
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This is basically how I imagine a goon football meet would go http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7moUSmw4xC8&feature=related
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Apr 16, 2009 21:12
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theblindparrot posted:I started playing for my local club when I was about 8 or so. I moved towns and joined a more competitive (North Jersey) club at about 13, won a fairly large tournament and our league once. Started playing in a more-select, Jersey and International team, but we weren't spectacular but it was a lot of fun. Started playing CM. Played for my school team, won our county tournament, state tournament and group in the first two years, reached the finals for the next year, and this year we just had an average season. Injuries mean I'm not really playing to high a level anymore I'm going to regret this but where in Jersey do you live and who do you play for? Anyway, I'm a wingback, usually left side although I'm naturally right footed. I prefer to play in the midfield but my coach, who isn't too bright, has the philosophy of "you can run fast all day, good, you're playing defense so you can cover for the slow gently caress center backs." I actually had a USL-2 team looking at me about a year ago but then I dislocated my knee twice in a month and it hasn't been the same since. I'm 24 so the dream is probably over at this point. Now I just spunk away money on gear.
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Apr 16, 2009 21:16
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Glazed Child posted:I just play 5- or 6-a-side (depending one how many people show up) once a week. No fancy positions, everyone takes a turn in goal (or we play last man back), so I run my overweight rear end all over the pitch. Basically this, except I'm underweight, not over. And I always end up in goal a lot of the time because most of the others won't volunteer. Might be a good thing, since I'm awful. Can't head, can't dribble, can't even kick people. The only thing I can do decently is finish.
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Apr 16, 2009 21:57
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c0burn posted:This is basically how I imagine a goon football meet would go http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aj7f3B1VCYM
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Apr 16, 2009 22:17
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Russ posted:the best player I remember going up against was Darren Mackie of Aberdeen, because playing at centre half that day, I had to mark him and he is fast and I am very very slow. I am also very slow and had a similar experience playing for a manchester schools select team against a side from birmingham when I was told to mark some guy who was a couple of years older than me called Darius Vassell. Well he turned out to be pretty drat quick and scored 4 goals in the first half with me not even getting close enough to foul him. County football was the highest standard I got to but I was never really that good and just seemed to continually get into teams by not making noticeable mistakes due to my amazing tactic of never, ever, trying anything risky. Lot 49 fucked around with this message at 22:29 on Apr 16, 2009 |
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Apr 16, 2009 22:26
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Me and some mates play a friendly 7-a-side game every monday against a bunch of lads we know. My crowning achievment was scoring 9 goals in 7's one week. And the games are usually only scores like 5-4 or 5-5. Just one of those weeks where everything you hit goes in. And every thursday our 7's team plus a few more mates play 5-a-side, mixing the teams every week. I play as a striker most of the time. I'm slow but well build so I just try to hold off defenders and strike it as hard as I can. I just got back from that, the game ended after an hour or so when I was hit in the bollocks from 5 yards after I foolishly jumped up to block a screamer. Apparently it hit me while i was in mid air and I just landed flat on my side. I lay on the ground trying not to puke for ten minutes then we went home. They're very tender atm
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Apr 16, 2009 22:43
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Vando posted:It sounds like you were doing a perfect defensive midfielder's job. Your coach must have been poo poo. Our coach would yell at us if we tried to do step overs and what not, even when it was perfectly warranted and would bench people if they tried any of it in favor of someone who just tried to punt a ball around hopelessly.
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Apr 16, 2009 23:28
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Oh Em Gee posted:Our coach would yell at us if we tried to do step overs and what not, even when it was perfectly warranted and would bench people if they tried any of it in favor of someone who just tried to punt a ball around hopelessly. If it's good enough for half the premiership it's good enough for you.
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Apr 16, 2009 23:31
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Oceanbound posted:Basically this, except I'm underweight, not over. And I always end up in goal a lot of the time because most of the others won't volunteer. Might be a good thing, since I'm awful. Can't head, can't dribble, can't even kick people. The only thing I can do decently is finish. I'd probably be an ok player if I lost a bit of weight, I have ok control, pretty good shot from distance, and good passing. If I'm not too tired I'll take on someone, and occasionally get around them. I just need to get more exercise than running around for an hour once a week. c0burn posted:This is basically how I imagine a goon football meet would go Russ posted:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aj7f3B1VCYM 
irlZaphod fucked around with this message at 00:08 on Apr 17, 2009 |
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Apr 17, 2009 00:05
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I'm like Jan Molby Fat Immobile Hell of a pass
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Apr 17, 2009 00:08
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I played up until I was 18 and left school and now I probably haven't even kicked a ball for 2 years. When I was in primary school we won our district's (Edinburgh West) league on the last day of the season against the only team that could potentially beat us to the title (haha gently caress you Juniper Green). We played 4-5-1 with two DMs and our tactic was to win successive throw ins down the line until we got a corner and then score from that. We were unstoppable.
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Apr 17, 2009 00:14
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Shrapnac posted:I'm going to regret this but where in Jersey do you live and who do you play for? I'd really rather not say where I lived but I definitely wasn't at your level - I probably couldn't even play for my college team, nevermind USL edit: Oh and in the post you quoted, I meant national, not international. Mostly mid-atlantic stuff
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Apr 17, 2009 00:24
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I played field for a year in school, then moved on to AFL and Cricket for my last two years because I was better at them. However, we started up a five a side futsol team at the beginning of last year. We're okay, we train once a week in summer, then lose all our skills in winter because it's either a) freezing or b) pitch black when we can all get together. I started off playing up forward and was pretty good, kinda averaging a couple of goals a game. Then i moved back to play defensive anchor because we were leaking goals down there which i kind of prefer because i get to feel like Vidic when i run around and booting the ball away. However, i seem to have come to a mental hump with my skills, in training i think I've got fairly good dribbling skills and feel like i have a chance of beating someone one on one but when it comes to games i just cant bring myself to challenge anyone else. Its dumb but i have in my head that if i gently caress up I've really let the team down in a game, where as in training it doesn't matter so who cares. i cannot get over this. also i play goal, which is just a matter of cutting down on angles and getting out low and early. also being able to take the kick in the chest you're bound to get. for future reference - Nike Total 90 shoots. The really garish yellow and silver ones Rooney wore last season. hughsieblingwish fucked around with this message at 00:29 on Apr 17, 2009 |
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Apr 17, 2009 00:27
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Russ posted:And that's the story of how big my penis is, does anyone have any questions How big is Darren Mackie's penis.
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Apr 17, 2009 00:36
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i didn't have any friends when i was a kid, so i just learnt to do a cruyff turn nobody ever knows what i'm going to do when i play now (hint: it is a cruyff turn)
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Apr 17, 2009 00:46
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hughsieblingwish posted:I played field for a year in school, then moved on to AFL and Cricket for my last two years because I was better at them. You train? I think the important thing with dribbling is just be conscientious of where you try it, make sure that you're in a position where if you lose the ball your team has a good chance to defend it. Other than that don't worry about it, especially in futsol. Nothing more toe curling than watching some idiot trying to play past the opposition when he's the furthest player back and then looking around indignantly at his teammates when he gets dispossessed and the other team score. I'm pretty unfit for a skinny guy, I can do maybe sixty minutes of full on football before I get shoulder cramps and all sorts of weird poo poo. Might work on it over the summer, give me a less miniscule chance of playing on an 11 a side team. And I hate those T90s, I swear my lovely pair are completely responsible for my latest ankle sprain. I usually wear a cheap rear end pair of nike moulds. Best skill achievement : That thing zidane used to do where he does a 180 spin whilst running over the ball. Did that to a guy once, ran the length of the pitch and scored from a ridiculous angle.
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Apr 17, 2009 04:34
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My dad played football professionally in his home country so as soon as I was old enough to sign up for a team I was thrown into one his friend coached. I was put in left back even though I was right footed. Our coach was from some town outside Milan and was a supporter of Inter. He loved the Catenaccio style of football so of course we had to play that all the time. He was a hard rear end and even if we won, but let in a goal he said we didn’t play to our full potential. My greatest moment was getting an amazing slide tackle on the star player of our league. I followed this up with a very poor one and was shown a straight red. I stopped playing regularly half way through high school.
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Apr 17, 2009 04:45
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I did my knees a while ago, so indoor during the winter is totally out cause then I'm in pain the next day. During the summer I just mostly play pick-up games once or twice a week with some friends against whoever's around at the park. Most of the time I play as a sort of defensive midfielder, cause I can't run that fast and my dribbling is mostly awful, but my positioning and distribution are okay. I take waaay too long on the ball to play against anyone that knows what he's about, though. If there's any Toronto-based goons that fancy a kick-around now that the weather's starting to get nice, I'll happily oblige.
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Apr 17, 2009 05:48
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