Stephen King: Beep Beep, Jealous Cow

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northerain: Apr 8, 2007; by Tiny Fistpump

I agree on Sunset. Pretty flat.

The worst has to be Lisey's story though. Way too many flashbacks. I'm 250 pages in and in real world time, all she has done so far is move a box a few feet over and check her mail. The rest is flashbacks of her husband almost dying, flashbacks of the time they were dating, more death flashbacks, flashbacks of meeting her sistet for coffee, etc.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2009 16:48

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# ¿ May 2, 2024 21:56

northerain: Apr 8, 2007; by Tiny Fistpump

Honestly, I think King has some serious problems after that car accident. Since the accident, he wrote:

1. Lisey's Story, about a writer's wife dealing with his death.
2. Duma Key, about a guy (painter) who was in a serious car accident.
3. Himself, getting saved by Roland in Dark Tower
4. Worked the accident into ''Kingdom Hospital'', the TV series. A writer gets hit by a car (a pickup with a dog in it).

# ¿ Jun 7, 2009 23:12

northerain: Apr 8, 2007; by Tiny Fistpump

fishmech posted:

Wasn't that in the original Dutch series he adapted? There's a lot of stereotypical King-isms in that show were in the original Dutch.

I doubt it was so detailed. The guy was hit by a pickup (same as King), because the driver's dog was bothering him (same as King).
Could be though, I never watched the Dutch one (isn't that series Danish?).

# ¿ Jun 8, 2009 04:28

northerain: Apr 8, 2007; by Tiny Fistpump

I liked a lot the Gotham Cafe story a lot more after a similar case took place in Greece. A guy killed his gf's dog and her, because he hated the dog. Then he took her head for a walk. He was a waiter too.

# ¿ Jun 9, 2009 21:54

northerain: Apr 8, 2007; by Tiny Fistpump

cycowolf posted:

Wondering if its ok to ask since this is a thread for his worst books. What is your favorite book by him? I'm curious as to the difference from one to the other. Also wondering if most people prefer the older stuff.

I want to say my favorite is still The Stand but I am not so sure about that. Might have to really think about it.

I think my favorite is ''The Talisman'', with ''The Stand'' a close second and ''It'' a distant third.

# ¿ Jun 9, 2009 23:45

northerain: Apr 8, 2007; by Tiny Fistpump

NosmoKing posted:

I got about 2/3 through Duma Key (to the point where he was regularly visting the old lady's estate) and took it back to the library.

I think it's the first SK book I haven't finished and I've literally read them all to that point, starting in the very early 80's.

I wiki'd the ending. Kinda glad I took it back when I did.

The ending was the best part! It took a turn towards horror and was actually interesting to read.

# ¿ Jun 21, 2009 15:09

northerain: Apr 8, 2007; by Tiny Fistpump

Evfedu posted:

I thought On Writing demonstrated why he'll never be as good as people like Pratchett or Banks (they both have their off days obviously, but bare with me). That whole segment he wrote where he laid out this belief system that the story exists and he can just sit down and write 2000-3000 words in a day then after a year or two he'll have the story.

I dunno, maybe there are people out there who can do that, but judging from the majority of his endings, he's probably not one of them (while sober, anyway).

Pratchett is better than King? News to me.

# ¿ Oct 8, 2009 22:26

northerain: Apr 8, 2007; by Tiny Fistpump

egon_beeblebrox posted:

Pratchett is way better than King most of the time, I think. Though King has pretty much everyone beat when it comes to short stories.

I just read "I Am the Doorway," and gently caress is that creepy.

I'm probably going to regret saying this, but I think there's a difference: King isn't writing the same book for the last 20 years.

# ¿ Oct 9, 2009 14:49

northerain: Apr 8, 2007; by Tiny Fistpump

The worst story in that book was the one with the nuclear bomb going off. It was basically ''I'm at a posh party and my life sucks oh look a nuclear bomb just exploded, the end''.

# ¿ Oct 27, 2009 18:47

northerain: Apr 8, 2007; by Tiny Fistpump

Horns sounds completely retarded.

# ¿ Feb 18, 2010 10:11

northerain: Apr 8, 2007; by Tiny Fistpump

quote:

Ignatius Perrish spent the night drunk and doing terrible things. He woke up the next morning with a thunderous hangover, a raging headache . . . and a pair of horns growing from his temples.

At first Ig thought the horns were a hallucination, the product of a mind damaged by rage and grief. He had spent the last year in a lonely, private purgatory, following the death of his beloved, Merrin Williams, who was raped and murdered under inexplicable circumstances. A mental breakdown would have been the most natural thing in the world. But there was nothing natural about the horns, which were all too real.

Once the righteous Ig had enjoyed the life of the blessed: born into privilege, the second son of a renowned musician and younger brother of a rising late-night TV star, he had security, wealth, and a place in his community. Ig had it all, and more�he had Merrin and a love founded on shared daydreams, mutual daring, and unlikely midsummer magic.

But Merrin's death damned all that. The only suspect in the crime, Ig was never charged or tried. And he was never cleared. In the court of public opinion in Gideon, New Hampshire, Ig is and always will be guilty because his rich and connected parents pulled strings to make the investigation go away. Nothing Ig can do, nothing he can say, matters. Everyone, it seems, including God, has abandoned him. Everyone, that is, but the devil inside. . . .

Now Ig is possessed of a terrible new power to go with his terrible new look�a macabre talent he intends to use to find the monster who killed Merrin and destroyed his life. Being good and praying for the best got him nowhere. It's time for a little revenge. . . . It's time the devil had his due. .

Sounds like some lovely fanfiction or something.

# ¿ Feb 18, 2010 21:17

northerain: Apr 8, 2007; by Tiny Fistpump

Irisi posted:

And trying to describe some of the short stories in 20th Century Ghosts makes you feel a little silly too "There's this little boy who's inflatable..." or "There's this kid who turns into a giant mutant cockroach...". But the stories themselves were excellent.

Personally, I thought he didn't really do anything with the ideas in the stories.

This guy collects last breaths in a museum. A family visits, lady gets freaked out, runs away, gets hit by car. Man collects last breath. The end.

# ¿ Feb 19, 2010 22:34

northerain: Apr 8, 2007; by Tiny Fistpump

I'm a long time fan of King, but reading ''Under the Dome'' makes me think he just ain't got it anymore. The characters are made out of cardboard, especially most of the villains.

For some reason everyone in this book breaks their nose. How can you break your nose by walking into something? Do you lead with your nose when you walk? How fast are you walking anyway?

# ¿ May 21, 2010 21:08

northerain: Apr 8, 2007; by Tiny Fistpump

Namirsolo posted:

The part about people walking into the Dome and managing to break their nose was what bugged me the most about the book. As a person who has walked into plenty of things, you're always going to kick it first. It's not possible to hit your nose unless you continue walking after you kick it, and even then your hands would hit next.

Thank god it's not just me. It seriously bugged the hell out of me. It's not just the Dome either, every punch in the book results in a broken nose or a broken jaw. Who the hell are these people?

# ¿ May 22, 2010 11:51

northerain: Apr 8, 2007; by Tiny Fistpump

LtKenFrankenstein posted:

This bugged me at first too, but I excused it by imagining that, being a dome, the surface of the wall would curve back towards them, allowing them to hit it face-first.

It doesn't make a lot of sense, no, but it worked for me.

The point is the Dome doesn't curve. Somewhere in the book it says the Dome taps out at 40k feet or something, in which case it wouldn't curve so low.

# ¿ May 23, 2010 10:22

northerain: Apr 8, 2007; by Tiny Fistpump

User posted:

My pet theory about King is that his writing went to poo poo about the same time he went clean and sober.

I think it was after the accident. After he got clean and sober he had a few hit and misses, but he always had those.
Now every book features a writer getting hit by a car.

# ¿ May 25, 2010 11:47

northerain: Apr 8, 2007; by Tiny Fistpump

Zimadori Zinger posted:

Same here. I remember him saying describing parts of a character's physique as "intelligent" or "determined" was lazy sloppy writing, which I agree with wholeheartedly. I also remember several times in the latter DT books he referred to characters having intelligent eyes and faces, and every time he did I would just roll my eyes.

He does this a lot in the Dome too. I've seen ''he said gravely'' at least 20 times in there.

# ¿ May 27, 2010 13:04

northerain: Apr 8, 2007; by Tiny Fistpump

fishmech posted:

The thing is he was also doing that poo poo before On Writing. I'm pretty sure somewhere in it he mentions that this is something along the lines of "do as I say, not as I do, because I have the luxury of being a famous author and you are just starting out and can't get away with what I do yet".

If I remember correctly he says he does it now and then. He mentions one occasion specifically, but the general idea is that he avoids it and that the editors catch them.

Guess not in ''Under the Dome'' though because it's full of them. I think there's even a ''she said dreamily'' somewhere.

# ¿ May 27, 2010 17:13

northerain: Apr 8, 2007; by Tiny Fistpump

Partyworm posted:

I'm about 50 pages in on Bag Of Bones and so far i'm just not feeling it. Should i keep going ?

I like Bag of Bones. What's bothering you?

# ¿ May 28, 2010 21:08

northerain: Apr 8, 2007; by Tiny Fistpump

Asphalt Engine posted:

I don't think I've read any studies that actually linked vehicular trauma to an overuse of adverbs. He has, though, been totally incapable of moving past the incident. I'm wondering how he'll handle the eventual death of his spouse, should he outlive her. He simply LOVES destroying the happiness of his protagonists by brutally killing their wives (and, to a lesser extent, husbands).

I wish to God he'd never had the idea for the Dark Tower. I've never read past the Gunslinger in the series, but I have seen that drat tower crop up in a dozen or more unrelated novels. Every one of them: Insomnia, From a Buick 8, etc. would be better off as self-contained stories.

It could have worked if had put some thought into it. And not used it that often.
I mean The Talisman and Black House were connected to the Dark Tower but it was done so badly, it was laughable.

# ¿ May 30, 2010 10:21

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# ¿ May 2, 2024 21:56

northerain: Apr 8, 2007; by Tiny Fistpump

It's not like King decided to go poo poo on the movie either, he was hired to write the script or whatever.
Highly possible he did a bad job at it, but it's not like he's a villainous mastermind or anything.

# ¿ May 31, 2010 14:05

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > Stephen King: Beep Beep, Jealous Cow