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Helsing posted:King is a great writer if you have the right balance of forces. Keep him looped on whiskey, beer, cough syrup, cocaine, and weed and he's GREAT. Sober him up and run him over with a van and he gets pointlessly weird, longer and his characters start spending fifty pages at the supermarket. More accurate now.
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May 4, 2009 21:51
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Eclipse12 posted:Agreeing with Insomnia. I loved King back in middle school but that book made me stop reading his work. I put it down, realized how absolutely boring and pointless it was and never went back. I think much Steve rage can be summed by saying "STOP USING MAGICAL RETARDS!!!"
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May 5, 2009 03:38
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Steve's list of magical (and non-magical) retards from memory: (please add any you can remember) Salem's lot: Junk yard attendant, tangential to the plot. Blaze: Main character. To be fair, he's brain damaged by abuse, not born a 'tard. Cell: Yep, magic 'tards ahoy. Dark Tower: Pivotal character, integral to the plot and the climax Desparation/The Regulators: Pivotal character, integral to the plot and the climax Dreamcatcher: Pivotal character, integral to the plot and the climax Green Mile: A quite literally Magical Retard, Coffey. Kingdom Hospital (TV series): Pair of psychic tards The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill: Tard turns to plant by meteor. The Stand: MOON, that spells magical retard.
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May 11, 2009 15:02
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Stentorian Longing posted:My vote goes to The Regulators. That one was just straight up stupid. Killer vans from TV come to life? Thanks to a retard? WHAT THE gently caress. Yeah, and at the climax, the 'tard defeats the demon by taking a poo poo Dumb, dumb, dumb.
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May 11, 2009 18:35
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Death Hamster posted:So the worst Stephen King novel is that one where the group of people get attacked by a supernatural force and then the (magical) mentally challenged kid saves them? IIRC, Tom Cullen was the first "special person with powers". The Stand was such a hit that he decided to recycle the plot element over and over and over. Tom's not even all that magical, especially compared to the later iterations of SuperSpEd's
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May 13, 2009 13:43
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Wheeee posted:
Seriously to the other folks thinking about reading Cell, read up until they leave the boy's school and then quit and make up your own ending. Up to then, it's pretty drat good. Think of the events at the school as a jumping off point for you to make up your OWN story!
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May 27, 2009 21:26
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ShawnWilkesBooth posted:Dreamcatcher would be alright without the magical retard and the alien in the guy's head poo poo. Guy hiding in his filing cabinet room in his mind was pretty tedious. Magical retard #12 is awful. Overall, I thought the book had lots of good parts. Friends in a hunting cabin experience creepy poo poo. A few monsters, the crazy fanatical "alien coverup" wing of the military trying to stop the spread of an infection as well as silence the witnesses... The idea that the critters arrive and live in a symbiotic relationship inside the hosts in most cases, but this time they are incompatable, was pretty good I thought. The spreading crud on the people is pretty drat close to the red vines of War Of The World, but I'll let that go (and it was creepy and scary). Magical 'tard and guy hiding in his head in his office??? Nah, that blows.
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Jun 6, 2009 21:54
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Steve books I like?? Christine Pet Semetary Salem's Lot The Stand Misery The Tommyknockers (gently caress you guys, I like this one). There's always some gem in the short story collections.
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Jun 16, 2009 16:57
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An observer posted:Or the amigos. I seem to recall that one being used to nausea-inducing levels too. I got about 2/3 through Duma Key (to the point where he was regularly visting the old lady's estate) and took it back to the library. I think it's the first SK book I haven't finished and I've literally read them all to that point, starting in the very early 80's. I wiki'd the ending. Kinda glad I took it back when I did.
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Jun 21, 2009 14:52
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Foppish posted:It's obvious that he's "mass market" but he's leaps and bounds above Koontz, Cussler, and most other mass market guys out there. A knock against Cussler! Please give me another Dirk Pitt novel where either an industrialist is loving with artifacts OR we uncover some old war weapon! Will Dirk Pitt save the day after racing his classic car and/or airplane? Will there be a swordfight? How LONG will Dirk have to spend underwater this time? Actually, the books from him that I love are the autobiographical accounts of finding shipwrecks. Those are actually quite cool.
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Jun 22, 2009 04:20
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Astfgl posted:Despite the fact that I'm sure almost every King book has been recommended to a new reader at some point in this thread: It is a wonderful book, but again, right up at the end it goes loving bonkers. They defeat the extradimensional monster that feeds on fear by imagining things? They escape the maze of tunnels by a pre-teen mind-meld GANG BANG?? It goes absolultely loving wacky when they get to the lair in the sewers.
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Jul 30, 2009 16:33
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Ortsacras posted:Uhh...yeah? The monster that feeds on imagination is defeated by them imagining things that help them? I don't see how that's even a little bit ridiculous. To retort: IIRC, it doesn't feed on imagination. "It" feeds on fear and terror and the physical bodies of those who have been scared with their own worst fears. "It" can see inside your mind and use the thing that scares you the most to drive you loving bonkers. It tends to pick kids because the fears of children are easiest to distill into a specific image rather than the more vague fears and concerns of adults. Just because you say your fake inhaler is battery acid doesn't make it so. You aren't an extradimensional immortal superpowered embodiment of evil. You are a kid with an overprotective mom. That's why its dumb. It wasn't as simple as "Hurr, Imagination VS Imagination!" Also, the fat kid had the biggest cock, and it hurt the pre-teen girl's poon. loving hell, Steve-o.
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Jul 31, 2009 14:15
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Quad posted:Wait, there was lines about this? I thought it just sorta ended a chapter with "alright everyone, lets get to this" and then they didn't really mention it again. Oh, it's the entire text from Page 1081 through 1086 After reading it again, not only does Bill pack the most heat under his squishy gut, but he makes Beverly come like a fountain when he's loving her. Ick.
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Jul 31, 2009 15:39
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Chamberk posted:It's that scene alone that keeps me from recommending It wholeheartedly. The book is great at scaring the crap out of you, developing great characters, etc., and then at the end there's a completely out-of-nowhere and frankly disgusting orgy. They're supposed to be 10 years old in that novel. T E N Y E A R S O L D ! That poo poo just ain't right.
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Aug 2, 2009 22:46
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fishmech posted:Honestly I chalk it up to the fact that Stephen King was a loving drugged-up junkie for a good decade straight. You really need to remember that. loving drugged-up junkie and alcoholic for a good 30 years straight. Got lit off his rear end on cheap booze in high school, started drugs in college, didn't stop until in his late 40's.
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Aug 3, 2009 13:49
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Ortsacras posted:Also, I assume that it's a sphere, not really a "dome," because otherwise there wouldn't really be much of a problem, right? (But "In The Sphere" isn't as cool a title, of course.) Nobody in town has shovels!! (or any other digging tool or hard flat objects.) It's a TWIST!
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Oct 15, 2009 18:06
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Ortsacras posted:As always, I bought some other stuff to get Amazon's free shipping - I swear that's the best business ploy I've ever seen. It is just impossible to NOT say "well, if I just order one more book I'll get free shipping, so why not?" The wife needed a book for work, so I ordered Under The Dome as well. I just got a Kindle for my birthday present, but I haven't gotten away from the dead-tree versions of books just yet. I HAVE found several public domain books as well as lots of government publications and "unknown" authors out there for free. I think I like my Kindle. Just wish it was a better web browser. Nobody listens to me when I said I wanted a netbook.
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Oct 21, 2009 13:58
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Kid Awesome posted:Questions for the King fans: Steve is pretty lefty in terms of his politics. Liberals = good Horrible Right Wing Selfish Fucks = bad. As for Tommyknockers, I love it. It's one of my favorite books by Steve and one of my favorite endings.
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Nov 10, 2009 22:11
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Max22 posted:True story: when I read Dreamcatcher, I accidentally skipped over a hundred pages. And then I didn't realize it until after I'd read another couple hundred pages. Everyone hates on Dreamcatcher. I didn't think it was that bad. I put it in the books that fall back on the "magic retard" for the ending. Even so, it's not the worst magic tard he's ever used. I think I noted that I like this book a way back in this thread. Click on that little "?" button under my avatar if you really care to hear what I have to say. The movie however, was pretty much complete poo poo and the changed ending was absolutely awful. I DUDDITS!!
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Dec 11, 2009 20:51
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Mister Kingdom posted:When they are sitting there dispensing tasty beverages, no. When they are flying down the road, yes. 600 pounds of steel box with jagged glass bottle necks pointing towards you, homing in on your brainwaves at 60 MPH as it glides silently over the roadway is pretty goddamn scary.
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Jan 7, 2010 15:59
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fishmech posted:Man, you got to read Duma Key. It's basically the most early-King-ish book he's written since the accident. Eh, I'm a Constant Reader and I couldn't finish Duma Key. By the time he started going to the widow's house on a regular basis, I glazed over. Sorry, he lost me at that point.
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Apr 6, 2010 01:57
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Chairman Capone posted:Father Callahan was awesome and so was his story And then Dr. Doom clones show up with exploding Harry Potter toys?? Callahan was awesome because 'Salem's Lot was awesome.
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Apr 7, 2010 14:00
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If you can find the Under The Dome thread, you'll see that Under The Dome could have easily been re-titled BOY! DO I EVER HATE BUSH AND CHENEY!!. Big Jim is Cheney, rather obviously.
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Apr 7, 2010 21:35
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Malaleb posted:That is usually a big a complaint with a lot of his books that the villains die anticlimactically, but I see it more as a running theme. Given time, evil or "the monsters" will often undermine themselves due to their own flaws.The crimson king going insane, the evil demon thing from Desperation destroying the bodies it inhabits, the "evolved" townspeople in Tommyknockers killing each other for petty reasons. Or, evil loses its power if enough people stand up to it and stop believing it has power. Randall Flagg in the Stand, It. I can't agree with the Tommyknockers complaint. the evolved townspeople killing each other and themselves periodically with their "improved" inventions is an interesting plot point to me as it shows people struggling with their changes (and part of the changes is to impulsive and violent behavior) as well as not understanding the forces they are working with. I thought the ending itself with the final battle was great with Jim fighting his way to the ship while the townsfolk decend on him with their lethally modified household items. The raygun whirling umbrella powered by the old man in the tank was a decent enough way to have Jim have a slightly plausabe chance in getting from the cabin to the dig site before he got homogenized in a dozen interesting ways. The final ship powerup "sucking their brains out" moment wasn't an anti-climax to me at all, especially since it leads to him flying the ship out of the ground in the middle of a forest fire in front of the approaching rescuers/army and then he flys the ship off into space. I like Tommyknockers and think it's one of the stronger endings Steve's written. 
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Apr 22, 2010 13:29
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Rudy Riot posted:I ended up buying it. I'm interested in seeing how he handles someplace other than Maine. Ya know why he wrote a book about Florida? Because he's done the snowbird thing the past few (several) years with his wife, with a place in FL for his winter stop. My father drove limo in his retirement (because he's the sort of guy who can't sit at home) and once had the NEXT GUY sent out to get Steve-O from the airport to take him to his home on the coast. I told him to tell the guy that his son is a big fan if he ever gets him in the limo. It never happened in the 5 years that dad drove the limo and transitioned into nearly full time golf. 
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Oct 12, 2010 01:10
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ZoDiAC_ posted:
It's one of the better King books in my opinion. Mostly, because it's in the "everything ends badly" vein like Pet Semetary. I particularly liked the epilogue where it's suggested that the car/Lebay has recovered from being crushed and is again taking revenge
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Mar 26, 2011 03:18
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Tikifire posted:She shows up in IT, gives a guy a lift. He doesn't explicitly say it's Christine but the description fits and there are bottles of the same beer the HS jerks drink (Texas Driver, I think) in Christine sitting in the car. If I remember correctly she's being controlled by Pennywise, sort of. Texas Driver is not beer, it's a fortified wine!
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Apr 2, 2011 21:35
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I'm still a fan of Christine. I like the rage and unstoppable, infectious hate. It's loving scary.
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Jul 24, 2011 03:52
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Half way through "Full Dark, No Stars". Eh.
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Dec 8, 2011 20:26
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Got a gift card for my birthday and went to B&N and among the stuff I picked up was 11/22/63. Now I know what an addict feels like. I looked at the book, noted that there were several poor reviews here, thought back to my recent King encounters (didn't finish Duma Key, currently reading Full Dark No Stars and am not impressed about 1/2 was in, have noted a general downward trend for the last 15 years or so) and BOUGHT IT ANYWAY.
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Dec 12, 2011 15:34
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Velvet Underarm posted:Guys I am a new wanna be Stephen King reader. Do you guys have any recommendations where I should start? Or should I just pick and choose? I actually really like Christine and Salem's Lot for intro King books. Salem's lot is a great vampire story and I one of the things I like about Christine is that it's a book NOT set in "small town Maine". Also think that Pet Semetary is a good intro King book. The most effective books to me are those where the story spirals more and more out of control and there isn't a happy ending, or at best it's a Phyrric victory.
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Oct 6, 2012 17:56
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