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Taima posted:Hi everyone, I have kind of a tangential question that's been on my mind and I'm hoping it can be answered. Hey, here's an idea, be open and honest with her about your fears. Most women who are educated and rational will notice any irrational baby impulses and deal with them accordingly. There are flukes where a condom will break or someone somewhere screwed up the thing keeping them not fertile. As a general rule, two people under the thought process of "no babies until after school/career getting underway" will keep to it. If you both are really trying not to have a baby it won't happen. I think if you're afraid she will lie to you and not take appropriate measures when she knows you don't want a child right now, you should maybe reevaluate the relationship. No offense meant, just saying someone who cares about you will respect your wishes for no kids yet even if it means ignoring their desperate desire for them now. I can't necessarily speak for myself and any preemptive desire for the child I have now. I actually was not in any mood for kids. I had just had a miscarriage 3 months before getting knocked up. My fiance and I weren't as careful as we could've been. I can speak for a desire for a baby again right now, but we both know it's not the smartest decision at the moment and so we take pains to be extra careful not to let our wonderful surprise get a brother or sister. I think this new need for a baby is moreso just my reminiscing about how much easier things were when I was pregnant and when he was still little enough where carrying him around didn't hurt my back. I can safely say that if your girlfriend decides she has to have kids, babysit a friend or relative's baby. Preferably a very cranky, colicky one. That should ebb any desires for a little while.
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Jun 25, 2009 13:44
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I've always wanted kids but I didn't really WANT to have kids NOW until maybe this past year to 6 months. I'm in a stable career, own my own home, and have a good handle on my money situation so I think thats helped me being able to relax a bit and be more open to listening to my subconscious wanting one. My husband totally has a biological clock too so I don't know what you're talking about. He's already excited and likes to go off about how he can't wait to play with his kids and I'm not even pregnant yet.
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Jun 25, 2009 13:52
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Taima posted:Hi everyone, I have kind of a tangential question that's been on my mind and I'm hoping it can be answered. I hope you realize that there are very few, if any, people in this thread who are not in completely stable, long-term relationships or marriages, and that this decision wasn't made lightly. Sure, accidents happen, and Mantis gave you some really good food for thought on the efficacy of birth control (which is that it's normally really effective, but poo poo happens), but for the most part, the people posting in here did not just wake up one day saying, "Welp, time to pop out a few puppies, HURRR!"
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Jun 25, 2009 14:24
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Delurking for a hot second.Taima posted:I have no idea if my girlfriend and I will have kids or not eventually, but one thing that honestly scares the gently caress out me is the "must have babies now" mentality that you can see throughout this thread. And there's nothing wrong with that mentality necessarily, since it's purely biological obviously, but it scares me because I don't understand it, and being a man the only emotion I can think of that would compare is the feeling of "must have sex NOW" that often causes men to forgo the condom in a fit of lust. Hey, guy, this isn't about single-minded goals, just isolating one particular goal and discussing it. For all your talk of pure reason, you sound irrationally worried about what women might be getting up to.
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Jun 25, 2009 16:13
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rain water bay posted:For all your talk of pure reason, you sound irrationally worried about what women might be getting up to. Well, it's pretty hard to deny that there are some women who are unhealthily obsessed with getting pregnant. Which is ironic, considering the more stressed out about it you are, the harder it'll be to get pregnant since stress does all sorts of wacky things to your hormones. I can understand being hardcore about getting pregnant if you've been trying for a few years and it's just not happening, but to get worked up over a few months is pretty silly.
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Jun 25, 2009 16:19
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Another thing to consider is that if you and your wife end up doing exactly what you plan - building your lives together, becoming successful in your careers, enjoying travel, buying a home, establishing yourselves, etc. before seriously considering children - you may end up in one of these threads yourself some years from now. When you plan and you wait and you find you're in your mid 30s before you try to conceive, you then REALLY REALLY need it to work when you get around to deciding it's kid-time, because if you futz around too long you can age out of your fertility. We waited until I was 36 and we were married. Thank GOD we conceived in 2.5 months of trying, or I would have been very stressed about whether I'd left things too late. If we wanted 3 kids, starting to try for the first one at 36 might very well have been too late.
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Jun 26, 2009 00:25
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SKeefe posted:I don't know, I'm just worried again. Of course she will be going to the doctor some time soon and we'll probably get these answers from the doctor. I would recommend that your wife ask her doctor about progesterone. Progesterone pills are commonly prescribed to women with fertility problems or recurrent miscarriages to help the baby really stick, as it is sometimes low progesterone that causes miscarriage. She may also want to ask her doctor about taking baby aspirin, as maternal blood clotting disorders are also a common culprit behind recurrent miscarriage. As far as waiting 3 months, I was told to wait a minimum of 2 months after my son was stillborn before trying again, or we had a serious risk of miscarriage. But that was a stillbirth. After my sister-in-law miscarried in November, however, she was told that the 3 month recommended wait was for purely psychological reasons. She and her husband declined to wait that long, got pregnant 3 weeks after the miscarriage, before her first period, and is now 30 weeks pregnant and doing great. Many of the girls in my pregnancy loss support group have similar stories. I really wish you the best of luck!
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Jun 26, 2009 01:56
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So the cycle starts again. We had sex exactly when we were supposed to and still no baby. Meanwhile, my sister-in-law is going to get to find out the sex of her baby on July 20. I'm excited for her so much, but at the same time, every time my period starts again the jealousy monster peaks his head out.
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Jun 26, 2009 02:03
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Azulita posted:I would recommend that your wife ask her doctor about progesterone. Progesterone pills are commonly prescribed to women with fertility problems or recurrent miscarriages to help the baby really stick, as it is sometimes low progesterone that causes miscarriage. She may also want to ask her doctor about taking baby aspirin, as maternal blood clotting disorders are also a common culprit behind recurrent miscarriage. Forgot about progesterone!  Do this. Some say it's placebo-y but, hey, it got me to the 2nd trimester. I was told 18 months between deliveries after my son was stillborn, but that may have been because of the c-section.
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Jun 26, 2009 02:08
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Azulita posted:I would recommend that your wife ask her doctor about progesterone. Progesterone pills are commonly prescribed to women with fertility problems or recurrent miscarriages to help the baby really stick, as it is sometimes low progesterone that causes miscarriage.
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Jun 26, 2009 13:25
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SKeefe posted:No d&c. She had her levels taken today and the HCG was 55 and progesterone was 19 which they said was normal for both. We'll see I guess. She also gave blood again yesterday and got those results back and it was up to 365, so so far so good.
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Jun 30, 2009 14:17
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SKeefe posted:Well, they took her blood again on Friday and she got the results back yesterday, and the HCG was at 97 (if it doubled like it should it should be around 110), so that is close enough for them to consider it normal. Congrats, I really hope it goes well for you. Those first couple of weeks (actually, this entire pregnancy for me) are a really, really anxious and nervous time.
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Jun 30, 2009 14:23
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SKeefe posted:Well, they took her blood again on Friday and she got the results back yesterday, and the HCG was at 97 (if it doubled like it should it should be around 110), so that is close enough for them to consider it normal. Congrats! It's sounding good so far.  Do you know what her progesterone levels are?
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Jun 30, 2009 17:02
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Lannie posted:Congrats! It's sounding good so far.
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Jun 30, 2009 18:15
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Taima posted:Hi everyone, I have kind of a tangential question that's been on my mind and I'm hoping it can be answered... Have you ever thought of just talking with her? Don't shy away from bringing up the abortion topic, you both need to know what to expect from eachother if a slipup actually happens.
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Jun 30, 2009 20:17
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A bunch of cheap internet strips and a digital OPK confirm -- I am ovulating! Probably today, since I got the positive tests yesterday afternoon. The Clomid worked! 
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Jun 30, 2009 20:19
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.....Daddyo......!  Good luck, Pixi.
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Jun 30, 2009 20:58
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Thanks, Fisty!
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Jun 30, 2009 23:58
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SKeefe posted:I know last week they said they were 19 which they said was good. I don't know what they were for the past two tests (Friday and Monday) but apparently they were fine. Yeah, 19 is an excellent number!
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Jul 1, 2009 00:38
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SKeefe posted:Well, they took her blood again on Friday and she got the results back yesterday, and the HCG was at 97 (if it doubled like it should it should be around 110), so that is close enough for them to consider it normal. WOOHOO! I really have my fingers crossed for you guys! And good news Pixi! Azulita fucked around with this message at 23:19 on Jul 1, 2009 |
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Jul 1, 2009 23:07
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The nurse finally called back (at 6:15 yesterday afternoon!) and told my wife that everything looks good! She didn't say what the numbers were but she said they were good, so they made an appointment for an ultrasound in a week or two.
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Jul 2, 2009 13:39
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Awesome news SKeefe!
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Jul 2, 2009 13:41
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I am definitely glad to hear that things are going well!
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Jul 2, 2009 20:54
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On the what is it like WANT BABIES NOW! discussion--when my niece was born and I held her for the first time I literally burst into tears and was all "when am I going to have time for this in my life?" I'd always wanted kids..someday. That day I realized I wanted them as soon as possible. That day was also 8 years ago. I was 19, in college, and I knew that even though I wanted a baby RIGHT NOW, having one would be a bad idea for me at that moment. Every time I see my niece, or a random baby on the subway, I get a pang of that wanting babies feeling. But no, it isn't something that is going to overwhelm my brain causing me to act in irresponsible ways or deceive my partner. That being said, I'm off my birth control now, on prenatals, and we plan to start trying next month!!!
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Jul 6, 2009 22:04
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Not knocked up yet. I'm pretty sure I didn't ovulate last month. I was really freaking stressed out of my mind. Thats all over with now and I'm fine. My period was totally wacked too. I just sort of spotted for 7 days and that was that. Usually my periods are pretty heavy. I *think* I might ovulate sometime today or the next day or so. All signs point to it. So here's hoping! I just know I'll get pregnant this month. We just booked a trip to Disney World for August. I'll get pregnant but I won't be able to go on any of the fun rides then 
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Jul 6, 2009 23:10
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Well, no babies for me. Got my period last night, went to bed, woke up in complete agony a few hours later (the pain actually woke me up), writhed around pathetically for hours (no painkillers in the whole house), didn't sleep, and took half the day off work. Seriously, it was the worst pain I've ever been in. I honestly thought something was wrong with me. Body, you are LAME.
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Jul 7, 2009 00:48
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The first period I had after I went of BC was horrid, like lying on the floor and whimpering horrid. I thought something was seriously wrong with me because even before going on the pill I'd never had particularly bad cramps! Thankfully it was just the once. I hope you feel better today, Shell! And good luck Alterian.
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Jul 7, 2009 12:50
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TinuvielDancing posted:On the what is it like WANT BABIES NOW! discussion--when my niece was born and I held her for the first time I literally burst into tears and was all "when am I going to have time for this in my life?" I'd always wanted kids..someday. That day I realized I wanted them as soon as possible. My sister had serious baby fever right after she got married, but she was 23 and headed to grad school. Now she has her degree and is starting her career and it's her husband who has the baby fever. But they compromised and got a puppy. Good luck next month!
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Jul 8, 2009 00:47
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Hi Soon-to-be-preggoons! I'm 29, husband is 31, we've been married for almost three years, and two months ago we decided to go off the birth control and start humping like bunnies. My big issue is that I have a very physically demanding lifestyle and I'm worried about it impacting my pregnancy chances (or my pregnancy itself). We'll see what happens. Just finished ovulating..I hate this waiting part!
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Jul 8, 2009 04:03
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Azulita posted:My sister had serious baby fever right after she got married, but she was 23 and headed to grad school. Now she has her degree and is starting her career and it's her husband who has the baby fever. But they compromised and got a puppy. Hehe we got a pair of adorable cats last year which helped quote:Good luck next month! Thanks!
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Jul 8, 2009 12:48
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My temp jumped this morning. It was hovering around 97.4 before and it was 98.4 today.  so hopefully I ovulated. Fertility Friend .com tracking is being weird and telling me I ovulated like 6 days ago even though my temp back then was still low until today and I hadn't even started with the cervical fluid until like 3 days ago. I think it might be messed up. We'll see though!
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Jul 8, 2009 13:20
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Yeah, FF thinks I ovulated on CD, and I've got a charting expert (13 years charting as her sole method of birth control and not a single unplanned pregnancy) and she thinks it may actually have been CD19. We'll see who's more accurate soon enough.
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Jul 9, 2009 04:17
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SKeefe posted:The nurse finally called back (at 6:15 yesterday afternoon!) and told my wife that everything looks good! She didn't say what the numbers were but she said they were good, so they made an appointment for an ultrasound in a week or two.
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Jul 13, 2009 17:14
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My fiance and I are getting married in early September, with the intention of starting our family shortly thereafter. I'm concerned about the fact that she's going to be 35 a few weeks after the wedding and doesn't want to go off of the pill until her last set of pills for 2009 run out - so she can "enjoy being married" and the holidays without having to worry about something like having wine with dinner affecting an early pregnancy. Does it really take that long for the body to re-adjust after going off of the pill? I've heard three months, but she's on a "low-dose" pill and apparently it doesn't take quite as long with those? She has had friends go off of the pill and get pregnant very quickly afterward, and almost seems to be banking on that happening with us. Though, I feel like she's disregarding the fact that it's 5 years later and one of those same friends (same age as her) is having a really hard time conceiving child #2. Basically, I want to respect her wishes, but I just can't help but remain constantly concerned in the back of my head about possible complications with conception as well as during the pregnancy the longer we hold off. On the other hand, she's only going off of the pill three months later than I suggested, so it's not THAT long...right?
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Jul 13, 2009 18:06
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Just got of the phone with my mom and now I'm super depressed. Seems my trashy younger cousin is pregnant. Dammit. This happened with my wedding too. I married my best friend I knew for years and had a decent length engagement to plan out a nice classy wedding. A couple months before mine she goes off an marries her abusive boyfriend. They're now divorced. Now she gets pregnant before me by accident. It might all sound stupid and petty, but I come from a large extended family (my mom is one of 10) I've always been the black sheep. My grandparents on my mom's side have never said a word to me since I was born even though we've all been at family functions. I've never had anything special in the family. I was going to be the first one of my generation to get married. We haven had a baby in the family since this cousin's older sister got accidentally knocked up about 8 years ago. I haven't told anyone in my family that we're trying. Not even my mom. I don't think its any of their business and it would just add to the stress. It doesn't help that every time I talk to my mom on the phone she has to somehow work in the "are you pregnant?!" in some form or another. Then she had to call today and tell me this. I finally snapped at her and asked her if she just called to tell me this as a way of asking why I'm not having a kid yet. I could write a whole e/n thread about my relationship with my mom. Lets just say my therapist told me its a good idea not to live in the same city as her. On the bright side, I DID ovulate this month. 
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Jul 14, 2009 00:47
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I wandered over to the pregnancy thread, and they directed me here. I did not know this thread existed! Awhile back, someone posted ovulation kits they bought in bulk from Amazon. There were 50 or so for $30, I think. I bought one at CVS the other day and it was $17 for 5! I will not have money left for any children I might birth if I keep buying them at that rate. Any suggestions?
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Jul 15, 2009 02:05
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Kelly posted:I wandered over to the pregnancy thread, and they directed me here. I did not know this thread existed! That's what I paid (30 for 50 tests) on http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/ I believe they also have an Amazon store. Same difference either way.
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Jul 15, 2009 02:18
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Lannie posted:That's what I paid (30 for 50 tests) on http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/ I believe they also have an Amazon store. Same difference either way. Thanks - this is really helpful. I see that there are fertility monitors as well - http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/fertility-monitor.html Has anyone used one of those? I've not been trying in the sense that I have been tracking ovulation yet, so this is the first time I'm really paying attention. Maybe one of these would be a bit overkill.
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Jul 15, 2009 03:03
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Kelly posted:Thanks - this is really helpful. I really wouldn't waste your money on a monitor. The test strips are really simple to use and will give you just as good of an indication of ovulation. If the strips don't work for you, the monitor is unlikely to as well. No point in blowing 100+ on the monitor and then also having to buy replacement strips for it. They test for the same hormones. http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/pacof3ovtess.html these are what I used and the results were accurate the first month I started using them. We weren't trying just yet, but I wanted to be sure of my cycle beforehand. I got pregnant anyway because our birth control method failed. Heh, at least I can pinpoint the exact date I got pregnant.
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Jul 15, 2009 03:19
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Hey all. I've been posting my woes in the Pregnancy Megathread; figured I may as well post over here too. I'm 30, my husband is 26, and we've been married for a little under a year. Since we got married, I have been totally and utterly depressed, thanks to a miscommunication where I thought we agreed I'd go off birth control when we got married, and he thought we'd agreed to talk about it when we were married. Fast-forward, and after many, many, many discussions/arguments, my husband has finally seen the light (special thanks to Lannie and hepscat, whose posts really helped convince him!) and we're officially going to start trying...well, soon. I have to get the all-clear from the doc, because I'm diabetic and I'll have to go off medication and onto straight-up insulin while pregnant, and for all I know, I'll have to do the same while we're trying just to be safe. Anyway, I'm praying that we get pregnant really soon! I ordered a pregnancy test/ovulation test package from http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/ myself, can't wait to get it!
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Jul 15, 2009 03:24
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