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I Wish I Was posted:I'll also likely learn some things that will come in handy when we do start trying. You may want to talk to your doctor about starting to take prenatal vitamins, too. It can help to have the extra folic acid kicking around in your system for a while before conception. Really anyone planning for pregnancy should think about talking to their doctor. If you go armed with a set of questions before you are pregnant, when you start trying for real you will be well prepared.
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May 13, 2009 20:19
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Yeah seriously never buy ovulation strips or pregnancy tests at the drugstore unless you're in a pregnancy scare panic. You can get them for so so much cheaper on Amazon or Ebay. If you are a compulsive tester like I was (and will be again) having strips instead of the regular tests will stop you from bankrupting yourself.
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May 14, 2009 04:47
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 Does this mean that your sister has encouraged you to start trying a little sooner?One of the cheapo tests from the dollar store detected my pregnancy before the Clear Blue test, so I have great faith in them and in the cheap ovulation strips too. Hope you guys don't mind me hanging out in here, I'm just so excited for all of you and we're starting to think that we might aim for a mid to late 2010 baby.
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May 14, 2009 16:51
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You jerks and this thread! After a few long conversations and the help of this thread pushing me over the edge, it looks like we are going to be attempting a March 2010 baby. Oh God I'm so scared and excited to start. 
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May 18, 2009 01:15
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Aardvarklet! That's great news! I started taking a prenatal to get all that yummy folic acid in my system. I took one last night and woke up with a killer headache this morning. Am I crazy for thinking the two might be related? Tell me I'm crazy please!
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May 20, 2009 15:09
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Well that depends, which episode was it?  My first symptom last time was being a hysterical mess from about 5 days past ovulation on. I actually threw up from crying too hard after watching The Fountain. Seriously! Strangely about 3 days after getting a positive result my emotions mellowed out but before that the slightest thing would set me off.
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May 20, 2009 16:39
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My prenatal and pretty much every prenatal at the drugstore has 4000 IUs of vitamin A. Wouldn't there be, uh, lots of deformed babies around if most/all over the counter prenatals multivitamins have vitamin A? Oh and as for when to start prenatals, last time my midwife said that in a perfect world she'd get everyone to start taking prenatals with folic acid 3 months before they started trying to get pregnant.
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May 26, 2009 20:12
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I agree that you shouldn't push him. Talk to him about what conditions he feels need to be met before he will be ready to take the plunge. Start saving up money, cutting back on extras and maybe buy a pregnancy book and a baby's first year type of book and keep them in the bathroom or wherever so he can read about the basics that he might find intimidating right now. Honestly, unless you want a baseball team's worth of kids starting at 30 is pretty drat reasonable. If you're desperate and he's not ready all you can do is try to make him comfortable with the idea, and that takes time and conversation.
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May 29, 2009 03:39
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sinistrality posted:So does anyone have any experience with RA or a related condition and having children? Should I get to trying now? Stick with the original 5 year plan? Or just not burden children with a sickly mother at all? While I can't answer most of your questions, I can say that a sickly, loving mother is still a loving mother. You don't have to make all the PTA meetings to still be parent of the year to your kids. My mother's mother was bipolar back in the days of electroshock and institutions, and although occasionally her kids would resent that she wasn't normal, they loved her, she loved them, and it made all of them much more understanding and empathetic to differences between people. It certainly helped that they had a loving father, too, that stuck with their mother even when things were really rough for her. Don't forget that even if you end up immobile you still have a second part of the parenting equation, your husband. He always can try and do double duty on the nights when it's your turn to host the sleepovers. Honestly, love is the most important piece of the parenting puzzle. Having a body that does what you tell it to do makes things easier, but it shouldn't be a dealbreaker unless you want it to be. If you want children you should have them when you and your husband feel ready and not focus so much on some magical number of years after which it will be "ok" to proceed. Talk about it together, read a book or two on parenting-- hell, google "parenting with arthritis" as there seems to be a tonne of resources out there-- and figure out what works for you.
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Jun 13, 2009 14:10
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Hell, I tested constantly and didn't get a positive until I was 5 or 6 days late. 
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Aug 27, 2009 13:59
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Pixi! Congrats that's fantastic news.  Man, people always say when you stop trying you become relaxed enough for magic to happen but it's still surprising when that actually works.
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Sep 2, 2009 03:22
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If you do have PCOS, don't despair. I personally know two people that not only have it, but were using birth control. Both had (happy) surprise babies.
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Sep 22, 2009 21:41
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What my doctor said is that as soon as you are medically clear (had an ultrasound and know that there's nothing in there to mess you up) and mentally sound, then go for it.
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Nov 17, 2009 17:53
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Taima posted:Well I can only talk about my specific experience. When I was in high school and really up until I turned 19 I was convinced that I would under no circumstances want kids and would never entertain the idea of marriage. When I met the man that is now my husband I had softened my idea about kids, but I was sure as hell not going to have any until I was at least 30. I figured 32 would be a good age to start. As my relationship with my husband matured we talked about having kids in the future. He really wanted kids and his parents had been younger parents (they had kids in their early twenties versus my parents, who waited until their early/mid 30s). We wanted him to be all done with school before we started to try, so we kept saying things like "in 5 years, 7 years, sometime when we're older. When he decided to basically stay in school for 5 million more years we sat down and talked about things again. I didn't want to wait for some magical point where we would be ready and I was feeling like although we had the freedom to do whatever the hell we wanted with our time, that ultimately I was ready to be a parent. It honestly only took two 10 minute conversations spread out over 2 hours for us to make up our minds, so I think that really we were emotionally ready before we were aware of it. I think you'll find that kids are a deal breaker for most people regardless of gender. My husband wouldn't have stayed with me if I hadn't been comfortable with having kids. I;ve seen loads of relationships end because of that issue. Hell, some people stay together and one of them gives in, and that rarely ends well. My parents were one of those couples, and I've seen plenty of unhappy people in both situations. It's a major dealbreaker and I don't know that gender has a whole lot to do with it.
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Nov 27, 2009 21:19
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Papaya posted:Also - what are people's views on using a donor but not telling anyone but the immediate family (in our case, our parents only)? I wouldn't tell them. It's your child no matter what, and the last thing he or she will need is a well meaning idiot confusing him/her by saying that daddy isn't "really" daddy. I mean, I would suggest telling him/her when they are old enough so that they have a better understanding of their medical history, but there is nothing gained in telling extended family. It's not their business how you start your family.
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Mar 25, 2010 13:59
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The Young Marge posted:Am I a freak of nature? Or do some people simply never really get the babybabybaby feeling? (I AM confident that if we do have a kid, we'll be good and loving parents.) When I was expecting my first kid I would regularly have panic attacks about how I didn't want my life to change. I'd never wanted kids but my husband knew he wanted them and when we got serious I realized that I didn't want kids, I wanted to have kids with him. When we decided to try for our first we got pregnant within hours of saying "okay, let's do this". The jump from "Hey, want to try for a baby now" to "holy crap we're pregnant" was so short. I thought I would have at least a few months to get used to the idea before having to deal with the reality, but my ovaries had different ideas. This meant that in some ways I really felt unsure of how to process pregnancy. I knew I would be a good parent and was looking forward to it, but I couldn't help but mourn for the life I figured I would never have again. I called my mother up and asked her if she'd dealt with the same feelings. She waited until she was a bit older to have kids and had in fact been pestering my father for ten years about how she wanted a family before he finally agreed. They were both worried about losing their freedom. They didn't like the idea of suddenly not having the money or freedom to pack up and fly to Fiji on a whim, or stay out until 2am with their large circle of friends. Once she got pregnant, after waiting for so long to get started, they both sat down and cried about how things would never be the same. And, well, they weren't. When they wanted to travel the south pacific for 6 months, they had to save up and bring a 2 year old along. When they wanted to hang out with friends until 2am, they had to plan it well in advance and have me stay with friends or grandparents-- or invite people over once I'd gone to bed. They managed to continue to live their lives with me and despite me, if that makes sense. Yes, having a kid means that your priorities should shift somewhat, and you do lose some of the spontaneity that feels so incredibly precious as you count down the days until delivery. The truth is, though, that most people have the same fears and ambivalence about what is ultimately a totally unexplainable change in who you are. Yes, the same person you are right now will still be tucked away inside the "parent" you, but having a kid does change you. The things you choose to give up end up being things that you don't end up missing that much. The things you really care about right now are still things you will probably care about and find a way to enjoy once you have a child. It's great that you feel you have a full and rich life right now. It means you aren't trying to fill up your emptiness with a child and are instead having a child for the right reasons. If it will make you feel better, try to stop thinking about all the stuff from TCOYF. For sure don't listen to someone that calls you crazy for having all sorts of mixed up feelings about parenthood. I tend to be a little more worried about people that swear they 'can't wait and oh boy it's just the best thing ever and there's nothing to worry about yay!' because it shows what I generally think is a lack of introspection.
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Apr 1, 2010 18:25
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Ophelia's Ashes posted:How did you guys make sure you were financially prepared? Well, we knew we'd be surviving on a student income so we didn't have much to work with. We cut down on a lot of our "fun stuff" budget and started trying to save up a little so we could pay for the expenses of the first year. We bought cloth diapers before the baby showed up when we found a good deal on the brand we wanted and got a lot of baby stuff secondhand. Any clothing that we weren't gifted was generally bought at Value Village or from Old Navy's clearance section. The big items that we couldn't get someone to give us or didn't feel right with buying secondhand were purchased bit by bit over the course of the pregnancy. We tried to keep things in perspective and figured out roughly what our expenses would be, then found places in our budget where we could trim to make ends meet. Your baby isn't going to care too much if they have one of those super cool but expensive round cribs or a safe but cheap one you found on sale. You can make baby food at home for a fraction of the cost of jarred foods. Your 3 month old doesn't need the amazingly adorable handmade sweater that's at a boutique for $60, but that 6 pack of white onesies will get a lot of use. Basically, people freak out with how expensive a kid is, but the truth is that it's only as expensive as you make it (baring, of course, the unexpected surprise of needing to formula feed or the occasional "crap, we really need this specific item and had no idea, holy hell it costs how much?!" that will pop up from time to time). Of course having a kid costs money, but I find that people tend to go all out and buy a lot of things that they don't really need just because Toys R Us lets you go crazy with the registry scanner. If you want, we found it helped to set up an education fund as soon as we could. That way when someone asks "what should I get the baby?" You can point them to it unless there is something pressing that you need. One good way to figure out if your budget works is to actually crunch the numbers, figure out how much it will cost month to month for things like diapers (if you go disposable), formula (again, if you are thinking you will want/need to go that route-- even if you don't try crunching those numbers just in case), clothing, and any other expenses that you think you will run into. Once you have the numbers, live with that budget for a few months. Put aside the money that you save and at the end of it you'll not only know if the budget is livable or in need of adjustment, but you'll have a little nestegg to spend on baby stuff or on a romantic trip to a B&B for the weekend or whatever. Oh and don't forget to look into what you can get for having a kid when it comes to taxes. Canada is awesome about child benefits.
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Apr 15, 2010 00:52
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I have hypo too, though it's mild enough these days that I haven't needed medication for a long time. I didn't have any problem getting pregnant and the only thing different during my pregnancies has been monitoring my levels every so often to see if medication is going to be needed. It never hurts to ask a doctor that knows what she/he is talking about, though, if you're unsure.
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May 14, 2010 18:36
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HanabaL03 posted:She texted me today, crisis avoided. She got her period. Being a guy I don't really understand, but is it fairly easy for stress and other factors to make you cycle at different times? Yep! It depends on the person, but anything stressful from "man, this paper is due in two days and I haven't started it!" to "my cat died" to "argh work sucks!" can cause a woman to miss her period or have it be late.
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May 31, 2010 01:15
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