Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

Grifter: Jul 24, 2003; I do this technique called a suplex. You probably haven't heard of it, it's pretty obscure.

I just received this one from my grandmother. It's not as acidic as most emails here, but it is worth posting.

quote:

From: [removed email address]
Subject: FW: Notes from a DC Airline Ticket Agent (funny)
To:
Date: Saturday, August 22, 2009, 8:29 PM

From: [removed email address]
Subject: Notes from a DC Airline Ticket Agent (funny)
Date: Wed, 19 Aug 2009 07:43:40 -0700

>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of 'why' our
> country is in trouble!
>
>
> 1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter)
> ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being
> near
> the window. (On an airplane!)
>
> 2. I got a call from a Kansas
> Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to
> Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport
> information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make
> you
> look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts ''
>
> Without
> trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in
> Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa ''
> His response -- click.
>
>
> 3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called,
> furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the
> vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I
> tried t
> o explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the
> state.
>
>
> He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida
> is a very thin state!'' (OMG)
>
> 4. I got a call from a
> lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England
> from Canada ?''
>
> I said, ''No.''
>
> She said, ''But
> they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)
>
> 5. An aide for
> a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could
> rent a
> car in Dallas .. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a
> 1-hour layover in Dallas .. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a
> car, he
> said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to
> drive
> between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)
>
> 6. An Illinois
> Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how
> it
> was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to
> Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
>
> I explained that Michigan was an hour
> ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the concept of time
> zones.
> Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
>
>
> 7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked,
> ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know
> whose
> luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
>
> He
> replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on
> my
> luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''
>
>
> After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into
> it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for
> Fresno , Ca. Is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just
> putting a destination tag on his luggage.
>
> 8. A Senator John
> Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to
> Hawaii .
> After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to
> fly
> to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''
>
> 9. I just
> got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright (D) from
> Alaska
> who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''
>
> I asked
> him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight
> number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''
>
>
> 10. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D) called and said, ''I need to
> fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little
> computer planes?''
>
> I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL
> on a commuter plane.
>
> She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
>
>
>
> 11. Mary Landrieu (D) La. Senator called and had a question about the
> documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy
> discussion
> about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't.
> I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''
>
>
> I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa.
> When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and
> every time they have accepted my American Express!''
>
> 12. A New
> Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to
> go
> from Chicago to Rhino, New York .''
>
> I was at a loss for words.
> Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''
>
>
> 'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.
>
>
> After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've
> looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino
> anywhere."
>
> ''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone
> knows where it is. Check your map!''
>
> So I scoured a map of the
> state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do
> you?''
>
>
> The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
>
>
> Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!
>
>
> Could anyone be this DUMB?
>
> YES, THEY WALK AMONG
> US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

Is it really a surprise that everyone mentioned in the email has a (D) next to their name?

# ¿ Aug 27, 2009 19:54

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# ¿ May 6, 2024 01:30

Grifter: Jul 24, 2003; I do this technique called a suplex. You probably haven't heard of it, it's pretty obscure.

quote:

�If a conservative doesn�t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
�Liberals demand that those they don�t like be shut down.

A lot of dumb things in this thread, but this one jumped right out at me. The Parent's Television Council is responsible for some absurd number of FCC television content complaints, something like 97% of all complaints come from them and, big surprise, they're a conservative group.

# ¿ Oct 4, 2009 20:30

Grifter: Jul 24, 2003; I do this technique called a suplex. You probably haven't heard of it, it's pretty obscure.

Toad on a Hat posted:

Yeah Revelations is basically "Take it however you want". I got an email that claimed the Book of Revelations says the "Anti-Christ will be a Muslim in his 40s".

In fact, lemme just post it.

...

FYI The Bible doesn't mention Muslims even once... probably because it was written 600 years before Islam even came around.

Using this logic the TSA should be hassling every offwhite guy rolling through the airports, but Osama Bin Laden shouldn't be looked at twice. Also, is there a writeup somewhere of the interpretation of Revelation that points towards a 40 year old Muslim? I'd love to read that.

# ¿ Oct 12, 2009 14:58

Grifter: Jul 24, 2003; I do this technique called a suplex. You probably haven't heard of it, it's pretty obscure.

quazi posted:

Just got this from my dad, who seems to be similar to nearly everyone else's dad:
quote:
Poppycock about 2008 elections

I'm a Hamline University graduate. It's a tiny school in St. Paul, MN. It's pretty sad that this is probably the way most people have heard of my school, and whoever wrote it couldn't even get the spelling right.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2009 15:44

Grifter: Jul 24, 2003; I do this technique called a suplex. You probably haven't heard of it, it's pretty obscure.

walrusonthehill posted:

I got this from my dad...there's a picture included of a gravestone that says:
"United States of America
Born July 4, 1776
Died Nov 4, 2008
Suicide"

---
Professor Joseph Olson of Hamline
University School of Law,
St. Paul, Minnesota,
points out some interesting facts concerning
the last Presidential election:

I'm just glad the repost got my school's name right.

# ¿ Dec 21, 2009 00:12

Grifter: Jul 24, 2003; I do this technique called a suplex. You probably haven't heard of it, it's pretty obscure.

This one just confused me.

quote:

Fwd: Fw: YEAH, MICHIGAN STATE! It's about time

YEAH,MICHIGAN STATE!

Very interesting the University is standing by their professor and not bowing down to special interest groups!

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/wichman.asp

Professor Wichman E-mail
Claim: A Michigan professor sent an e-mail telling Muslim students to leave the country.

Status: True.

The story begins at Michigan State University with a mechanical engineering professor

Named Indrek Wichman.

http://aolsearch.aolcom/aol/redir?s...w.westernresist

Wichman sent an e-mail to the Muslim Student's Association.

The e-mail was in response to the students' protest of the Danish cartoons

That portrayed the Prophet Muhammad as a terrorist.

The group had complained the cartoons were 'hate speech'

============

Enter Professor Wichman.

==========================================

In his e-mail, he said the following:

===============================

Dear Moslem Association,

As a professor of Mechanical Engineering here at MSU I intend to protest your protest.

I am offended not by cartoons, but by more mundane things like beheadings of civilians,

Cowardly attacks on public buildings, suicide murders, murders of Catholic priests (the latest in Turkey), burnings of Christian churches, the continued persecution of Coptic Christians in Egypt, the imposition of Sharia law on non-Muslims,the rapes of Scandinavian girls and women (called 'whores' in your culture),

the murder of film directors in Holland ,and the rioting and looting in Paris,France .

This is what offends me, a soft-spoken person and academic, and many, many of my colleagues.

I counsel you dissatisfied, aggressive, brutal, and uncivilized slave-trading Moslems to be very

aware of this as you proceed with your infantile 'protests.'

If you do not like the values of the West

- see the 1st Amendment -you are free to leave. I hope for God's sake that most of you

choose that option .

Please return to your ancestral homelands and build them up yourselves instead of troubling Americans.

Cordially,

I. S.. Wichman

Professor of Mechanical Engineering

=============================

As you can imagine,

The Muslim group at the university didn't like this too well.

They're demanding that Wichman be reprimanded and the university impose mandatory

diversity training for faculty

and mandate a seminar on hate and discrimination for all freshmen.

Now the local chapter of CAIR has jumped into the fray ..

CAIR, the Council on American-Islamic Relations, apparently doesn't believe that the good professor

had the right to express his opinion.

==========

For its part, the university is standing its ground in support of Professor Wichman,

Saying the e-mail was private, and they don't intend to publicly condemn his remarks.

============================================================

Send this to your friends, and ask them to do the same.

Tell them to keep passing it around until the whole country gets it..

We are in a war.

This political correctness crap is getting old and killing us...

==================

If you agree with this,

Please send it to all your friends,

If not simply delete it.

There was a lot of formatting, large colored letters, that sort of thing. But this is basically just a slightly edited and propagandized c/p of a snopes article, with the link to the snopes page included. I guess whoever propagates these emails is getting tired of receiving responses in the form of links to snopes and is now simply forwarding snopes pages that happen to be correctly attributed.

Grifter fucked around with this message at 21:10 on Dec 29, 2009

# ¿ Dec 25, 2009 19:57

Grifter: Jul 24, 2003; I do this technique called a suplex. You probably haven't heard of it, it's pretty obscure.

tek79 posted:

For those suggesting Snopes as a good source of debunking (it is), your dumb relatives may not take it so seriously. I have at least 3 that refute anything researched by Snopes, because the founders of Snopes are in fact totally "in the tank" for Obama (i.e. commie sympathizers). Just a heads up. I've received this twice now.

Amusingly, truthorfiction actually has a response to that email. I've never heard of these guys before, but after reading a few of the articles on the site they appear to certainly be right wing but are making an honest attempt to verify the truth of the claims they discuss.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2010 23:28

Grifter: Jul 24, 2003; I do this technique called a suplex. You probably haven't heard of it, it's pretty obscure.

goddamnedtwisto posted:

Of course it's bullshit - not least because the British definitions of Liberal and Conservative (both names of political parties) were very different from how they're used in the US these days... and particularly given that he first entered Parliament as a Conservative aged 26 and swapped to the Liberal party aged 30.

(I've also seen the quote attributed to P.J. O'Rourke which would at least fit with the way his politics changed as he got older (and in his own words the single biggest factor driving him to the Republicans and then the Libertarians was seeing the deductions on his first pay cheque, which is the other real reason people tend to get more right-wing as they get older).

Almost anything funny related to conservatives is attributed to P.J. at some point. The original quote was said by Fran�ois Guizot.

quote:

Guizot is famous as the originator of the quote "Not to be a republican at 20 is proof of want of heart; to be one at 30 is proof of want of head"[1]. This quote has been reworked many times, especially in reference to socialism and liberalism. It has been borrowed by or attributed to many notable figures who lived after Guizot, including Winston Churchill, George Bernard Shaw, Benjamin Disraeli, Georges Clemenceau, Otto von Bismarck, Aristide Briand, Woodrow Wilson, David Lloyd George, Wendell Willkie, William J. Casey, and others.

So next time someone says this, tell them they're quoting a Frenchman

# ¿ Jun 22, 2010 17:23

Grifter: Jul 24, 2003; I do this technique called a suplex. You probably haven't heard of it, it's pretty obscure.

That Hamline piece has been posted before in this thread and it annoys be every time. It's a tiny school in the midwest. I am a graduate of it. That piece is the only reason a lot of people have even heard of the school, and it's both made up and horrible. Great.

UltraPenguinX posted:

Err, I'm no expert on religions, but is there any validity to this? I think that there's some stuff in there about women being inferior to men, but the whole "kill everyone who is not muslim" as their main tenant seems a bit far fetched.

Nope.

# ¿ Jun 29, 2010 21:27

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# ¿ May 6, 2024 01:30

Grifter: Jul 24, 2003; I do this technique called a suplex. You probably haven't heard of it, it's pretty obscure.

crime fighting hog posted:

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

Just reply with this.

# ¿ Aug 2, 2010 18:42

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.