Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

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i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

FW:FW:FW:FW: SCARY!!!

quote:

Contact your Representatives and let them know how you feel about this. We, as a country, cannot afford another 1000 page bill to go through congress without being read. Another 500 pages to go. I have highlighted a few of the items that are downright unconstitutional.

� Page 22: Mandates audits of all employers that self-insure!
� Page 29: Admission: your health care will be rationed!
� Page 30: A government committee will decide what treatments and benefits you get (and, unlike an insurer, there will be no appeals process)
� Page 42: The "Health Choices Commissioner" will decide health benefits for you. You will have no choice. None.
� Page 50: All non-US citizens, illegal or not, will be provided with free healthcare services.
� Page 58: Every person will be issued a National ID Health card.
� Page 59: The federal government will have direct, real-time access to all individual bank accounts for electronic funds transfer.
� Page 65: Taxpayers will subsidize all union retiree and community organizer health plans (read: SEIU, UAW and ACORN)
� Page 72: All private healthcare plans must conform to g overnment rules to participate in a Healthcare Exchange.
� Page 84: All private healthcare plans must participate in the Healthcare Exchange (i.e., total government control of private plans)
� Page 91: Government mandates linguistic infrastructure for services; translation: illegal aliens
� Page 95: The Government will pay ACORN and Americorps to sign up individuals for Government-run Health Care plan.
� Page 102: Those eligible for Medicaid will be automatically enrolled: you have no choice in the matter.
� Page 124: No company can sue the government for pr ice-fixing. No "judicial review" is permitted against the government monopoly. Put simply, private insurers will be crushed.
� Page 127: The AMA sold doctors out: the government will set wages.
� Page 145: An employer MUST auto-enroll employees into the government-run public plan. No alternatives.
� Page 126: Employers MUST pay healthcare bills for part-time employees AND their familie s.
� Page 149: Any employer with a payroll of $400K or more, who does not offer the public option, pays an 8% tax on payroll
� Page 150: Any employer with a payroll of $250K-400K or more, who does not offer the public option, pays a 2 to 6% tax on payroll
� Page 167: Any individual who doesn�t' have acceptable healthcare (according to the government) will be taxed 2.5% of income.
� Page 170: Any NON-RESIDENT alien is exempt from individual taxes (Americans will pay for them).
� Page 195: Officers and employees of Government Healthcare Bureaucracy will have access to ALL American financial and personal records.
� Page 203: "The tax imposed under this section shall not be treated as tax." Yes, it really says that.
� Page 239: Bill will reduce physician services for Medicaid. Seniors and the poor most affected."
� Page 241: Doctors: no matter what specialty you have, you'll all be paid the same (thanks, AMA!)
� Page 253: Government sets value of doctors' time, their professional judgment, etc.
� Page 265: Government mandates and controls productivity for private healthcare industries.
� Page 268: Government regulates rental and purchase of power-driven wheelchairs.
� Page 272: Cancer patients: welcome to the wonderful world of rationing!
� Page 280: Hospitals will be penalized for what the government deems preventable re-admissions.
� Page 298: Doctors: if you treat a patient during an initial admission that results in a readmission, you will be penalized by the government.
� Page 317: Doctors: you are now prohibited for owning and investing in healthcare companies!
� Page 318: Prohibition on hospital expansion. Hospitals cannot expand without government approval.
� Page 321: Hospital expansion hinges on "community" input: in other words, yet another payoff for ACORN.
� Page 335: Government mandates establishment of outcome-based measures: i.e., rationing.
� Page 341: Government has authority to disqualify Medicare Advantage Plans, HMOs, etc.
� Page 354: Government will restrict enrollment of SPECIAL NEEDS individuals..
� Page 379: More bureaucracy: Telehealth Advisory Committee (healthcare by phone).
� Page 425: More bureaucracy: Advance Care Planning Consult: Senior Citizens, assisted suicide, euthanasia?
� Page 425: Government will instruct and consult regarding living wills, durable powers=2 0of attorney, etc. Mandatory. Appears to lock in estate taxes ahead of time.
� Page 425: Government provides approved list of end-of-life resources, guiding you in death.
� Page 427: Government mandates program that orders end-of-life treatment; government dictates how your life ends.
� Page 429: Advance Care Planning Consult will be used to dictate treatment as patient's health deteriorates. This can include an ORDER for end-of-life plans. An ORDER from the GOVERNMENT.
� Page 430: Government will decide what level of treatments you may have at end-of-life.
� Page 469: Community-based Home Medical Services: more payoffs for ACORN.
� Page 472: Payments to Community-based organizations: more payoffs for ACORN.
� Page 489: Government will cover marriage and family therapy. Government intervenes in your marriage.
� Page 494: Government will cover mental health services: defining, creating and rationing those services.

This e-mail has pretty much everything: ACORN, Americorps, death panels, rationing, illegal aliens, and government controlled motorized wheel chairs.

Throw in some gun control and Obama's Islamic upbringing in Kenya and we could rule the world of forwards.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2009 21:56

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 07:24

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

thegreatcodfish posted:

Naet, I got that in an email(not from my pastor, family member) a week or so ago. It's really funny to actually look in the bill to see what they are referencing.

Oh, I know. I sent a reply to the list of people with a link to the actual bill and told them, in a nice way, to not be stupid. In addition, I also stated that the bill is certainly not the ideal solution for healthcare, but that the correct way to make change is to actually fight the tangible problems and not waste time making up utter bullshit like death panels and ACORN conspiracy theories.

Really, there's no logical way that any of these people can argue with my e-mail. I linked the actual bill and not any other website that would immediately be written off as "LIEbiral"; anyone who continues to argue on the side of the FW just proves to me that stupid people are stupid people are stupid people and no amount of actual evidence will ever change their minds.

i am the bird fucked around with this message at 01:40 on Aug 17, 2009

# ¿ Aug 17, 2009 01:38

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

Deuce posted:

What the loving christ. I thought this was a fake one that you wrote up.

I just received this email as a forward.

Didn't you make this up? I thought you made this up! OH GOD ITS STARTING ALREADY

Nope, it's real. I have to give props to the guy who sent it to me though. I sent him a polite reply telling him that the e-mail was full of poo poo and then linked him to the bill. Next time I saw him, he thanked me and said that even though he disagrees with UCH, he's not a fan of the propaganda coming from the right and didn't like how dishonest the e-mail was. I think he was a little taken aback about how many of those bullet points weren't even just misleading misinterpretations but straight up lies with no basis anywhere in the bill.

Of course, his mother then told me that Oregon has socialized medicine and that they're literally letting dumpsters of sick babies die by the hour because the system is out of money and that if the fed was in control of health care, anyone not in the physical shape of an Olympiad would be thrown to a pack of wolves while Obama cackled maniacally.

# ¿ Aug 29, 2009 00:05

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

A friend was showing me an e-mail he got that's been going around apparently. I asked him to forward it to me and I'll post it once I get it.

The basic gist of it is that we should throw away the Constitution and return to the Articles of Confederation because of its excellent "states' rights" and anti-federalism policies. It was pretty loving ludicrous and very easy to see that whoever wrote it has never actually read the Articles of Confederation or put any thought into why a guy like James Madison looked at the Articles and said, "What the gently caress does any of this even mean? We need a constitution!"

# ¿ Sep 23, 2009 16:03

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

Ortsacras posted:

Things I don't understand about conservative "thought" #135: I never understand their problem with toll roads. In theory, those who use them pay for them, and those who don't use them don't have to pay for them. So this tickles their "no taxes" spot. A successfully-planned and placed toll road would therefore make money, while an unnecessary one would fail, which ought to tickle their "free market" hardons.

Shouldn't a free-market conservative not only be in favor of toll roads, but be in favor of making MORE roads operate this way? Or is it just that they're such giant babies that they can't even figure that simple thing out?

That's a rhetorical question, of course.

Anything run by the government is evil unless it directly and negatively impacts brown people; that's the only conclusion I've been able to come to with contradicting conservative beliefs when it comes to socialized programs.

# ¿ Sep 24, 2009 16:21

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

I'm surprised there's no reference to African-American crime rate for a two-fer.

# ¿ Oct 10, 2009 23:21

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

Obama and the current members of congress have been in power for over a hundred years (234 years to be exact!), though! Why aren't we living in a utopia yet?

# ¿ Oct 15, 2009 15:36

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

Should I feel stupid for not understanding what in the gently caress that is supposed to mean?

# ¿ Oct 28, 2009 15:56

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

That Rome e-mail is hilarious. I think my favorite part is about the cripple leading a nation into war.

Also, do fundies realize that the pilgrims weren't the first colonists?

# ¿ Nov 13, 2009 17:39

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

White dudes landed at Jamestown over a decade before the religious-freedom-white-dudes came to Plymouth, though.

# ¿ Nov 13, 2009 17:45

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

I can't believe Obama spent my tax money to redesign the White House to fit his ideal, Islamic architecture.

# ¿ Dec 15, 2009 20:37

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

There's nothing of substance in her words.

Some people voted for Obama simply because he's black; on the other hand, some people voted for McCain or a write-in simply because Obama is black. That argument works for either side.

The rest of it is bullshit political buzzwords that don't address any form of policy. Obama will take away our liberties? How the gently caress do you become a professor and possess a complete lack of shame when it comes to not citing any of your claims?

# ¿ Mar 19, 2010 17:24

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

freebooter posted:

What the hell search engine are you using that takes 5 seconds to bring up a result?

I would tell you, but I'm just heading out the door for a check-up with my doctor who is currently in prison for murder.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2010 14:47

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

Real Americans would've just burned that wood in a giant bonfire while circling around it singing Lee Greenwood.

# ¿ May 8, 2010 20:57

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

The Hitler = Marxist thing should be addressed if only because there are too many stupid people out there who equate Nazis to socialists.

# ¿ May 27, 2010 21:10

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

dja98 posted:

This is usually because the full name of the Nazi party was 'Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei' or 'National Socialist German Workers Party'.

I think the main problem stems from the seemingly widespread, erroneous belief that liberal, socialist and communist are all synonymous and are typified by the McCarthyist view of the USSR.

What they were and what they called themselves are two entirely different beasts. I understand that socialism is -- and has been in the past -- the buzz word for evil, but not being able to differentiate between the evils done in the name of socialism and the evils done in the name of fascism leads to the stupidity found in the many many emails we have here.

# ¿ May 28, 2010 14:03

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

I like how he implies that the United States knew what was going on in the USSR, that we weren't doing anything to stop Japan in Asia (until it was too late!!!), and that the Nazi party was somehow a minority rule.

# ¿ Jun 4, 2010 15:27

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

tek79 posted:

Quite literally, THOUSANDS of people have read this world-wide. We're winning!

"There are dozens of us! Dozens!"

# ¿ Jun 4, 2010 19:11

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

There was a really bad storm in Ohio last week that devastated the area. You know what we're doing? We're gathering a bunch of local people and going to help out. I don't see any Haitians here offering their support. I'm just telling the truth. Forward this on if you agree with the truth.

# ¿ Jun 9, 2010 03:48

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America.

This is the best thing I've read in months.

# ¿ Jun 10, 2010 02:09

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

You could make it simpler than that.

Olivia said, "I will give you tax cuts."

The kids went wild. Jaime was forgotten.

The next day, the kids showed up and the school was closed because there were no funds to support it anymore.

# ¿ Jun 19, 2010 15:59

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

crime fighting hog posted:

The best part is my dad tells me I'll have the same exact views once I get older, how I don't want the goddamn liberals taking my paycheck to give to welfare queens who don't work 2% as hard as I do, etc.

All my friends are also conservative and everyone I know hates Obama. And I live in the most liberal part of my state.

Winston Churchill once allegedly said, "Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains."

It's bullshit, of course, but I've seen it used a lot to marginalize young voters who are "too idealistic."

# ¿ Jun 22, 2010 16:09

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

goddamnedtwisto posted:

Of course it's bullshit - not least because the British definitions of Liberal and Conservative (both names of political parties) were very different from how they're used in the US these days... and particularly given that he first entered Parliament as a Conservative aged 26 and swapped to the Liberal party aged 30.

(I've also seen the quote attributed to P.J. O'Rourke which would at least fit with the way his politics changed as he got older (and in his own words the single biggest factor driving him to the Republicans and then the Libertarians was seeing the deductions on his first pay cheque, which is the other real reason people tend to get more right-wing as they get older).

Winston Churchill is the originator of any and every quasifamous quote. I, uh, read it in an e-mail.

# ¿ Jun 22, 2010 17:47

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

BonoMan posted:

Sup Jon Voight....still crazy?

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2010/jun/22/dear-mr-president-jon-voight/

Ahh..yep.

My favorite part? The random passage where he rails against illegal immigrants in a letter that's otherwise all about Israel.

"Jews are responsible for everything good in this world. Meanwhile, you support those DIRTY MEXICANS who haven't done a goddamned thing.

Yours in Christ,
Jon Voight"

# ¿ Jun 23, 2010 12:29

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

quote:

and a Caucasian wrote it.

I had to reread this part to make sure I hadn't stumbled upon the intro to Bill Cosby's new book!

# ¿ Jun 24, 2010 13:15

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

I like how Christians cherry pick the Koran for infidel bullshit while conveniently ignoring the entirety of the Old Testament where people are murdered left and right in the name of God.

# ¿ Jun 29, 2010 13:57

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

Religion is imperative to understand history, but it's also pretty drat important to understand culture today. I think it's rather stupid that many high schools don't cover religion as much as they should. Instead, we get a bunch of people graduating who only know their own world view (which is likely slanted toward Christianity).

# ¿ Jul 7, 2010 23:51

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

Those are the laziest terrorists I've ever seen.

# ¿ Jul 20, 2010 19:07

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

Dr. Arbitrary posted:

Good question, where was the United States federal government when the Republic of Texas at war with Mexico.

Obama!

# ¿ Jul 28, 2010 13:10

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

My dad's a recovering Republican who actually likes Obama and is able to see how horrible Palin is.

On the flip side, he sees nothing wrong with the Tea Party people, still watches Fox, and thinks Beck is no worse than Olbermann.

On the flippier side, he reads and likes Paul Krugman.

On the flip-flippier side, he thinks ACORN is 100% guilty and once suggested to me that there should be "some kind of test" that people have to pass before they can vote.

We get along swimmingly, though, because we've come to learn when to shut down the political talk.

My brother supports (supported?) Ron Paul and is a "libertarian." We get around this ideological split by making fun of each other in horrible ways.

# ¿ Aug 5, 2010 14:24

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

quote:

America will allow NO imports, and we'll do no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart 's policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.' We'll make it here and sell it here!

But if the U.S. blocked imports, Wal-Mart wouldn't exist...

# ¿ Aug 31, 2010 20:09

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

quote:

Politically, Armand Hammer was a staunch supporter of the Republican party. He boosted Richard Nixon's presidential campaign with $54,000 in campaign contributions. He was convicted on charges that one of these donations had been made illegally, but was later pardoned by Republican U.S. President George H. W. Bush.

Hilarious.

# ¿ Sep 9, 2010 16:10

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

quote:

Peace-loving Muslims have been made irrelevant by their silence.

Peace-loving Muslims will become our enemy if they don't speak up, because like my friend from Germany, they will awaken one day and find that the fanatics own them, and the end of their world will have begun

Using this logic, Jews were the enemy during WW2. Why didn't they just stand up to the Nazis?!

# ¿ Sep 12, 2010 04:00

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

I read the last part of that e-mail as Michael Scott as racist Rodney Dangerfield.

"Hey, I was so depressed last night." <collar tug> "I called the suicide hotline and it asked if I spoke English! I get no respect. I was connected to a hotline in Pakistan. I told them, hey, I'm suicidal here!" <collar tug> "They asked if I could drive a truck. No respect!"

# ¿ Sep 13, 2010 18:56

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

TGLT posted:

Joe gets up at 5 AM. The world explodes. Liberals.

Even simpler:

Joe doesn't get up at 5 a.m. because his LIBERAL mother aborted him.

# ¿ Oct 21, 2010 21:42

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

Things that e-mail has taught me:

Liberals invented democracy.

Conservatives believe in evolution.

# ¿ Oct 24, 2010 15:58

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

Angry Avocado posted:

I don't, but please tell me more.

@Above: Thanks for correcting me.

Southern Democrats refused to work on Civil Rights legislation and actively tried to undermine it in the 1960s. LBJ, however, continued to push for it despite the dilemma within the party. When he signed the Civil Rights Act of 1964, he actually predicted the future of race relations in politics: "I think we just delivered the South to the Republican party for a long time to come." It wasn't just voters that fled from the Democratic party after the legislation; politicians defected as well.

That, in combination with the implosion of the Democrats in '68, led to the Republican rise. They also adopted a Southern Strategy based off this backlash. They knew they'd never be able to get the black vote, so they devised strategies of pandering to the white voters via not-so-subtle race baiting issues.

The strategy has been refined over time. The quoted used most often here is Lee Atwater's statement in 1981:

Atwater posted:

You start out in 1954 by saying, "friend of the family, friend of the family, friend of the family." By 1968 you can't say "friend of the family"�that hurts you. Backfires. So you say stuff like forced busing, states' rights and all that stuff. You're getting so abstract now [that] you're talking about cutting taxes, and all these things you're talking about are totally economic things and a byproduct of them is [that] blacks get hurt worse than whites.

And subconsciously maybe that is part of it. I'm not saying that. But I'm saying that if it is getting that abstract, and that coded, that we are doing away with the racial problem one way or the other. You follow me�because obviously sitting around saying, "We want to cut this," is much more abstract than even the busing thing, and a hell of a lot more abstract than "friend of the family, friend of the family."

# ¿ Oct 25, 2010 21:11

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

No matter how many times I read it, I will always be agitated by the phrase "this is what the Founding Fathers intended." Ignoring the idiocy of lumping them all together as if they all agreed on everything, if they "intended" something they would've loving done it.

# ¿ Nov 4, 2010 06:57

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

Facebook quote time:

guy #1 posted:

My teacher told our class that african americans are unable to reach high positions in this country due to our society. Well may I ask what an african american is doing as our president?

guy #2 posted:

don't you just loving love AFFIRMATIVE ACTION. The whole affirmative action bullshit is actual racist.

guy #3 posted:

Are trees considered high positions

# ¿ Nov 12, 2010 21:46

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 07:24

i am the bird: Mar 2, 2005; I SUPPORT ALL THE PREDATORS

BatteredFeltFedora posted:

It's just another way of saying Lebensraum.

Seriously. I think that's one of the few legitimate Hitler comparisons ever, at least in regards to that particular argument.

"We needed the land, so... genocide. Oh well!"

# ¿ Nov 17, 2010 23:21

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

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