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Soulcleaver
Sep 25, 2007

Murderer
I had a technical writing professor who was tired of seeing students get ripped off, so he had his course require only a single book that he wrote himself and sold at cost (About $10). Loved that guy.

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Soulcleaver
Sep 25, 2007

Murderer

Squidbeak posted:

I've heard if you blowdry onto the sticker for awhile it will come right off, but I've never tried that. Alcohol or mineral oil on a cloth/paper towel/tissue works for me.

Soulcleaver
Sep 25, 2007

Murderer

Facial Fracture posted:

Can the videogame nerdfaces in that "books that define a generation" thread be probated or something?
As an obsessed game player with a video game avatar I have to agree with this. What a pointless debate.

Soulcleaver
Sep 25, 2007

Murderer

appropriatemetaphor posted:

What an idiot, obviously he should have said the video game industry.
Clearly this cretin is unaware of the powerful humanistic themes and gameplay-to-plot parallels in Game of the Decade Braid by Jonathan Blow.

Soulcleaver
Sep 25, 2007

Murderer

Cartoon Man posted:

If you really want see how awful and creepy Piers Anthony is, get Ponucopia for your ebook reader of choice. You don't want to be caught reading it in public...

Its the only book I have perma-deleted from my Kindle account. (To get it back I would have to buy again.)

Aparantly it has a sequel called The Magic Fart. I can't bring myself to buy it.

Piers Anthony posted:

A reader notified me that the Wickpedia site http://en.wikipedia.org/ carries the charge that I endorse or advocate pedophilia and ecoterrorism. I think this is an example of a person showing more of what's on his mind than what's in my writing. The fact that I may address controversial subjects in my fiction, and have my characters participate in them, does not mean that this is my personal philosophy. Otherwise I would believe in magic, because there is magic in Xanth; be a murderer because murders sometimes occur in my fiction; and be a rapist or pedophile because my novel Firefly addresses those subjects. I did a long interview for Jitterbug Fantasia https://www.jitterbug.com where such questions are addressed, coincidentally. I trust that readers who are conversant with my books and with this column will understand what I actually write, instead of what some anonymous critic wants to claim I write. I defend anonymity, and protect it in my ongoing survey of electronic publishers so that whistle blowers can't be retaliated against. But anonymity also serves to hide those who may have private agendas or confusions that don't relate to the truth, as was the case recently in that same survey. My critics have in the past tended to avoid facing me directly, because I don't suffer rascals gladly, and am not afraid to air their charges in a public forum such as this one. I mention once again the charge that I was being an ogre in fan conventions, spread before I ever attended a convention, and the charge that I wrote to Jerry Pournelle and called him a Nazi, but of course he never produced the letter, because it didn't exist. (Actually, in both cases they are thinking of Keith Laumer, who was one mean man after his stroke. He lived about 40 miles from me.) Less egregious instances apply to persistent rumors of my death (perhaps a confusion with Poul Anderson); every so often I have to assure a reader that I remain alive and ornery, despite the evident preference of some critics. Really, do you think that anyone else could mouth off the way I do in these columns?
:words:
:pedo:

Soulcleaver
Sep 25, 2007

Murderer

LooseChanj posted:

I've convinced myself that next month's book needs to be truly awful so I'm looking through the worst book ever and books you couldn't finish thread. You are warned.
My nomination? Brad Thor's "Blowback."

Now, most people may not consider Brad Thor "fantasy." But any novel written during the George W. Bush administration that contains these elements is clearly fantasy:

1. A top military/intelligence agent ("Scott Harvath") who is "framed" by Al Jazeera beating up a civilian

2. Who the strong, resolute president wants to forgive because he knows he's really a good person, but

3. Is hounded out of office by an evil, ambitious, America-hating and, as I recall, secretly lesbian senator who might as well be named Millary Mlinton. (I think her initials are actually H.R.C. in the book). She gets hers in the end, of course, because Havrath thwarts her ambition of running for President, which she wants to do because she Hates Freedom, basically.

4. The agent being brought back in, secretly, by the Hero-President, to investigate their top-secret knowledge about weapons of mass destruction in the Middle East that they can't prove they know about for policy reasons,

5. Assisted by an incredibly hot schoolteacher who of course comes with him on a covert mission (a school teacher is of course the most educated person who might still be a Real American),

6. The mission being to thwart that favorite Jack Bauer fantasy, an imminent attack on the United States that can only be thwarted by shredding the Constitution and using it for toilet paper.

But it gets better...the evil villain trying to destroy the world using the WMDs is...the Ottoman Empire, for which al-Qaeda and Iraq are both secretly working. Who has acquired a bioweapon developed by Hannibal. (Yes, that Hannibal).

Now, this is all clearly happening in an alternate universe at least as creative as anything Robert Jordan could dream up. But there's also magic!

You see, Thor makes is embarassingly clear that he doesn't actually know what a biological weapon is or what the difference is between biological or chemical weapons. Which is especially worrying since he claims to have worked as an intelligence agent for Homeland Security.

No; the magical substance Hannibal developed with his advanced WMD skills in fact has been genetically engineered so that anyone exposed to it has their brains leak out of their nose and dies...unless they're a muslim.

That's right. It's a magical "bio" weapon that kills everyone but muslims...and the only way it can be stopped is by defeating Hillary Clinton and torturing muslims!

Throughout the book, the protagonist also makes it clear that he not only loves hurting and killing people, but that he hates pretty much anyone who's not American. The book actually contains, non-ironically, a statement along the lines of "Not all Muslims are terrorists, but without exception every single terrorist is Muslim." (Because Homeland Security has apparently never been to Oklahoma City). And that's just the tip of the racist iceberg here.

So we have a book set in an alternate world, where a hero must go on a quest to stop a magical weapon from giving the evil Ottoman empire from destroying the world. That's what makes it a fantasy novel.

And the hero is a violent, racist right-wing thug while the villain is a thinly disguised Hillary Clinton, in a political hack job so one-sided it would make Leni Riefenstahl blush. I could practically hear the awful flopping sound of Dick Cheney masturbating as I read it. That's what makes it the worst fantasy novel I've ever read.

Soulcleaver
Sep 25, 2007

Murderer

mcustic posted:

Why was the J-F Bibeau thread gassed?
It probably should have been moved to a different subforum but it was definitely a blast to read and participate.

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Soulcleaver
Sep 25, 2007

Murderer

fuf posted:

Is there a poetry thread?
There have been a few attempts, but they never get enough posts to stick around. You have to go back to September to see any poetry threads.

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