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Handsome Ralph posted:-At one point, a co-worker who I think is a contractor, and clearly didn't give a gently caress, asked him what he meant by serendipitous, because English wasn't his first language. The exchange, This guy rules.
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Feb 9, 2019 05:07
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Yawgmoth posted:
Only if he wasn't planning to weaken the organization for takeover by the next place he moves to after the dust settles here.
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Feb 12, 2019 20:02
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Trabant posted:Chuck Tingle's "Squeezed on My Shoulder by My Coworker's Hand" sounding kinda tame. Pounded in My Shoulder By My Friendly Colleague
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Feb 19, 2019 05:26
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Volmarias posted:But if you grow fast enough to get a ton of investment as a result of breaking the law, and your new parent company can just pay the fine for you, it's very profitable to break the law. Strategic violation, the best kind of white collar crime.
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Mar 2, 2019 19:13
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Democratic Pirate posted:I would say it’s nice of HR’s management to give all the employees 4-5 hour days, but I also know the VP would 100% implement a policy to monitor employee workstations to see if everyone is logged on and active at home. Time for the busy beaver script to make a reappearance!
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Mar 6, 2019 18:12
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Jordan7hm posted:Yeah I realized later than my wording was confusing. Rockstars are good. Allstars are chair fillers. Some fairly localized slang. That is bespoke artisanal vernacular.
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Mar 15, 2019 02:17
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MightyJoe36 posted:I'll take sports terms any day over fad business jargon like "drinking the kool aid" and "eat our own dog food." That first one being frequently used as a positive always bothers me.
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Mar 18, 2019 13:01
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Tnuctip posted:Hes going to be designing spaceships, and i design (for manufacturing) things that get buried in the dirt. To be fair a lot of NASA stuff ends up buried in dirt. Sometimes even by design!
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Mar 20, 2019 01:37
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Betazoid posted:If anyone can tell me how to view my own post history on the SA app, I'd appreciate it. I can't find my old posts, so... On iOS, click your user name at the top of one of your own posts and choose Your Posts. On Android, click the three dots on the far right of your user name and avatar at the top of one of your own posts and choose View Betazoid's Posts from the menu.
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Mar 21, 2019 04:58
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Sundae posted:After 14 hours in the air, 12.5 hours of time zones and crossing the international date line, I've arrived back in the states 2.5 hours after I departed, on the same day. Going to work on Monday is gonna loving kill me. Power through the rest of today and go to bed a little early. Sleeping immediately on arrival makes it harder for me to adjust.
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Mar 23, 2019 21:35
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dxt posted:I've had recruiters texting me lately. Usually it's just a call/voicemail/email that I ignore, this is a new way for them to annoy me. goatse them and they’ll move on
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Mar 27, 2019 19:26
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“Taking ownership” basically means “getting owned” in the infosec connotation.
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Mar 28, 2019 00:51
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FAUXTON posted:tired: your transaction monitoring and recordkeeping system working normally EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A LOGFILE INTO THE NETWORK. IT’S YESTERDAY'S ACH TRANSACTIONS AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN BANK HSBC. I LOOK AT EVERY TRANSFER AND I LOOK AT EVERY TRANSFER HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN SOME RTGS PAYMENTS OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP RECIPIENT ACCOUNTS. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY LAUNDERED THE WORLDS MOST DANGEROUS CASH. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY AML COMPLIANCE DIVISION AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN THE DEPARTMENT OF COMMERCE CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JEKRS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE SWIFT CODES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNIng
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Mar 28, 2019 02:53
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Keetron posted:The results are in, my colleagues think that the person who set a bowl of candy like this in the break room should be killed. This is broadly similar to what happened with me. I doubled up with the donut box veggie tray in the morning and brought out the candy in the afternoon. There were angry notes left on both.
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Apr 1, 2019 20:47
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BigDave posted:I see your Who Moved my Cheese and raise you Rich Dad, Poor Dad. Re-raise with How to Win Friends and Influence People.
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Apr 2, 2019 00:07
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BigDave posted:Hey, don't drag Dale Carnage into this, his book really helped me! I believe Dale Carnage was the author of How to Influence People Without Winning Friends. 
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Apr 2, 2019 01:11
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Tibalt posted:The representative from my (former) team, who is Jewish and doesn't work in Quality Department, was so incensed that he requested that his name be removed from the Task Force membership and not mentioned in any way related to this. I wish I could Alan Smithee poo poo like that. Thomamelas posted:I did a training class at a location where the receptionist refused to let me do that. And sent out an email stating that the food was only for the students despite me not giving a gently caress after the students had eaten. I don't understand how she wasn't murdered by her coworkers. And it was some really nice BBQ. It’s so she can take it home.
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Apr 12, 2019 20:34
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Uterine Lineup posted:https://twitter.com/broderick/status/1116720342590947330 We all know employee surveys are bullshit, here’s how to find out what your employees really think while fostering paranoia. A setup like that has to be really fun when tax time rolls around.
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Apr 14, 2019 00:30
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Lockback posted:Eh, I've been in similar situations where basically you can only offer up to $XYZ unless you go to your VP and get an exemption, but you know you're going to be grilled for that and you really only have the political capital to do that once or twice a year, max. Past a certain point of fuckery bureaucracy becomes malice.
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Apr 20, 2019 01:54
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Sydin posted:As long as it's locked that's about as much as I reasonably hope for. When I give security training my advice for writing down/printing passwords is the following: Copying keys from a photo is a known technology so yeah, that’s also a terrible idea.
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Apr 26, 2019 01:50
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Tnuctip posted:Was invited to a strip club by a female colleague, shes going because its one of her guy friends birthday. Nothing good can come of this.
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Apr 26, 2019 19:18
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Sundae posted:I don't know about the teaching part, but yeah it was STAR MAN. He posts in the retail thread so teaching may not have happened. 
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Apr 30, 2019 01:14
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The last sentence is the only thing that matters in that article.
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May 4, 2019 18:21
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 if you take anything to the office that you’d mind watching your employer set on fire.
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May 6, 2019 00:36
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Magic City Monday posted:They have a desk with storage space/closets in their two person office and it's a common kitchen with general use plates, silverware, cups/glasses, etc. Just estimate, how many scrota do you think have been wiped on that mug since the flyer went up?
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May 15, 2019 19:32
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Omne posted:Well I had a new one this week. I’ve seen people get fired for all sorts of reasons. Performance, harassment, theft, embezzlement, ghosting, drugs, etc. But we had a guy get let go for...human trafficking He can probably contest that. It’s likely not against company policies and most companies’ personnel handling are indistinguishable from a pimp/prostitute relationship anyway.
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May 18, 2019 16:53
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Omne posted:It's Florida, you can be fired for anything at any time pretty much. And apparently paying someone to have sex with a 15 year old prisoner is one of those times 
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May 21, 2019 02:29
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Ossipago posted:What exactly is a man camp? I've only ever heard it with regards to fracking operations. 
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May 21, 2019 06:19
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paragon1 posted:I change the window view to be upside down. And then I lock it. Take screen shot Set as desktop background Profit from your investments in laugh futures
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May 22, 2019 00:45
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Tibalt posted:I feel like that's the only real way to handle it. You want to bitch about PTO? Sure, but it's going to be publicly announced and going to take up people's time, and everyone knows it's not as anonymous as it looks. I’ve been subject to enough hostile disaggregation attempts that I lie on my demographics and put my text box answers through google translate to French and back to English before submitting them.
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May 30, 2019 21:39
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From the idiots thread in gip but good here: https://m.imgur.com/GbN84dZ
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Jun 3, 2019 01:41
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The Pinkies offer a service where one of their guys will pose as a new hire for your company, going through all the onboarding with their cohort, and report on the sentiments of the workers while they work at your company. It’s some seriously hosed poo poo.
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Jun 13, 2019 01:13
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Motronic posted:Do you have money that you are willing to give them? You have to be willing to give them more money than the company you’re trying to spy on is currently giving them in this case.
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Jun 13, 2019 03:42
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Val Helmethead posted:Introduce your coworkers / friends / family to Diplomacy (or Twilight Imperium). Die alone and unloved (you backstabbing bastard!) Cosmic Encounter also good. Supremacy plays like nuclear Risk Monopoly and can be fun with the right crowd plus the 80s version has a bitchin logo.
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Jun 15, 2019 02:49
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Ashcans posted:If you can identify Pikachu, it sounds like your shredding isn't being done very well! I think the way that works is you have the shred bin at the office which Iron Mountain or whoever picks up and shreds once a week, this is just looking in the bin before it gets picked up.
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Jun 25, 2019 22:42
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taqueso posted:Sounds like an invasion of privacy or something, things were put in the bin with the expectation that it would be destroyed. Somewhere in the terms of employment you will find some words to the effect of “lol to that.” I don’t know of any employer where there’s any expectation of privacy anywhere, let alone the trash can.
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Jun 25, 2019 23:03
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This seems to be where a lot of senior leaders get their values, maybe there’s something there to help you too.
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Jul 10, 2019 23:03
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Ashcans posted:Well that's a great question, and I'm glad you asked me because let me tell you, this is the kind of question that doesn't have a turnkey solution, and that challenge is in my wheelhouse. I know you're probably expecting that we'll get down to brass tacks with that dollar figure, but before we can roll our sleeves up and hit the ground running, I think we really need to drill down into our variables here. If we spend the bandwidth on mapping this out, I know we'll save time than if we aim for the quick win and end up struggling on deliverables and have to circle back later. Now you said 'flowers'; let's just peel back that onion. That's roses, sure, that's carnations, ok, lilies, irises, poppies. Sure, no problem, but did you know that broccoli is a flower? So is cabbage. And if you bought a flower in a pot, well, that's really a whole plant. So we need to ask, what is the flower paradigm we're using here? We could do a deep dive on this thought process, but I think we can be much more agile by crowdsourcing this answer. Let's set up a working group to aggregate that information, connect with some external stakeholders and key opinion leaders in the area, and once they've got this nailed down we can touch basis on the next steps. Next on our roadmap, we can tackle 'spent', 'average', 'day' and 'New York City', and once we have those ducks in a row, think we'll really be getting our arms round this. Now I'm going to be out of pocket for a couple days, but I don't want to lose traction after we've put a stake in the ground on this, so let's get something on the calendar for, oh, Monday work for you? Great!  Sundae posted:"Of course our ducks are in a row. It's just that they're waddling through a labyrinth." 
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Jul 13, 2019 02:11
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Sydin posted:At least you guys get free pizza, even if it's poo poo. We have to be so stingy with ~the taxpayer dollar~ that we have to pass around a collection tin to buy dish soap for our break area sink. Same. Fedland is a barren place.
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Jul 19, 2019 01:08
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FrozenVent posted:Resistance is futile. YOUR rear end WILL BE LAMINATED
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Jul 20, 2019 01:51
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