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Renegret posted:My wife just got a resume submitted. It's a cell phone picture of a paper resume, top down perspective on a glass table. You can see their bare feet through the table. This is in the top 5 funniest things I've read this year
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Jul 12, 2022 00:00
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I have an acquaintance who always texts me to expect reference calls whenever he applies for a new job and I have never had anyone call me
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Jul 12, 2022 15:47
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I think the popular nu metal band Mudvayne was from Peoria
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Sep 24, 2022 22:32
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Renegret posted:I have 2-4 hours of meetings per week and by the halfway point I want to die. Two weeks ago I straight up fell asleep in the middle of one. I read stuff on my phone or play phone games or look at another monitor and read forums
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Oct 4, 2022 22:50
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I absolutely hate that the cultural norm in the corp world is for people to talk to your manager instead of you when they have a problem. It's the most schoolyard run-and-tell-teacher poo poo for cowards I'm the easiest person in the world to talk to and if you have a problem with the way I'm doing something I'll be happy to hash it out 1 on 1 like an adult And it also sucks for managers because they have no idea what the hell is actually going on and can't really take a side. All they can do is pass on the feedback. I always tell people to talk to me if something comes up and sometimes it works but there are some people in this world who just can't handle any kind of uncomfortable 1 on 1 conversation and have to have someone else do it for them Ugh
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Oct 5, 2022 16:30
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Dik Hz posted:It isn’t the norm though, you just have poo poo managers. If the first words out of the manager’s mouth aren’t “have you talked to Elephant Ambush about this?”, your manager is poo poo. Unfortunately most are. This is a good point too. I hope I'm never a manager but if I ever am that's how I'd handle it
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Oct 5, 2022 18:14
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Jumpsuit posted:I just staggered out of two days of SAFe training and I'm more convinced than ever that the whole thing is pulled from the CIA sabotage field manual I've been an agile coach for about 10 years and I absolutely hate SAFe. It's a low-risk low-change product created to sell to executives and to sell training courses and certifications so that those executives can say "we're agile now" without actually being agile. Nobody who is looked up to in the industry endorses it
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Oct 12, 2022 17:00
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I know it's been complained about a lot itt but I really hate it when nobody adds agendas to their meetings I always add an agenda even if it's just a couple short bullet points Why the gently caress am I being invited to a meeting where I don't recognize the subject or most of the other people invited. At least tell me what the hell you're going to talk about
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Oct 12, 2022 18:30
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therobit posted:LMAO if you pay attention at meetings
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Oct 12, 2022 19:18
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theHUNGERian posted:Should we have a pre-meeting alignment? Yes. Please include me. I need to update the slide deck for senior management
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Oct 14, 2022 15:26
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KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:If you have background nose please put yourself on mute I'm so glad that they added featured to Zoom and Teams to bring up the list of everyone on a call so you can see who is making all the noise and just mute them yourself
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Oct 14, 2022 15:57
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Trabant posted:That's alright, we already assigned all the action items to you! This is the most cringe boomer poo poo and I hate it so much
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Oct 14, 2022 17:27
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Renegret posted:what if I fantasize about having no job 
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Feb 8, 2023 18:45
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Sundae posted:New pet peeve with e-mails I didn't know I had: People who write "To Whom It May Concern" and then only send the message to one person. Just be honest and open with "Hey rear end in a top hat," or something next time. Nah it's all the other stupid bullshit made up by executives. Tax credits for building occupancy, "face time is important", etc. I'm really lucky that my current job only requires me to be in the office a couple days a week for a few hours a day and the drive is only 30 minutes either way There are definitely times when I've had actually useful and productive face to face conversations and meetings with people on my team but there is no good reason at all for a mandate that everyone be in the office 8 hours every day
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Oct 18, 2023 20:20
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So I had to change my network password yesterday and the increasingly annoying password requirements are starting to get to the point where they're actually pissing me off. I have no problem with the usual requirements of a lowercase letter, uppercase letter, a number, and a special character, but now they increased the minimum number of characters to FIFTEEN gently caress off with that poo poo
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Feb 21, 2024 18:04
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priznat posted:I like when they only tell you the password requirements after your initial try entering the same password twice. That's another thing. I tried changing my password through the windows ctrl alt del screen, tried a few different passwords, and was told none of them met the minimum requirements. After talking to IT it turns out that I had to go to a separate internal website to change my password and that's where I finally saw the new requirements, and the only reason all the other passwords I tried didn't work was because of the 15 character minimum I'm all for security especially since I work for a large finance company but holy loving poo poo, people need to stop being so loving dumb with passwords that IT has to keep increasing all the bullshit minimum requirements so that people stop trying to use password123456 or whatever
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Feb 21, 2024 18:54
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Good-Natured Filth posted:I had a meeting this afternoon where the VP started off by talking about a recent vacation he took, and how it's great to relax and enjoy yourself. Then, encouraged everyone to take the opportunity whenever possible to take vacations for themselves. During the early part of the pandemic when a lot of people were still really scared and uncertain and we had all been wfh for while, there was some kind of bullshit town hall or something (at my previous company) where one of the high level managers or execs or whatever started out by talking about how he's very happy to be working from the new lake house he just bought, and how his housewarming gift to himself was a WW2 era Japanese katana and showed it hanging over his fireplace Then, instead of trying to help regular workers feel better by congratulating them for all the work they've been doing in uncertain times, he proceeded to thank all the other managers on the call for their leadership during these rough and uncertain times These loving people are the god drat worst and I'm extremely glad I left that shithole for a ton of reasons
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Feb 21, 2024 20:26
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The only Jeff I know is cool as hell but we don't work together. He's a project manager at another company 
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Feb 23, 2024 17:06
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SpartanIvy posted:A meeting host stopped talking when I flushed the toilet and i nearly had a heart attack before I verified I was indeed muted. This is my #1 work/meeting anxiety. I constantly have to check if I'm on mute or not during meetings after I belch or fart something
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Feb 26, 2024 22:53
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I hate PowerPoint and wish it had never existed
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Feb 26, 2024 23:32
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knox_harrington posted:I bet you're one of the people who presents off a Word document. Ugh Has it occurred to you that it's possible to convey information to people without annoying distractions designed to make it look like you're smarter than you are?
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Feb 27, 2024 00:05
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knox_harrington posted:Lol so you are. Lmao What is wrong with you? If I'm in person and need a visual aid I'll draw on a dry erase board. If I'm in a virtual meeting and I need to draw something I'll use a tool like Miro or if that's not available I'll use MS Paint Why are goons like this? "Don't body shame" "You must be fat!  "
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Feb 27, 2024 01:39
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SpartanIvy posted:Work-wife wake up, a new KRAZAM just dropped lmao
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Feb 28, 2024 06:16
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I'm super lucky that my "new" job (started last July) is only a 30 minute commute by car. In the Chicago area 30 minutes is an amazing commute. And I only have to be in the office a couple days a week and I don't even have to be there for 8 hours. Just go in, go to some in person meetings, do your stuff, then go home and work the rest of the day from there Looking back at The Before Times it's absolutely ridiculous how office workers were just expected to always be in office even if there wasn't a good reason for it
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Mar 5, 2024 17:49
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Cacafuego posted:I’ll never understand why people have children. DINKWAD supremacy! What does the WAD stand for?
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Mar 5, 2024 19:35
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My to do list is just an excel sheet lol
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Mar 19, 2024 15:19
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Cael posted:Also lol at him thinking “oh just turn the camera on, so simple” as if people don’t have multiple barriers physically blocking the actual lens. The laptops at my current company have sliding camera blockers built into them. Not being able to physically block your camera is a security risk and I'm glad that my company understands that
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Mar 22, 2024 17:02
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We got forced to upgrade to New Teams over the weekend Somehow it sucks even worse than the previous version I hate Microsoft and their lovely monopoly so much
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Apr 15, 2024 14:32
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KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:yeah new teams is better the only issue is that our genius IT people have both new and old teams installed at the same time? so you never know what you're gonna get! We have this too. They didn't bother removing the old version
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Apr 15, 2024 16:56
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Looking at Gantt charts causes me physical and psychological pain
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Apr 18, 2024 17:40
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There's a guy in this meeting whose natural voice sounds like someone running their voice through a modulator and slowed down and dropped an octave like in 80s movies
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Apr 18, 2024 17:43
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I have never listened to a recording of a meeting so I'm good there
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Apr 18, 2024 17:52
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Fil5000 posted:On the one hand it's nice that anyone in a corporation cares about anything beyond the current quarter. On the other hand, Q6?! It's a stupid long term planning thing in some companies to try to guess what will be done 6 quarters from now. Yes that's as stupid as it sounds and yes it's a waste of time thinking about it
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Apr 19, 2024 15:24
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I work for a large financial company. Gantt charts here are nightmarish and they're never ever right and we have a whole group of people who we pay 6 figures to spend their week badgering everyone for updated dates and updating the charts and then repeating the process To make things worse we also have almost every software team highly specialized to do exactly one thing each so there are a zillion dependencies to keep track of Nobody seems to want to fix or even improve this system at a high level because "we just have to get stuff done". gently caress you. Stop over committing to too much work and give us all some breathing room to make our system better. Clowns
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Apr 19, 2024 15:41
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Lockback posted:Kevin Mitnick's biggest scam was getting people to pay him to lazily and hazily explain bog standard security attacks that are 20 years old in compliance videos. No more Free Kevin
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May 1, 2024 20:23
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Nah. Social engineering has always been the most effective way of gaining access to secure places and computer systems
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May 1, 2024 20:59
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The corporate world is so much like kindergarten most of the time. So many people can't follow basic instructions, don't pay attention to anything, have to have everything spoon fed to them, and don't seem to be able to function beyond the bare minimum Everything is targeted at the lowest common denominator and you're not allowed to say anything about people who suck at their jobs (or simply don't do their job) without heavily couching it in the safest most indirect corporate buzzword language I really like my job and the people I work with so I'm lucky, but anything that I'm required to go to outside of my organization seriously feels like I'm in another world inhabited entirely by grown adult babies At least they pay me what I'm worth
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May 7, 2024 19:43
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I really hate being nagged about employee surveys. I fill them out but I also make sure to complain to my manager about them and tell him that nothing I put in there is going to happen so they're basically useless I seriously have no idea why companies even bother
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May 9, 2024 15:26
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Every time I read this thread it makes me really happy that I don't have to deal with some of the really awful stupid poo poo that some of you have to put up with The people I work with are generally fine if a little inexperienced and my manager is cool as gently caress. All my biggest problems come from upper management outside my organization and either fortunately or unfortunately I don't have access to talk to those people directly I'm lucky to have a +2 and a +3 who actually give a poo poo about making things better and trying to influence the overall system for the better but everything in the corporate world moves like molasses and that's probably my overall biggest frustration My heart genuinely goes out to all of you who have to deal with trash coworkers and managers
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May 16, 2024 14:31
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| # ¿ May 22, 2024 18:34 |
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TIL that you're no longer allowed to say that a team is fudging their numbers. The new corporate drone speak for that is "we have to examine their practices" You simply can't just be direct and honest about what is obviously happening right in front of everyone's face anymore and everyone is a huge baby about being called out for doing stuff that they obviously shouldn't be doing Like, we're willing to work with you and help you out. We're not saying you all suck. But you're clearly focused on trying to make management happy instead of actually trying to get better as a team
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May 17, 2024 16:42
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