Corporate Megathread: I sigh as I unfold a printout of my posts

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Corporate Megathread: I sigh as I unfold a printout of my posts

Orgophlax: Aug 26, 2002

The thing that boggles my mind about big corporations is how really high upper management (like CEO, VP of specific departments, etc) are treated as celebrities within the company.

I worked for T-Mobile for a time and the VP of customer service at the time decided to come visit our call center. She was treated like royalty to the point that when she was introduced for her speech to everyone, most people clapped. That makes absolutely no sense to me.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2010 14:33

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# ¿ May 3, 2024 09:16

Orgophlax: Aug 26, 2002

Dick Trauma posted:

If I start posting in this thread I will never stop. I've been stuck in the corporate world for over fifteen years now and for the most part it's been just like Office Space. Without Jennifer Aniston. Or buddies. Or the funny neighbor. Or a happy ending.

I've been reading the "A Ticket Came In" thread in SH/SC and the tales of your super are hilarious.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2010 14:50

Orgophlax: Aug 26, 2002

The worst part about a corporate office is when you realize how much like high school it really is and how people don't really grow up.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2010 15:42

Orgophlax: Aug 26, 2002

Sundae posted:

I work in a very strange office environment.

Here I am right now, at my computer, gray cube walls and no windows even if I did get up and look over the walls. It is very office-like. I will likely have to write a memo today, and I will definitely have to update project timelines. I have attended three meetings today already, and it isn't even noon yet. I have just finished producing powerpoint slides for someone else's presentation.

To my co-workers, this is work. This is important stuff.

I am a scientist. When I am not stuck attending meetings where nothing useful happens, I abandon my cubicle, turn left and go through the decontamination room into my laboratory. I shut the door, put on headphones, and I do mad loving awesome poo poo.

This awesome poo poo is apparently completely unimportant, and needs to be interrupted about four times a day so that I can go to meetings, sit there for 1-2 hours per meeting, and spend about two minutes explaining that I have nothing new to show them because I've had to spend 4-6 hours per day in meetings for the last six months. Every hour I spend stuck with people wearing suits is an hour I'm not spending with people wearing lab-coats.

How the gently caress am I supposed to get anything done like that?

Bring a beaker in with you next time that has some sort of delayed reaction in the solution (but harmless), so that when it starts bubbling you can say, "poo poo, I need to get back to the lab" and run out.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2010 16:24

Orgophlax: Aug 26, 2002

Sundae posted:

Funny that you mention this. One of the cost-cutting measures here last year was the elimination of all first aid kits in the laboratories and in their associated buildings.

That's right. To try to cut costs... they removed the only things we have for quick and easy injury maintenance in the laboratories. I work with fairly heavy machinery by lab standards, and it would be possible to lose a hand in an equipment malfunction. They have removed the tourniquets to save... oh... $5.00? That's apparently how much an employee's life is worth, given my building is cut off from road access, preventing any emergency services from getting here either.

Apparently this is legal, too. All they have to do is supply eye washes and an overhead shower. I was surprised when I looked that up.

Are you in the US? Cause there's got to be some sort of OSHA regulation against that.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2010 19:49

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# ¿ May 3, 2024 09:16

Orgophlax: Aug 26, 2002

CaptainVideo posted:

I worked in a place one time with a policy that said if you clocked in late - even by one second, you'd be docked half a day's pay. I pulled my supervisor aside and told him that if I saw I was ever going to clock in at 7:00:01, I was going to turn around and go back home and show back up after lunch when I would get paid. There's no way in hell I was going to work for free for half a day.

My dad worked in a place that actually made their people clock in and out of the bathroom. HR would review the bathroom logs every month, too, and let you know if you spent too much company time in the crapper.

I used to love these exchanges, too:
HR: Your start time is at 8:00AM
Me: Cool
HR: We'd like you to be here by 7:45, though.
Me: Oh, so I start at 7:45 then?
HR: No, you start at 8:00, you just need to be here, clocked in, and at your desk working by 7:45
Me: But if I start at 8:00, why do I need to be here working by 7:45. That would mean I start at 7:45.
HR: No you start at 8:00, just be here by 7:45.
Me: Let's just say I'm at my desk working by 7:55.
HR: Oh, no. You'd get written up for that.
Me: For what? If I start at 8:00, I should be here by 8:00. If I start at 7:45, then I should be here by 7:45, right?
HR: You're not understanding. You start at 8:00, we just expect you to be here, clocked in, and working by 7:45.
Me: So I really start at 7:45 then.
HR: No, you start at 8:00
Me: *sigh*

I don't know the specifics, but a few years back a bunch of ex/employees sued T-Mobile because they were expected to be logged in early so that they could read their email and such before logging into the phones at their exact start time. They won a good chunk of compensation and now T-Mobile call centers have a 7 minute window from your start time till when you start taking calls.

# ¿ Apr 27, 2010 20:45

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Corporate Megathread: I sigh as I unfold a printout of my posts