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Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

2508084 posted:

Seems to imply I should have had my wages in full when they let me go on Wednesday. They had a letter typed up with my name and everything on it so its not like they were caught by surprise that they were firing me.

I called HR lady and left a voicemail at 2:30 and she still hasn't called me back. I'm calling one more time and then, if she doesnt pick up, I'm just going down there tomorrow like I planned to anyways.

Showing up in person isn't going to make them write you a check. I would call/email that you'll immediately file a wage claim with the Division of Labor Standards Enforcement, and particularly cite that section you found.

http://www.dir.ca.gov/dlse/HowToFileWageClaim.htm

This claim would have to be an enormous pain in the rear end for an employer to deal with, especially for a government agency. That should put a bit more fear of god into them, compared to your showing up.

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Devor
Nov 30, 2004
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ibntumart posted:

If you were fired, your employer should have had your check ready for you that day. Keep a record of when you were terminated and how long it's been without that last paycheck. You can file a claim with the DLSE. You're entitled to waiting time penalty equal to a day's wage for every day you until you get the paycheck (up to 30 days).

This is all assuming there's not some special immunity for this being a federal employer, but a call to the DLSE should answer that question.

Haha, poo poo, I changed my mind. If you can verify that those are the statutory damages, I would let it sit for like 3 weeks before pressing the issue. Unless you really need the paycheck right away - then just mentioning the statutory damages should really help speed things along.

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

Sundae posted:

The best is when someone calls you out on not following a best practice that you wrote.

No, I'm 100% certain that what I did does indeed meet the intent of section 8.1. I wrote the loving section.

Don't quote me regulations! I co-chaired the committee that reviewed the recommendation to revise the color of the book that regulation's in.

[hardens his tone]

We kept it gray.

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

Keetron posted:

With the end of the year here, many client projects are ending or have ended. This means low billability percentages and the management policy that comes with this. Last week, a message was send out for people to take mandatory leave if they are benched. If you do not have enough leave accumulated/left, it will be a loss of pay.
My response was that this is in no way legal and that if I wanted to be treated as a temp or a contractor, I should be payed as one.
It appears this was the general response across the board and the policy kind of fizzled out. But the message is clear and my CV is polished. Let's keep a good eye out for great opportunities which no doubt will come in the new year.

This may vary by state, but generally speaking what you described is not illegal. Without an explicit contract, your employer can tell you not to come into work - and not pay you for days you didn't work, whether you are salaried or hourly. The exception is that you cannot be docked a partial day's pay if you are salaried. So if you work 2 hours on Monday, then get ordered home, you would be paid for the full day, or be required to use vacation/leave to make up the difference.

You would have a bit of an argument if there was no written policy about being forced to use vacation days. But the company could simply say "You are ordered not to come in between Dec 9-13, and they will not be paid unless you use vacation/leave".

Again, this can potentially vary by state, and obviously it is still a very lovely thing for the company to do, and kills morale. And your company would probably want this to come through HR / proper channels. But it's probably legal.

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.
If there's an employee manual, that would be something to look at. It would let you know if the other office workers are getting the benefit when it's against the handbook, or if you should be getting the benefit. Or maybe there's something weird to explain why they get it and you don't.

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
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Shear Modulus posted:

This is a worker motivation strategy I could get behind. Managers in Washington and Colorado, I hope you're paying attention (that's legal there right?).

I thought you were quoting the bee idea for motivation.

INCREASE GROSS RECEIPTS BY FIVE PERCENT, OR WE RELEASE THE BEES

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
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sbaldrick posted:

Your Master Vendor list should only have people on it that can come through in a timely manner when you order from them. Anything more then a week is useless.

Result: The company is no longer permitted to acquire items internally

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

Miss-Bomarc posted:

bubububububu what if there's some weird computer hacker bug that makes the maths go wrong if you type in specific combinations of numberrrrrrrrs :derp:

There was a problem with Xerox scanners a while back where they would straight up transpose numbers within a document. The algorithm would try to be cute about re-using repeated images, so it would find once instance of, say, "68" and then use that one image to replace each spot it was used. Except sometimes it used the "68" image where it was actually an "88" in the original, for example. So you could Print -> Scan -> Print and have numbers change.

If you showed someone the document and said it was the scanner's fault, they would think you were a crazy person. Sometimes paranoia is justified.

http://www.dkriesel.com/en/blog/2013/0802_xerox-workcentres_are_switching_written_numbers_when_scanning

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

C-Euro posted:

I'm not sure I guess, I just don't want any bridges burned as I'd like to stay in this industry and my current company is on the rise (or so we say)



Death is certain, but nothing else is. Two weeks before you want to leave, give your current employer your two week notice. Get your money and promotion in the meantime if you can. You don't want to give 2 month notice, get passed over, and then have your fiancee's plans fall through unexpectedly.

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

Aquatic Giraffe posted:

I sent my recruiter an email the other day asking what other jobs they had open since work was drying up at my current place.

They immediately called my boss and told them I was threatening to quit and I've been doing damage control all morning.

gently caress you too.

If they recruited you for your current place, they probably received a fee from the company for finding you. If you leave before a certain period of time, that fee would probably be rescinded. They're certainly not going to help you take money out of their own pocket, and, as it turns out, will actively sabotage your efforts in order to prevent that from happening.

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

the talent deficit posted:

I worked at a place where after three failed login attempts to the company intranet thing it would just log you in anyways. No one cared until someone opened a ticket with IT about it and then everyone was lectured about how we would be fired for hacking if we ever did it.

Security through apathy

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

MickeyFinn posted:

My boss's philosophy is that it is easier to ask forgiveness than permission. To his credit, I don't have to go to the "we didn't do it" meetings without him, but that may be because I said we couldn't do it from the beginning.

You are not going to the meeting because he is going to throw you under the bus so hard.

Edit: or maybe you are, but he's going too? He's going to be there so you can't throw him under the bus too hard

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

Mr. Wookums posted:

If you share that you have knowledge of other's salary you'd be let go here regardless of if it's from a spreadsheet, DB or word of mouth.

I love it when people brag about how their office has unofficial policies that flagrantly violate federal law (assuming you're in the US). Discussion of compensation is really, really explicitly protected.

I mean, I know that any company can just fire you because we live in an at-will hellhole of a country with zero worker protections, but that's not something to be chipper about.

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.
I had my car's windshield cracked while I was parked in the parking lot at work. Kids waiting at the bus stop next to the road adjacent to our lot occasionally throw stones, and I found the offending rock sitting on my hood.

I asked HR if they would cover my $50 deductible to have the windshield replaced, they said they would ask the administrative/legal partner, and took a photocopy of my receipt. While we were doing that, another guy stopped by and said "I had my windshield broken too - can I give you a copy of my deductible receipt too?", and he did.

A week or so went by, and I got a call from the admin partner telling me that because people have varying deductibles, they don't want to set a policy of reimbursing for that damage, because it "wouldn't be fair". My suspicion is they also generally didn't want to imply that they accept liability for our vehicles in the lot, but whatever, just 50 bucks.

Later on I was chatting with the other guy who had his windshield broken, and it turns out that his $100 WAS reimbursed. So I'm guessing that the first check across the partner's deck got approved and then when they saw the second one they realized they didn't want to start writing a bunch of checks if this was an ongoing problem.

About 2 weeks after the incident, the main partner who oversees my division stopped by to tell me that they were having a fence installed to limit the rock-throwing, and mentioned the reimbursements for damage. When I mentioned that they actually weren't reimbursing, he asked me how much the deductible was, said "Oh, $50?" and pulled out his money clip and handed me a $50 bill.

It was a nice gesture that he paid for it, but man that was a demeaning way to get reimbursed.

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

Renegret posted:

We also have a team officially named "The Lobster Tank"

I have no idea why.

Lots of windows and jackasses tapping on the glass when they walk by.

We had the Fishbowl for the guy who had his cubicle glassed in because he was so goddamn loud.

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

Sundae posted:

Fortunately, their unrealistic metrics are also so badly tracked that they can't really tell which functional area is suffering, so operators aren't getting dinged for it.

So you're saying the system works.

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.
We had our offices renovated from standard drop ceiling into fancy-looking exposed ceilings with the cylindrical metal HVAC tubing like you see at a Chipotle. In the offices, however, the new air ducting created an actual Cold War because people who didn't like the amount of AC would block off the vents above their area. This caused the air flow to get pushed elsewhere in that run, making the adjacent offices EVEN COLDER.

It ended when one of the management folks brought in the maintenance guys to investigate why the AC was blowing papers off his table. It turns out that the rest of the people on that HVAC run had covered over their vents with invisible packing tape that you didn't notice at a glance. The tape was removed and everyone was rendered equally unhappy.

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

paragon1 posted:

All the leftovers from last night's potluck has disappeared. No one knows who did it. People are pissed.

I heard three different theories on an office conspiracy during morning rounds.

We had a charity potluck chili event, $5 cover charge going to a good cause. There was a leftover unopened big bag of tortilla chips (~$4 at the grocery store) that was left down in the lunch room afterwards. It wasn't in a 'sharing food spot'. It disappeared overnight, and when someone mentioned that to the front door secretary, she hopped onto the exterior video recordings from the previous day.

Turns out that one of the cleaning crew smuggled it out under her coat, revealing the chips when her coat blew open in the wind.

The owner of the cleaning contracting company donated a couple hundred bucks to the charity, not sure what happened to the employee :smith:

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

me your dad posted:

Is it normal for a VPN remote desktop connection to be really laggy? If not, is there a way to improve it? I just tested my internet speed on my home network and we're getting 43mbps down and 45mbps up with an 8ms ping.

Those speeds are fine for your general access to the internet, so it's probably the pipe into/out of your company's network infrastructure that is the bottleneck. If it's a snow day, it's because all the other people VPNing in are trying to share the pipe

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

Shrieking Muppet posted:

Came back from vacation and have spent this morning getting updates of office bullshit. Our new CEO seems like think Walmart and GE are great role models... Apparently we are now in a hiring freeze and we are switching to a system where the bottom 10% will be fired every year. A great plan in a field where it takes a year to train someone to useful. And If we can make 10 million over our target we will get retroactive pay raises (yeah sure). Of course we already started the year off with someone dissolving six stirring spatulas the size of boat oars in a batch of drugs so we're probably down 1 million already. When I get home I'm replying to some canvas letters from the state and looking for jobs.

Turns out the company just patented Nexium with Spatula and extended the patent life another 20 years. The new drug was spun off to a new company, so no bonuses

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

Sundae posted:

No disagreement from me. Alas, I am but a simple caveman scientist, so I don't have any say in that.

Not the first Nuremberg defense in Corporate America, I'm sure

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

John Smith posted:

Oh, you never saw his other channel's content before? Click on the main channel's "About" tab and scroll down to the featured channel (second from bottom).

Don't get me started about that dirty Expert Sexchange website

Experts-exchange

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

Vegetable posted:

Why would you need to link Excel files to Word docs, I honestly can't imagine that use case

So that my PowerPoint presentation can see the Access database holding the Publisher file to look at a Project schedule that was originally done in Excel and displayed in Word

My theory is that by completing the loop I will summon Satan

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

Vegetable posted:

Is the company's actions legal at all? Can they even do that? Surely they gotta fire you to stop paying you

What is 'firing' you? Why would you prefer to be fired over furloughed?

If you can get unemployment, but you have a job waiting in the future, you still have healthcare through the employer, aren't you better off?

Nothing is stopping you from searching for other jobs

Nothing is stopping you from quitting and taking your vacation payout

From some random consultant website about furloughs:

quote:

Wage & Hour Issues:1

Salaried (exempt) employees: Because an exempt employee need not be paid for any workweek in which the employee performs no work, full week, unpaid furloughs are permissible under the Federal Fair Labor Standards Act ("FLSA"), and under most state wage and hour laws. Keep in mind, however, that if a salaried employee performs any work in a workweek, he or she is entitled to their full salary for the week. Therefore, if an employer implements week-long furloughs the employer will also need to institute and distribute a policy prohibiting the furloughed employees from performing any work during the furlough. To the extent some minimal amount of work is performed during a furlough week (e.g., returning a phone message or answering an email), an employer could also argue that the work is de minimis, and therefore not compensable.

Partial-week furloughs (e.g., a four-day workweek schedule at 20% reduction in pay; or mandatory days off without pay), are not without risk under the wage and hour laws, but there are some creative solutions that have passed legal muster under wage and hour laws when certain criteria have been met.

For example, on the issue of shortened workweeks with a concomitant reduction in pay, the U.S. Department of Labor ("DOL") has taken the position that such reductions in salary are permissible and will not defeat the exemption, provided that the reduction in salary (1) is bona fide and not intended to circumvent the salary basis test; (2) does not bring the salary to below the minimum threshold; (3) is prospective; and (4) is not done so frequently that the salary becomes a "sham" for hourly wages.

According to various DOL Opinion Letters, reducing salary once or twice each year does not violate the salary basis test.2 In addition, two cases can be interpreted to support more frequent reductions in salary, up to four or five times per year.3 However, there is one federal case that has held that an employer's decision to reduce salary and hours resulted in the loss of the employees' exempt status.4

Relying on the DOL opinion letters and the 10th Circuit's 2005 Wal-Mart decision, an Illinois Appellate court recently applied that same analysis in a case involving exempt employees who were required to take time off without pay during certain holiday weeks.5 There, the court held that forced time off without pay during holiday weeks did not destroy the subject employees' exempt status because the mandatory unpaid time off was based on a bona fide business need; was a prospective reduction in pay rather than a prohibited deduction in pay, and was only required infrequently.

Hourly (non-exempt) Employees: To the extent an employer considers requiring non-exempt employees to take furloughs, off-the-clock work could be an issue here as with exempt employees. As mentioned above, however, an employer could address that issue by communicating to furloughed employees that they are not permitted to perform any work during the furlough.

EEO Issues: Just like in a RIF situation, an employer could potentially face claims of discrimination under disparate impact and/or disparate treatment theories if some proportion of employees selected for the furlough program fall within a category protected by the various anti-discrimination laws. Therefore, it makes sense for employers to take a look at the demographic makeup of the selected employees before instituting the program.

Contractual and/or Benefit Plan Issues: Employers also review employee contracts, handbooks and benefit plan documents to check for any contractual obligations that could be compromised by a furlough program. In addition, to the extent that benefit plans and/or handbooks condition certain benefits on the number of hours an employee works in a given week, such that a furlough program could result in the loss of healthcare coverage, the program could also trigger COBRA obligations.

https://www.comparebusinessproducts.com/briefs/how-implement-furlough-salaried-overtime-exempt-employees

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

Ashcans posted:

One of my client companies sent me a nepalese singing bowl as a 'gift of synergy'. On the one hand, its a little eye-rolling corporate fluff, but on the other hand it's kind of a nice bowl and also literally the only gift a client has sent me, so I'm a little pleased.

Break it open to check for passive listening devices

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

tumblr hype man posted:

Yea past a certain point more time in an application doesn’t get you a better decision. We almost never had proof of income on that first pass though. So we’d have to go back and review it later.
That job had its issues, I still remember getting a picture of a credit application with a dudes bare foot holding it down on the floor. Like wtf dude.

Denied: Trim your toenails

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

Thomamelas posted:

Can you dummy up a fake process requiring any spilled particles that can be seen with the naked it be counted? Because if so, pallets of rice are kinda cheap.

You're thinking of how to combat counting vampires

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
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Dik Hz posted:

I feel like if multiple employees have complained about the intensity of it, everyone is resorting to only asking vital questions. 30 minutes (by OP's own description) of Socratic bullshit will make me never ask that person a single question ever again.

*Diogenes holds up a plucked chicken*

“Behold, a manager!”

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
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ultrafilter posted:

That's always a good sign.

Shuffle deckchairs fast enough, you can generate lift

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
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Blorange posted:

It sure sounds like you fully presented the process and they had no negative feedback on it.

That will definitely keep him from having to re-do it when it turns out he made a "bad" underlying assumption

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

greazeball posted:

I'm double Kanban

"Managed with Kanban! but upon what does that stand?"

"Why, on another Kanban, to be sure!"

"But what supports the last?"

"Child, how stupid you are! There's Kanban all the way down!"

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
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Volmarias posted:

This guy is a Galaxy brained individual and I do not understand how he's not a C level yet.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Corporate Megathread: but that's life in the innovation world

Ignoring the spirit of rules in order to squeeze more profit out of a single quarter at the detriment of the company's future is American Capitalism 101, promote this man.

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

Bank posted:

It all depends if they want the person out at all. I know people that have been retained for some real crazy poo poo..

Okay Devor, this is your last warning. The next time you urinate during a business meeting, we're going to write you up

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
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HiroProtagonist posted:

lol this is straight illegal if you're working on a fed contract, and in fact DCAA mandates that you report timesheet fraud.

unlike us poor saps who are non billable.

Most white-collar office jobs are salaried, which exempts them from overtime requirements, both in the sense of "don't pay time and a half over 40 hours" and "don't have to pay more than 40 hours, even at straight time".

Many companies have policies where you will be paid for your hours worked/billed above 40 hours, as an incentive for you to work more billable hours. This is typically not a law or regulation, however.

https://corporate.findlaw.com/human-resources/government-contracts-issue-update-uncompensated-overtime.html

quote:

Uncompensated Overtime

The DCAA Audit Manual (Section 6-410) discusses uncompensated overtime in some detail from the perspective of whether contractors should record all actual hours in their timekeeping systems (i.e., whether contractors should use “total time accounting”). Surprisingly, DCAA never reaches a conclusion on the subject. DCAA effectively seems to condone the submission of signed timesheets that represent less than time actually worked.

...

The DCAA 6-410 (2016) provides that the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA) requires overtime compensation for hourly workers who work in excess of 40 hours per week. However, salaried employees are not required to be compensated for overtime. Hours that a salaried employee works over 40 hours is called uncompensated time.

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
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Sydin posted:

Exactly what my last job did, lol. We had a big employee survey that came back abysmal, the two worst categories were pay and "direction/health of the company." For the former they had HR meet with us to inform us that no, you are not actually underpaid, you're just in a high CoL area so it feels like you're underpaid. For the latter our director pulled us all into a meeting to explain to us that the stock price was up, which means the company was doing well, and we were all clearly just not paying attention. Then they sent the survey back out to get a "better pulse now that misunderstandings and misinformation [had] been cleared up."

Surveys will continue until results improve

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
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greazeball posted:

Italians have this magic that lets them get away with loving everything. They're amazing and you get like contact-high when you hang out with them and try it on too but there are limits to what mere mortals can get away with.

What other ethnicities/nationalities have it too good?

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
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FrozenVent posted:

Two hour training on MS365.

Training includes both people who still print out their emails and MS Team Superusers. Total 25 people.

A good use of our time.

Wouldn't want to hurt people's feelings when they look around the training and see the caliber of workers who need instructions on how to use Office

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
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FrozenVent posted:

Recruiter: “We’re finding out that we under estimated the compensation market for this position, we’ll pause the process until we can get additional budget approved.”

:getin:

Translation: we didn’t get any unicorn candidates willing to work for peanuts. We’ll pull down the listing so it looks fresh for our next attempt at scamming someone out of an appropriate salary

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
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priznat posted:

I suspect it's just IT in these companies being too overworked to properly qualify them.

I suspect it's the numbers on fielding service calls to troubleshoot setup, and malfunctions caused by a thrilling combination of user error and grease-smeared, food-caked finger scanners.

The IT-savvy forum user who thinks to wipe down the scanner is not the average user.

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Devor
Nov 30, 2004
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Vasudus posted:

I don't care what it actually stands for you cannot convince my brain that it's not erotic roleplaying so every single time I see the topic brought up my brain does a full halt.

I put on my blazer and comptroller hat...

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