KRAMER THIS PHONE'S A PIECE OF JUNK, GOODBYE

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > KRAMER THIS PHONE'S A PIECE OF JUNK, GOODBYE

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penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

"It's an Arby's night. High five."

# ¿ Apr 25, 2010 18:29

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 00:31

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

Notsosubtle posted:

The #1 Funniest Moment in that 10 best moments clip totally missed that best part about that Vandelay Industries gag, with Jerry coming in at the end and ad-libbing "and you want to be my latex salesmen".

A few years ago at my first job, I was in a rush to get together a whole crapload of pages for a book right before a meeting -- basically, I had to get 10 copies of this book printed -- and the printer had hosed up and didn't collate the pages. So I had stacks of pages in my cubicle, and I was sitting on the floor trying to sift my way through all of this stuff, and one of the editors walked by, took one look at the papers and at how frustrated I was, and said to me, "And you want to be my latex salesman," then walked away.

# ¿ Apr 25, 2010 19:37

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

"David, I'm going to hell! The worst place in the world! With devils and those caves and the ragged clothing! And the heat! My god, the heat! I mean, what do you think about all that?"

"It's gonna be rough."

"You should be trying to save me!"

"Don't boss me! This is why you're going to hell."

"I am NOT going to hell and if you think I'm going to hell, you should care that I'm going to hell, even though I am not."

"You stole my Jesus fish, didn't you?!"

"Yeah, that's right!"

# ¿ Apr 26, 2010 17:26

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

I loved James Spader as the recovering alcoholic who refuses to apologize to George. But I also love James Spader :allears:

# ¿ Apr 26, 2010 21:39

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

All right, the Grace building. There's a big stain on the front. How do we get it off?

# ¿ Apr 26, 2010 23:08

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

Stare-Out posted:

I recently watched "The Race" again and the scene in the cafe where George pretends not to have seen Jerry for 20 years is fantastic. All he's supposed to do is to lie about Jerry not cheating in the race but instead just starts lying his rear end off about how he's a millionare and an architect. Him belitteling Jerry's comedy act is also priceless, as is Jerry's comeback:

"Boy, you really went bald there."

Watching Jason Alexander lying or coming up with excuses as George is phenomenal.

"Art Core... velay."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YoliGLJT2Y

"I guess I started losing it when I was 28, after I made my first million." :smug:

# ¿ Apr 27, 2010 02:38

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

One of my favorite scenes is when Puddy is just sitting in Elaine's apartment staring off into the middle distance, and the phone rings and it's Kramer.

"Puddy."
"Yeah, is David Puddy there?"
"This is Puddy."
"Well, this is Kramer."
"I know."

# ¿ Apr 27, 2010 02:46

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

E the Shaggy posted:

My favorite ending to a Seinfeld episode is George being dragged out of the theater. To the audience, it makes perfect sense why he's flipping out, but to everyone else, it sounds like he's the most insane person on the loving planet.

"You don't understand! They're in on it! Laughing at me! LYING AND LAUGHING AND LYING! They're killing independent George! Worlds are colliding!"

Speaking of George and movie theaters:

Man #1: "Hey baby, how about a little tongue action, huh?"
Man #2: "Yeah, stick your tongue down his throat!"
(They laugh and kick George's and Victoria's seats)
Victoria: "What are we gonna do? Should we just move?"
George: "That won't be necessary." (gets up and turns towards the two men)
George: "Shut your traps and stop kicking the seats! We're trying to watch the movie! And if I have to tell you again, we're gonna take it outside and I'm gonna show you what it's like! You understand me? Now, shut your mouths or I'll shut 'em for ya, and if you think I'm kidding, just try me. Try me. Because I would LOVE it!"

edit: oh what the hell http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzxfivZF9Yk

# ¿ Apr 27, 2010 04:54

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

He took *blows on glasses twice* it. out.

# ¿ Apr 27, 2010 20:00

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

hall n oates mom posted:

You forgot DEATH BLOW

Kramer: "Death Blow: When someone tries to blow you up, not because of who you are, but for different reasons altogether!"

"You have selected...Agent Zero?"

Why don't you just tell me the name of the movie you'd like to see!

# ¿ Apr 27, 2010 22:27

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

This is one of my favorite bits from "The Opera": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UcXBcMxUPc

# ¿ Apr 29, 2010 04:43

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

Jerry: Well, the yogurt verdict is in.
Kramer: Oh?
Jerry: FAT.

# ¿ Apr 29, 2010 16:39

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

Vile weed! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJw6Z-MLyBA

# ¿ May 6, 2010 05:06

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

Klaus Kinski posted:

I'm still on the fence about kramer being terrible. It's more like he doesn't care/know any better in situations where everyone else would start scheming

Someone find the speech jerry gives george after the first meeting with nbc about how he needs to have an entire psych department dedicated to him, it sums up the characters so well.

e: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_Ugz1NvumM

I think Kramer is just a lovable goof, and probably the "nicest" one of the bunch. He seems intensely loyal to Jerry, less so to Elaine and George, and is always well-meaning no matter what. I really can't think of any instances where he was a deliberate rear end in a top hat.

Also, I can't help but notice that whenever Jerry delivers a line, even when he's trying to be mad, he can't keep a straight face. You can always sense that once the camera is off him, he breaks down into fits of laughter. I know he's said it's because he's not an actor, but it's really obvious, especially in that Vienna clip.

# ¿ May 28, 2010 20:02

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

hall n oates mom posted:

I imagined it would've grossed even more in royalties. It's the stuff of a syndication legend. Not that there's anything wrong with generating 3 billion dollars for doing nothing.

Not at all!

# ¿ Jun 8, 2010 04:44

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

potee posted:

That's right. High five.

Jerry: "Hey Elaine, have you noticed your boyfriend has developed an annoying little habit?"
Elaine (squints): "The squinting?"
Jerry: "No."
Elaine (stares): "The staring?"

# ¿ Aug 4, 2010 21:10

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

Stuntman Mike posted:

"Do you even know what a write-off is?"

"...do you?"

"No"

"Neither do I. But they do. And they're the ones....writing it off"

"I wish I had the last 20 seconds of my life back."

# ¿ Aug 6, 2010 17:31

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

Martytoof posted:

I just watched The Opera again, and I always forget just how genuinely creepy Joe Devola is. The scene in his apartment is loving crazy.

"I hope we don't miss the overture."
"Overture! Curtains! Lights! This is it, we'll hit the heights! And oh what heights we'll hit! On with the show, this is it!"

# ¿ Aug 14, 2010 05:28

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

Cyra posted:

I just want to say that that wall of pictures brought me to tears. I cried from laughing. Thank you so much for that.

That mosaic brought me as much joy as an episode of Seinfeld.

It was all the pics of Frank in Korea that killed me. I don't know why it was that one particular image, but it was enough.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2010 12:12

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

"Hey, that van's a-rockin'." :haw:

# ¿ Aug 25, 2010 01:13

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

Iron Crowned posted:

I just realized that the owner of the bar I go to reminds me of Banya.

Is he the best? The BEST?

# ¿ Aug 27, 2010 04:36

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

We won an Emmy, y'know.

# ¿ Aug 29, 2010 20:54

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

Tiny Fistpump posted:

"This guy...this is not my kinda guy"

If we're focusing on single lines that one has to be in my top 5

I think mine is "And you want to be my latex salesman."

edit: Although "Sex... to SAVE the friendship." might be a very close second.

edit2: oh god there are too many: "My name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents."

penis sandwich fucked around with this message at 03:32 on Aug 31, 2010

# ¿ Aug 31, 2010 03:15

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

Boy, you really went bald there, didn't ya?

# ¿ Sep 10, 2010 17:14

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

Wank posted:

I can't believe no one has posted this sequence yet, I was going to post the text but it is a bit too big for that. This is one of my favourite parts of Seinfeld and was when I finally "got" Seinfeld. It pretty much mirrored the thought processes of what I and I expect any person just leaving high school/college had about what jobs they want to do. Having George sitting down on the foor behind the table really reinforces the juvenility of his thinking. And of course, my favourite... "it's probably a union thing" and George's reaction to that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LCggmsCXk4

My favorite bit:

"Maybe I could be an announcer, like a color man. Y'know how I always make those interesting comments during the game."
"Yeah, yeah, you make good comments..."
"So how about that?"
"Well, y'know, they tend to give those jobs to ex-ballplayers and people that are, y'know... in broadcasting."
"...Well that's really not fair."
"I know."

# ¿ Sep 13, 2010 12:45

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

Der Shovel posted:

This god drat thread. Seinfeld is one of my absolute all time favourite shows (my favourite episodes are the Mandelbaum arc) but it's been a while since I watched it.

I stumbled on this thread, read the first 35 pages and went out to buy the DVDs. Now all I've done for the past two days is watch Seinfeld. Homework? Nope! Work assignments? I can get to them later!

But you know, I think I'm coming out ahead in this trade. I'd forgotten just how amazing this show is.

It's what George would have wanted.

# ¿ Sep 16, 2010 13:26

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

T. Finn posted:

I love this scene so much because Jerry has a mouthful of coffee cake and is also smirking when he delivers the line, and he holds it out at arms length and sort of showcases it, while Newman is slavering over it.

It's always made me want a Drake's coffee cake in a big way :ohdear:

# ¿ Oct 9, 2010 01:20

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

I prefer the outtake, and I bet that if the show was airing today, the outtake would have been used instead. But "Seinfeld" never really went for the gross-out humor approach, and a belch after gulping down a beer would have been the closest they'd have gotten to "gross-out humor". So I'm not surprised it didn't make it into the regular show, which is a shame considering most of the happy mistakes (Kramer's car not starting in the Parking Garage, for instance) made the written scene all the better.

# ¿ Oct 15, 2010 02:58

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

"It's Frank and Estelle's reaction of hearing George's man-love towards she-Jerry."

# ¿ Oct 21, 2010 21:58

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

"Down. Town."
"I got nothing."

# ¿ Oct 22, 2010 12:03

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

Oh, he pretty much thinks everyone's gay.

# ¿ Oct 23, 2010 03:58

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

Regarding the studio audience, just try to imagine Kramer sliding in and slapping his money on the counter in "The Contest" without laughter. Or George telling his story with the beached whale. It just wouldn't be the same.

# ¿ Oct 29, 2010 18:50

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

Do you mean "reer"?

# ¿ Nov 5, 2010 12:37

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

Hello! I'm sorry, I'm just fighting with my wife.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2010 21:48

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

neoboman posted:

Like you didn't call me... A PHONY!!!

Man, that Michael Jordan is so phony!

# ¿ Jan 19, 2011 17:47

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

Coffee And Pie posted:

Dad thinks George is gay.

"Oh, because of all that singing?"
"No, he pretty much thinks everyone is gay."

# ¿ Jul 18, 2011 21:39

penis sandwich: Aug 28, 2004; have some pudding :)

Relayer posted:

What are you doing?? That's Witchy Woman, I thought it could be our song.

Witchy Woman is ok for you but I've already got a song..

Oh, well then how bout Desperado? We can share it

No.. it's mine.