KRAMER THIS PHONE'S A PIECE OF JUNK, GOODBYE

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > KRAMER THIS PHONE'S A PIECE OF JUNK, GOODBYE

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

I always loved this show just because of how Jerry and the gang straight up laughed in each other's faces when a personal tragedy/loss occurred. Its like there was zero compassion at all amongst the four of them. Glorious.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2010 19:26

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 05:07

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Arturo Ui posted:

Which came to a climax when Susan died. Elaine's "I'm so...sorry?" is hilarious as is Kramer meta-pondering the strangeness of Susan's death ("Well that's weird...")

Haha yeah it seemed like Elaine was confused as to whether she should mock George or offer her condolences. That's a hosed up group dynamic right there.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2010 19:37

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

I keep waiting for one of my friends to call me in a completely frantic state with a long, drawn out tale of woe so I can calmly respond "Who is this?" with a poo poo-eating grin on my face.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2010 20:16

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Dr_Amazing posted:

The best part of that is how he starts banging the phone on the wall.

I've always loved how George always tries to tell one little lie to get out of doing something and it will end up snowballing into this giant thing that he has to try and hide. If only he could ever admit the first lie.

Also I've heard there's a superman joke in every single show. I knows there's a lot but is there really that many?

His epic fake house in the Hamptons. "ALRIGHT, YOU WANNA GET NUTS?! LET'S GET NUTS!!!!"

# ¿ Apr 22, 2010 20:26

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Tiny Fistpump posted:

My favorites rare moments are when Elaine physically threatens George

Like in "The Little Kicks" where George is out on a date with Anna. I love seeing him retract in fear when Elaine moves towards him.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2010 22:18

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

hall n oates mom posted:

You're very probably thinking of "The Opposite" in S5, which is one of my all-time favorite episodes. A variation of this same theme occurs in "The Abstinence" in S8 as well, where George finds a sexual dryspell greatly increases his intellect while the same circumstance has the inverse effect on Elaine.

I haven't had sex for a week and I don't know no Portugese.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2010 22:46

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

After Jerry pretend-smothers George in the hospital after his "heart attack"...."Elaine....what are YOU doing here?"

Haha and George calls him a jerkoff.

# ¿ Apr 23, 2010 00:09

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

HateTheInternet posted:

Big Stein wants an eggplant calzone!

I'd like to think that real-life Big Stein was even more insane in his prime than Larry David's version.

# ¿ Apr 23, 2010 02:43

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Dr_Amazing posted:

I don't even remember the context of the clip but I can't stop laughing at it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QJnE-uiJvo

This was a weird show growing up because pretty much 100% of any names dropped were people I had never heard of. There's a lot of stuff that's much funnier when I rewatch it.

That's the episode where he was trying to avoid his girlfriend so she couldn't break up with him. Then Kramer ends up doing it for her at some fancy restaurant.

# ¿ Apr 23, 2010 04:07

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

hall n oates mom posted:

'The Susie' - Another favorite. To anyone who doesn't watch too closely; the death of an imaginary person created by Elaine is a heavy load to bear in exactly the same way as Susan's death was to George. She closes out the episode with a spinning dolly shot and an anguished scream of "SUUUUUSE", just like George did the same with "KHAAAAAAN" in 'The Foundation'.

"Not only that, but I broke his thumbs!"

# ¿ Apr 23, 2010 04:13

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Bobfromsales posted:

My two favorite Episodes are by far The Pen and The Cheever Letters. Both of those episodes put the cast into a world that's so completely insane they make them look normal. In both stories the people involved are in worlds so isolated they don't even realize that the way they act is abnormal. Which is what Larry David's point was in the finale anyway, except this time about the main characters.

"When you come in the house, you wipe your wheels!!"

Kills me, every time.

"Who's John?! Who's John?!"

# ¿ Apr 23, 2010 05:29

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

What about after George finds out Susan's parents are starting a foundation in her name based on what Jerry said during the funeral (which he just ripped off from Wrath of Khan).

"That's it...." *squirts mustard into Jerry's coffee and stirs it* "...that's the line that ruined my life."

# ¿ Apr 24, 2010 13:42

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

DrBouvenstein posted:

And then he gets beat up because he didn't give the scholarship to the kid who then joins the Van Buren Boys.

Edit: Nd speaking of watching it with parents...I was watching the one where Jerry tries to do the roommate switch, and George comes up with the menage a trois. I had to ask my parents what that was cause I was too young to know yet.

Haha but first he tries to take Mrs. Seinfeld's purse and fails miserably.

# ¿ Apr 24, 2010 15:36

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Pompous Rhombus posted:

Watching this on Youtube now, man, Jason Alexander is just so on top of that character all the time. I love when he talks about George in the third person.

Edit: He's so loving intense, I love it.

"Before we go any further, I just want to point out how disturbing it is that you equate biting into a large block of cheese with some kind of bachelor paradise."

# ¿ Apr 24, 2010 16:15

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

"For I am Constanza...Lord of the Idiots."

"You're all winners!"

"...However, a new contender emerges."

# ¿ Apr 25, 2010 17:05

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Parachute posted:

"I'm the exterminator"

"That's... what we used to call him in high school, the exterminator. He's a linebacker. Oh, did we have some wild times."

"Hey, Sugar Ray Leonard can eat here for free anytime!"

# ¿ Apr 26, 2010 17:42

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

safety dan posted:

Before Seinfeld, muffin tops weren't a thing. I could go buy a muffin top at Atlanta Bread Company right now. That's lasting impact. I'll tell you right now the ABC doesn't make them the "right" way, but I hear it's prohibitively difficult to get rid of the stumps.

They need to hire a cleaner.

# ¿ Apr 26, 2010 18:07

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

JethroMcB posted:

I loved Jerry's explanation of why it showed up at the end of his "Cry, Cry Again" bootleg. "So you cry, and when you see the dancer, you cry again."

When it comes to celebrity appearances, I always liked a then-relatively unknown Brian Posehn's 2-line appearance as another member of the disease actor troop from Kramer and Mickey's gonorrhea storyline.

"The surgeon left a sponge in me."

Reading the script for that episode, I forgot just how many great lines there are. It may be one of my favorite episodes.

George: I like Christian rock. It's very positive. It's not like those real musicians who think they're so cool and hip.

Not like those rock musicians with their complicated shoes!

# ¿ Apr 26, 2010 23:25

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

"Oh by the way I'm not getting married tell mom bye"

*rips phone cord out of wall*

# ¿ Apr 28, 2010 04:49

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

*Newman reveals blown up photograph of the large black man from the photo shop, half nude*

George: "OH MY GOD!"

By far, my favorite of George's "oh my gods"

# ¿ Apr 28, 2010 20:34

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

I like how terrifying Elaine's father was at the restaurant in "The Jacket". The part where George comes up with a really lovely lie to try and get out of dinner and Jerry goes "Oh yeah, that'd work....he'd clunk our heads together like Moe."

edit: Haha here's the exchange:

JERRY: How are we going to get out of it?
GEORGE: We'll say we're frightened and we have to go home.
JERRY: Yeah, that's good. He'd clunk our heads together like Moe.
GEORGE: I don't know. Just start scratching. Tell him you have the crabs. He was in the military. He'll understand that.

haljordan fucked around with this message at 20:41 on May 1, 2010

# ¿ May 1, 2010 20:38

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Cheeseball IV posted:

It must be comforting to know you'll be going straight to hell at no more than three miles an hour.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5g_xmQhe-Fg

"Mr. Tomasulu picked the wrong man to fire because he was fake handicapped!"

# ¿ May 1, 2010 21:25

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

explosivo posted:

Any time someone mentions somebody named Tony I think of Seinfeld.

Hunky To-nay!

Just step off George!

# ¿ May 2, 2010 16:45

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Robnoxious posted:

You put the balm on? Who told you to put the balm on? I didn't tell you to put the balm on. Why'd you put the balm on? You haven't even been to see the doctor. If your gonna put a balm on, let a doctor put a balm on.

This is the most public yet of my many humiliations.

# ¿ May 5, 2010 19:05

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

ChickenMedium posted:

Yeah, there were a poo poo ton of Jerry's stand-up comic buddies that guest-starred on Seinfeld.

Larry Miller (doorman) was also on a bunch of Law & Order episodes.

# ¿ May 6, 2010 03:57

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Dr_Amazing posted:

"AND THEN HE JUMPS OUT OF THE AIRPLANE AND AS HE'S FALLING HE'S SHOOTING BACK AT IT!!!!"

Just don't talk about it around George's dad...HE LIKES TO GO IN FRESH.

# ¿ May 6, 2010 04:42

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

NeuroticErotica posted:

Perfect.

"THIS IS A CARTOON!"

"You've lost a lot of hair."

"That's what they tell me!"

# ¿ May 21, 2010 11:52

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

regulargonzalez posted:

I gotta say that I found those books (think they were the Letters from a Nut series) far inferior to the similar Idiot Letters books, particularly the first one.

The best Idiot Letter is the one he wrote to Exxon-Mobil regarding their ad featuring a giant eagle. "WHAT IF IT GETS LOOSE?!!"

# ¿ May 21, 2010 12:38

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

The episode where Jerry goes and heckles Toby in her office (causing her to lose her pinkie toe) is so goddamned good, not just because of Kramer's retelling of the bus story, but also when Jerry is talking to the prop comic. The exchange goes something like this:

quote:

JERRY: So, I went down to the magazine, I pleaded with him to come and see me again, finally he agreed to come down tonight, and he's going to write another article.

RONNIE: I heard you went down to somebody's office and heckled them?

JERRY: drat right! We've been lapdogs long enough!

RONNIE: How could you do that? I mean, everybody's talking about it.

JERRY: Well, it's about time one of us drew a line in the sand.

RONNIE: Jerry, you're like Rosa Parks. You opened the door for all of us. I can't wait till the next time someone heckles me.

JERRY: Yeah, well, won't be long.

The fact that he says "Yeah, well, won't be long" directly to the guy's face, loud enough to be heard cracks me up every time I hear it.

# ¿ Jul 7, 2010 16:35

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

"Not only that, but I broke his thumbs too!"

# ¿ Jul 8, 2010 14:18

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Bobfromsales posted:

Because you know that Larry David's life is constantly spent thinking of excuses to get out of situations.

See, I don't think there IS any thinking. Its whatever pops into his brain first. "Uhhhhh......Soda! Need soda! See ya later!"

# ¿ Jul 8, 2010 22:07

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Jerusalem posted:

This reminds me of Susan asking Elaine if she and George are having an affair and Elaine just bursts out laughing and won't stop for ages.

I wonder who punches harder: Susan or Marisa Tomei.

# ¿ Jul 8, 2010 23:46

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Monsignor Martinez posted:

I enjoy how nothing about that job was ever explained the entire episode, just like when Kramer took on an office job and packed his briefcase with crackers.

"It's almost as if you have no formal business training whatsoever."

# ¿ Jul 10, 2010 23:54

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Karl Rove posted:

KKKramer .gifs

"Can we get ice cream after? Please? PLEASEEEEEEE?!"

# ¿ Jul 13, 2010 14:07

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

stratdax posted:

My theory as to why Kramer is well-off is because he's a trust fund baby. That would also explain why he's so eccentric.

My buddy thinks that one of Kramer's crazy inventions paid off big time at some point before the show started.

The periscope for your car would've made him billions alone I bet.

# ¿ Jul 14, 2010 21:12

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

How about his speech on Little Jerry?

"Yah, yah! You see in Little Jerry Seinfeld the unlimited future you once had. Now, just because Jerry Seinfeld is a has-been, don't make Little Jerry Seinfeld a never-was!"

# ¿ Jul 15, 2010 14:42

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

"Kramer, you can't live down here. This is where people come to die!"

# ¿ Jul 16, 2010 01:52

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

ProfessorGroove posted:

Of all the side characters Jackie Chiles Has to be my favorite. The funniest one though is when he's suing the tobacco company because Kramer aged 50 years in a few days, the greatest of Jackie's public humiliations.

I remember when they had the clip show episode and they showed the filming of the scene where Kramer's face is all hosed up because of the tobacco smoke. I wonder how many takes it took for Jerry to say "your face looks like an old catcher's mitt" without cracking up. They showed him doing it at least 4 times.

# ¿ Jul 17, 2010 15:32

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Also, the outtakes of Elaine trying to get through her scene with George's father in the police station.

"I could drop you like a bag of dirt."

# ¿ Jul 17, 2010 23:54

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 05:07

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

edit: gently caress, beaten.

OK then, FIRESTORM.

Remember when they had the helicopter land on top of that car...

# ¿ Jul 18, 2010 18:46

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > KRAMER THIS PHONE'S A PIECE OF JUNK, GOODBYE

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